Pitch Me a Calvin and Hobbes Movie

So Watterson is hoping to die sooner or later and the rights to Calvin and Hobbes will fall to his idiot soon or someone worse who'll whore it immediately to Hollywood. So pitch me the absolutely WORST things you can imagine them doing to it, Cred Forums. I want to be sickened.

Personally I'm thinking 3D Hobbes and live action Calvin. Also, or will be set in the future when Calvin is suffering in a dead end job and has just been divorced and Hobbes returns and he keeps thinking he's gping crazy.

Fuck, *going and *son. Stupid fat fingers.

it'll be full cgi like chorly brown.
they might make susie black.
and maybe have a real non-imaginary alien plot calvin has to foil while no one else believe him since he makes up shit all the time.

Stop

Paul Dano as Calvin
Terry Crews as Hobbes
It's a buddy cop dramedy

I'd like to see an adaptation of the Snow Goons plot

>will be set in the future when Calvin is suffering in a dead end job and has just been divorced and Hobbes returns and he keeps thinking he's gping crazy
yeah, probably this.

regardless, i'm not going to see whatever garbage they turn out

>mfw i love calvin and hobbes so much i literally named my son calvin

>short film
>animated, maybe even stop motion but nah
>calvin is an adult
>he's waiting in the garage of his parent's home
>his elderly father rides up slowly on a bike, calvin standing there waiting for him
>he gets off the bike and they hug, asks him where his daughter is
>"she's visiting her grandparents, susie said she'll come over right after"
>dad tells says they should go t the kitchen and he'll make him some coffee
>as they're walking past the dining room, calvin spots a box with his name on it
>"what's this"
>father peeks out from the kitchen
>"oh, I was cleaning out the attic and saw that. Your mother was pulling that together right before....well...you know. She wanted you to have it, maybe hand it down to (daughter)"
>calvin starts pulling out random items from the comics
>at the bottom is hobbes
>he stands there looking at it for a moment and then gets flashes of memories with hobbes
>the greatest hits for fans, pretty much fan service
>"dad? what's that?"
>"Hey (daughter), want to meet my old friend Hobbes?
>he places hobbes in front of her and she stares at him for a moment
>angle changes and then hobbes comes alive waking up from a nap stretching
>her face lights up and looks at her dad
>"Hi, I'm Hobbes...want to go play outside" or something like that
>she looks up at her dad and asks
>"Can we?" as if calvin could hear Hobbes' request
>he says of course, and it ends with her running out with hobbes playing outside

OP please, I was just reading my old collections of Calvin and Hobbes and thinking about how glad I am that Hobbes fought tooth and nail to protect the license.
Don't make me think about this stuff

If your goal was to make me cringe then congratulations

Immediantly after Bill dies, the rights will be sold to Disney. First there will be a cartoon made. Then an animation. After a live action movie and then a 3d animation movie. Lots of merchandising.

I mean Watterson not Hobbes but you get the point

By putting a voice to Calvin or Hobbes would immediately ruin and invalidate 10 years of Watterson's work. He knows this and will not allow his heirs or trust to sell C&H off for crass exploitation

A film about Calvin pissing on logos.

I saw the face of god and it was crying.

Where the wild things are-like coming of age film where Hobbes is puppet/cgi and helps Calvin cope with the fear of growing up. In the end, he realizes that growing up is an esssential part of life and gets his shit together. He doesn't need Hobbes anymore so he turns back into a stuffed tiger. Flash forward to adult Calvin narrating the movie. We see the woods he played in as a child and all the set pieces are actually a lot smaller than when he was a kid and adult Calvin remarks that he'll never forget Hobbes or that amazing year when he grew up. He's interrupted by his wife Susie who's picking up their daughter from school. Movie ends with a shot of stuffed Hobbes sitting in a box in their attic. Soundtrack by some indie band.

Please, God, if they do make a Calvin and Hobbes movie, let Pixar handle it. That office was basically full of C&H loving manchildren when I visited. They'd do a good job.

Calvin is played by Kevin Hart and Hobbes is The Rock

millenials dont know c&h, we're safe for now

This please.

...

Our lovable comic strip heroes are suddenly thrust into the real world (much like the smurfs movie). As they meet new faces and make new friends they quickly loose their optimism, self worth, and trust in each other. As Calvin turns to alcohol, prescription pain killers, and eventually heroin to cope with the every day cruelties of this new life, hobbes drifts further and further away across his personal ocean of self doubt and loathing.

Coming this christmas to a theater near you.

Calvin is played by Chris Evans
Hobbes is played by Idris Elba

i've always thought john ritter could've made a good hobbes but i've always been stuck on calvin.

The only way I could see it working is if Calvin is dealing with something very dark and Hobbes is used as a coping mechanism who gets less and less real as Calvin becomes more and more in touch with his sad reality.

> Calvin and Hobbes in suits with his Mom
> Walking into a church, the two of them riffing about how silly suits are
> Some societal commentary about trying to make events more than they are by dressing nice
> Calvin's mom tells him to be quiet
> Calvin's dad's funeral procession begins
> Calvin begins tearing up and hugs Hobbes
> Afterwards Calvin asks Hobbes if everyone dies
> "Everyone has to go eventually, but they'll always be here (touches heart) even after they're gone."
> Calvin cries, hugs Hobbes.
> Pulls back from Hobbes and he's no longer an animated character now he's just a stuffed tiger
> Out of nowhere Suzy comes and puts a solemn hand on his shoulder
> Calvin wipes away his tears and makes some joke about how girls suck
> Suzy gets fake mad and chases him off into the sunset
> Fading shot of Hobbes, as a stuffed tiger, being left behind while the two of them run around as silhouettes in the distance
> Fin

Or something along those lines.

This. The day I hear about a Calvin and Hobbs movie in the works is when I'm moving to the wilderness and living like hillfolk

I'd rather see an Assigned Male movie k thx

Hobbes is genderswapped, Calvin is going through puberty, there's an awkward love triangle between Calvin, girl-Hobbes and Suzie.

>Step 1: wait for Bill Watterson to die
>Step 2: ???
>Step 3: Profit!

Bill got better and better at making the visuals complement the text, but I love reading his dialogue-heavy strips a lot. I always love a comic strip with little jokes along the way.

It already happened

Another Ted movie with cameo

That sounds alright desu famalam

It's about a guy drawing an average comic that decades later gets cult status on a site created for sharing pornographic drawings of underage girls.

agreed, these strips where they're just bantering back and forth, and the super detailed comic book art ones are both GOAT

DELET THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW

I think a Tracer bullet/Spaceman Spiff spoof might be kinda cool