Will the new Harry Potter movie be any good?

Will the new Harry Potter movie be any good?

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harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Gamp's_Law_of_Elemental_Transfiguration
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirime
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its going to be some good pizza

Ilvermorny looks like would be interesting from an american point of view

>Australians, Americans, Canadians, and Mexicans at the same school
The rest of the shitposters on wizarding Cred Forums don't stand a chance

>UK and Ireland get their own school
>rest of the world is divided into memeblobs

Rowling always needed to flesh out the HP Universe, so this could be a real shot in the arm.

America has to share their magic school with fucking Aussies?

No thanks

>all of South America
>North America and Australia
Seriously, who drew this shit up?

Of course it won't be considering HP is one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>designated murder wizarding academy
Kek

Perhaps British Ministry of Magic has a tradition of isolationism.

>African school
>quidditch is a Toyota hilux with a giant wand on the back massacring villages

South America/Population
422.5 million

United Kingdom/Population
64.1 million

Let's not forgot that apparently one-third of the magical population all go to Mahoutokoro

>poo in loos and chinks getting along at the same school
Topkek

>Japan, China & Korea
>Russia & the Middle-East
>All of Africa

Fucking powderkegs

Maybe the people of those regions have less magical blood in them, and thus far less wizards are born there. The UK and Europe has stronger magic blood, and thus a lot more wizards

That's still literal billions of potential muggleborn wizards.

Even just playing the number game, it's got to be a logistical nightmare.
I remember a saying a couple years ago that said China has more honor students than the United States has students.
Magic would still be a nightmare.

...

What is this?

>no schools for africans

just like the muggles

volume 3 of The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

>Castelobruxo is the school for almost all of Latin America
>It's in Brazil
>Mahoutokoro is for all East/Southeast countries
>Japan
>Koldovstoretz
>Just a mess
How does the wizarding world even function? Does everyone know like a hundred languages at once or something? If there's about 3,000 wizards in the UK alone and 1,000 going to Hogwarts like JK Rowling says the schools would be so overcrowded.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Harry Potter is portrayed as the antichrist and he goes on a school shooting fueled with teenage angst.

Don't forget the lack of Wizarding jobs post-highschool. Unless you work at the Ministry, you're prospects are slim.

>Clifford in middle tier
Good kek

They live for a long, long time, too. So their young people would probably have a high level of unemployment.

Is this canon?

Where was this information gleaned, pottermore?

I'm guessing there's only so few schools, covering such huge area, because pretty much all the books take place in one country and one school, so there's never a need for Rowling to expand upon the world outside England besides some offhand mentions and cameos.

I'm pretty sure if someone told her to sit down and expand the world, there would end up being several more magic schools in other places. This is probably just the ones that were mentioned, rather than literally canon confirmed to be the only ones to exist.

>No separate school for scandis
>They go to le ebin slav school
That's some lazy writing right there.

These are canonically pretty much the only wizarding schools. This is pretty much her expanding the world.
I'm pretty sure she just didn't think the distances through. East coast and west coast of the US could easily support a school, then there would be many, many more, but she says that there's only 11.

They're wizards. They literally do not NEED jobs. They do work because they feel like it or are drawn to it.
At least that's the impression I got.

its going to be even worse than the other flicks

That's because this isn't a labor of love. It's just a cashgrab.

>but she says that there's only 11.

Did she actually say that though, or is this all she's done so far?

If she did actually say "Yes, in expanding the setting, there only exist 11 schools in the whole world." then yeah, that's retarded.

The schools are but I'm not sure of the nations they're tied to.

They do need jobs to buy clothes and food and stuff. They can't magically create those things, they mention it in the last book.

Yeah, she said there's only 11.

Harry literally magics up some water for discount gandalf in the second to last book.

>Bloom-quoting
nice

Water isn't food.

Contradicts the last book, when they're on their extended camping trip, they're going hungry because the food has to come from somewhere, not just made out of thin air.

>That's some lazy writing right there.
t. OSiRiS !OSiRiS3dfk
lmao

Was probably pretty awkward during WW2.

If you can magic up some hydrogen and oxygen atoms, why can't you magic up the rest?
Yeah, that universe is full of contradictions.
>>That's some lazy writing right there.
>t. OSiRiS !OSiRiS3dfk
>lmao
t. Anonymous
lmao

Because food is a lot more chemically complex than water?

t. abu elidiotface

But magically levitating objects so heavy they would crack your spine if you tried to lift them is easy as pie.

I'd assume that force fields to block magic attacks and every single wizard that's ever transformed into an animal are pretty damn complex, too, but they still seem to manage

>I have to go to the African school

Water and some other liquids are exceptions to the conjuring rule.
harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Gamp's_Law_of_Elemental_Transfiguration

>need jobs so they can make money
>there's a spell that causes everything to spontaneously split into two identical copies of it's original self

> tfw is the only all white school

>Americucks can't handle the banter
>Whatever the wizard equivalent of a school shooting is a regular occurence

thanks tumblr

>backpeddling: the wiki page
Still, it literally says right there that you can copy food if you already have it, making jobs a mere hobby

I assume that spell isn't permanent, and also magic money is probably enchanted to be unduplicatable.
They have snitches that remember the skin that they first touch, and quills that don't allow cheating.

I'm pretty sure this is like half the plot of the new movie, or at least it leads into it.

>castelobruxo

That's the name?
They just put the portuguese words for castle and witcher side by side
rip

>magic money is probably enchanted to be unduplicatable.
>Forced scarcity to maintain a pointless economy built around capitalism
Kinda makes sense when you look at who's running Gringotts I guess.

>witcher
sorry, I meant witch

Rowling has always had meme-tier naming conventions.

so does the wizarding south america mostly speak portuguese instead of spanish?

Isn't that how it is in real life too?

>huevada kedavra

I don't want to share a school with little Mexicos, why aren't they a part of Ilvermorny?

No, only in Brazil

Brazil is the only country that speaks portuguese in SA.

I wish, all South America should speak portuguese

Yeah... so MOST.

>all these huge cultural and language barriers

This map is dumb

>walletium leviosa

it's almost evenly 50/50 based on population, with a few million more spanish speakers

Ah.

>China+India+SEA

That better be a big school

There would probably be literally millions of wizards at that school

Could I just try and get to Durmstrang even if am not in that area? Because that is clearly the best school.

That herd would quickly get thinned by the countless oni and general asshole spirits.
And I mean "asshole" spirits literally.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirime

Obviously not

>brazilian wizarding school covers all of south america

>brazil being the one country in south america that doesn't speak spanish

JK is actually retarded. Honestly I think the concept has some potential if she handed it off to some ghost writer who isn't complete garbage.

that description literally just reads like Goatse.

why don't wizards have modern technology when they don't even have magical counterparts for it? are wizards coming up with inventions and ideas or are they just stealing them all from the muggles and making them more reddit?
also the fact that they keep it secret that they are wizards is the gayest plot hole shit ever.

I think she's just not very aware of those places in general. The UK has more reasonable stuff going on because she's very familiar with the place, but the rest of the world is too spread out because she doesn't grasp how large those would be. She's even said she's bat at math and numbers.

mexicans are the odd ones out because they don't speak english, they should be with south america

>Aus and NZ the same as American School
>Not the Brittish or Euro ones

OK!

Magic can mess with electronics when there's a lot of wizards around like at Hogwarts. Otherwise they look down at non-magic people even though their technology is quickly advancing.

all South America should be brazil

no thanks

>Ilvermorny and the wizarding US/North America have less wizards in general because of witch trials
>Ignores that Europe also had larger scale witch trials and many people came to North America to avoid persecution
explain this

Its garbage for children and not pedophiles from Cred Forums.

Harry Potter ended 5 years ago, the books ended 9 years ago, is it as popular with kids still? I got the vibe that she was trying to expand the world for the fans that are already adults.

nice thread

>because of witch trials
I don't think that's true.
I vaguely recall that the Salem witches would hex themselves into getting tickled by the flames instead of burned.

>Harry Potter ended 5 years ago
shit

but they have nothing in place of the internet, telephones, or cars or any kind of vehicle and everything else.

>accio vespa
>favelamora

Americans are all mongrels and rarely pure bloods.
Voldemort did nothing wrong

It's on Pottermore, she says there weren't a lot of wizards in the US because the Salem witch trials spooked them away from immigrating until the late 1800s. Also, the wizarding congress is in New York instead of DC.

>I got the vibe that she was trying to expand the world for the fans that are already adults.
They're trying to make the universe relevant again so they can profit off another generation.
It's going to work because the parents of this generation already know and love the universe.

Because all of that is solved by being able to teleport practically anywhere instantly, talking to eachother through fire and whatever the fuck.
They also have magical radios so they probably wouldn't need to do much to produce magic telephones if they needed them.

>Mexico gets the better deal
>The other spics have to fight with literal baboons

>spics
>baboons
ARGENTINA WOULD LIKE A WORD WITH YOU

It's going to end up being like the Hobbit was to LotR. It will make money and some will rave about it but it will be a soulless money grab that's a shadow of the movies before it.

>it will be a soulless money grab that's a shadow of the movies before it.
The best benefit it will have is that it won't have any "not muh" fags to ruin it. There's no source material for them to muck about with, just a broad set of magic rules, they aren't even tied to locations.
Gives them a lot of opportunities to not be as awful as the Hobbit movies were.

FOR YOU

Wait, so America gets the Haitians? Fuck, no wonder Voldimort only fucked about in bongland, nobody wants to mess with motherfuckers throwing vodou.

>go to Ilvermorny
>learn voodoo from the Haitians
>learn how to become a cassowary or emu animagus from the Australians
>learn beheading spells from the Mexicans
How could other schools even compete?

>All of Asia shares one school

>Haitian creole defense against the dark arts teacher

Fund it

All Haitian witches/warlocks must be hoping to become weather manipulators/earthquake preventers.

>Jamaican dark wizards
WAGWON BOMBACLAT MUGGLE SCUM

>all of Asia
>all of Africa
>South American is Brazilian
>Great Britain gets it's own when all other native English speakers+Mexico for some fucking reason gets another
it's like there was literally no thought put into this at all.

AVADA KEDAVRA

You're ruining it for everyone else with your non-english speaking.

The problem with the movies is that they focused on the wrong part of the HP books.
They really aren't suited to the standard action set, and should have really focused more on the school/classmate interactions. That's what made the books approachable to young teens. They could imagine Harry going through a bunch of boring magical classes because they were going through boring regular classes.
So many character interactions were lost in the films it was embarrassing. Like, when Mrs. Weasley was fighting Bellatrix at the end of DH, in the film, I felt like they hadn't earned her saying bitch. The book was able to just handle it so much better.

I won't be surprised to see a Netflix version of Harry Potter in the next decade to try and do better what the films fucked up.

>Netflix
>being around in a decade
hello mr hastings

Fine, some other sort of digital distributer then.
Maybe the Amazon Prime thing, or HBO. I'm just saying it will probably happen.

UK may have a much, much higher ratio of wizards-to-population than most South American countries.

Ilvermorny is odd. I don't know what's funnier, the fact that non-English speaking Mexico is in there, or that halfway across the world Australia and NZ are in there too. not that I am complaining, Ilvermorny is clearly where it's at. holy shit how can other wizarding schools even compete?

>american wizards

>harry potter
>good
no

>be Mexico
>excited to go to a wizarding school with USA, Canada and the like
>you get there
>you are insta-bullied
>USA pick on poor ol Mexico, because they are different
>"haha look at his skin!" yells USA
>everyone gathers in laughter, even Australia and NZ can be heard in the distance
>Mexico gets in the fetal position and begins crying
>"why am I even here?" Mexico asks himself
>suddenly he feels a presence over him
>it's Canada, looking all happy and gay and shit
>he helps Mexico up, and greets him politely
>Canada walks away
>Mexico thinks to himself that things will get better, USA will accept him eventually on Ilvermorny's quest to fuck Hogwarts and the South American shithole one
>"fuck everyone south of me, I am cool enough to be white"
>Mexico goes inside the school

im drunk and emotional rn

Fantastic Beasts?
There's no hype

>mexican and canadian guy show up for potion class next morning
>american magical shooting begins

>Californian wizards proceed to lead the campaign against high spell capacity assault wands

>Brazilian Wizarding School
>Uagandou School of Magic
AYY I BE ROLLIN' WID THE WIZADS AN SHEEIT

I wonder if Jewish wizards and arabs feel insulted that they have to travel to some African shithole.

I wonder if jews and goblins hate each others. They both want that shiny wizard money.

>Californian wizards proceed to lead the campaign for affirmative action in magic, demanding that more blacks, gays, trannies and even muggles be given preferential selection by the schools

I can actually see it happening.

Haiti and Mexico are already included, I don't think it would take much effort on their part.

>Mexico sharing with America and Canada not with south america.


THANKS J.K ROWLING