Scenes in movies that women can't even remotely begin to comprehend

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fuck...

I can remember watching Master & Commander with my girlfriend. I thought this meme was a joke, but wow it is true.

So I put it on and we start watching. 10 minutes in a glance over to her and to my surprise, she was still attentive. 5 minutes later though she is checking Facebook on her phone. I glance over again and see her take a snaptchat of the TV with the caption "This movie fucking sucksss". 30 minutes into the movie she decided to start paying attention, she asks me "So why are they still on a boat, haven't they reached their destination yet?". At this point I am a little upset, how can she be so ignorant? An hour and a half later she is asleep with drool coming from her mouth.

"Where is the horse and the rider?
Where is the horn that was blowing?
They have passed like rain on the mountains,
like wind in the meadow.
The days have gone down in the West,
behind the hills... into Shadow."

Woman here

I think they must be gay for each other

DEATH

I'm fairly confident now that women have a hard time understanding the male concept of honour.
One of my bests examples are the 47 Ronin (not a good film but a good example) where the girls amongst my circle of friends started discussing it during a boozing session in a club. They all agreed that it's stupid because the "good guys" die in the end and they didn't even slightly get it when we tried to explain them that this was actually a happy ending.
Another movie is girls don't get the whole fucking concept and they can't even imagine why guys like it.

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Woman here: That is true. If men are doing something together without a woman around they probably are gay.

LET THE HORN OF HELM HAMMERHAND SOUND IN THE DEEP ONE LAST TIME

>At that sound the bent shape of the king sprang suddenly erect. Tall and proud he seemed again; and rising in his stirrups he cried in a loud voice, more clear than any there had ever heard a mortal man achieve before:

>Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden! Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter! spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor!

>With that he seized a great horn from Guthláf his banner-bearer, and he blew such a blast upon it that it burst asunder. And straightway all the horns in the host were lifted up in music, and the blowing of the horns of Rohan in that hour was like a storm upon the plain and a thunder in the mountains. Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor! Suddenly the king cried to Snowmane and the horse sprang away. Behind him his banner blew in the wind, white horse upon a field of green, but he outpaced it. After him thundered the knights of his house, but he was ever before them. Éomer rode there, the white horsetail on his helm floating in his speed, and the front of the first éored roared like a breaker foaming to the shore, but Théoden could not be overtaken. Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borne up on Snowmane like a god of old, even as Oromë the Great in the battle of the Valar when the world was young. His golden shield was uncovered, and lo! it shone like an image of the Sun, and the grass flamed into green about the white feet of his steed. For morning came, morning and a wind from the sea; and darkness was removed, and the hosts of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City.

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I tried explaining the 47 Ronin, the bushido code, their violation of it etc. and she was dumbstruck. This was while watching Ronin, which she seemed to enjoy and I forgave her for not really seeing the connection.

Next week we watched Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters. I found myself feeling incredibly moved during the closing sunset only for her smartphone stained claw to snatch me by the penis in an attempt to initiate sex. I sat there in the moment, unable and uninterested in achieving an erection as she began to take me into her mouth.
Have you ever had your knob suckled to the tune of Runaway Horses? It's sobering. We separated within the week and I've been unable to find a good woman since.

>Those comments

Fuck this gay earth.

Makes my nipples go diamonds erry time.

I'm with you bro

wow

women are truly the niggers of gender.

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Most women really are this shit, not even a meme

Fucking hell, I need to read the books now. That was just brilliant.

youtube.com/watch?v=wEDNuuCoZYk

This is the perfect storm of themes women can't understand, you literally can't find a better example.

This entire movie