Sell me this pen

> I've got a check for $1000 here. You'll have to write your name and sign it tho.

...

That's a big pen

THIS

it costs a 6 bucks :^)

however! if you buy it with ___ and ___ it's only 5 bucks

What did he actually do that was illegal?

Gullible retards will always throw their money away.

When was the last time you used a pen?

Guaranteed returns to certain clients

Sell me this CIA

>lol fraud should be legal

fucking libertarians

you didn't answer the question

help me see the light bro

No, YOU sell THIS

That's a small guy

securities fraud
money laundering

that's two big ones right there, kike

That pen's not real. It only exists in your imagination. Wake up

The pen is not for sale, I won't sell it to you, it's too good.

it belonged to schmitty werberjaegermanjenson

Look if you buy this pen right now value is at a minimum. If you hold onto this pen its value will increase as it's the only pen which you will own. After owning the pen for a period of three months, according to my mathematical model, it will increase in value. You should then sell that pen to buy more pens. The value of pens never decrease but only increase and have long time return values. You ROI will be well within 200%. Pens are a safer investment than US treasury bonds.

Also I'll take a little off the top as payment for bringing such a wonderful investment. We'll both make money. You're not an idiot, are you?

sell me this filter

Why is Terrry Gilliam obsessed with ropes and pendulums? Why is Michael Bay obsessed with 360 shots? Why is Quentin Tarantino obsessed with food and feet?

>Why is Quentin Tarantino obsessed with food and feet

well that's easy

he's a fatass with a foot fetish

>lol fraud should be legal

fucking libertarians

Look up "pump and dump" schemes. Its basically what they were pulling.

The Wolf of Wall Street is so good at outing dirty jews.

Nope. The real him presents Leo in this scene.

>Dude libertarians are anarchists
Most classical liberals are teddy Roosevelt types you fucking idiot

to u

Break these cuffs.

>You're not an idiot, are you?
no I'm not. I'm in.

.... if I buy more pens from you can I make more money?

If you don't buy this pen then I'm going to jam it into your eye and skullfuck you with it.

YOU WILL BUY THIS PEN ON THE COUNT OF THREE, READY?

Whenever you write something down using this pen your subconscious mind will trigger a placebo effect by being reminded of this interaction which will trigger your confidence and make anything you write feel confident, assertive and intellectual all at once.

.

Why would I even try to sell this.

I don't know anything about pens and I've turned out fine and fit.

Ok, I've got a few subway gift cards in my pocket. If you buy this pen we can split a meal but I get the cookie and both diet cokes.

C'mon, man, my second best friend Brad is going through some hard times and the proceeds from this pen will go to his alimony.

Why would I ruin my own post like this?

It's not even funny anymore.

I guess I'll just have to cancel the rest of the interviews on my shitpost tour.

It's modern art,

Starting price 1million us

jesus christ this movie tried so hard to be goodfellas