Can anyone give a tl; dw version of TFA's review?

Prequels suck, ring theory is stupid, TFA is a gilb facsimile, and there wasn't enough black penis in white vagina.

>It's just some sequence some asshole made on his computer.

>I make reductive statements on the internet

starts the intro of saying he liked it but now he realises its crap

your webm prove its still shit

K I N O
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N
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First hour = Bitching about the prequels and explaining why the Star Wars Ring Theory is bullshit. Also, bitching about prequel apologists on the internet.

Last 45 minutes = Basically repeating everything Mike said in the TFA Half in the Bag. Also, adding in two minor criticisms: Disney's soulless marketing techniques, and Disney's cowardly refusal to have a love story between Finn and Rey.

Prequelbabbies BTFO
Prequelbabbies still mad

Finn should have grabbed Rey right in the pussy.

>It's just some sequence some asshole made on his computer. What's there to be excited about?

>He bought into the "it's all just CGI" meme
>He also thinks that if it was all just CGI, creating a 3D worldspace with a 2D interface isn't impressive
youtube.com/watch?v=toFOhKVouCg

I mean the prequels aren't good, but every time one of you jokers laughs miniatures off as being fake and gay, just because flying vehicles were added in, you're not only making an ass of yourself, but you're also congratulating the actual CGI artists, because apparently you can't tell the difference between the parts that are CGI and the parts that aren't.

Garbage

I dont understand how Mike enjoyed TFA.

He made the first part about ring theory a while ago and then threw in two other rush job parts to make this abomination of a Plinkett.

>Lucas is a hypocrite and a liar for selling Star Wars.
>the Ring Theory is bullshit
>Star Wars is a commercial product even more so now than before, emphasizing diversity and playing it safe with market studies
>Hollywood should be letting directors do what they want, rather than doing what is safe, which is how the first Star Wars was made
>as terrible as the prequels were at least they were original stories, not "soft remakes"
>the glaring problems with Episode VII are mostly just "where did this new empire get all their money and resources from? Shouldn't the "empire" be the ones who are outnumbered and scrambling to gain control of things?" and "wouldn't a story about Kylo turning to the dark side, and Luke going into hiding be more interesting than a remake of A New Hope?"

diversity is good.
let black man fuck your white

That was our main complaint as well

>Episode VII was decent, but they were too afraid to take any risks whatsoever.

They literally killed off the most popular character in the series, how is that not taking a risk?

Actually, what does that even mean, I hear that get thrown around a lot. It introduced new characters, new villains, new worlds. What did TFA do that was so much "safer" than the prequels or OT?

>they literally killed off the most popular character
It's just the death of the wise old man, from the hero's journey. It's no different from killing Obi-wan in A New Hope.

To sum it up

>why didnt rey sleep with the black guy?
>diversity in star wars is good but star trek did it first!
>some pointless padding about a ring theory
>10 minutes actually focused on the film

Disappointed he didn't call it out for the fucking rehash of new hope that it was with more soulless corporate string pulling.

> Cred Forums is THIS butthurt

Except that Obi-Wan hadn't been established as a world famous icon of pop culture in the first film.

Disney introduced lesser versions of preexisting characters and slightly reordered events pulled from the Original Trilogy. Except biggerer. Han's death wasn't anything surprising, it has been up in the air since TESB and it was immediately obvious that it was going to happen given the actor's age and the role he was playing. The most original element (Finn) is sorely wasted as a comic relief. The Force Awakens is poorly paced and poorly written fan service.

Killing Han Solo back when Harrison Ford was in his prime and still a movie star would be ballsy. Killing him when he's old and is not going to carry Star Wars franchise on his shoulders anymore is not.

Oh come on the reason jewjew didn't make finn fuck rey is because he knows the general movie audience would've been disgusted by it and mightve lost sales.

>people are retarded for considering ring theory, there's too many inconsistencies
>TFA is decent but took no chances
>Diversity is fine but isn't relevant to the Star Wars universe
>Finn's character was useless
>Disney pussied out by not having Rey kiss Finn

It was a decent review.

The complaint was that Disney claims to be diverse and tolerant but pussied out. Don't be retarded

>Diversity

I think a lot of people are confused, or coming in with their own preconceptions which tainted what they heard from Plinkett.

The simple thing is that he is fine with diversity, but there is a difference between organic diversity and focus group tested diversity for the sake of diversity.

It's hard to put a finger on where one kind of diversity ends and the other begins, but when the movie looks like a "college admissions pamphlet" you know that shit is calculated by Disney diversity experts.

remember that plinkett also called out lucas for shoehorning sam jackson into the prequels to pander to the "urban market"

>le Cred Forums boogeyman

But I'm being serious.

>Episode VII was decent
>It's just some sequence some asshole made on his computer.
Pick one.

It's not like it's not true. It's obvious the original role was not fitting at all for Jackson.

If you want a calm old black guy, you get Morgan Freeman or Lawrence Fishborne.

If you get SLJ, he had better be the rash, hotheaded Jedi that is a loose cannon.

>Can anyone give a tl; dw version of TFA's review?
It was Plinkett's Phantom Menace.

TFA was a bad movie and the fact he likes it is surprising