He has too much of his father in him

>implying that Rey isn't related to Sheev

All that blue milk made her deranged

>Padme serves Anakin blue milk in the prequels
HOLY POETRY

>He has too much of his father in him
No one says something like that without having personal experience of knowing someone.

Disney hasn't yet finished focus group testing that "fan theory" they put on the Internet.

They probably didn't know Anakin murdered a bunch of kids

They mention using clones instead of child soldiers raised from birth.

How could she know he was Vader if Lucas didn't know he was going to be Luke's father? Or did Lucas always intend for Vader to be Luke's father?

She was talking about his adventurous spirit and affinity for the force.

>"ugh i hate how they referenced things from the original trilogy!"
>"why didn't they reference more things from the prequels ugh it's like they're ignoring they existed!"

Yeah man, should have had a line where they say "remember Jar Jar Binks and Order 66 and sand and spinning (that's a good trick)" A+ four stars would watch again.

>tfw you just smoked some dank blue milk crystals and you're about to get your dik succ by Biggs

How long till the aids kills you faggot?

>tfw you realize Anders Breivik is the Vader of our time
Hmm. Really makes you think.

Do you guys think Anakin grew up to be such an edgy faggot because that flying blue Jew he worked for in the prequels diddled him?

>TFA
>Better in any way
I want this meme to end.

But I don't have AIDS and U'm straight and have a gf, user. I'm afraid you might be projecting your homoness on me. Please don't do that.

>>tfw you just smoked some dank blue milk crystals and you're about to get your dik succ by Biggs
No straight person would ever say that.

More projecting. Jeez user, maybe you should speak to a therapist about these feelings you're having.

Do you guys think on Friday nights Luke and the guys would get together, main line some blue milk and then go bullseye some Tusken Raider children?

Think about it womp rat sounds like a slur for some poor sand people.

>He thinks Luke was straight

And the prequels were good too huh you revisionist queer?

I believe it.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Resistance? It's basically the same thing as the Rebellion. I don't know why they did that, it seems sort of silly. Like the actions of a madman who has thrived solely on the works of others, yet remains hellbent on establishing an identity. Did I also mention they overthrew the Empire and have become the established governing body of the galaxy, rendering what little meaning behind the name "The Resistance" null and void? Oh well, "New Republic" wasn't quite as catchy I suppose. And you'll forget all about that bullshit when Rogue One comes out. I mean, did you see that trailer? I know it will be crap but I'm feigning optimism for a once beloved franchise that has had the life wrung out of it like a dishrag. Anyway, let's get to scraping your Aunt's bones off the driveway.

You think Luke ever walked in on Beru and Lars fucking? Do you think either of them ever walked in on Luke beating the meat?

Thanks for killing the thread reddit.

Thanks for giving me a laugh by crying like a bitch in your super serious Star Wars thread kiddo.

You guys think Vader's suit was filled with stale old cum from all the nocturnal emissions he had while thinking about Padme's sweet pussy?

Poetry.

Did Beru's really have some old junky starship sitting in their garage for 30+ years?

You guys ever wonder if Yaddle sometimes got motions to pass in the Jedi council by letting the other Jedi pound her tight green snatch or jerking them off with her sexy toes? I bet Ki Adi Mundi was really into feet.

Holy shit I can't tell if you faggots are being retarded on purpose. She's clearly talking about his since of adventure, and desire to see/do shit.

What kind of animal do you guys think the blue milk came from? What part of it do you think they were milking?

>be in long term relationship
>still think about her vagina, and jerk off to it
You virgin. You think about the girls you were with for a short time or never got with at all.

Wrong. I still think about my wife that died all the time when I jerk off and have a collection of pornos with chicks that look like her. Don't talk about shit you don't know about.

Except Vader loved Padme more than anything and he never showed any feelings for any other female in his entire existence. He was definitely dreaming about the good times and jizzing to them. When he saw Leia he probably squirted a huge load too.

>thinking about your dead wife in a sexual manner
Degenerate

I'm confused. Were they good friends or not?

'no'

I can't think about or perform sexually with anyone else since she died. It's just the way she fuckin goes sometimes boys. I told my doctor that it's been three years since I had sex because of that and she looked at me all sad and said it would get better eventually. I don't see it happening.

>not fucking your doctor

She was giving you the green light, bro.

Try a mental health professional as opposed to a doctor.

I came here for blue milkposting and all I got was feels.

I don't think so. She seems to just pity me. The drugs are nice though.

Already tried that for two years. Waste of time.

Sorry. I'll stop posting now. Back to having a fun thread.

You guys think that Luke ever got really depressed and sat on the edge of his bed with his lightsaber in his mouth with his finger on the switch as he cried but he just couldn't find the strength to hit it so he got up and put on his robes and went to work and was reckless but a good friend too instead?

Shut up JJ

...

He always knew it was going there. I firmly believe this. They didn't just cook this shit up between films.

Then why does Rey use Sheev's signature "forward thrust" technique extensively in the film?

Prequels = DEEP LORE

Why didn't Anakin assume he was a Jedi from his robes?

Because just like Sheev she has a big thick cock.

Cocks are made for thrusting. Sheev and Rey both have cocks. It fits.

It is obviously clear that the problem with the Star Wars franchise in general is that they rely on conveying an entire galactic storyline into a few hours of footage, with maybe 30 minutes at most of actual dialog, and maybe 5 minutes of dialog that has a meaningful relation to the story. So there you have it, Star Wars bases it's entire plot on a about 12 minutes of dialog (5 for the prequels, 5 for the original, and a rounded up 2 for TFA).

If only George had the fore-sight to make the original trilogy into a tv series.

The clear problem with Star Wars is that it's a mixture of both cloakshit and sandshit. It's a double dose of shit.

That would have meant foregoing all the groundbreaking SFX and creating a TV series featuring people on the same soundstage every week talking about interstellar diplomacy, with the occasional cheap space battle or silly location setting.

I wonder what that series would have looked like. I guess we'll never know.

Go back to crying about your dead wife cuck

Wow. That wasn't me but you're a real fucking piece of shit, kid.

Atheism

I'm much older than you

>it's better for it

But still miles away from good

That's nice. That only makes you making such a shitty fucking comment that much worse. You should be ashamed of yourself and I suggest you kill yourself you unlovable subhuman piece of shit.

>Beru, did I ever tell you that Anakin was a whiny little bitch who murdered a bunch of sand people on this planet? Then he killed a bunch of younglings? Oh yeah, take care of his child.

>he's just like his father

It's against my programming. I've asked people to help me do it but sadly they won't

I took a screenshot your post and labeled it 'autism.jpg'.

>Did I also mention they overthrew the Empire and have become the established governing body of the galaxy, rendering what little meaning behind the name "The Resistance" null and void? Oh well, "New Republic" wasn't quite as catchy I suppose

That's not even right

Try again, Obi-Wan

...

he was making it up you silly goose

It's still depressing desu

maybe you need to toughen up a bit

Breaking News: George Lucas is a hack who can't keep a story consistent

Should I get /fit/ or go on a diet

how old and how much do you weigh?

30 years old, 175 pounds, 5'5''

I think Aunt Beru looked much sexier as an incinerated skeleton.

Somebody explain the whole "old republic" thing to me

I dont want to use autismpedia

But they don't reference things from the original trilogy. They copied the story from it.

Her outfit always threw me off, it's like some denim shirt combo which is nowhere else to be seen.

You're not that bad user, If you can manage to not over eat and get in the habit of walking for an hour or 2 every day you shouldn't have trouble feeling better.

what are you even doing here?

I thought this was a SW thread

How dare she.

How new to star wars are you if you don't know what the old republic is?

Old Republic = 1,000 generations
Republic = 1,000 years

basically autists covered for George's fuck up by claiming they're two different things

>She knew he was Vader
No she didn't

Why not? You've got to have some explanation for showing up with a relatives baby, especially since they knew who his father was after all.

Unless Obi just sold him to them so he can get drunk at the cantina or something

>jedi are super powerful and basically control the galaxy
>sith are basically non existent
>force clearly biased towards jedi, not in balance at all
>lol let's train this boy who will bring balance to the force

>R2D2 is most important droid throughout the prequels, has worked with everyone from Anakin to Yoda
>was present when Luke and Leia were born
>Obi Wan knows him since episode 1
Forward to original trilogy
>lol don't remember owning a droid
>R2 doesn't explain anything, doesn't tell Luke that Leia is his sister, doesn't tell him anything about Anakin, doesn't tell 3po anything

>chewbacca goes from wookie leader to quirky sidekick of some smuggler

>yoda goes from powerful and wise leader to quirky alien who beats R2 with a stick to steal a flashlight
>pretends to not know R2 at all, R2 doesn't tell Luke that the little green shit is actually Yoda

Tbh, I wish they would remake the entire original trilogy AND the prequels with todays technology standards to get a more gritty tone and, most importantly, more consistency.

The galaxy is a huge place. Just going from the lore of the first movie- when Alec Guinness was a young man, the Jedi protected the peace, less than 40 years later even Death Star commanders do not believe the Jedi existed.
Aunt Beru is a provincial farmer's wife, you expect her to know about 20 dead kids from a 20 year old war millions of miles away?

To her, Anakin is like Napoleon, and she is in South America. She has Napoleon's son, and she knows Napoleon is a powerful general, but she doesn't know anyone he's killed, nor is she worried about being conquered by his empire. When she says Luke is like his father, she's saying he won't be satisfied with a humdrum life, not that she expects him to kill children.

It's the same planet, nigger.

sand '''''people''''' are not human, just like on earth. Also he only told Padme.

>R2 doesn't tell
You're assuming humans can understand astromechdroids droid without a translator.

I think he meant the younglings, not the tusken kids. The younglings were definitely not murdered on Tatooine.

The death star commanders believe jedi existed, but that they don't exist anymore and Vader is the last relic of that religion

>what is 3po
They have a literal human cyborg relations robot with them almost the entire time

Also Obi Wan etc seem to understand R2 just fine. R2 also posted some text to the x-wing interface while they were flying around.

They can get the general tone of things without a translator then along comes that cunt rey who can speak fluent droid for no reason.

>only told Padme
And Palpatine :^)

Banthas, and probably the tits

Maybe they got around to develop some auto translate thing you put in your ear

Thats garbage, disney star wars doesn't fit in with the other 6.

The other 6 don't really fit in with themselves either

"Last week on Star Tr..I mean Wars, damn why can't they get original names for all these stupid shows"

>Lol I don't remember owning a droid

He did own that red one but I don't think obi ever owned R2

>He did own that red one but I don't think obi ever owned R2
r4 was a tool he used on that mission, it's not like that was obi wans star fighter.

You can argue slight inconsistencies but tfa shit on everything that came before.

Yea he didn't own him but surely he must remember R2fuckingD2

hes not as smart as a protocol droid

Luke responds to R2's beeping many times, notable on Dagobah, in ways that imply he definitely understands what he's saying. Because the answers are very specific and sometimes he basically repeats what R2 said.

Wasn't it? I'm sure it's the same droid and starfighter that he used on the third film too

Well aside from the films being made first it's not like he would have gone "Oh yeah, R2, the droid that saved me multiple times, what a remarkable coincidence"

I remember one of the old EU books trying to pin that on force magic, instead of it just having grown up with more droids than people to talk to.

There was me, that is Luke, and my three droogs, that is Biggs, "Fixer" and Deak. And we sat in Toshe Station trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. Tosche Station sold milkplus, milk plus vellocet or Synthemesc or PowerConverter which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence. Our pockets were full of credits so there was no need on that score, but, as they say, credits aren't everything.

I don't see how it could be seeing as he got captured on Geonosis

Looks like I was wrong
R4-P17 was manufactured by Industrial Automaton some time prior to the Clone Wars.[3] When an assassination attempt on Naboo senator Padmé Amidala occurred on Coruscant, R4 accompanied Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi to Kamino and Geonosis to reveal the plot.[4]

During the final days of the Clone Wars, R4 joined Obi-Wan Kenobi once again aboard his Eta-2 Actis-class light interceptor in a battle above Coruscant. During the battle, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker approached Separatist general Grievous' flagship, the Invisible Hand, in an attempt to rescue the kidnapped Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. As the two Jedi neared the flagship they encountered attacks from Pistoeka sabotage droids; during the attack, R4's dome was torn apart by a buzz droid, ending her career.[2]
She was later replaced by R4-G9 as Kenobi's companion droid during his travel to the planet Utapau.[2]
Personality and traitsEdit
R4 had a female personality and showed bravery against Separatists.[

>she
>female personality
>personality

They're bleeps and bloops, what the hell.

He got captured but I guess he went back for it later

>random stormtrooper's face when he realizes he killed Vader's relatives in law

I just assumed the droid got wrecked when obi wan was blown off his feet in the holo message the others are watching,

This movie was made when George Lucas hadn't become drunk with influence and power and had to listen to other people in production.

I mean, if you've watched Cheers and Frasier go watch the character and tell me that they're the same person between both shows. In Cheers he knew football REALLY WELL and could even give you the box score on a baseball game. In Frasier he didn't even know what a first down or a 3-2 pitch count was.

His character change could only be explained by fucking brain damage or something.

What I'm saying is, older people have a lot of trouble staying constant in their writing and they'll eventually ignore established character traits. Writers will just let it happen so tha they can go home and sleep before 2:30.

The problem is that you think Star Wars is a documentary about a fictional universe

>TFA pretends that the prequels never happened
I wish we could pretend that TFA never happened as well.

Obiwan is a manipulative dick though, isn't he? Every word he says to the Skywalkers is a lie. He's only honest around the other jedi.
I think Obiwan is secretly racist against sand people.... (the Skywalkers are technically sand people as they're from a sand planet)

sweet fucking meme, they didn't. It has some of the same beats and general outline but it's not the same story. Who am I kidding, you didn't watch it.

The probably walked in on him beating the 'ol womp rat and joined in like all loving space parents should

Or fucking obi1. Was playing dumb

How did Luke make his green lightsaber? He didn't communicate with Obi Wan or even Yoda between Ep 5 and 6. How the fuck did he know how to make it and where to get those crystals for it and shit? And yet he managed to make an excellent quality lightsaber.

Meanwhile, that edgy sith lord could only manage to make that retarded crossbow or whatever the shit that was?

Yaddle

Yoda probably helped, I mean there's like a year between ep 5 and 6

Luke doesn't visit Yoda in the year between ESB and RotJ, nor did he talk to Obiwan.

I think the EU explanation is that he found some ancient documents about lightsaber crafting or he used the Force or something. It's said Jedi build their sabers in a trance like state when they're most connected to the Force.

kill yourself moron

This is what bothers me about the prequels.

Anakin and Owen should have known each other for a while. Probalby not actual brothers, "Skywalker" and "Lars" are obviously different names. But what if Owen was Luke's uncle through his MOTHER, right? What if Anakin and Luke and Leia's mother were childhood friends? What if Owen (and even Beru) knew him well?

And Beru (and Owen) knew about his adventurous spirit and need to leave home. So one day, Obi-Wan just dropped out of the sky, needed a pilot, and Anakin offered his services.

And Owen didn't approve, thought Anakin should stay, and not stick his nose in other people's business. But he went, and joined the Clone Wars. Maybe the twins' mother went with them to keep an eye on him.

Eventually, Anakin's ambitions overtook his common sense and he fell to the Dark Side. His kids went into hiding, his wife joined the Rebellion, and Vader killed her as a traitor.

And perhaps Owen blamed Obi-Wan. Were it not for Obi-Wan, Anakin wouldn't have left, and Owen's sister would not have left with him. She would have not gotten entangled in the Rebellion, and she would not have died.

Whether he knew about Vader or not, I think he still worried that Obi-Wan would fuel his need for adventure, and so lead Luke to his own demise (or the demise of others).

And that's why I don't think the prequels are canon.

In the clone wars they go into it, a robot voiced by david tennant tells kids how to make them

>Luke!
>Luke, wake up, this is important!
>Are you awake? Good. Listen:
>Rook Pryce a Human male smuggler based on the planet Wielu. He gained a reputation as being untrustworthy, that no one would sell anything to him. Shon Ti'Ja, another crime boss, even attempted to kill him. In 21 BBY Pryce was on Wielu while Obi-Wan Kenobi was chasing the criminal T'mott Zoat. Pryce tripped him and Kenobi captured Zoat. Pryce then offered to take Kenobi to Helleguth, Kenobi accepted because he had vowed to bring Zoat in as a padawan, by himself. But Pryce released Zoat after T'mott bribed him. Later followed Kenobi to Wielu's jungle, where Zoat had gone. Pryce said he owed Kenobi, and he beacame his guide. They tracked Zoat to Boss Traygura's base, where Pryce betrayed Kenobi and gave him to Boss Traygura, in exhange for becoming her personal smuggler. Pryce was captured when Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano rescued Kenobi.
>Have you memorized it all? Good. Now you are ready to face Vader.

fucking hell user this needs a trigger warning for my sides

samefag

Fucking Wookiepedia.

>Spend 30 years working on your own moisture farm with no one to tell you what to do.
>Scenic vistas, gorgeous sunrises and sunsets
>qt wife who steams veggies and blues milk for you
>Get to raise a son without having your wife's vag blown to shit

Did anyone in Star Wars have it better than Owen?

I'll bet you she was redpilled as fuck and was glad he destroyed that tusken camp if it was within a day's ride form their home. They also kidnapped the Smee who was also the old man's slave-wife and raped her repeatedly for weeks.

Yet Rebels is still cannon which ties into both TCW and the prequels.

>prequel/catoonshit logic

Who cares

"you know the jedi order was blown to shit, so here's anakins kid, which he was forbidden to have, anyway. BTW hes dead from wars and empire and shit."