ANAKIN, WAIT! SHEEV IS THE SITH LORD!

fuck you

George, calm down

They have other things to discuss in the film. Or the film just doesn't show them talking about it, but it doesn't mean they didn't talk about Ahsoka and stuff.
Don't be autistic my man.

Dooku was the wreckage brother of ROTS. It was all a part of the plan.

A SITH LORD?!

Our specialty

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Darth Maul? He was Sheev's apprentice before Dooku and Vader that used a double-bladed lightsaber. He fought against my master Qui-Gon on Naboo, and managed to kill him. Fortunately, even though I was still a Padawan I managed to cut him in half by taking advantage of the fact that he didn't know how to use the High Ground. However, it turned out that his hate somehow allowed him to survive getting cut in half and falling down a bottomless pit, and he somehow managed to escape from Naboo and become a cyborg spider on some other planet. Years later, during the Clone Wars, his brother Savage Opress found him and upgraded his cyborg legs. They went on a rampage across the Galaxy, trying to get revenge both on me and his former master Sheev. It's such a pity that he never told anyone that Sheev was a Sith Lord, that would have saved us a lot of trouble. They eventually took over Mandalore and killed the only woman I had ever loved right in front of me. After that I kind of lost track of him, not sure what became of him. I hope he's doing well, he was a good friend.

...

That looks like it'd be painful

I remember thinking this looked ridiculous even as a 13 year old prequel fanatic seeing the movie in theaters for the first time after 3 years of immense hype.

>Anakin looks in pain and anguish as he has a mild facial seizure and gnaws his teeth while blinking profusely for about 10 seconds as the camera pans closely to his face
>He finally utters the words "is this true!?!?"

>ANAKIN, WAI-
*head falls on ground*

>*force confusion* on Dooku

There. Done.

RLM loses again, kiddos.

For you

Why didn't Dookum just kill Annie instead of Force push him to safety when he had the chance?

Everything was Sheev's plan

Palpatine is behind it all.

>SHEEV IS THE TRAITO--AAAAAAAAAH!

>Sheev wincing at the godawful PS2 graphics.

Even the actors knew it was shit.

"Negotiations haven't started because my ass isn't here yet?.....How can that be true?"

>And what should we do about it?
>Storm his office with our weapons drawn and trying to execute him without a trial? That would just be silly and actually help him establish a firmer grasp on the senate.

IIRC, it's been recently implied that maul's going after Kenobi again.

The good friends will meet one last time

>Sheev is the shitlord.

Based Ian McDiarmid spent the whole movie chewing the scenery to try and inject some entertainment into things.

BUTT

He is without a doubt the best thing in the prequels.

Ahsoka was in a deleted scene in RotS

youtu.be/C-hFh35U3go?t=99
around the 1:40 mark

>Ahsoka was in a deleted scene in RotS
It's not Ahsoka and they literally say her name at 1:40 you dumb idiot
It's Shaak-Ti

trolled xD

Talk about awkward.

>the fire rises

CHEEKS

they'll probably include all of that in the next set of Special Editions, just wait and see.

>unarmed? sure, let me give you a hand

"Who the fuck is Sheev?"

>Obi Wan acts like he never fought Grevious before even though he has multiple times
This actually fucking triggers me.

>Grevious explains that Dooku trained him and shows his lihtsabers like it's the first time he gets to fight Obi Wan
I can't go back to RoTS without puking regularly while watching.

Dooku would not snitch on anyone. It's not in his character.

Palpatine's first name

I know that, but Ani doesn't.

Why didn't that guy on the left swing his sword in that moment? He had an opening. But instead he stood around like an idiot.

Regional Manager Darth Maul..at last he will be Lord of the Dance.

MacedWindow.jpg

Force projection or some shit Plinkett had to tell me about.

>even palpatine was cg

oh lord sweet jesus

>>Obi Wan acts like he never fought Grevious before even though he has multiple times

That's wrong. It's Anakin who's never met Greivous before Ep III. During the entire run of the Clone Wars cartoon, Anakin never meets Greivous because of this one line in the movie.

Do you even Star Wars dumb ass?

The force gives jedis minor precog, basically most attacks with a lightscaber just result in you dying right after and it makes the jedi's pussies

...

>Annie absolutely decimates Dookie while a Jedi while Ben gets BTFO
>Ben absolutely BTFOs a full super saiyan dark-side Annie after a 3 hour battle

How? Was it autism?

...

Windu is obviously terrible at everything that doesn't involve lightsabers.

...

this

But in that particular fight Sheev was the only enemy, if that Jedi killed him then there was no way he would die after cause the fucking fight would be over.

That show is basically EU fan fiction, that's why

See it's a weird thing because it's known for a fact that Lucas had already been planning the CW movie by the time RTS was in filming so he could have easily slipped in a reference if he wanted especially since Ahsoka was an OC on his part.

I guess in theory it just never came up during the scenes we see, and Obi-wan probably didn't want to bring it up during the final battle.

I thought Maul didn't know his true identity.

Ashoka is fanfiction from an extremely low quality children's show.

Obi-wan's defensive style worked in his favor against Anakin. Dooku was more technical and eventually broke through.

>Palpatine was canonically clouding the entire jedi council's mind over the course of 3 films
>Dooku would be a problem

It's still retarded though

>Savage Opress

>Anakin, did I ever tell you the story about Darth Insanious the Madman?

Yup

He was that powerful?

...

because your show is CGI bullshit for children.
This is the only show which was taken into account for ROTS :
youtube.com/watch?v=9WBY-C-VKTg

is it that time again?

100% canon, user.

You think thats bad

New cannon Star Wars comics have Luke fighting Vader before their encounter on Bespin.

These new fucks are ruining Star Wars.

>New cannon Star Wars comics have Luke fighting Vader before their encounter on Bespin.

But the first EU book in the 70s also did that.

>the EU somehow manages to be worse than the prequels

>Savage Opress
>Darth Icky
>Darth Insanius
>Bahd Gai

and then sheev kills him and anakin

>Bahd Gai
wat

One of Lucas' last contributions, along with his brothers "Ahnt Ahgonest" and "Baron Vill En".

>someone came up with this and at no point asked himself if this wasn't too ridiculous

Admiral Bonetopick?

Wtf? I thought it was just regular legs but four of them.

Oh are you talking about the only Kel Dorian commander of the Empire forces, Admiral Bontoo Picc?

...

Didn't he have an assistant, Dr. Ack-Ula?

>Bahd Gai

Bad Gay?

He doesn't actual leave his junkyard crazy man planet with these legs.

I think Savage Opress cuts his torso off

Bygg Aye.

for you

When was that established? If he could do that why didn't he do it to sam jackson when he was about to kill him?

it always gets me how he doesn't even spin and impale any of them; he just does that pointless spin, lands, carefully aims and then stabs one.
And at no point did the jedi do anything aside from raising their sabers into a more useless position than they were before.

>Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his father? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexter Jettster owned a 50s diner on Coruscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Windu killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.

Why was he cg? Palp was moving slow during that fight, I assumed it was cus ian was old but if he was cg make him faster.

...

Does this count as dubs?

>might I recommend
>the MUSTACHE TWIST?

>No reaction from Dooku
>Doesn't have saber out before landing
>Boba Fetts holster literally clipping before he sheathes

Jesus

Why would Anakin believe him though?

>He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding
>AKA your mother, Luke, she was Queen of Naboo for some time until she decided to step into Galactic senate instead. I remember that adventure well, when I tasked your father, who was still a young padawan at the time, with her protection on Naboo. I remember this line about "sand" he wanted to use on her to try to woo her, and I imagine it must have worked given the stories he told me thereafter of her attempts at seducing him with leather bondage outfits by firelight. That was just before he and your mother took off back here to Tattooine to try to save your grandmother who was held slave by sandniggers. Anakin made short work of them by killing their women and children.
>Ah but I've gotten sidetracked, yes your mother Padme was such a strong woman. Have I ever told you of how when you were born, she was such a powerful spirit that she killed herself through pure willpower to make her body stop living after your father left her? Truly a rolemodel like your sister who you'll meet shortly. And she was a good friend.

Doesn't matter, if you were doubled crossed and about to die would'nt you try anything to get back at them instead of nothing?

I'll never get tired of these.

How could that be possible? Maul was with Sheev on Coruscant.

>Luke, did I ever tell you that there was once a chick that I liked so much that if she had asked me to fuck I would have left the Jedi Order even if it was just a one-night stand? She was called Satine, the Duchess of Mandalore. Sadly, Darth Maul killed her because he was butthurt about me cutting him in half that one time, so I'm still a virgin. She was a good friend.

He never appeared to Maul without his hood, and kept him living separately.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about spinning? It was an aerial maneuver often used by your father in attempt to evade or repel attack. Not only would he do it in a spacefighter, but also with his own lightsaber. And it was a good trick.

Do "normal" Star Wars fans refer to Palpatine as Sheev or is it just Cred Forums?

I think it's just us.

For you

>tfw dooku really was a political idealist
>never actually wanted to be a sith was just using sheev to fix the republic because the jedi wouldn't listen
>in this moment he realizes his errors
>he stays silent because even though he failed he can see, at minimum, the republic will fall

Dooku is a man truly committed to the cause.

other way around retard

I nearly puked every time obi-wan fought grievous in tcw

Man what an awkward moment this would have been.

Idk if I count as Star Wars fan since I hate all the new Disney stuff but I refer to him as Sheev. I've had to explain to some people who I was talking about.

You are not a fan.

But how can I like both the EU and the Disney crap at the same time? I love the EU, especially the stupidest parts.

Luke, did I ever tell you about breasts? Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species and some reptomammals, and were normally a distinguishing feature of the female of the species. Males did have breasts, but they were far less developed than their female counterparts due to the sexual dimorphism.
Breasts are a good friends.

I like it all, I even enjoy the prequels.

I love the prequels as well, I just really hated Episode 7 and other new stuff.

Why does grievous act like it's the first time he and Obi-Wan have ever fought in the movie when they've battled many times in the cartoon?

high ground

I find tcw and Rebels refreshing, and I loved Ep 7.
But I guess the Star Wars universe, both canon and EU is a bit like Marmite.

>Luke, did i ever tell you you have a twin sister?

A bridge too far but still pretty funny.

Jeez. I never paid much attention to this until it became a meme... why the fuck didn't Ben tell Luke ANYTHING?

>Luke, holy shit, were did you get these droids? I used to know them personally.
>r2d2 saved my life multiple times. He was a good friend to me, your father and your mother.

Doubt it, seeing as we only started calling him Sheev after someone posted an image with his full name in it.

I wonder if Ben also told Luke about premarital sex and space stds. Tbh Luke's aunt and uncle didn't seem like the kind that would talk to their kid about sex ed.

Commander Nefarious
Captain I'mabadguy
Admiral Bonetopick

young good

Darth Antagonist

Luke, did I ever tell you about the times your father went out of his way to kill children whenever something made him angry?
He was a good friend.

this fucking thread

fighting can be funny like that, muhammad ali could beeat fraizer and foreman, but for some reason ken norton had his number everytime, despite being sparked by foreman in under 2 rounds

why didn't vader just choke luke

why would you choke your own son you monster

Choose the Force. Choose the Jedi. Choose a master. Choose the Council. Choose a fucking blue lightsaber. Choose protocol droids, R2 units and clone troopers. Choose Naboo, Coruscant and Tatooine. Choose fixed-interest credit payments to the Kaminoans. Choose a Corellian freighter that did the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs. Choose a Wookiee. Choose sneaking into the Death Star, deactivating a tractor beam, waving your lightsaber in Darth Vader's face. Choose turning into a blue ghost at the end of it all, disappearing into thin air, nothing more than an embarrassment to the whiny farmboy you trained on the way to Alderaan.

Choose your destiny. Choose the Force.

But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose the Dark Side. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got the high ground?

>jedi
>sith
>ever unarmed
the dude can fling lightning through the air at his fucking whim

He got the high ground.

Luke, did i ever tell you about tables? A table was a piece of furniture that served several purposes, such as being used as a place to eat. Conferences and conversations could be held over a table. Tables were usually accompanied by chairs. Tables were common household items throughout the galaxy.
Tables are a good friends.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Table
This wiki is a golden mine

The moral high ground?

Not from Anakin's point of view.

Lord Evilman
Lt. Islamicterroirst
Corporal Schoolshooter

JUST

Goodbye, Chewbacca, my dearest friend. Now I must leave in my gay little spaceship parked in the woods.

>Jango used his payment to hire a shapeshifter
>Shapeshifter used her payment to hire a Robot
>Robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs

Win

>"Who the fuck is Sheev"
>*slice head*

Dooku just sat there with that stupid look on his face. I like to believe Sheev was using the force to glue his tongue to the top of his mouth so he couldn't speak.

Why would Dooku sell out the Sith like that? He knows he'll be executed for his crimes and he lost his hands so he's helpless at that point. Might as well see to it that his ideology is able to continue.

Who is this semen demon

That scene looks horrible. But I sure couldn't tell back when I was 12.

>starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Table

Wasn't there a fuckehuge article about sex at some point? Now tit redirectes to Sexes and is about genders instead of the essays on fornication

Luke, did I ever tell you about my good friend? He was a good friend.

lmao
Maybe you can still find it. They used to have a section for troll articles, it was hard to read because they just put one after the other into a huge one article. Otherwise maybe in the history edit page? Sounds like a lot of work though.

Yeah too much effort but I'm sure it's around somewhere. Pages and pages of musings about sex and how to please space-women it was extremely graphic if I recall.

Lucas couldn't keep the prequels from contradicting the original trilogy, let alone five and a half seasons to tv episodes. You can argue about the quality of the prequel and clone wars material, but at the very least it should all mesh together if your goal is to create a cohesive fictional universe.

Lucas is some kind of actual idiot, thankfully he's an incredibly generous billionaire.

>but at the very least it should all mesh together if your goal is to create a cohesive fictional universe

The goal is to make a lot of money

This looks filler-tier

>Mace Windu vs the droid army
>That one guy with his clone space marines jumping between spaceships in orbit
>The chase between Grievous and the group of jedi on Coruscant
Always loved this whole series

I've never seen him in TCW, but I've always thought this concept art (or whatever) looks so fucking sick.

Don't let Cred Forums and Cred Forums lie to you the 3D shit is awful. The only good animated Star Wars is the Tartakovsky one and the boba fett part from the holiday special

>Hey Anakin, remember that weird creepy robot thing that killed your mother when you were born? He was a good friend

>oobah

What did it mean by this?

Coincidentally he was also the only actor from the originals to play the same role in the prequels. It's almost like he actually gave a shit while everyone else was just phoning it in.

It's "canon" not "cannon"

That post
Best post

Not a fan of this variation, it's missing the "She could have been a good friend in disguise for all we knew," and "Mace was a good friend, Boba was a bad friend" at the end

> enough fuel for a one way trip to Dagobah have I
>for Ok will I be
>snakes to fuck I have
>miss you I will

Don't Jedi have the ability to fly by using the force? Why didn't Mace Windu just fly to save his life?

>Elan Sleazebaggano
Also:
>figure doesn't come with death sticks
Will not buy.

Also doesn't say "Mace Window"

is this bait?

It's malpractice, then.

What about Anthony Daniels and that midget that did R2?

>so he could have easily slipped in a reference if he wanted especially since Ahsoka was an OC on his part.
Well, you see, if they had mentioned Ahsoka in the film people would start screaming "shit writing!", "who the fuck is ahsoka!?", "why wasn't that shit explained?!" and so on.

this can't be real.

I'll show you my cannon

*unzips dick*

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers? Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers were a jizz band founded by Evar Orbus, featuring Max Rebo, Sy Snootles, Droopy McCool, and Orbus himself. Their hits included "(That Joyous Night) I Ate My Mate".

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Evar_Orbus_and_His_Galactic_Jizz-Wailers

What's this parodying.

TCW is great. Much better than the prequels.

OT>Thrawn>NJO>TCW>LoTF>>>>>>Prequels

It's true. All of it. Savage Opress. The cyborg spider. They're real.

>Qui Gon, did I ever tell you that the negotiations were short?

Obi Wan is a cool guy.

Why was Qui-Gon Gin on the outs with the Jedi council? Is it because he kept pissing himself in public in broad daylight?

don't drink my gin you little shit

For you.

And me.

feel like watching some star wars now.

dubs chooses what I watch

he left his midichlorian injector rings lying around the senate building, a midichlorian-free zone

red letter media's holiday special discussion.

start here, each one is about 10 minutes longer than the last
youtube.com/watch?v=WSCm8yAxBr8&list=PLINl9l0igYjzIipxsD4Y59_Jjxe4N3pZo&index=1

That was quick

If someone who knows this show could make an "episode ranking" graphic like some autist(s) with bad taste do for Star Trek, that would be very handy.

Trainspotting, starring Obi-(e)Wan Kenobi.

youtube.com/watch?v=RCxgqHqakXc

kinda meant one of the movies

>retcon isn't mentioned in the movie
Look user, the sooner you realize the movies are for all intents and purposes their own universe the faster you will seem like a mildly intelligent person

Please

That filename killed me.

Yeah it would be super hard for a sith lord to escape while being held for trial. Would never happen.

Kek.

>kill me i'm already dead

Ah yes. And who could forget their vocalist J'ywz'gnk Kchhllbrxcstk Et'nrmdndlcvtbrx

Savage Opress? Really?

Phantom Menace

>when the deathsticks kick in

>Grievous can slaughter entire Jedi squadrons by doing his blender trick
>he gets killed by one blaster shot while he has the high ground on Obi-Wan

>not knowing that high ground is just a point of view

much to learn, young padawan

how did imperial walkers deal with the square cube law

There are at least 5 of those. its better to judge for yourself

yes yes also moralo eval,etc its star wars tradition and they are keeping it in new canon too

he has 2 legs.scorpion king look was only for 1 ep

>SHEEV IS THE TRAITOR AUGHUUGH

quick, I have to go, give me the jin. thus history was made

it should already be on the floor when his hand reaches down. also the fuck is that move, there is no force push down.

...

midichlorians

"with the force as my ally, Im never unarmed"

>Luke have I offered you one of my Order 66 Cookies? Described as "crunchy" and having a "delightful aftertaste," they were sold in bags of 66 by the Imperials next to a statue of Galactic Emperor Palpatine in Theed on Naboo during Empire Day in 1 ABY.

>Stormtrooper TK-555 was personally responsible for counting and packaging the cookies. He was a good friend

>Someone screencap this thread

God that ruins everyone of these. Why put that in there in big bold letters?

Its so fucking annoying

its in reverse

>this sounds fake
>google it
>its real

star wars is the worst fucking sci fi franchsie

WORST

Whatever that is, I bet you don't understand it properly.

>Read the books and comics bro

>Watch the tv series

>It saves star wars

My ass it does

no season 6? Does it have the ep where savage impaled a jedi on his horns?

>Whatever that is
its when bigger things are the more weight they have. its important for buildings and also why there is no Godzilla and non of the nazi super tanks worked well

it really does

>Luke, did I ever tell you about my old friend from the academy named Cuc' Kold? He was my best friend during my early youngling years. I ended up kissing his girlfriend so he turned to the dark side. I met him years later during one of my missions to Naboo where he led a band of gorillas and black gungans in an attempt to assassinate me but I defeated him by lighting the surrounding swamp gas on fire causing a massive explosion.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cuc_Kold

seriously

that series basically made Shaak Ti like my favorite character

>bullshit for children.
its has more plot than the 2D stuff.

>new extended blu-ray of Episode 3 has Anakin roaming the jedi temple drunk crying about his old padawan

would you watch it? of course they'd have to bring back Hayden

>I'LL TRY SPINNING, THAT'S A GOOD TRICK!

actually the new canon shows that despite leaving the order, she stayed in the army and was fighting darth maul on mandalore during 66

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

he a good boy

Ep 6 yoda adventures was cool. It was nice to see how he discovered dagobah + those creatures with the sad/happy/worried/neutral faces were badass

>also why there is no Godzilla

uhhhhhhh, what are dinosaurs for 500 alex?

>There is no force push down
But there is a force choke
Why not force implode someone's organs?

DUDE YOUR DAD BUILT ME LMAO

Tfw they were both made by Anakin. Sith Lord or not, at least he was reproductively successful

"Who's Sheev?"

*Slash*

"Hey Palp, do you know who Sheev is?"

"I'm afraid not, but we must hurry now!"

>leaving out the organa and mon mothma scene setting up the creation of the Rebellion
Oh drunk uncle George you crazy fucker

Thanks.

...

...

>It's real

10/10