What's your favorite cameo appearance by the next President of the United States?

He actually thinks his criminal is going to win instead

less delusional than you by far

What movies has Hillary Clinton even been in?

MY SHADOW'S THE ONLY ONE THAT WALKS BESIDE ME

being a meanie head isn't a crime you fucking CTR shill

kys and Make america great again

>trusting polls

How'd that work for Brexit

>if i dont like facts they dont exist and i make up my own instead

literally tumblr logic

Pussygate doesn't seem to be hurting Dahnald too much. The Wikileaks are starting to take accumulate. O'Keefe released more shit today implicating the Clinton campaign for deliberately provoking violence at Trump rallies. The absolute madman just might go all out on Wednesday.

...

if shes winning so much, then why does her campaign have to cheat and firebomb their opponent?

literally how can one guy be so cool

...

Did trump actually own that hotel at the time? It's a famous hotel overlooking Central Park right?

Does Cred Forums have no shame?

Trump bragged about them quite a bit during the primaries, I guess they're only right when you want them to be :^)

youtube.com/watch?v=TuesauNtqTU

youtube.com/watch?v=5NsrwH9I9vE

surprised they haven't brought up his WWE stint

>facts
>literally make up your own facts that the God Emperor has commited any crimes

Please just cause your gay black boyfriend said Trump is a criminal doesn't make it so

Making fun of you libcucks and invading your safe space isn't against the law

He is bad at almost everything and has been wealthy since birth. Even if he had one chance to win his opportunistic celeb shtick would stand no chance against a cold hearted politician like Hillary Clinton. He would be humiliated and totally debased on live television, in front of his wife and kids no less. He is totally, utterly, fully consumed by this terror. That is why he does not go "all in".

he overperformed polling in the primaries as well

no shame and no brains

Why did Billy bush get so much heat?
He did nothing wrong

didn't know macaulay culkin was running for office.

billy bush is a cuck

>He is bad at almost everything and has been wealthy since birth.
lmao, he's considerably added to his fortune and lives a life anyone would envy

meanwhile, you're a "nerd virgin" shilling for Clinton in a windowless room :)

KYS & MAGA
KEK FAGGOT

because if they were lenient with him it would undercut their outrage against Trump

so they sacrifice poor billy

talking about fugging girls is literally rape when it suits them

but hillary never apologizes for being a rape enabler

kek

>mfw trump got completely rekt by warren buffett about his tax returns

Only reason I'd vote for Trump if I was an Amerifat, is to see the second Civil War (and possibly World War 3) happen

Pic (a very long read) related

warren is a loser libcuck and isn't half the businessman or politician trump is

he made most his money controlling crooked pawns like obama and hillary

hillary is much more likely to start a war

even the lefties like jill stein think so

Goddamn Hillary Clinton is so motherfucking ugly, I don't know how anyone can stand to look at the TV with her on it. She is like a caricature from wartime propaganda, just absolutely disgusting.

I mean politicians (and people) aren't exactly handsome, or even average, but they at least look like normal human beings, not some weird puppet or a worm wearing a human disguise.

I once saw a video of her speaking, I nearly threw up. It was worse than watching 1 guy 1 jar, which I can at least wrap my head around. Clintons speech was like watching a car crash, but when the impact happens, each car just explodes with a tidal wave of blood.

What the fuck is up with her hair? Is there no one around her to say "Hey, why don't we go down to the homeless shelter and get this fucked up wad of shit you call a hairstyle sorted out? Ok Hillary , you ugly cunt" Jesus Christ.

Also, is she not American? I want to say he looks like a jew, but she looks more like she was born in an underground cavern of mole-people. Every inch of her skin is like the extra dark reddish skin of a baby's penis.

Holy fuck someone give her an Elephant Man mask or something so I can look at her without turning to shit-scented stone. God fucking damn. Her face looks like one of those prosthetic faces attached to sunglasses they give massive head wound victims. Cunt literally looks like a bear ate her goddamn face, and that is what the Obamacare could cobble together for her out of novelty rubber ears and breast implants.

Hillary Clinton, Jesus fucking Christ.

and she dresses like chairman mao

fucking weird

>libcucks try to smear Trump with the tax issue
>it's not very effective
>libcucks try to smear Trump with >muh rape culture
>it's not very effective

Sad!

There were like 13 polls. 5 showed it passing 4 not passing and the remaining were marginal, a toss up, either way. The polls in this case overwhelming point to a clinton landslide.

Clinton is an awful candidate but Trump is worse. Don't get me wrong, but at this point you are delusional if you still believe 'TRUMP LANDSLIDE SILENT MAJORITY LOOK AT HIS RALLIES THE GOVERNMENT IS FISH PEOPLE ALEX JONES'

and yet he still released his tax returns

fuck me thats frightening even if it isnt true

They've tried every lie in the book and couldn't make it stick

you literally CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP

Meanwhile you are on Cred Forums green texting.

In my dream last night.

I am not joking.

I was dreaming that I was in a public street and suddenly Trump showed up, casually walking while wearing a shirt, tie and suit. He was clutching his ear like he had an ear piece and was talking to someone.

I was too nervous to say anything.

>trumpfags so paranoid they already come up with excuses like vote rigging before the general election is even over
>trump is "alpha" yet gets butthurt over some dumb SNL skit

>multiple class action lawsuits
>multiple rape allegations
>No, hes totally gonna come out of these handful of lawsuits completely innocent...I just have a feeling in my retarded MAGA bones.

Trump is already crying that the general election is rigged and that Hillary is going to start WW3...and some of you think this man is gonna win

>actually believing any of those are legit

How much of a sheep are you

I bet you watch CNN 24/7

Trump isnt alpha by any means, he knows how to rustle peoples jimmies but he's not alpha

Based Hillary was great in between 2 ferns. Whens cucks episode? Oh wait
=^)

Forbes estimates that he's lost more money then he's independently gained, not counting the few hundred million he got on his father's deathbed. But what do they know about money, right? I bet they are all shills.

Tell me the truth, how depressed will you be after Clinton wins on election night?

goddamn you're a good little cuck, I'm so hard. you gotta prep the bull white boi, suck that bbc

>paranoid for vote rigging

you mean he thing that was actually proven? Just like hillary being sick which everyone denied?

meanwhile, you keep shilling the idea that Trump is a putin secret agent

youtube.com/watch?v=5IuJGHuIkzY

Butthurt or not. He's right.

SNL should have packed it in years ago.

Fuck. The last time I watched it was when HE was hosting. And he was great.

Literally EVERYONE is lying, trust me I browse Cred Forums 24/7

>"warren is a loser libcuck"
>richest man on planet
>one of the most successful American businessmen
>"not half the businessman Trump is"

Oh kiddo, thats retarded even by your own board's standards...

Your logic is folding in on itself.

>how much will I be surprised the prototypical corrupt politician that is an establishment candidate and has every corrupt media and corporate backing be elected president and continue the destruction of America

Gee, I'll rolling in tears m8

20 cents deposited into your account

2bh Obama is an alpha. He always keeps his cool.

>Trump is literally smearing himself
>its da big bad libruhs fault
Okay. I forgot that these class action lawsuits were all in my head.

There are at least 3 fucking lawsuits, all for various things. You cant be in this much denial and think that every single lawsuit is some sort of conspiracy to make your meme candidate look bad, when he does that himself you paranoid autist

>2bh Obama is an alpha

are you implying you, who regularly spends his free time shilling a candidate FOR FREE on a taiwanese pottery board, are somehow better than someone getting paid to do it?

>you mean he thing that was actually proven? Just like hillary being sick which everyone denied?
mate, republicans were claiming Hillary has advanced Parkinsons, repeated seizures, and was a step away from death. The fact that she had pneumonia and stumbled into a car, then appeared fine in all of her later media appearances doesn't validate the absurd extremes of that conspiracy
>meanwhile, you keep shilling the idea that Trump is a putin secret agent
yes, let's ignore information that the US state department has found and is acting on. Why should we trust some joke source like the US government, clearly Trump's word is better (except those times he claimed he was besties with Putin, those don't count)

>Goddamn Hillary Clinton is so motherfucking ugly,
Stopped reading right fucking here. I don't like Clinton, but she was a fine semen demen back in the day.

>Hillary is a criminal, despite not having committed any crimes, just because a bunch of butthurt Trump cultists say she is

Pretty sad tbqh

>except those times he claimed he was besties with Putin, those don't count
Source this sissy

Non American here but I have a question.

Why do you guys assume if Trump wins your media will stop spewing an agenda?
SJW's aren't just going to disappear, infact I could see them going into overdrive if he wins.

How do you not realize that you faggots wull spin this into some sort of conspiracy no matter what happens? You cant cry conspiracy when your cuck candidate retard losses a popular vote in a general election. Jesus fuck, Occam's Razor must be some foreign concept to some of you neets. "Destruction of America!!! REEEE", do you hear yourself?

>, let's ignore information that the US state department has found and is acting on.

you mean nothing? Way to move the goalpost though you gutless worm. Hillary had a history of passing out you cunt, while you faggots denied it all the time until it was finally caught on camera, and even then tried to shill the "s-she tripped!" meme

Hillary is sick, her campaign is rigging the election, her suppoters are more violent, and theres literally NOTHING to back up these fucking retarded claims that Trump is a secret KGB agents or whatever.

deal with it faggot

...

>respecting cultures during foreign relations makes you a beta
Yeah wtf, why didnt he just ride in on an eagle and shit on his face? Fucking cuck!

Return Of The Living Dead

>stumbled into a car
You mean dragged into a car, dumb little cuckie.

There will still be plenty of shitting on him, but won't be any propaganda trying to turn voters against him so it won't be quit as obnoxious as it is now.

How much of Trump's shriveled cock can you fit down your throat?

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Behi ʻazz dīnī wa'dall al-buġāh
Fa yā qawmī hubbu' li-darbi al-kumāh
Fa-ʻimā ḥayātun tasuru al-hudā
Wa-ʻima ma’matun yuġīṭ al-ʻadāh
Wa-ʻima ma’matun yuġīṭ al-ʻadāh

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Fa-qum yā akhaỳ li-darbi al-najāh
Li-damṣā sawyāan naṣudu al-ġuzāh
Wa-narfʻa majida wa-n‘ulỳ al-jibāh
Abat an tadinla li-ġaīri Al-Ilāhi
Abat an tadinla li-ġaīri Al-Ilāhi

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Ilỳ al-ḥaq hayā dʻaānā lawāh
Li-sāḥ ʻil-manāyā li-ḥarbi ʻaydāh
Fa-man māta minnā fidā ʻan ḥimāh
Bi-janāt khuldun sayaġdu' ʻazāh
Bi-janāt khuldun sayaġdu' ʻazāh

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm našīdu al-ʻabāh
Wa-darba al-qītali ṭarīqu al-ḥayāh
Fa-beīn aqtiḥāmi yubīd iṭ-ṭuġāh
Wa-kātīmu ṣawti jamīli ṣadāh

Ṣalīl' aṣ-ṣawarīm

If the word "cuck" was a vote for Trump, he would be winning

Unfortunately, it isn't, so he won't

this

>2bh Obama is an alpha

Why? It just proves people love Donald, it was the top PPV buys for wrestlemania at the time.

They're equals, you don't bow if you're an equal in Japanese culture you retard

>the memorial collectors' boxset of The Apprentice is available on his inauguration
>it's sold right before they announce there will be a new season in the White House
Damn I have to buy another set to complete the most important season

Sorry Ken-sama

Where´s mexico?

Down the wall to the left.

awww, is the little hillary shill angry because he realizes his entire argument is pure horseshit?

Not an argument faggot. Theres literally nothing to back up retarded claims about Trump being a russian agent and you are talking out of your ass

>suck Trumps dick constantly
>"n-no you da cuck"
>"MAGA MAGA MAGA"

Jesus fuck, I really want some of you to consider a noose, you are such pathetic backwater shills its pathetic

>wah the media is covering my candidate's rapid public deterioration fucking propaganda why are they covering rape allegations against a major party candidate

What kind of mental gymnastics do you have to perform to get to this state of mind?

He's an equal to Abe not Akihito.

Ken-sama died protecting nips from the tsunami. Have some respect for the dead.

>I dont understand Japanese custom
You fucking retard you bow as a sign of respect to any person in a position of power or authority, he bowed back. You know literally nothing of their culture.

I'm agreeing with you. Us Hillary supporters need to show the Drumpf supporters they're retarded. There is nothing wrong with being a cuck. I am proudly a cuck who preps my wife's black bulls and am also a proud Hillary supporter. Personally I am all for taking back our word "cuck" and owning it.

With the exception of Iowa Caucus.

Im not that user retard and I'm not voting for Hillary

trumpcucks on pooicide watch

>trump working with a black guy

DROPPED

Every president is a cuck for the Saudis. The Obamas actually pissed them off when Michelle didn't cover her hair on their visit.

Im not a Hillary supporter and that doesnt change the absolute shilling these Trumpfags do. You may as well just make him your God now.

>bringing up Michelle

Obama got cucked by Bush

Hillary winning will signify the beginning of the end times. The people wilfully handing over executive power of their country to the embodiment of "THE MAN" all because of some icky rhetoric. People say this "muh faith in humanity" shit all the time but I will seriously lose it if you retards vote her in

At least we'll get the excitement of war with Russia out of it I guess

What excuses will Cred Forums use if Trump loses

will it be

>I WAS ONLY PRETENDING

or

>RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED

If Trump was a negro he would be a god, but sadly his little white dick is too teeny tiny for my wife. Well I hope you will support Hillary. Us cucks need to stick together, especially with the Drumpf bigots about.

I'm an Alpha male Cred Forums.

And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm fucking her.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

The Little Rascals movie.

>The Republicans have spent the past 30 years painting Hillary Clinton as the devil in the flesh
>this was finally the year that the GOP gets to run against her
>they had 16 candidates all lined up and ready to take down Hillary
>now a giant orange incompetent reality TV show host has usurped their primary and is going to hand her the White House on a silver platter
>in the process, actual serious GOP politicians are having their careers ruined by associating with Trump

Maybe the Republicans shouldn't have nominated such a bad candidate that people would rather vote for Hillary

ur mom

>added to his fortune

Lol. If Trump did nothing but take the $200 mil he inherited back in '78 and invest it in a market indexed fund he'd be worth about $12 billion today. Instead he claims to be worth about $4 billion and even that is generous. Takes a special kind of incompetence to do that.

Let's make things perfectly clear.

No nation can transcend the United States of America armed forces when it comes to modern tactical warfare. The combined capabilities and performance of USofA weapons systems are unmatched throughout the world, ensuring that our military forces have the advantage over any adversary or contingency.

No China isn't going row over on its one antique aircraft carrier. There is no force of any consequence could make it to our mainland without mass casualties. Debt? Any attempt to use U.S. Treasury securities as a coercive tool would have limited effect and likely would do more harm to China than to the United States. The major bulk of US debt is with Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Citibank, Bank of America. Not outside the borders of the USA.

Missiles would come down with our integrated layered ballistic missile defense system, that includes sea, ground, air/space elements, capable of intercepting any threat in the boost, mid-course or terminal phases of flight. What now?

If someone started a conflict with us that would pose a threat greater than a Chinese firecracker, we would mobilize our armed forces to a base nearest the conflict and establish a command center. During this time there would be drone activity in your airspace the likes of which God has never seen. Once our intelligence was compiled, we would behead your government, strike perceived threats and disable your infrastructure. If this didn't cool your jets and open a line of communication of diplomatic resolution, we would freeze your monetary assets globally, and cram sanctions so far up your ass, you couldn't wait to cry Uncle Sam.

We won. Your world is going to change radically over the next twenty years and we are the keepers of this planet and the managers of your Democracy. So be prepared. The best thing you can do is try to stockpile weapons cause local guerrilla warfare is all you will have left.

We are America and we are AMERICANS. God Bless.

I don't fuck girls I fuck grown men for humiliation

Only way hillary is winning is by rigging the elections. Oh and btw if hillary wins ww3 starts.

I dont know why you keep memeing at me you stupid faggot, I dont support Hillaty

no you're not, you tried to fuck a girl by buying her shit from a mattress store, failed, then bitched about it to your mates, then apologized for it 10 years later lmao

This. Polling for Brexit went from 48-58%, yet autists always use it to say that the polling was wrong. It's pretty sad.

Don't bother

These cucks are content with starting WW3 if that meaniebeenie doesn't get elected and hurt their libcuck feelings

I'm just saying that us cucks need to stick together and support the only candidate that supports diversity in the family home.

Is this taken from a transcript at the Nuremberg Rallies and just edited to say America and not Germany?

Nice shilling tho, mate.

...

tell me about michael, why does he cut his face?

If he was alpha, he wouldnt have to resort to raping women.

here's how i interpret this: Bill Hitchert, Jon Callanan and Lori Petrosino were facebook friends (prolly IRL friends as well). One day Bill Hitchert posted the Banana image. Maybe he got some response, maybe not. Maybe people commented on the image and he was really proud of his finding. Maybe no one commented and he let it go. I think he got some feedback and he was proud of himself, in a pleb way. Then, one day, perhaps not too long after, Jon Callanan posts the same banana image. I don't know if it was intentional or not. Perhaps he had a beef with Bill Hitchert, perhaps he was just trolling Bill, perhaps he was just as a moron as Bill (they are friends, after all). Bill, upon seeing that, not sure what Jon was up to, tries to fake a laugh and asks where did Jon find it (hey Jon "ha-ha", where did you find this ?). Jon, who prolly knew what he was doing, says, oh, just somewhere. Then adds sarcastically. Nice of you to join us. It's possible that Bill was ignoring Jon, and that Jon did it to bait Bill. Bill, then, passively-agressively says the famous "i really (3x) like this image", as if saying (yeah, I, it was me, before, who posted that image, scumbag) Jon, then replies with his famous: save it, it's yours, which, of course, means "yes, I know you posted, i stoled, suck my dick". Then Lori, who was just passing by, says: "wow, this is funny" Bill, then being the one who posted first, of course, says "thank you, you should thank me, I was the one who introduce the image to this faggot" And that was the story

...

Trump never inherited 200 million in 78. Keep crying sissy

Maybe, unfortunately the Republicans don't rig their primaries so it wasn't really up to them. That said, Trump is a fantastic candidate. Hillary herself said in private that more people like Trump should run for president due to their invaluable experience and talent. The only thing that makes him a "bad" candidate is the american peoples susceptibility to media brainwashing. Very sad

Why do pictures of pathetic losers make you guys feel better about yourselves? The only reaction I have to these pictures is absolute disgust, a feeling of wanting to punch the motherfucker in the face and telling him to fix his fucking shit. Lose some weight, get more hobbies than just your few introverted ones that we all know is an excuse to not come out of that little faggoty protective shell you've got yourself in. Get a fucking job, actually talk to women, be their friend before automatically assuming "Either I'm gonna get some or she can fuck off." It's okay to have female friends that are just your friends, and in most cases strong friendships with girls improve your chances of being laid by one of their female friends.. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Are they so pathetic that they spend all of their effort waiting for "the one" instead of bettering themselves and enjoying life in the process?

I hope these "betas" as you like to call them either man the fuck up or an hero soon, cause i'm sick of these fags complaining about how bad their life is. Rage goes in all fields..

>ww3!!!
>its all rigged if he loses!!!

Please go away already

...

Even Jill Stein realizes Hillary is the worst choice

youtube.com/watch?v=Krn3Vqrfl8Q

>Why do pictures of pathetic losers make you guys feel better about yourselves?
Because it reminds me that at least I'm not a rapist?

Trump is actually a Democrat plant for Hillary to win. Trump has consistently praised Hillary before and even donated to her foundation. Screencap this post.

My girlfriend just put me in the friendzone. Literally an hour ago. She said she just wanted to be friends.

We just signed a one year lease for a new apartment two weeks ago. After we finally got everything moved in and situated, we met our neighbors and went to a few parties we were invited to. She started spending a lot of time with the girls that live in the apartment across the hall. She spent the night over there last night and tonight was the first time I had seen her since then. When she saw me in the corridor, a weird facial expression formed on her face and she grab my hand and dragged me into our apartment. She said that we needed to talk. She told me to sit on the couch and then she sat down next to me. She told me how much she loved me and that I've been a really good boyfriend, but she said something happened last night and she can't deny that it happened. Apparently, one of the girls across the hallway has a brother named Steven. She and Steven spent a lot of time talking last night and really hit it off.

I started to get really mad. I interrupted her, and asked, "Did you fuck him?
She said, "No, but I'm going to."

I was speechless. After a few seconds of silence, she told me that she slept with him on the foldout couch that night but swears they didn't do anything sexual. She claims that they just talked all night. She kept going on and on about how amazing Steven is and how smart he is and how attracted to him she felt. She said she was really tempted to fuck him and was proud of herself for not caving to the temptation. She wanted to talk to me first.

"I have too much respect for you to cheat on you, user. I wanted to break up with you before I have sex with him, so that we can still be friends."

She's over there right now and he's with her. What am I supposed to do?

He's so alpha he can rape women and they won't say no. It's unbelievable

I was going to say something along that line

...

Who are you talking too?

I need feminism because i'm white, middle-class and have no real problems in life, so I feel the need to manufacture them from the limited social interaction I feel. I live in a free country with no real oppressors, so I have to manufacture that too, creating a mythical patriarch that I rebel against in just as mythical a fashion because then I can feel like i'm doing something for people without having to lift a finger. I live in safety, comfort and security, so I am disconnected from real women's rights in countries where taking off the cloth bag I live in will get me beaten to death. Instead, I pretend that the merest social or physical action, real or perceived, is akin to rape. Setting up such petty interactions as 'rape' lets me feel prejudiced against all the time, just like my sisters in Fallujah. I'm not in any real trouble, and I never will be, but I FEEL it, and that, to me, is what matters.

I'm worried about Hillary's policy towards Russia but Trump wants to give the Saudis nukes.

True, Assange is also a democrat plant. Their plan is to intentionally expose their own corruption because oh wait that's retarded

Are you having a fucking stroke?

>people are so mad at Hillary they're talking about insurrection
>Trump, Wikileaks, and O'Keefe are exposing massive corruption related to the Clintons
>Hillary will be incapable of doing anything and will be the most hated POTUS in US history the very day she takes office

Great conspiracy, my man.

"I met Mike and Jay at a con a while ago, I went with my girlfriend. When we approached them Mike looked at me then at my girlfriend and said "The fuck you doing with this stupid cunt? Get with this dick or get raped you whore.", I was completely shocked and didn't know if he was joking so I stood in silence just not sure of what to say. Then a voice was heard from behind him "Oh Mike you found another goofball?", "Yeah Jay, this one looks like a complete dick head, his girlfriend is pretty banging though, I'd fuck her asshole", "Oh yeah, maybe we should fill his girlfriend ass with goofballs so she'd know how much of a goofball he is". Right at that moment Mike jumped on my girlfriend and pulled her pants down, I tried to stop him but Jay jumped on me and held me down he started whispering in my ear "She's going to get the goofballs and you aint going to do nothing about it!", I watched on in horror as my girlfriend stared at me in the eyes as Mike undressed her and rammed his fingers up her ass, she was trying to scream but Mike just kept pushing her head down. Mike looked at me and mouthed the word "Goofball", It was like a silent movie, I watched as Mile then proceeded to pull out his testicles and forcibly push them into her anus with his hands. Jay who was still holding me down started to squeal into my ear "She's getting the goofballs", he started to twist my nipple as far as it could go, and I could feel blood trickling from it onto my shirt, I felt what I can assume was Jays boner pushing into my back... I blacked out.

youtube.com/watch?v=Twbm0gQMVdk

BLEACHED

I WISH THAT I COULD TURN BACK THE TIME

>Sexual assaulters share tips with each other

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

Hi, can you please edit your post to remove that homophobic slur?

There was literally no reason to use it in the context of this thread. It wasn't funny or clever or interesting, you were just being edgy and offensive for no reason. You don't need to try so hard to fit in, you don't need to pretend to be racist or homophobic just because you're posting on Cred Forums. No one knows or cares that you've only been here a short while. Just relax and be yourself.

Thanks in advance.

really charges my lazor

Why? Trump was never gonna actually win, only tinfoil faggots, teenagers and the legit uneducated believed he was gonna win.

>cnn viewership polls
Oh ok.

Rerro Fraggots,

Mry name is Scrooby, rand I hrate every sringle one of you. Arll of roo are frat, retarded, ro-rives roo sprend revery second rof their day rooking rat stupid rass prictures. Roo rar reverything brad rin the rorld. Ronestly, rave rany of roo rever grotten any prussy? Ri mean, Ri guess rit's frun making frun rof preople brecause of rour rown rinsecurities, brut roo rall trake tro ra whrole rew revel. Rhis ris reven wrorse rhan rerking roff tro pictures ron fracebook.

Ron't be ra stranger. Rust rhit re rith rour brest shrot. Ri'm pretty mruch perfect. Ri was rhe read of mry rown shrow, and frucked rover ghrosts. Rhat sprorts dro roo pray, rother rhan "jrack roff tro raked rawn jrapanese preople"? Ri ralso gret scooby shnacks, rand hrave ra branging hrot grirlfriend (Shre just threw me shome schrooby shnacks; Shrit ras RHO rhash). Roo rare rall raggots whro shrould jrust rhill roorshelves. Rhanks fror ristening.

Ric Rhelated: Rit's rhe rand mry ritch

>based on an average of polls

Jill Stein is an antivax nutcase. Plus the Greens are only able to get votes by siphoning off the Dems, so it's not like she's going to be jerking Hillary off.

he bowed too low though. if you bow that low it's essentially a sign of submission.

mind you, I doubt he did it intentionally

Michael Jackson and the little witchhunt they did on him proved no evidence and he was found innocent, sure he was an odd guy, but I truly believe that he didnt touch those kids and that this is one of the rare occasions of exploiting a rape allegation for money

>
kek

>tfw former Rand Paul supporter
Justice Never Sleeps bros
But if Hillary wins, it's gonna do some overtime

>that tiny blip of red

thats pretty desu embarrassing

No, he didnt do that intentionally, take the fucking tin foil hat off your retarded head. It looks like he bows low because oh the height difference.

Really made me think tho. Do you also think hes a Muslim reptillian illuminati?

I didn't want to say edgy but now I really feel like I have to. Put yourself in her edgy for just one second:

How would you like it if someone had the whole edgy after you? Posting edgy pics and edgy videos all over you friends and family's edgy facebook pages. Giving out your edgy address, phone number, and edgy?

It doesn't feel very edgy does it. Pretty edgy right? Stop right now edgy. Going along with the edgy doesn't make you edgy. It only makes you edgy. You can be edgy all on your own if you do the right edgy. That's what makes you an edgy person.

This isn't being edgy. You're not edgy. Grow a pair and edgy what you're doing now. It will make you a edgy person in the longrun and you'll edgy me later.

Not him but Obama is undeniably a Muslim

Yes, because shes gonna mastermind rigging the entire popular vote....right. Thats why Trump is losing, its all a big bad libruh conspiracy. Of course!

Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit.

Yes he did...are you stupid? His father left him an inheritance of 200 million when he died in that year..

>reading comprehension

>the Republicans don't rig their primaries
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Nobody's talking about back in the day, though. Nowadays she looks like a fucking ghoul.

What will happen to Cred Forums when Trump loses? Will they implosion be contained or will it take out other boards with them?

youtube.com/watch?v=8qRZvlZZ0DY

TO MAKE IT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT FOR US

>Jill Stein is an antivax nutcase.
No, she isnt. This meme is getting old, its been debunked for fucking years, mate

Let’s be reasonable and logical, and face up to facts. Women aren’t human; they’re not even like monkeys or orangutans. Those middle-headed, pea-brained, waste-your-money liberals might want to brainwash you into thinking that girls are good for something other than sucking cock, but you and I and every other sensible man knows better. These sluts were put on Earth to steal your money; be whining, complaining and arrogant; and to serve as reasonably comfortable holsters for your erections when one is aroused by the call of nature.

First off, scientific research has it that women just aren’t the same as men. They don’t like things like camera’s or computers or state-of-the-art stereo’s, simply because the higher centers of their brains aren’t developed as well as a man’s. Furthermore, according to a very fine article in The National Enquirer, it’s been proven that women aren’t as smart as men. It takes real guts to admit it, but women are mindless creatures….Don’t let those detestable, ugly, disgusting, sour-pussed lesbian diesel-dyke Women’s Libbers fool you, along with their cotillions of homo yes-men Women are most happy when they are serving their twins gods of Mammon and King Cock…

Men work hard, make money, grind the wheels of business, only to fall victim to early deaths dealt out by the insane caprices of vengeful sluts…They should be rounded up in a pig pen with pigs and fucked with sticks and forced to eat filthy offal, and maybe then they would appreciate a fine figure of a man who wants to own and take care of them, even if he is perhaps a wee bit nervous and high-strung and suspicious of some people’s motives….

They'll piss and moan, but they're too chickenshit to actually do anything about it

No hes not, Alex.

>Trump is a fantastic candidate
Please, share your delusions with us.

I spend all day on Cred Forums breaking down people's posts, intellectually dissecting arguments, and pointing out logical fallacies to the point where the other party, especially when it's terrible trolls like this, goes into an autismal rage of repetitive, parroted responses.

Like most people here, I've become hardened to any and all trolling, simply finding pleasure in ruining the fun for others when I deem them terrible trolls.

What the fuck are you saying.

He would have made more by investing his money, that's what a shit business man he is.

What we perceive as reality is a process that involves our consciousness. An "external" reality, if it existed, would by definition have to exist in space. But this is meaningless, because space and time are not absolute realities but rather tools of the human and animal mind. Our external and internal perceptions are inextricably intertwined. They are different sides of the same coin and cannot be divorced from one another. Behavior of subatomic particles, indeed all particles and objects, are inextricably linked to the presence of an observer. Without the presence of a conscious observer, they at best exist in an undetermined state of probability waves. Without consciousness, "matter" dwells in an undetermined state of probability. Any universe that could have preceded consciousness only existed in a probability state. The universe is fine-tuned for life, which makes perfect sense as life creates the universe, not the other way around. The "universe" is simply the complete spatio-temporal logic of the self. Time does not have a real existence outside of animal-sense perception. It is the process by which we perceive changes in the universe. Space, like time, is not an object or a thing. Space is another form of our animal understanding and does not have an independent reality. We carry space and time around with us like turtles with shells. Thus, there is no absolute self-existing matrix in which physical events occur independent of life

...

Im convinced you are having a stroke.

I dunno, I expect to see a couple shootings at least

What I would give to kidnap a famous midget and make his life a living hell. I would force him to dress up in elf and leprechaun outfits and subject him to pure awfulness and humiliation. just terrible degradation and shameful acts. it would be so easy to break his spirit and drive him to suicide, but I wouldn't let him do it. if I could train a dog to rape on command then I would totally do that as well. a really big dog like a mastiff. he would be so completely and utterly powerless to stop it, not to mention terrified. a big ass dog is even scary and life-threatening to a normal human but to a midget? might as well be a dragon. I'd keep him in a cell and what's more is that I would actually place to key inside with him but put it in a high place. not extremely high but just ever so slightly out of reach. it would drive him mad. I would dress him like a baby and force feed him 99 cent store baby food. I'd also pick him up like a child and toss him from one corner to the next. I'd grab him by one leg and swing him as hard and as fast as I could then hurl him to see how far he goes. I'd rent one of those giant inflatable bounce houses and body slam him all day until my arms got tired. I'd hold him down with 1 hand and slowly stick things up his butt just to see him squirm. I would stick him in dryers and turn them on and leave him in there for long periods of time. I'd force him to fight other midgets to the death. just so many things I would do.

And demon possessed, and responsible for the liberal conspiracy that is hurricanes.

Yeah, yeah, we get it.

Cred Forums will get fucking destroyed.

all the boards are tired of the Cred Forums spam in their threads. everyone will have a field day come november 9. nonestop I TOLD YOU SO screenshots spamming fuck everyboard that annoyed will Cred Forums will take a piss on them, gangbang galore. everyone will remind them that their meme candidate got destroyed and they will swallow cock and balls for it

it will be the Cred Forums cuckening 2.0

Yes I misread it a bit, my bad. My point still stands, it only looks like hes bowing too liw. Obama is fucking tall.

She's not even that bad looking, her personality is more of a turnoff

Hopefully go full sperg enough to have their board banned, causing them to systematically hang themselves

>Ohio is blue depsite Trump having a 3 point lead in a poll that oversamples democrats
lol

Hmm, I wonder if a national referendum in another country about leaving an economic union might be more difficult to poll accurately than the routine presidential elections in the U.S.

Say what happened with the polls in 2012 ?

She was fucking qt back in the day of course now she's old and wicked witch-tier

>all the boards are tired of the Cred Forums spa

Not really, you plebbitors complain and bitch and piss and moan and whine about them constantly which not only invites it but actually keeps the threads bumped. Not surprising you faggot fucks can't comprehend the concept of not feeding the trolls

>literally a post from
kek

...

keep the polls coming i want trumpette tears

Hey newfags,

My name is oldfag, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are cancerous, spaming, underage shits who spend every second of their day laughing at stupid ass copypasta. You are everything bad on Cred Forums. Honestly, have any of you ever made a triforce? I mean, I guess it's fun going on risk threads because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than laughing at pictures from 9fag.

Don't be a lurker. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was here in the 90’s, and started so many memes. What contributions have you made, other than rolling in fap roulette threads? I also get mad GETS, and make a banging trifoce (I just made one; Shit was SO geometric). You are all newfags who should just ban yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my triforce

>the routine presidential elections in the U.S.
You do realize there is nothing routine about this election, right?

Only thing they'll shoot is their load after jerking it to interracial porn.

see you on november 9 Cred Forumstard hopefully you'll do the right thing and aim at the base of your skull. remember at the base not at the temple ok?

>tfw too smart not to be centrist
>tfw laughing at all of you

This makes me KEK so hard.

I'm going to be 100% honest... I find that little freak disgusting and it's almost offensive that they allow it to live. If it were legal to hunt them, I would. If Obama and whoever else needed said to me, "Hey, Max, go kill that progeria monster, you have absolute impunity". Then I would not hesitate. I would bash its fucking head against the wall and scatter the brains. I would snap those little limbs and throw them into a garbage bag for pigfeed.

Really fucking disgusting that they let it live. If they detected this before birth, then they are really shit for not aborting it. I'd have rammed my fist up the woman's cunt and ripped the deformity out myself, 100 feminazis could not stop me. Fucking little retard looks like the Gray from Deus Ex.

>Feild

*grabs you by the pussy* back the fuck off?!??

They really get under your skin huh?

Fred Trump was worth less than 200 mil at the height of his career and had 5 kids to distribute it among. All of the other Trump kids turned into burnouts so I don't see a correlation.

Also the whole stock market thing is fucking retarded. It's like asking why every millionaire isn't a billionaire, why every trader doesn't own a hedge fund with billions under management. Anyone invested in 78 would have to weather Black Monday, the dotcom bust, and the 08 crisis...timing is everything. In a 6 month or so window between 2000-2001, you could either have 50% returns or 200% returns depending on how you timed your investment.

But let me make this easier for you: if you're so confident in the market's ability to shit out money, and you're dedicated enough to invest every penny and eat beans out of a can for 30 years be my guest and beg everyone you know for a line of credit and dump it all in index funds

>very sad

You type a lot like... Mr. Trump?

Self-inflicted gunshots to the head don't technically count as a "shooting"

Oh, and another thing. I hate how they encourage it to try and be happy and pretend it lives a normal life. Fucking monster just shoves its face into the camera like "wuhs this? GIRL POWER" yeah, no. I hate this shit, you can't empower this little retard. It will never be normal and will live a very short life. Nothing beautiful about it, on the outside or inside. Tainted human spawn is what it is. If I were a godly man, I would condemn the little shit as a demon, absolutely. It should be church doctrine if it isn't already. I know for a fact the church speaks of such deformities as satan spawn that would burn at the touch of holywater. At least back in the day, the parents would leave it in the woods for something like a white walker to take, only it would become something far more hideous.

Really fucking pisses me off that they empower and celebrate hellspawn deformities that get 700,000 likes on facebook and they run twitter accounts for the shit. This isn't the first time I've seen it either, that can't be the same progeria monster named adailia or whatever. People are actually birthing circus freaks to make profit now. Not even a fucking believer and I find that sinful.

Abort early
abandon in woods
take to the vet to be put down
firing squad
hanged, drawn and quarted
behead it
drown it
burn it at the stake

do fucking something and stopping make videos about your progeria monsters

I don't own any guns but I'll come over and fuck your tight little ass if you want

I was referring to shootings, not suicides. Clever though

>you plebbitors complain and bitch and piss and moan and whine about them constantly
When will you get it through you thick fucking autistic heads that your reddit boogeyman doesnt come here, especially to Cred Forums, and that legit most if this entire site finds you to be insufferable raiding neet faggots that never deserved a board in the first place? Stop blaming all criticisms the rest of us have about you on the goddamn rebbit meme. No, there is a good chunck of legitimate hatred for you. Sorry if you are in denial this hard

>inb4 I get called le reddit like you spineless delusional fag you are

>he doesn't own any guns

come and get some fucking nu-male

Imagine a life where you have never been great at anything, never felt the urge to be great at anything, never felt that magnetic admiration to someone who was great at something, wanted to imitate and ultimately defeat him. Just nothing. Literally all you do in life is exist. Occupy space. pass the time. You're a chick.

You're bored,tweeting about your fucking hair and not even feeling any kind of happiness from it, just soothing your constant need to be bitter and cunty and petty toward other women. Every single thing you've done in the past year was mundane, shallow, and boring. You spent the last six hours reading kinda-interesting Reddit stories about people who made interesting Halloween hats for their kids or some stupid bullshit that you think is interesting and you may say is interesting but you're not really sure if it's really interesting. You're just fucking sitting there, gestating, fermenting, with a moist hole between your legs that guarantees you'll at least never have to get up and move around and work to support yourself.

And then you see men, over in some corner, having fun. You've never seen this before. What are they even doing? Instead of their consciousnesses merely sitting in their thick skull and revolving around itself, they are imbuing their conscious energy and intentionality into external objects, crafts, goals, projects. All the bitterness and cuntiness you feel nonstop seems to be absent, as they congratulate each other for being victorious, and happily learn from someone who defeated them. These creatures are truly content to be alive. They have found purpose in a purposeless universe.

And your gaze turns back on itself, on your self, and you realise you've never had that. You can never have it. You're just a stupid cunt.

So you get up, you walk over there, and you fucking ruin everything. Just ruin the whole fucking thing. The five seconds of attention you get will be worth destroying it. Because you're a woman..

nice making a difference bro :^)

>I don't own any guns
Your forefathers died for nothing
My dads a pacifist amd even he owns guns

I really fucking hope trump wins tbqh

The amount of online devastation will be glorious. If trump loses his supporters will either kill themselves or stop posting altogether

if trump loses Cred Forums will become my new shitposting pit

You are mad that people can say things you don't like on Cred Forums which is why you should go back to plebbit.. Anyone here who isn't a newfag plebbitor has had to put up with tons retarded spam of all kinds over the years and they don't throw such a hissy fit over it like you little bitch boys do. You're right though, the massive influx of cocksucking faggot redditors like yourself over the last few years has made the crybaby whining over muh pol incessant. I really don't understand why you don't just go back

politifact.com/florida/article/2016/mar/07/did-donald-trump-inherit-100-million/

Fine, he inherited 20 million, my bad. Their findings include official statements from news outlets at the time and the Trump family itself. It is most likely even more than 20 mil. Also, Trump family in early 80s estimates their total net worth near 200mil

It wasnt some autistic "small loan"...

FYI this thread is now being watched by a feminism group, and we're screencapping the replies here as proof of the sick misogynistic guy culture which exists on Cred Forums. No need to stop, and nothing to do about it now since we have it screencapped how horrible OP has treated his ex girlfriend.

This thread is disgusting, you're disgusting, and this will be used to rally feminists. OP is an abusive asshole and should never be in a relationship again. You need therapy OP.

Cred Forums is progressive. This isn't your forum anymore. Sexism isn't ok. This isn't ok. And we are watching.Fedora

>Cred Forums when trump loses

>politifact
shill or retard

>You are mad that people can say things you don't like on Cred Forums which is why you should go back to plebbit..
Its like you are illiterate.

Imagine being the janitor on this board and having to be all like "damn, Anonymous, your memes' fuckin' fine, all epic with your rehashed content and horrific unoriginal jokes. I would totally use these memes, both on the internet and in real life." when all he really wants to do is troll another 16 year old on facebook. Like seriously imagine having to be the janitor and not only sit on this board while Anonymous flaunts his disgusting memes in front of you, the Yotsuba B layout barely concealing his putrid body odor and greasy skin, and just sit here, thread after thread, hour after hour, while he perfected that meme. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking memeshit but his haughty attitude as everyone in the thread tells him he's WELL MEME'D, FRIEND and DAMN, Cred Forums MEMES LOOK LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit here and watch his redditish fucking posts contort into types of autism you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been posting nothing but a healthy diet of waifu threads and /got/ generals and later alleged cinema threads for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Cred Forums. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his scraggly neckbeard as he sucks it in to chortle dismissively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to not get paid to sit here and revel in his "dank (for that is what he calls them)" memes, the memes he worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous hours. And then the OP calls for another thread, and you know you could kill every single person on this board before the admin could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're the fucking janitor. You're not going to lose your future moderator career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

upvoted

The article includes official statements from the Trump family themselves you delusional fuck. Prove the information in this is incorrect.

Trump estate said that Donald personally received 20 million dollars on Fred's death... Is Trump lying about Trump now you absolute autist?

Haha, my friend you are quite mistaken. Your impressions of the scene are that of the unintelligent and common man. I have analysed the opening scene of TDKR for over 10,000 hours, every nuance of the scene is well documented in my mind and I know, full well, the true meaning of this masterwork of cinema. I will outline it concisely and briefly for you now:

>Bane: "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask."

By this Bane means that he was a nobody until he took on the persona of Bane, the reputation that surrounds him is what has made him infamous. The "mask" is not the respiratory device that pumps him full of painkillers, the mask is his image as a dangerous individual known the world over for his exploits. From this we can draw parallels with Bruce Wayne and Batman, the mask is an important theme throughout.

>CIA: If I pull that off will you die?

If I remove the mask, if I expose you as nothing more than a man will it destroy the essence of what you are?

>Bane: "It would be extremely painful."

It would be a traumatic experience to abandon what I am, an existential crisis of sorts that would be difficult to recover from.

>CIA: You're a big guy.

You're an important person, your reputation is large and your deeds are noteworthy.

>Bane: For you.

For you I am an important person, you are an agent of the CIA who has been actively hunting me. Our importance to somebody, our stature, our largeness is defined by the effect we have on them. To the average person Bane is not a "big guy", but to this agent he is large indeed.

I can't wait for the election to be over, I'm going to go on Cred Forums and spam Hillary threads.

>feminism group

How many of you are there? And can you all still fit in the kitchen?

>CTR trying to derail the thread this hard

John, I'm writing this to you because this is apparently the only way to get in touch with you now. I dont know what else to do. Its like u don't even love me anymore john. I used to be ur bitch. I used to give u head, and u told all ur friends how cash it was. The john i knew would never hang out with those fat retarded no lifes. But now u spend your days looking at stupid ass pictures. U used to be everything good in my world, but now i don't know. Honestly, have u ever had a girlfriend like me? I mean, i guess its fun hanging out with those guys for a little while, but u take it to a whole new level. Have u started jerking off to pictures on Facebook yet? Don't become a stranger, you've already hit me with your best shot. We were pretty much perfect together, u know. You were the captain on the football team, and starter on the basketball team. But now its like the only sport you play is 'jack off to naked drawn Japanese people'. You even had straight a's, and i was your banging hot girlfriend!
Pic related, it's me and my girlfriends, SINGLE NOW!

When will you run out of copypasta, faggot?

Howdy Cred Forums, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

How many pages does Encyclopaedia Dramatica have?

Post the one about "cum in american ass" I've not seen that one in a while...

Don't think I have that one, but have this instead.

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?

About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

I didn't notice much difference in flavor when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbor's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbor's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavor for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

>every place to get information from is a shill
Where do you get your info from then? Who? You faggots literally wont accept any source, so who? Your racist uncle? Alex Jones? Who?? I'm seriously asking. You fucks hate everything not found on Cred Forums

So either every media outlet in the country is lying...or you are delusional.

Which is more likely? A nationwide news conspiracy? Or you being a retard?

I'm sick of all this "Katanas: 0 European swords: 1" bullshit.

Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

forgive english, i am Russia.

i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

wWe sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.

No I'm saying getting any of your political information from the democratically funded politifact makes you a retard

They source all their information, not everyone is part of some shill conspiracy, like I said, they quote the Trump estate...this "I cant trust any media that is liberal" meme is what is truly autistic. I'm able to look at Breitbart economic articles without grabbing my pee pee and screaming about conservatives.

Prove the info in that article is incorrect, faggot

>Four years after the last election
>Democrat v Republican
>Two stupid awful people are running
>Absurd media circus

Sounds pretty routine to me.

I like Skyrim, it's a great game. I played as a female Khajiit and focused thief skills mostly; those being sneak, one-handed, archery, alchemy, light armor, speech, lockpicking, etc. And though I played as a thief mostly, I actually thought the Dark Brotherhood guild was more fun than the Thieve's Guild. I did not really have much interest in the whole Greybeards and dragons and Alduin stuff that much though. I thought it was a bad story. But at least I was given a follower, Lydia. She was a pretty competent melee fighter for the most part, until some draugr came out of his sarcophagus and destroyed her. I miss her. But as a thief, it was better to be by myself in certain situations. It just felt right. When I finished with thief and assassin related things, I did the Mage's College and the Companion guild. While I enjoyed using the spell casting in Skyrim, I thought the Mage's College reminded me of another story about a school of wizards. And then for the Companions guild: well I just thought this was an awfully boring story. "Save this guy because he went to the wrong heaven when he died." I couldn't have cared less about the guy to be honest. At one point, I decided it was time to acquire the Amulet of Mara and have my character get married. It seemed easiest to marry Camilla Valerius because most of the other romanceable NPC's wanted me to do some tedious quest for them. We were married in the Temple of Mara, and she came to live with me in my house in Whiterun.

>democratically funded politifact
We still raging over this half truth?

>they source all their information

Just like the bought and paid for poltifact is your source, who do you think politifact uses as their sources?

One side of the election is routine, the other side isn't

Confirmed fact I'm afraid kiddo

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Obama has not been a terrible President. He did two things I disagree with, but no scandals, no lawsuits, no court cases.

Even conservatives who arent autists look back and realize that he was a pretty standard president that will be remembered mostly positively in American history.

>inb4 Cred Forums tells me hes a muslim antichrist

*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-r8 memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...

Stop being this much of a schizo, the sources are there in the fucking article. Not everything is your paranoid shill boogeyman you child

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

Thats not a confirmed fact. Is this the only criticism you can offer in a discussion? Just crying conspiracy and no real rebuttal? Its sad.

>even the sources for sources are shills man!
Hang yourself

The one good thing about this shit-show of an election is that either way it turns out there will be plenty of assholes on either side to laugh at in their defeat.

Trump and Hillary are not equal assholes. Hillary is corrupt but not insufferable, Trump is both insufferable and corrupt

Like it or not, one has the political experience to run a country...the other does not.

Hey dudes,

My name is Jack, and I like every single one of you. All of you are cool, witty, funny guys who spend your free time of their day looking at funny pictures and macros. You are the sense of humor that lacks in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any hate mail? I mean, I’m sure it’s fun making fun of people because you are so witty, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even more awesome than stand up comedy.

Don’t be a stranger. Just laugh with me too. I’m pretty cool. I was editor of my school newspaper and started my own detective agency. What funny activities do you do, other than “having fun to awesome drawn Japanese anime”? I also live with my mother and have a modest friend who is a girl. (She just taught me calculus; Stuff was SO complicated) You are all awesome who should gather at a big party. Thank you for listening to me.

Pic Related: It’s me and my female friend.

Double murder suicide

hey memelord, this is a pasta.