What's your longest relationship?

Yes, literally every girl I've dated has asked me that, although in reality women usually ask it via text as opposed to IRL, bitches love to autistically analyse everything bit of information you give them to assess whether or not you're genuinely interested in dating them or whether you're actually going to pump and dump them as soon as they spread their legs for you

why couldn't he get it up for her but he could get it up for a hooker?

Now? Bitches have thought this question is appropriate since forever. Dates have always been job interviews basically.

Anyway, why are we discussing this on Cred Forums?

i'll come with you

You idiot.
This is the woman asking if you're looking for friends with benefits, or something that could go to marriage. This is the part where you shape her expectations so she can't claim disappointment at a later point in time.

But yeah, her phrasing needs work if we assume she has a neutral position. She doesn't of course, she's looking for marriage, but the point remains.

really?
do gays do this?
can you make yourself gay?
dicks aren't that gross desu
not sure bout that anal business though

>Tfw dick doesn't work nearly as well as it did as a teenager

My life is going down the shitter one pathetic half-chub penis at a time

why are you asking me this? :/

I have a boipucci, we can't make kids m8
My problem is that I'm not over her so when a relationship starts to get serious I start actively trying to destroy it and ruin what I have

Stop watching porn.

>I haven't dated anyone before
>I couldn't resist asking you out though, I guess you must have some special quality men adore
>maybe we'll look back on this night years from now when we're telling our children about how we got together
this would work right?
riiiiiiiiiight?!?!

...

just go gay user, just go gay.

>I start actively trying to destroy t and ruin what I have

Iktf but that's because I hate myself. Then I get drunk and self-pitying and hating and lash out at those who care about me and chase them away

:D

underrated dubs post

too fucking forward and a bit weird

all you've really gotta do is keep it vague

just say that you've seen a couple people before but nothing major or overly serious

obviously I'm saying this as someone who's 21, it may appear slightly odd if you're like 36 or some shit

I feel like it's really important to make it explicitly clear that you're a virgin during the date.
That way she'll see you as pure and want you more.

...

This is your first date and you're bringing up (possible) marriage and children?

I'd end up responding with a bunch of questions so my answer is accurate with what she's trying to figure out

why not?
that's what the date is for right?
It's like asking someone in a job interview where they see themselves in 5 years time.

Because he's afraid of commitment

>only 2 serious relationships in my life
>neither made it past 3 years

this is normal right?

i never understand complaining about questions like these same with "are you a virgin?" and shit like that.
why are you worried? you do realize you can just lie.

Don't think of a date as a job interview

Depends on age and how much sex you got.

Also it's 2016. The majority of the population is virgins.

>lying about whether you're a virgin while on a date
how long exactly do you expect that lie to last

??

They're just being curious. If it offends you then don't date people. I've had relationships that last 3+ years so it's not a problem for me, but I'd imagine if your longest relationship is non-existent, then I guarantee you the girl you manage to date is going to be a weirdo like you and she isn't going care.

I didn't get a girlfriend til I was 21 years old and I got asked "how many other women have you been with?" My response was none and she didn't mind. People like honesty. More than that, people like it when you're confident and don't feel ashamed about insecurities. Yeah, it sucks and you gotta deal with it, but any response to a chick that lets them know you're insecure about it is gonna turn them off. It sucks, you're a virgin and you're 20+ years old. Just deal with it and be open about it. You're fucked if you don't.

You can't build a relationship through lies, if the girl finds out, she will lie to you as well, cheat on you and much more. Unless she is a liar too.

What, no. I mean, what if she doesn't want kids or marriage this is the sort of thing to find out later.

all women want kids and marriage, otherwise they wouldn't be dating.

They could just want a long term relationship, someone to live their life with or whatever other cheesy nonsense normies spout.

Not entirely true, but close.
For a woman, dating means someone is taking care of you for as long as you want it to last. It means someone buying you things and lavishing you with affection.

Even someone who goes to frat parties and/or cams in her spare time could see the appeal in that.

What kind of women have you met?

I have literally never known a woman my age who said she wanted kids. Marriage, sure, because then you have a man to pay the bills and take of you. Kids? Never.

It's 2016 bro - personal responsibility is avoided like the fucking plague.

>I've never dated before, but I have gotten a-a-a hug before. Do you still want to be my girlfriend?

I know that feel, I broke my dick fapping on meth almost a year ago, now I need to put something like a rubber band around my dick to get a full erection, even viagra does nothing

>What's your longest relationship?
I'm pretty sure my wife asked me this. I said "just 1 month." in the end, it didn't matter; after all, she's now my wife.

>I broke my dick fapping on meth
How did you rub your dick on meth? Isn't meth hard and sharp?

>You can't build a relationship through lies,

T. bad liar

Dad joke

Not really, it's very hydrophillic so it gets soft and melts once you take it out of the baggie

>actually defending bringing up past relationships on a first date
>women like honesty
>mfw

I'm 29, turning 30 and have traveled the entire relationship spectrum. Honestly, I don't have the time or energy for dating anymore. I'm devoted to my job and improving myself. It doesn't help I've moved to Retirement Center, Florida where any woman under 55 has three kids or an eating problem.

>be me
>be american
>do some work in voice acting, pretty good
>at the bar with the friends, one of the girls mentions that a friend of her is moving into town
>thinks it would be hilarious if I pretended to be Irish because she's a big Mel Gibson fan (it was at least a decade ago) and all those nationalities are the same to her
>okay sure why not, it'll be a good laugh
>meet the friend a few days later, the girl I knew setting us up
>5'4", blonde, decent bust, all good. We'll have a laugh a few weeks down the road, maybe get friends w/ benefits status out of it if she's got a good sense of humor
>doing my irish accent the whole time
>weeks pass, joke still going
>she's getting really into it, but don't notice because busy with work and other things
>she'll ask things about Ireland and I'll be giving answers from the time I visited there
>now it's been a month, the girl who introduced us thinks it's hilarious but I'm wondering how much longer this can go on and still be a joke
>eventually it happens
>in the bar with her, things going well
>food arrives
>take the plate, fuck it's hot
>drop it and let out an oath
>no accent
>she just stands up and leaves
>girl who set it all up doesn't like talking about it
>haven't seen her friend since

You can be good and still slip up. Living in paranoia of slipping up isn't worth it.

A month in, and nothing? Was she really worth the long game?

29

never had a problem getting sexy time

Your dad makes jokes about meth?

My last date ended up talking about politics and how Bernie "got the message across" and "still did a lot of great work"

Of course. They want to know if you have relationship problems before possibly entering into a romantic relationship with you. It's a perfectly reasonable question to ask, and one I've also asked.

>be on date
>she starts talking about her kids

I've been with the same person for 10 years, since I was 15.

Feels good man, get a companion. Fuck dating though.

>be onna date
>she starts talking about the hubbie, but she's only 21

>be on date
>she starts talking about the time she was """""raped"""""

>tfw you can honestly say 5 years now but it sure didn't seem like 5 years, it seemed like only 2...

Is this from some cheap romcom or something?

>be on date
>she starts talking about how her ex-husband is behind on child support
>she adds that she threatened to tell the kids that he died if he doesn't pay up

Glad she showed her crazzy on date one

>keep it vague

This doesn't work, unless you're prepared for an endless spiral into lies as more questions arise.

>be on date
>says shes a virgin
>says she has done anal

Don't lie none of you are dateable

>be on date
>reveals she was raised by her single mother

Literally asking for you to confirm her hymen is there, but as the other user says: this will never happen to you™

>go on a date
>realise she brought her boyfriend

get on my level faggets

My last relationship ended with her trying to beat me up and me kicking her literally out of my car.

Girls in LA are fucking insane

>be on date
>reveals she was adopted and has two dads

I feel nothing but deep pity for all of you.

>be on a date
>date starts making lewd sexual innuendo jokes
>can only respond with "haha ... yeah"

what if i already did???

Is this you?

You probably deserved it

...

>be on date
>favorite books are Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games and Game of Thrones

>tell the kids he died

HAHAHAHA LMAO!!

Every single date I've been on with a girl: 100%

Every single date I've been on with a dude: not since high school never again for the rest of my life

Fuck you chelsea

Don't fuck up in the future

>Divergent, City of Bones, and Lightning Thief not mentioned

You could do worse.
Also, girls who like 50 Shades are ez mode dtf, and their % body fat and make up determines if they're crazy or not. It's like ordering chinese takeout.

eat my dick

Could you talk less disgusting

I will gladly cut off your dick and eat cook it and eat it. Cannibalism sounds hot.

Conversation and dinner is less trouble for the cost than a whore.

.......relationshits are overrated. Why are we so obsessed with the idea of eternal love?

Nobody wants to be alone forever

You can't afford either stop lying on the television and film board.

Respect yourself

eternal love is a joke.
Having offsprings however, does has it's appeal. Imagine being able to shape someone's life and turn them into an improved version of yourself.
He'd be an elite shitposter before he starts driving.

I sat next to a girl on a flight to Boston once.

Yeah nah m8. Ivee been in relationships that i fucked up because im a peice of shit but with this bitch all i told her was that i didnt think we should see each other anymore and she lost it and started swinging. Batshit insane. I saw the signs early on but chose to ignore because i figured its better to be with anyone rather than no one.

Gotta watch out for the crazy women out there.theyre fucking everywhere. Im just glad she didnt go injure herself later and try to blame it on me or say i raped her or some shit.

>implying I can't sell my MtG collection for $5300 at the drop of a hat.

Yeah, exactly. We need less people around like us.

>I listen to everything except countr-

Date ended.

I actually walked out once when some chick said that.

100% true.
The moment a politician wants to merge national security and social security by drafting the elderly, he'll have my vote.

>>Nobody wants to be alone forever
I've come to terms with it. Some animals are just destined for extinction.

>listening to country

So there's gonna be a bunch of Uncle Earls on the battlefield, shitting their adult diapers and asking where the closest Dennys is?

>be on date
>says she's a nerd lol

"I listen to everything except hard rap" is arguably worse.

>missing the point
She has no musical taste whatsoever. Anything on the radio except the country will please her. And the reason she doesn't like country is because she never looked for music anywhere except mainstream radio music.

Proofs: if you pushed her to clarify her meaning, she's make sure to say she likes Johnny Cash and similar.
the bitch is fine with country. She just doesn't seek out music and refine her taste of what is good and bad country.

>be on a date
>she rubs my leg
>"I would really prefer if you stopped that"
>realize years later how spergy that was

The joke is that they'd get killed, and save taxpayers needing to give them social security payments.

How did a Bill Mauldin joke go over your head? Not quippy enough for you?

And? Who the fuck cares? Are you going to go full autismo if she doesn't like deep-core anime?

>She just doesn't seek out music and refine her taste of what is good and bad country.

>doesn't like 99% of something
>why doesn't she spend energy energy refining her pleb taste?

Not everyone belongs here

>Jesus, do women really ask this on dates now
yes

Yeah, I got that, I was coming back atchya with something I thought was funny

because he's afraid of emotional involvement and shame for being a sex addict

he was also probably sexually abused as a kid based on his interactions with his sister.

>be pretty
>have weapons grade autism
>girls think its cool to jump hug me

I elbowed a bitch in Glassboro NJ for doing that. Like fuck, don't touch me.

>years later

>so tell me, how do you feel about long flappy dark brown labias?
How am I even supposed to answer this?

I NEED A CHART. WHAT AMOUNTS EQUAL WHAT LEVEL OF CRAZINESS?!?!

I think you have misread me user.
Anime is an instant redflag, seeing as she thinks there's a meaningful difference between animated movies made in Japan, and the same sort of animated content made in the US and France mainly.
If she watches television, foreign or domestic, she's probably also trash unless it's a small handful of shows like Mad Men.

>autismo
Where do you think you are?
What are you after? I've read this a few times and I can't seem to find the statement you're making. I'm not going to put words in your mouth, so remain chill and give me another try, how about?

>Cred Forumsck fiend
that explains everything.
Modern U.S cartoons suck dick you pedo, go cry about it on Tumblr.

>talking to women for longer than 10 minutes
Don't know how you can stand it. I wish I was born back when relationship/marriage was a logical business decision. I have this to offer, you give me kids and loyalty in return. Done.

It used to be strange to love your wife back in the day. Disney has ruint us

this is a lie.
you are just telling yourself this to feel better about yourself.

THIS.

>posts on Cred Forums
>hates classic films like The Charge of the Light Brigade

you pleb you

then again, having misread me twice, I'm not surprised by your bad taste. Why you gotta be antagonistic user? Get some chill in your life by watching some Ebert and Roeper. Lord knows you could learn something from them.

people still cared about each other but they didnt make flip decisions based on how they felt every 28 seconds. everyone is under the impression theyre supposed to be happy and entertained every moment of the day. no more working things out and being mature lets just split up. not that im totally against societies bars being lowered but you dont meet someone and get to know them anymore then fuck, you meet someone fuck them and get to know them now. you often end up with a kid before you really know people nowadays.

Nothing about love means you're happy all the time.
And your stance that people fuck and then get to know each other now suggests there is actually less emphasis on love than "back in the day"

>So are you the top or bottom?
The hell did she mean by this?

Nice R A R E P E P E. Do you mind if I save it?

damn, fassbender has a really shitty hairline. who the fuck gave him that haircut?

Is this picture real?

This.
Marrying for love was still not too common in the 50s. It only really started getting traction as an idea in the late 60s and 70s.

He didn't take much care in his typing so the confusion is understandable, but you'll notice his statement about "meeting and fucking someone before you get to know them" was the clause linked to "nowadays"
"getting to know someone before fucking them" is in reference to the past.

Which is very much true, unfortunately.
The best men are not reproducing as often as possible with the best women. Future generations will be crippled by the mistakes of their predecessors, rather than improving upon it via genetics and evolution.

i didnt say the word love once in that post.

love is a luxury and as we continue to get more and more advanced we have the time for luxuries. people didnt have time to be depressed when they had to work day and night in a field just to eat and sleep under a straw roof.

most problems the first world face is literally an embarrassment of riches.

then again even tho its more complicated its all for the better.

>Gotta watch out for the crazy women out there.theyre fucking everywhere.

It sounds like the one with mental illness is the man here, being you.

Which isn't surprising. Men are hormonal temper tantrums.

I had an online friend for 5 years... Does that count m'lady

TAKE IT BACK MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

>And? Who the fuck cares?

Determining your likes and dislikes without first examining the reasons you may like or dislike something is clouding your judgement with predetermined biases. Country music is country music. If you like it, there must be a reason for it. If you dislike it, the same is true. Blind love and blind hate are equally bad.

It's a coin flip away from genuine racism.