Only person in the cinema

>Only person in the cinema
>Someone walks in
>Sit right behind me

>walking with friend to theater screen
>he falls into the trash trenches because he's not paying attention
>tentacle monsters rip him apart

at least the movie was alright

You won the kino-kino, he's there to pleasure you the entire movie.

>Going on the cinema
>Walk in
>It's empty besides some worthless cuck there
>sit right behind him
>take out my knife and put it by his throat
>tell him to take off his pants and bend over
>rape his ass
> make him turn around
>cum on his face
>shove my knife in his ass
>as he lies dying I take his wallet
>leave and head to the counter
>use his money and buy some crab legs
>tell them some faggot in a fedora cut himself by sexually playing with his katana
>it didn't have his back
>walk out and go home

>Wasting a perfectly good knife

Fucking Americucks!

> get my ticket
> forgot to bring cash to tip the complementary masseuse

>uses a knife in the cinema instead of a gun
>americuck

My mistake.

>tfw the masseuse touch the good spot

movie and sex, nice

> get to cinema
> pay for tickets
> gun lockers are all full

>Sit right behind me
your hair smells so nice, I couldn't help myself

>go to see the movie 5 minutes before it starts
>the line to the cinema showers are too long and you miss the first 15 minutes of the movie

>go to cinema
>forget to bring shower slippers
>cant not focus on my feet and needing them properly sprayed throughout the whole intermission

>taking shower at cinema
>teenage cinema worker comes in with flashlight and says it's penis inspection time

> drive 30 miles to my nearest theatre
> forgot my county-issued cinema license at home

y-you too

Cinema showers???

this is just human nature for humans to want to be near other humans.
go and sit down anywhere randomly on a beach away from everyone and youll gradually see people start sitting down around you.

memes

>get my ticket
>forgot to bring cash to tip the complementary cinema shooter

so i'm heading to my local right

this guy comes uppa to me and says hey you what are you doing over there?

I says i'm just looking ferrr

my mask!

I found it!

Fucking retards always doing this shit. Leave me in peace, I'm away from you cattle for a reason

mentally unstable creatures such as the odd cow behave this way and stay away from the herd

>go to cinema
>forget to pay for complimentary cinema gravity
>mfw watching trolls while choking to death in space

>watching movie in cinema
>penis inspector coming by
>start sweating
>penis inspector is really cute
>she winks at me, "Lets say you passed this one"

this fucking happened to me back in college. i had a huge vacant back in one of my sems and i usually kill time by watching a movie. watched a movie, when some guy sat beside me. ok that was weird whatever. a little while later he started poking me. i was so fucking afraid i sweated bullets. a little while later i'm etting afraid he'll grope me or something i suddenly stood up and ran to the exit.

why do i always attract fags? :( my girlfriend's gay friends always have the hots for me i'm not even gay

You are a sissy twink.

>predestined seating
>theater is almost empty
>single QT chick sits right next to me
>jizz a bit in my pants every time I smell her sweat

...

If you are sitting in the center of the theater then yes, I'll be the one sitting behind you. Maybe not right behind you (probably a little to the left of right). But I definitely want to be in the center.

>go to cinema to watch a horror flick
>look at artificial friends video previews available
>pick two chads, 1 nu-male, and 1 nigger for an enhanced experience
>that will be $140 + tip

>go to cinema
>buy ticket
>go into theatre
>realise i left the movie at home
>stare at blank screen for two hours

memer

>tfw when I got a citation in the mail for a 600$ fine after the designated shooter alerted the Cinema authorities that I failed to occupy my assigned seat

I don't know how I'm going to pay it bros.

whats your paypal?