Male Nurse AMA

Steps to treat tension pneumothorax. Go!

How often do you steal narcs from work?

I went to college at Aquinas College in Nashville. Funny story, they actually shut down the nursing department during my senior year so I had to take 24 class hours in 6 weeks to finish on time. It was brutal

I see a lot of morbidly obese granny pussy, so work gets pretty hot and heavy pretty quick

Just keep sucking dick and you'll catch it eventually, don't give up

I've definitely been interested in home health, I worked as a personal caregiver during nursing school

Most of that shit is done by the doctors in the ICU, I'm in med surg right now so my part would be taking care of the patient after he has a chest tube inserted

With the price of american healthcare, you'd be better off beating off

You work in a care facility or a hospital? And what kind of Unit?
Currently in my Senior year and I’m lookong at wound care

=\ So you just get the vitals and fill out the form. Congratulations.

I'm in a very big hospital working med/surg night shift

You have to do what your scope of practice allows you to. And I'd also be assessing the patient for changes, doing wound care on the dressing, making sure the patient knows how to not fuck up his own chest tube, etc.

Are there many hot fem nurses where you work? How do women in bars react when they hear you're a male nurse? Positive or negative reactions?

Should I just try to get a BSN right out of the gate, or get an ASN, and then finish the BSN coursework while working as a nurse?

Get a cheap ASN from community college, use tuition reimbursement from work to pay for BSN.

OP here, this is a great route to go that'll save you money. My only opposition to it is the chance that you get your ASN and start working with the intention of going back to school, but now that you're making money and school sucks you'll put off going back and before you know it you've been working for 10 years and you have a morgage and kids and life catches up with you and adding school to your life at that point would be a huge stress that people like to avoid.

Personally, I'd recommend getting all your schooling done before life catches up with you. But the ASN-BSN route does save money

Are you gay?

I've been in a long term relationship so I haven't had to try using my job as a pickup line. But male nurses tend to get either respect or "huehuehue you're doing women's work"

No you cock gnarbler I need it for my chili contest, it's in two days, the AIDS blood

nibba, if you cook the blood you risk destroying the virus. Do something you don't cook, like chicken salad

Idk, do traps count?

Oooh good idea, I'll try and make my family's German potato salad. Thanks Cred Forums

I assume you're not an RN?

That shit is basically impossible to get away with cleanly with the systems in place at my floor. And I never really liked pain killers to begin with, I preferred MDMA, LSD, and weed. But since my job involves handling narcotics I now currently drink and take prescribed pills like an adult

I am an RN, but my floor has no techs so we do total care for our patients. Lower patient/nurse ratio, but more work to be done on each patient

to be fair people ask for pain meds so much because doctors drastically undermedicate because they're afraid of the DEA

Yeah they really do, but their drugs are literally locked in a computerized cabinet that will not allow me to give it to them early. Sometimes I think that they think the med room is just shelves full of drugs like behind the counter at a pharmacy

Oh that sucks.
I enjoy being a medic. I leave all the poop to yall.

60 hours a week at 20 dollars an hour isn't too bad either but I'm going to start working on my BSN and go PRN for school when I save up a good 20 grand for college.
after that I'm going to try to do medical school, w-wish me luck.

If you're wanting to do med school I'd recommend not doing nursing, try to become a physician's aid. Nursing degrees have a lot of nursing specific classes. If you wanna do nursing, go the nurse practitioner route its an easier more direct transition between degrees

How much pussy do you clean

I clean pussy every day. Sadly, it's all pussy you'd never want to see ever

How long does it take to feel like you know what youre doing?
Stidying right now and i feel stupid everytime im on clinicals.

What was the worst thing that happened to you on the job

bro in a field like this get used to the idea of feeling fuckin retarded all the time. The problem comes in feeling too embarrassed/proud to ask questions when you dont understand something, then making the situation worse by doing something incorrectly.

You won't feel stupid after you've done a certain task 30 times, and nursing school doesn't have enough time to have you do every single part of nursing until you feel completely comfortable with it. There's a lot of learning on the job and learning from your more experienced coworkers. Just keep at it, anyone can learn anything if they keep at it long enough

Good to know, actually.
I don't spend much time actually in the hospital talking to people, most of my interaction is
'Hisvitalsareshitandhegotshoteverywherebye!"
So it's good to have some insight.

Why the fuck can’t nurses intubate. Wtf. Seriously

Hey cock gobbler, how do I deal with a shitty clinical instructor?

She clearly favours people and treats everyone like retards.

She's awful overall.

I had a lady that had an above knee amputation and a prolapsed rectum. She had a colonoscopy scheduled for the following morning before getting corrective surgery, so my shift involved her drinking a gallon of the golytely (the stuff that makes you shit until your poop is clear water).

So she had to shit every 5 minutes, needed help getting on and off the bedside commode, and every time she pooped her intestines would spill out of her ass. So every time she pooped she'd lay on the bed, I'd clean off the poo water from her ass, then push her ass back in. Basically the time it takes to clean her ass and get her back in bed she needed to shit again and the process repeats. I had to do all my charting in her room cuz walking back and forth from her room was wearing me out

why didnt you just study a little longer and be a doctor?

Because it's a task that could potentially fuck someone's shit up badly and you need training to do it. I'd be all for nurses being able to get certified in that specific task, but nursing school is too short and focused on other shit that it doesn't prepare nurses for things like that

>A little longer
>literally double the amount of school and triple the cost

user...

Because med school admission is a fucking joke.

508 MCAT, 3.8 GPA, Volunteer throughout every year of uni. Recommendations from MMI and Anat heads and still no call back.

Canada is a shithole

Shut the fuck up, do your work, do it correctly so you don't have to do it again, and as soon as the clinicals are over rest assured you'll never have to see that cunt again once that one class is over

On a side note, have you spoken to your school's administration about her? Does she have complaints from other students on record?

Damn user.
American med school is like "oh you have medical experience and you have a 3.5 give or take a few tenths of a percent? Get the fuck in here.
They don't expect you to volunteer or be extra, just some medical experience and decent grades.

why were you too dumb to become a real doctor, or at least a PA? how does it feel to be the lowest-tier beta in an entire hospital? how long is your speech about "..male nurses are a LOT more common now... the money is decent... surrounded by girls, amiright?!." etc etc etc..

...

Fuck me...

I'm not allowed back into the US so I guess it doesn't matter but now I'm mad....

Do you feel like you do your job better than male nurses?

MeNt female nurses

>Shut the fuck up, do your work, do it correctly so you don't have to do it again, and as soon as the clinicals are over rest assured you'll never have to see that cunt again once that one class is over

That's my plan but it hurts my pride to shut up and do as I'm told...

They always preach that we're a "self-driven/governed" career but they expect us to shut up and do as we're told..

>On a side note, have you spoken to your school's administration about her? Does she have complaints from other students on record?

I haven't because I've been told that if you begin to inquire, they let the instructor know and then she fuck you over...

Triiiiiiiiipsssss

What are your responsibilities

Not op, currently studying. I aint super smart, i never wanted a desk job, nursing seems like a reapectable career choice.

do you mean female nurses? If so, not exactly. I feel like I'm better than shitty nurses, and a shitty nurse can be a man or a woman. I am, however, clearly better at picking up heavy objects and healthcare involves a lot of picking up crippled tubs of lard

Do you work in a hospital? If so, do you get many patients withdrawing from alcohol?

Are you a male nurse

Do you have a sadism fetish

I want to suck a fart out of her. Cute RN

This is actually perfect practice for your future career, because nursing involves a lot of eating shit from supervisors/doctors/patients/patient families/etc. You gotta learn to get your "customer service face" where you emotionally check out but keep a face that says "Yes, your problems are very concerning to me, I care so much about your problems" then as soon as you close the door you go to the nurse station and say to your coworkers "y'all aint gonna believe this bitch!"

Once you're in the hospital there's an aspect of "the customer is always right" because american health care sees patients as a client/customer. And doctors (especially surgeons, fuck those bitches meet me in the parking lot and try and talk to me like that again) will also be rude to you. You gotta be able to eat it, and not feel the need to defend yourself all the time. You gotta be able to let that shit go

Gross nigger

Fuck...

That could be a really long answer, so the TL:DR is I follow through whatever the doctors order, act as a liason between the doctor and the patient (making sure doctor knows about patient concerns, making sure patient understands what the doctor told them, etc), and monitoring the patient for any changes in the patient (the doctor can't be there all day, so they spend about 5 minutes per patient and throw drugs at them and leave them with us and we keep the doctor updated on how they're doing)

There's a lot not listed but thats a start

Kys. She makes 6 figures a year Faggot.

Its hard, dirty work but I go home satisfied in the impact I made. and I'm the type that has to be up and moving or I get stir crazy

its like 4 extra years of your worthless life, also Ive never met a doctor who was hurting for money after like 2 years of getting their doctorate

I do work in a hospital, and a lot of the time the patients aren't admitted for alcohol withdraw. Buuuut if they get put in the hospital and happen to be alcoholics then you got a withdrawing alcoholic on your hands. It's pretty common

>am nurse
>am man
yeah it checks out, I think i'm a male nurse

So do I.

Doesn't stop her from being a nigger as much as it stops you from being a flamming faggot.

No, but I've definitely wanted to put a pillow over certain patients' faces until the struggling stops

do you use the internet , drive a car , watch TV , use a fridge etc ?

Some how I think drones in cubicles are needed for all that shit.

I clean municipal water for a living.

How do you feel about the analogy that the Doctor is the coach and the nurses are the QB's?

How much do you make?

What was the Biggest dick you had to stick a foley into.

Im not a doctor but I'd say asking a homeless herion addict whore to squirt some in a jar if you buy her a fix.

I get it, I was the same way about the pride thing. You gotta understand that you're gonna be dealing with this shit your entire career. Assholes are people, and people get sick, and you take care of sick people. Also keep in mind that if someone is in the hospital, odds are they're having the worst time of their life. Emotional support is part of your job, and being right isn't always the right thing to do. Empathy is a muscle, you gotta work at it to be good at it.

Unless you're a business owner, ANY JOB EVER will involve an asshole boss telling you what to do. You gotta be able to not let your pride get in the way

I've never heard that, and I like it a lot. It's a lot like that

I've just recently started, so I make 55K

I've had a 6" flaccid dick one time, that was interesting. I thought I was gonna run out of catheter

What's the max cap?

*sigh*

What did YOU do to learn to shut up and just do?

it really depends on your work experience, what areas you're experienced in, and what certifications/training you have on top of your degree. It also counts heavily on what state you're working in, because some states pay better than others. I know that TN kinda pays shit compared to others.

I've heard of RNs making 80k a year easy without being super specialized in anything, but specialized areas can make more than that

I keep in mind that my shift is only so long, and once the shift is over my interaction with that person also ends. And I get paid either way, so what are you exactly gaining from being right? There's more important things than putting someone in their place, and it takes too much time and energy to let small things on the job to affect me personally. If I have a patient going off on me, you just nod and wait for them to be done, then assure them you'll do everything you can to make it better, then as soon as you leave the room laugh your ass off with your coworkers about that asshole because they've had to deal with him too and they know.

TL:DR I get paid either way, and defending yourself takes too much effort that you don't get paid extra for

like a PCA machine? always wondered, if a patient were to happen to overlook the nurse entering the combination, would anyone notice if you gave yourself a nice hit then put it back to the old settings before a nurse came back?

Well with ours its a finger print scanner to pull the medication. And the machine makes you count the medicine any time it's accessed to it knows how many pills are there and who pulled how many, so if the count is wrong it'll know who fucked up the count

RN isn't entry level though like LPN... RN you actually have to pass a certification exam. RNs make 80k a year starting here, but it's the city

oh yeah that's the pill dispenser... not every hospital has a fancy system like that
but i was ask about a PCA pump, where it's set to infuse at a base rate + whenever the patient pushes the button (time limited)

Yeah starting wages really depend on the city. If you're in LA or something like that the starting wage is higher as a cost of living adjustment. I'm in nashville, so the starting wage is more 50-60

Why didn't you go for the MD Fahker?

Oh, well idk then. My floor doesn't get PCA's a lot. I personally haven't had to mess with one yet

I'm a male CNA about to start an RN program in the fall. Any advice?

i totally wanted to swipe the giant syringe full of concentrated morphine when my dad died, but they were all over that shit. took it away before they even confirmed the death.

if you were going to swipe something good, how would you do it

Don't let your tech experience give you a fat head and think you know everything. There's a lot to learn, and you gotta be receptive to it. But since you've been a tech you know how to do a 12 hour shift and not wimp out.

Study hard, master the basics because you'll revisit everything you ever learn. It isn't like normal school with stupid topics that are only useful for the test

I wouldn't swipe a whole bottle of morphine or a lot at once. I'd pick a little bit over time. Like if a patient is prescribed painkillers but is super confused and wouldn't know the difference you'd scan the meds in the patient room before you give them, but just pocket them. It's incredibly hard to get away with it now, and I never really gave a shit about painkillers anyway I preferred MDMA and weed

Thank god for geriatric lifts in the back of the meat wagon. We just got some this year.
My back feels fantastic.

>deathfats don't get good healthcare because fuck you for making me deal with this shit that was entirely avoidable.

My brother is a doctor and he regrets doing it every day. It was 4 years of school plus like 6 years of basically being an intern. Not to mention all of the loans he had to get. He wishes he would've just gotten a decent paying job after his bachelor's and enjoyed life

Yeah it's a long grueling process to be a doctor. Then they wonder why there's a doctor shortage

Have you ever seen or assisted with a circumcision?

What are the hours like OP

I watched 8 performed during my OB/Pediatric clinicals in school.

which method did they use?

They're 12 hour shifts, 3 days a week is the minimum for full time. I work night shift so I work from 7pm-7AM

how much do you get paid in a month?

Are more hours forced or do you just volunteer to work more than that?

eeeeh it's been a minute since that clinical but if I remember correctly most of them used gomco or plastibell. I cant remember which one was the more popular one

What kind of relationship do you have with your coworkers?

In the place I'm at, every nurse hates the other and they always talk shit behind each other's backs.

holy shit, how much do you make? not sure I could do that for any amount of money.

3 12 hour shifts = 36 hours a week. That's the minimum to be a full time employee

and which state did ya do the clinical in?

yeah, that. They're all catty bitches that are impossible to please. I just do my job and get paid

yeah i'd imagine it's tough now... i used to volunteer in the OR, way back before the opiate hysteria... the kind of access i had, shit. the cabinet with all the fent analogs for anaesthesia wasn't even locked, and half-full bottles and ampoules just got thrown out when patients didn't use them all.
alas i was super goody-goody back then and never did any drugs.
it was amazing volunteer work though; not a normal position, just something i asked to do. half my duties were orderly stuff, the other half nurse stuff (like moving unconscious people that normal volunteers weren't allowed to do, cleaning the patients with betadine in the theater, setting out all the instrument trays, being handed peoples organs after they were cut out, giving the initial report to waiting families while taking them to the Dr (did not at all care for the way they look at you)... crazy stuff for a high school/college volunteer to be doing)

I make 55k a year

TN

nice. would you ever perform that particular surgery?

I'm a nurse, so no. MD's do that

>Male Nurse AMA
>Ask a male nurse anything
Why do you same fag in the first post ?

what do you expect from a murse?

Samefagging this hard...

>I've definitely been interested in home health, I worked as a personal caregiver during nursing school
Too bad you aren't in NY. I own a home care company and we are getting so many new cases i need another nurse.

How much do these people make?

Here?
Too dam much.
i started a bitch at $27 an hr.
Greedy whore

I would totally do that

How much would you guess they'd make a year?

What is a Murse. I must know,

man+nurse=Murse

What is your personality type?

Here? 45-65 grand on the low end depending on the county.
They get mega money in Rockland

Pretty laid back. I avoid conflict not because beta, but because effort. My motto is "I get paid either way"

Wew Lawd
Thanks Cred Forums bro

Anything?

yes

Yeah well you have to live in NY.

How do you cure dick cheese even if soap doesn't work?

r u gay lmao

Water Treatment Plant Operator here , Im on $60k per annum , it is a decent paying job , not super rich , but for what I do it is more than fair.

uncutfag detected

just get used to it. dick cheese is the way of life. no matter how hard you work to scrub it out, your dick will re-cheese in a couple hours.

join the cut master race

Tripppppppps of tttttrrutttthhhhhhh
WHY are you not allowed back in to the States, nurse Leaf, ,why?

Can you do a Doctor's job? Not legally but realistically.

Yeah. Well with a PM who sucked cock to get to where he is what can you expect?

Do you believe the "need 2 years of medsurg before doing anything else" meme?
>t. in my last semester of ADN program

It's a fungus. Use antbiotic antispectic wash every day. Twice is better.

what percent of boys in tennessee get cut these days?

Yea i know.
I'm thinking of calling a holiday at the office and burning it to the ground
I will start over in PA or somewhere else.
This fucking state is terrible.
The only thing that gets me through is knowing that NYC will be bombed out of existence and most of the state will go along with it.

I'm so sorry.

it depends. I could handle 70% of the shit doctors deal with (think of stuff you'd go to the minute clinic for. Sinus infections, flu, stomach bug, etc). But doctors in my setting (hospital) deal with a lot more complex and more acute patients.

Thats exactly why I made my first job a med/surg position. I don't think 2 years, fuck that noise but at least 6 months. In med surg you see a little bit of everything, but nothing too buck wild, and it's a good way to learn the rhythm of nursing and learn all the shit about the job school didn't teach you.

It's the majority of them, for no reason really cuz we don't have many shills it's just what you do. I wish I wasn't cut

Whats bad about the state of healthcare in NY? My girlfriend is gonna start law school soon and has an offer up there

Would you take bribes for prescriptions