Hey Cred Forums do you know any riddles?

an eye?

why does OP suck excactly 35 1/2 dicks a day?

Not a burden for its weight and daily carried out,
He who takes it wishes it had never come about.

A shit?

You've just died and you're standing at the doors of afterlife. Both doors look identical, but one leads to Heaven and the other to Hell. Saint Peter is standing before you with two keys in his hands. One of the keys is shiny and gold, and the other key is made of iron and looks rusty and tarnished. Saint Peters says to you "One of these keys unlocks the door to Heaven, while the other unlocks the door to Hell. Whichever key you choose will be your destiny."

Which key do you choose? The shiny gold key, or the rusty tarnished iron key? And why?

This seems like a variation of the Montey Hall problem, no?

Is there perhaps a third door with a goat behind it or something?

Some are quick to take it.
Others must be coaxed.
Those who choose to take it
gain and lose the most.

It has no similarity to the Monty Hall problem apart from the door aspect.

What is red and touching ?

yeah

Twice four and twenty blackbirds were sitting in the rain, I shot and killed a seventh how many did remain?

why the goat nigga just why?

nope

Autistic shot in the dark.

Rusty one leads to heaven, as intense heat from hell keeps the metals pure and shiny and the alloy clean from dirt.

Rusty one is clearly been oxidised in water which means its been on a cloud or exposed to humid conditions (cloudland)

Again such an autistic response but eh.

What? you have something against goats?

Aww dam

I hear a lot
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me
I hide in plain sight
Whether its day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?

Ok, so I'd say the rusty key leads to heaven. The reason is probably because of something like

People who want to go to heaven are humble and it's unbecoming for heaven to have something golden and beautiful because of "muh humbleness" Also, because it's ironic that heaven will have a shitty key.

Alternative answer: we are all predetermined to go to either heaven or hell so it doesn't matter which key you choose, it'll lead you to the door that you are meant to go to.

>assumption: No one key can open both doors

Alter boy :^)

That's pretty much it.

The rusty one leads to Heaven. It gets used so little that it has rusted and tarnished. Whereas the gold one gets handled so much that it stays shiny.

I made up the riddle yesterday while laying in bed but I realize it's pretty obvious.

Punishment?

Death

yeah

the truth?

Hmmm, so you're implying that most people go to hell, then?

yes.

He comes to bedsides, icy bridges,
battlefronts, and crumbling ridges.
When he comes, he comes alone,
taps a shoulder, then is gone.

heart?

A cheetah and a half

21?

No

Dead men eat this all the time
But living men who eat this die slowly

No sorry

dickdickdick
but dickdick
dick

nothing

My wife.

dick?

Blonde locks had I in my early days
Millions did I call brother
But now my star has faded on
And I do battle no more
Who am I?

Nope.
a baby sucking a razorblade

Bingo, meng

Has a mouth,
but cannot drink.
Has a head,
but cannot think.
Has a tongue,
but not a lung.
Some are held
and some are hung.

no, dickdick
dick

kek

24

Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a farmer's field?

my asshole

because they will rape your daughter?

I don't have a daughter anymore, also no.

No

dandilion?

death?

A bell.

Twice 4 is 8
and 20, so 8+20=28.
A seventh is 1/7. 28*1/7=4.
28-4=24.

No

Gimme a hint please?

No, incorrect

yep

What day will you never see again?

27?

No

Monday
g'night lads

Yesterday

rip if true

yeah

I used to be the light of your life,
I’d keep you warm while I cried,
Now I’m forgotten and tossed away.

What am I?

That's not a riddle, dumb ass.

Fire or candle

Your own children, you MONSTER!
How could you throw them away like that!?!?

it was a candle

For some, I am used to get around.
I never even touch the ground.
Sometimes I fall and sometimes I float,
If I’m in the air, then take note.

What am I?

Because the corn has ears!! Amirite?

Pronounced as one letter,
And written with three,
Two letters there are,
And two only in me.
I’m double, I’m single,
I’m black, blue, and gray,
I’m read from both ends,
And the same either way.

What am I?

Wind?

Eye?

0

No

yeah

I lack much reason, but often rhyme,
And require logic to pass the time,
To get the words to tell your kin,
Look for clues that lie within,
Though all are different, they act the same,
The answer is practically in the name.
What am I?

I thought that too except for the blue, black and grey thing threw me. What the fuck

ahhh 4 then

>Twice four and twenty blackbirds were sitting in the rain, I shot and killed a seventh how many did remain?
a seventh, they're all dead, the rest flew away

Congrats

I’m a six-letter word. If I did not exist, you wouldn’t either. With my first letter omitted I’m an alternative. The last three letters are feminine. The first four letters make an insect.
Who am I?

nope

mommy

I am king of kings
the biggest planet

What am I?

Jupiter?

No other guesses on this one?

Hint: It's an actual person

llol yes

jennifer lopez

Nope.

putin?

Lighter than what
I am made of,
More of me is hidden
Than is seen.

Nope.

I'll give you another hint. He did actually literally say "brother" a lot

A alien

iceberg

yep

Each morning I appear
To lie at your feet,
All day I will follow
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.

Your shadow.

Everyone has it.
Those who have it least don’t know that they have it.
Those who have it most wish they had less of it,
but not too little or none at all.

shadow

yeah

I am seen in the water
If seen in the sky,
I am in the rainbow,
A jay’s feather,
And lapis lazuli.

No not a alien

tiem

The color blue

hulk hogan

YES! Correct!

ye

This is a most unusual paragraph. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary you’d think nothing was wrong with it – and in fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is unusual though. Why? Study it, think about it, and you may find out. Try to do it without coaching. If you work at it for a bit it will dawn on you. So jump to it and try your skill at figuring it out. Good luck – don’t blow your cool!

pretty much, it was age.

Alive without breath,
As cold as death,
Clad in mail never clinking,
Never thirsty, ever drinking

The thunder comes before the lightning,
And the lightning comes before the cloud,
The rain dries all the land it touches,
Wrapping the earth in a blood red shroud.

What am I?

Yeah, and the potatoes have eyes.

It never uses the letter "e"

A riddle

> anymore

Did she die ?

When she was 5. Car accident.

correct

An eye in a blue face
Saw an eye in a green face.
‘That eye is like this eye’
Said the first eye,
But in a low, not high place.

yeah.

What is put on a table and cut but never eaten?

Cheese

A piece of wood.

A candle

nope

Fractions

no

F

moms spaghetti

also no

Plate?

Here's another one

Tears I cry but all in vain
Enemies I see as plentiful as rain
I make myself heard
But some people think I'm a turd
Because I'm only an irritating pain
What am I?

open wound

Nope

a deck of cards?

yeah

I am worthless, yet when added to others I add worth.
I confounded the ancient Greeks, yet I changed men’s understanding.
What am I?

Cloth?

letters

It’s true I bring serenity,
And hang around the stars
But yet I live in misery;
You’ll find me behind bars
With thieves and villains I consort
In prison I’ll be found
But I would never go to court,
Unless there’s more than one

1 dumbass

nope

An iron horse with a flaxen tail.
The faster the horse runs,
The shorter his tail becomes.

What is it?

...

what do you fill a bucket with to make it lighter?

Whoever makes it, tells it not.
Whoever takes it, knows it not.
Whoever knows it, wants it not

a hole

a needle

Stone

helium, you dumbass

yeah

I am always hungry,
I must always be fed,
The finger I touch,
Will soon turn red

I have no style, I have no grace, I also have a funny face.

Who am I?

Fire

fire?

I can hold a conversation yet never talk.

What am I?

yeah

Has a blade of jagged cut.
Keeps the quickest hand out shut.
Goes in darkness. Wears a ring.
One is quiet. Many sing.

OP

heehee

no

A torch

the average Cred Forumstard

>

yep

I build up castles.
I tear down mountains.
I make some men blind,
I help others to see.
What am I?

holes, numb numb

I have no friends
except that ones that hurt
I have killed 17 so far
But I still feel inert

I'm not numb

lies

>castles made of stone or sand
>sand erodes mountains
>sand gets in your eye and makes you blind
>sand is made into glass and shaped into lenses
i'm gonna say
>sand

When is a door not a door?

yeah

Whoever makes me can hear me, but to all others I’m silent. What am I?

when it's a jar

A fart

thoughts

You clearly haven't met my dominatrix.

dream?

How many Lowes could a Rob Lowe rob
If a Rob Lowe could rob Lowes?

>poor people have it
>rich people don't need it
>you die if you eat it

about tree fiddy?

ye

The first is a person who lives in disguise who deals in secrets and tells nothing but lies.
Then think of a letter that’s last to mend the middle of middle and end of end.
Now think of a sound which is often heard in search of every unknown word.
Put it together and answer me this, which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?

Absolutely correct!

nothing

a cunt

lier
e
uh
lima?

nope

Should be:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said, with a grin
As he wiped of his chin
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it!"

Sorry, I was flying by the seat of my pants on that one. I guess I'll have to get better at riddles.

A volcano?

yes.
What is made of wood but can’t be sawed?

My benis?

the sun and a flower

[spoiler]does this really work?[/spoiler]

yea it was the sun and a daisy

Where will you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses?

nope

Snow

no

Zero

yeah

Glittering points
That downward thrust,
Sparkling spears
That never rust.

sunbeams

What is nowhere but everywhere except where something is?

nope

Ur mum

Shit, I really thought that was it

Icecicles?

bingo

Kings and queens may cling to power
and the jester’s got his call
But, as you may all discover,
the common one outranks them all

risk?

>kilmeister voice
THE ACE OF SPADES! THE ACE OF SPADES!

30 days has September, April, June, and November. When short February's done. All the rest have 31...

Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have thirty-one. February has twenty-eight, but leap year coming one in four.

yep

This thing all things devours,
Birds, beasts, trees, and flowers.
Gnaws iron bites steel,
Grinds hard stones to meal,
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down

Time.
> realizes there are 2 people left in this thread, both of whom have read The Hobbit

yes
I belong to you, but am used more by others.

What am I?

yes, i think thats the second hobbit one ive posted so far

I’m lighter than air but a million men can’t lift me. What am I?

All of them

Best done by Peter Falk...
youtube.com/watch?v=8uWYyAz2E7Y
Pellican

Mother

fake money?

yep

Thirty white horses on a red hill,
first champ, then stamp, and then stand still

“A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?”
~~ Dixon Lanier Merritt

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.

You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I die,
‘Till you call me again.

What are these looking at?

Hillary Clinton

but who was phone

Sadly, literally the first two lines give it away. Everything else just cements it. Besides Eye, I can't think of a single other word in the English language off the top of my head that fits that criterion.

sawdust

HILARY CLINTON?

Gas?

yeah

I am, in truth, a yellow fork
From tables in the sky
By inadvertent fingers dropped
The awful cutlery.
Of mansions never quite disclosed
And never quite concealed
The apparatus of the dark
To ignorance revealed.

nope

Unfortunately, the fact that I have a brain and know things gets in the way.

Gold does not tarnish. It's one of the reasons they use it for jewelry. It doesn't matter if it was used once, twice, or a thousand times a day for the past hundred years. It might get scratched, but it would not tarnish.

Iron tarnishes relatively quickly, especially if exposed to the elements but even the humidity of an average house would do it.

Spyderrrrr

Get that Hobbit shit outta here. Fish btw

yeah

You cannot keep me until you have given me. What am I?

yep

Look in my face and I am someone,
Look in my back I am no one.
What am I?

Phone number?

nope

Echo

Lightning?

yes

Gets rid of bad ones,
Short and tall,
Tightens when used
One size fits all.

...

Shitler?

kek

a condom?

yeah

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

A secret?

Stalin?

almost

Cuffs or manacles

Rope

nope

As I have gone alone in there
And with my treasures bold,
I can keep my secret where,
And hint of riches new and old.

Begin it where warm waters halt
And take it in the canyon down,
Not far, but too far to walk.
Put in below the home of Brown.

From there it's no place for the meek,
The end is ever drawing nigh;
There'll be no paddle up your creek,
Just heavy loads and water high.

If you've been wise and found the blaze,
Look quickly down, your quest to cease,
But tarry scant with marvel gaze,
Just take the chest and go in peace.

So why is it that I must go
And leave my trove for all to seek?
The answers I already know,
I've done it tired, and now I'm weak.

So hear me all and listen good,
Your effort will be worth the cold.
If you are brave and in the wood
I give you title to the gold.

Fucking liar. What then?

pretty much, it was a noose

The sun bakes them,
The hand breaks them,
The foot treads them,
The mouth tastes them.

Gas doesn't fall retard

Your name.

Trust

Gasoline does, and that's what's used to get around. Gas as in the form of matter floats and generally noxious gasses in the air are a concern.

yep

You twirl my body but I keep my head up high.
When I go in I keep things tight.
What am I?

I have hair, I produce milk but I am no mammal. What am I?

Screw

Coconut

what have i got in my pocket?

yeah

I am the best thing to make if you’re in a burning house. And you’d better make me quickly before the fire’s too hot to take.

Correct, wish you'd shut the fuck up if you already know the answer before getting the riddle though, nigger

do you give up?

I was thinking noose as well but thought it too specific so went for rope.

I honestly don't I just like riddles a lot so I figure them quickly.

Not chest or box is now discussed. Money can be held in it, but just as we test its metal, within it there is rust.

Sure

boat

Concrete but that's likely wrong. Made of rocks and the mouth can taste them.

Boats touch the ground all the time. They run aground and when small ones make land they brush up.

What's light as air, but even the strongest man can only hold it for a few minutes?

breath

Breath

nope sorry

Feed me and I live, give me drink, and I die. What am I?

Breath

On a map?

Bread?
Grapes?

A three-eyed super cheetah

ye
I am too much for one, enough for two, but nothing to three. What am I?

That's a Limerick, not a riddle

Duh

So what, it's just a thread on /b, don't get so uptight.

Yes, it was grapes

I saw a strange creature,
Long, hard, and straight,
Thrusting in a round, dark, opening,
Preparing to discharge its load of lives,
Puffing and squealing noises accompanied it,
Then a final screech as it slowed and stopped.

Muh dik, j/k

This is baiting me into saying dick

fire

A bubble

I figure going for the gold would signify greed, so that one would lead to hell.
I'd pick that one so I could get me summa dat sweet, sweet eternal suffering.

a train

Yuh,
Break me and I become better,
I am immediately set and harder to break again

yeah

What goes up and down but doesn’t move?

a horse?

temperature?

Temperature?
The market?

a record

Nope

no