Daily smoker here. I’ve got a pre-employment drug test that I have to complete before the 23rd...

Daily smoker here. I’ve got a pre-employment drug test that I have to complete before the 23rd. Last time I blazed was on the 14th. How fucked am I?

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Maybe fucked. Depends on your metabolism and if you're a big fatty. Make sure to get up a couple hours before you test and drink a liter of Gatorade or something. Don't drink too much though or it will void the test.

Detoxing tips, largely anecdotal and hearsay, so double check before acting
>run moar (everyday)
>sweat moar (sauna/too-hot shower/bath)
>drink moar water (gal/day+)
>eat lean proteins and carbs, few to no fats for thc to bind to

6’3” 200lbs. Wouldn’t say I’m a fatty, but I sure as shit ain’t a skinny little twink. I’m tempted to go to Walgreens and buy a test kit or two just to see where I stand right now. :/

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I’m in California by the way. What are the odds that they’ll see a positive result for weed and just say “fuck it?” I wanna believe they’re really just more concerned about the harder shit...

When you go in to piss don't give them the first piss that comes out or the last of the piss.
If you try to dilute it with water the temperature sticker will tell them it ain't right.
I also heard that qinine, found in some club sodas, will throw it off.
Last ditch desperate- "I can't pis...". They'll reschedule you.

Protip- don't be a weak pothead to the point that it afffects your livlihood, retard.

Thanks for the tips, retard

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None go running with long sleeves on at least 1-3 hours a day and drink 1-2 milk jugs of water (or more if you can) every day until then. You’ll be fine. I’ve never failed one in my life.

Fake piss? I used it to pass 4 drug tests. It's called quick fix and you can buy it online. Comes with 100% guaranteed as long as you do it right

I live by the ocean and surf everyday. So I get exercise. Or is the trick to actually sweat? I’m assuming from your post that you’re a regular smoker?

How’d you keep it warm? Just tape it in between your legs or something?

Synthetic urine always works for me. Unless it’s for probation and they watch you. Keeping it hot can sometimes be a pain in the ass, but if you activate the hand warmers an hour or so before the test and rubber band that shit.... you’ll be good.

It comes with instructions and the same temp strip the hospital uses. Warm it in the microwave for 10 seconds and then it comes with a heating pad, tap the pad to the bottle and the bottle to your inner thigh next to your crotch for an hour or so and it stays body temp

lol what kind of fucking idiot works for a living?

There’s a big head shop close by that I know sells those detox drinks. Are they worth the money?

Believe me, I’d kill for the opportunity to be NEET and sit around and jerk off and play battlefield all day...

Depends on how much you smoke? If your looking for just a drug test or permanent detox?

Assume that I’ve smoked close to a gram everyday before the 14th of this month. I just wanna pass the drug test. I can go into the clinic at my leisure, just have to do it by the 23rd.

The one I used did NOT work. Some of them have an ingredient that can be tested for and you look just as guilty

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The detox isn't guaranteed at that rate. Their made for toxins not just thc. The quick fix uses real clean urine so your only job is keeping it warm. I have tourretes and 2 years ago found out weed is the only thing (my first time using it) that stops my tics. So I smoke daily to be able to work and my jobs know, but I still had to pass the drug tests. It's easy to use

Mkay :/

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fucked it takes at least 2 weeks

If I dont give them a negative test result on my first try I’m entitled to submit another test within five days of failing my first one.

Depends. The chemicals that lurk in you body do so in your fat cells.

Are you fitanon or fatanon?

6’3” 200lbs. Not a fat boi but still a big boi. Surf regularly but refuse to run or lift weights or any of that gey shit.

You might be able to pull it off then but probably not

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Do you have any personal experience in this department or are you just a google boi?

I'm in CA too, even tho we are legal companies still test for bud. Haven't gotten the job anywhere I've tested positive. Start Niacin flushing now

My advice would be to ask one of your friends who's straight edge (assuming you have one) for their pee, if possible get it fresh before your drug test. Get a small bottle of about 4 fluid ounces and stuff it in your pants under your balls, two layers of underwear minimum, and 2 layers of sweats. Lab technicians test it immediately after you give your sample for temperature so you have to keep it between 90-100 degrees Fahrenheit. When they send you to the bathroom for your sample just take out the hopefully warm enough bottle and give them that. I've passed multiple drug tests without any issues using that method. Though if you don't have a willing donor like I did you're fucked.

My last job was working for the YMCA. Didn’t know I was getting drug tested, but I had to submit a urine sample during my physical. Smoked that same day too and there’s no way I passed. I was still hired though. Maybe they were just desperate for employees...

Yea all my pals are degenerates who have worse than just pot in their systems. Their piss isn’t really an option. I think imma just roll the dice and hope that I made a good enough impression during my initial interview that they won’t flat out reject me if the test is positive.

Best way to pass is synthetic urine. Seriously ive done this like 4 times and worked everytime . most private drug screen places dont watch you so its not hard

The only thing I’m interested in spending money on our kits to test myself at home. I’d rather not get hired than waste $40 on something that might not work.

No, the instructions tell you to drink it with a bunch of water, which is what actually does the cleansing. Better off just drinking a ton of water and tea.