Hey Cred Forums it's been a long time since i posted anything here, but I gotta get something off my chest today.
>be me
>was piss poor all my life, had no friends, no girls, felt like shit
>have only 1 friend in life, who is the exact opposite of me
>idk why but he hangs out with me, we can both talk for hours about anything
>best friends for 7-8 years
>3 years ago i start making good money, he gets in financial trouble
>I help him out as much as i can
>a few times see he lied about stuff and call him out on it
>we still hang out, but with tensions between us
>he asks for more money, I give
>and again
>and again
>months later I tell him that's all i can do
>he says ok
>time passes
>once again, he asks for money
>I say I can't
>he gets mad and we stop talking
>try to explain I don't have much money left and I need them (the truth)
>doesn't listen
>few months later I try to start talking again, he says im a bad person and doesn't feel good around me
>bad times, his dad dies a few months later
>still owes me lots of money
It's been 2 years since that happened. This is a really short version of everything, and my life changed since then. I make good money, bought a nice car, an apartment, see multiple girls. However, there's a hole in my chest after the whole thing. I couldn't sleep many nights. I can't trust people at all and I've become emotionally unavailable for everyone.
Any of u mates had similar experiences? How did you deal with them?
Hey Cred Forums it's been a long time since i posted anything here, but I gotta get something off my chest today
bump
Had similar experience, and it changes you deep. Only answer I have is that life is a path with multiple turns, and what you can do is just keep walking and adapt to the terrain.
Be honest, behave well, keep going and patience and that will pay for sure. But don't listen to other without reasoning on what they are telling you; there's lot of shit out there ready to use you, user.
Thanks man, good to hear I'm not alone in this
another self bump
I know the feeling user. It’s okay to feel weary around people. Not everyone is like that, really, but it’s okay to feel like they are as well.
You have to be a bit selfish in life. To care about others is kind, sure, but you have to take care of yourself first.
I do wish you well, and want to assure you that you shouldn’t worry. Your feelings are normal, as time progresses, you’ll feel better, even if it takes ages longer than you’d expect. I do wish you well, sincerely.
>have collective group of nerd mates that we hang out with every weekend for mebbe 3 years
>in comes sociopath bitch
>doesn't get her way
>makes full fledged utterly unbelievable accusations against me
>everybody knows they're not true
>but they're all desperate nerd virgins and she gives them cuddles so they stick by her and refuse to defend me
>including best mate of 20 years who I've known since grade 4
>head ends up fucked for a good year
>finally had to come to terms with the fact there was no justifiable reason, and sometimes people are just gutless selfish arseholes
The sad truth is mate, some people are just fucking cunts. Sociopaths will manipulate and otherwise good people into doing bad things, and some people would simply rather stubbornly stick to being arseholes because it's easier than having to admit they're wrong.
There's no point trying to find a reason for it. An answer. The truth, nothing. You'll never get it.
Fact is some people are just cunts. And there's nothing you can do about it. You will never get closure and that's the hardest part. 30 years later I still haven't been told why my best mate took her side over mine. Legit NOBODY who knows will tell me the truth and that's fucking weird.
I did hear he ended up dating her at some point though so that's probably it really.
Yep, especially when it comes to girls or money people become incredibly selfish and unfair
It was incredible man. I was brought up on boying stock loyal to your mates. Solid as can be. No turning back, defend at all costs.
Looked after these cunts. Used to throw parties for them, put on shit loads of grog, etc. Shout them all beers at pubs etc.
Guess I was just a walking wallet to them and when that wore out I was disposable.
The worst was the last guy who stuck by me was the one who ended up sinking the knife in the hardest.
Thanks man, I have become incredibly selfish after that. Sometimes I don't help even people that deserve it...and I feel bad afterwards.
You have two options. The first is isolating yourself from others in the way youve been doing to avoid running into any problems and heartaches. The second option is to get over it and move on.
It doesn't matter what you choose to do. It's your life. Everyone else has their own shit to deal with and no one is ever going to give a fuck about you as much as you will. The problem is that avoiding stuff is not making you stronger or smarter. It's making you weaker. At some point, it is inevitable, you will come across another person just like your old friend. And they will do the same thing he did. Only you wont be able to see it coming and you still wont know how to handle it smartly because you've allowed yourself to stay naive and inexperienced from the one, ONE, encounter. Avoiding problems doesnt make you stronger. Confronting them does.
Your second option allows you to throw yourself back into the world where you, again, will inevitably meet people like that. The difference is that with time and experience you will learn how to spot them from the crowd and, if you have to, will learn to manage the situation better than your first time.
You also allow yourself the possibility of meeting people who are the total opposite and may even be there for you at critical moments in your life by returning the favor you put out all those years ago.
1/2
How old are u user?
Look man im going to be honest I need some money hit a brother up
Oh you'll never shake that feeling man.
I used to help out people who were out of homes and living places. I'd give them my spare room and say "Take as much time as you need to find a new place, and I mean this, take as much time as you need, not much time as you want"
And they'd always live free for 3 months and when I'd pull them up on not having found a place to stay yet they'd pull out the "but you said I could take as much time as I want"
38
did you find new friends after this?
2/2
We need people in our lives if we want to become successful or reach better places in our lives. We are social animals with the exception of a select few who were born with different wiring. If you deny yourself that, you will always feel the same way youre feeling now.
There is nothing wrong with giving and extending a helping hand. Some even give all they've got, which is a really big gamble, and shit seems to have a way of giving it back to you. Not through karma, god, or some other mystical thing but through intention.
Personally, I follow the simple rule that in order to help others you need to help yourself first. You cant give if you have nothing. You learn how to give the more you do it and more importantly you learn how to help.
Your friend didnt need money. He needed guidance in other parts of his life. Had you been more experienced to see that you could have gotten through to him in another way. Same thing with anyone you meet in the future.
Again, you can do whatever you want to do. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. Just consequences. The consequence of you keeping to yourself is ignorance and naivety. Allow yourself to grow. Thicken your skin with more heartache but never let it defeat you. Keep your head up, back straight, and move through life with the fucking confidence and charisma that will attract the best things in life to you. Just like you have been doing now since that whole incident.
Good luck, stranger. I hope one day to hear that youre in an even better point in your life in the future.
That's not me. Not that it matters. I just dont want someone to muddy whatever Im trying to tell you.
And yes, I have. Ive met people who took me for granted but Ive also met people with the potential to be the closest people I can ever have. The only thing missing, like with anything else, is a guiding hand to flourish the relationship into what it could be. If it doesnt work out, Ive had enough experience to cut my losses and move on to the others with the same kind of potential. Even if it doesnt reach a grand level, they are still people I can be around. They're also incredibly valuable in terms of networking. The things Ive put out come back to me through them. They've helped me with money, materialistic things, labor, sex, entertainment, trips, etc. People are there to help you and vice versa.
Thanks man, it's not like i don't hang around people now, it's just that i have a hard time connecting to them, making friends etc. But I do try.
Thank you
Absolutely user. What you soon learn is to filter out people who are shitcunts.
You kind of have to spend a lot of time finding people who are good people like you, then you look after them and they look after you, but the ones who are all take and no give, you don't cut them off necessarily, you just don't hang out with them or help them.
I'm now surrounded by super good people who have my back. I realised some time later that the nerds were holding me back so it was kinda beneficial to me to have lost them, but at the same time it would have been nicer to have just moved on rather than being utterly garotted by the backstabbing cunts.
Fuck him, never borrow any money without a contract, I learned the hard way