I'm depressed and unmotivated, I don't like most "normal" people because most of them are boring. I have artistic/creative talent but don't have the motivation to do anything with it. I'm currently in school and really couldn't give a shit what happens to me, but I should. Why the fuck am I so retarded and how do I get my ass in gear. It feels as if there is no hope for me, which is a dumb statement because I'm very young, but that's how it feels. I'm a terrible person. Maybe I should just kill myself, that's what most of you would say if you knew how I was. I'm a worthless human being at the moment but I want to get better, any advice.
Do I have to comment to get people to see my post? Whatever, I will.
Nolan Lewis
Nah
Ethan Wood
My brother killed himself last year and my parents are both in hospital dying of cancer. I'm working at McDonalds and life sucks.
Eli Long
I shit myself. *shits self* Oh no, I did it again.
Nathaniel Cook
I'll tell ya, in general, life sucks. We aren't free to pursue our goals without paying for them with literal money. There are moments of happiness that occur that outshine the darkness. My wife's smile. Enjoying a good book. A rainy morning with hot tea. Catching a fish to gut an cook later. Finishing a minecraft build. The process of forging a knife.
Anything can make you happy. You just have to decide to let it make you happy. You won't be happy all the time. In fact, most of the time you won't be. 1/3rd of your life is spent asleep. Another 1/3rd is spent working. The remaining eight hours has to split between more work that you didn't finish, chores, and fun.
Moments are the key.
William Watson
My mom died last year at age 48, my grandpa who was my father figure is a dementia'd vegetable at a hospital and I can't convince my grandma to end his suffering for him, and I started exercising 6 months ago for all the helpful things it does to keep your neurotransmitters balanced but then I became too obsessive with that and tore both my quadriceps. Then I went to bad orthopedic, and now I also have sciatic nerve issues to deal with too. I can't even sit at my computer for long before I have to lay back down being forced to do nothing but lay in bed ruminating about the crappy shit in life. Someone end it now.
Fuck normies Dont eat untill you finish working on your art
To solve depression u need A job or school for having a regular shedule Good diet and exercise Sunlight Friends to hang out with and talk to when ur not working An intimate relationship, someone you be be romantically involved with and dump ur loads in And not abuse drugs and/or alcohol
There, i solved ur lyfe
Jonathan Gray
Thanks man. My mom had some pigeons that we healed and took care of together so there are some good memories there.
>I'm a worthless human being at the moment but I want to get better, any advice.
Stop calling yourself worthless for a starter, even in your own head. Negative self-talk does more damage than anything anyone else says to you. Why do you think you're worthless? Is it that you think you're worthless because you haven't accomplished x, y, and x yet? You know damn well you're trying to succeed in life.
Austin Wood
>x, y, and x yet? *x, y, and z yet?
Nicholas Carter
No, because I'm selfish and don't care about the people that care about me.
Mason Bell
I usually feel depressed, I always feel rejected from everyone, I just want to feel great about myself, but every time I reflect about myself I think I’m the most boring shit I ever met, that I deserve to die alone and no one gives a shit about me, except my dog usually makes me happier when ever I look at her, she makes me happy, but except for that I feel like I don’t deserve to live
And you clearly feel guilty for that on some level else you wouldn't jump to calling yourself worthless for that. You do care, but you don't have any fucks to give right now. I don't have enough energy to give a damn about what happens in others lives when I'm going through hard times either. Take-take-take happens when you feel like you're on the brink of insanity.
Henry Howard
>There are moments of happiness that occur that outshine the darkness
they don't even come close to outshining the darkness you dumb faggot
Brayden Davis
I'm okay but kinda without target. But i try to get one. Also I would really love to be happy in love again but it doesn't happen. The only thing I had in last 10 years was 2 weeks relationship. Also I'm anxious I have cancer or whatever. But I'm okay, just have to find out what I want and how I get it.
Josiah Myers
I'm not asking you to tell me your age or who it is you might've hurt, but if you're a teen... remember that your parents and adults were fully expecting you to be a little asshole at this age. Family fights happen and you come out on the other side fine one day. The boring people at school will stay boring until you're less depressed and they can ignite some interest in you to care about what the fuck they're talking about. Go with that artistic and creative talent for now. It will serve you well in the future.
I got a job today after searching for half a second which is good because I need March's rent.
I've been going to class and now I just need to study. I have a lot to study but I'm glad that I took another step.
I still need to work on my resumé and I need to look for a career but that's okay. I'm just taking it steps at a time. I'll get to studying in a second.
Then you don't have enough moments. Make more and they will grow to outshine it.
Take it from me. I'm 31 and had my son die in my arms at the age of four after a car accident that wasn't my fault about 5 years ago. My mother died two years ago and my father has developed alzheimers. My life's been pretty shit as of late, how's yours.
Christopher Green
Hey, how do I be eccentric and fun around strangers without the fear of them thinking I'm spergy and beating me up? Thanks user.
Tyler Clark
Depression will hit you many times throughout your life, and I know that because you're on Cred Forums right now. You learn to cope a little better every time.
Has someone called you spergy or beat you up for being eccentric/weird before? If that's something that happened in high school that kind of shit stays in high school.
Levi Brown
Seriously. I was too attached to my job anyways. I met the love of my life there. We broke up. Not trying to soapbox just saying. It's good to let go. Worked there for 2 years and they didn't even give me a two weeks notice...
But yeah I'm glad that I got this little bit of pressure. It's helped me realize what I need and how bullshit these small jobs are.
Landon Martin
I have a shitty job at Walmart, a wife I don't love, a best friend in whom I am in love with, and a newborn son. I feel like everyone close to me in life is taking advantage of how much care I put into them. I don't feel any appreciation from any of them. I just want to die but my wife (and her family) is too stupid to give my son a proper education and make sure he doesn't come out stupid too. Even if things were to change and I get a divorce I won't be happy because I don't feel good enough for anyone because of the aforementioned lack of appreciation. Idk what to do.
Jason Cruz
I dicked around for a while trying to figure out what I wanted out of life too. Eventually it just became too much, and I'm back in school working with the few credits that I was able to transfer over from when I was younger. One advantage you have is that you've seen the other side and you're a shit ton more determined to get your life together than the people you go to class with. Never lose that motivation.
Jaxson Allen
Nah, but I feel like everyone wants to start fights if you stray too far from the norm. Maybe it's a UK thing, idk. I just want to be myself without the fear of being rejected and abandoned. Sometimes I feel like my friends will abandon me because I attract attention to myself in public by acting slightly odd (not in a weird or creepy way, just commenting on things and people in a harmless, fun way). Although, it's usually to the females and friendly looking people which are less likely to respond aggressively, which probably makes my friends think I'm a creep. I mean.. they haven't left me yet, so I guess they enjoy my company.
Leo Reed
I have bulimia and my teeth are yellow and people think i'm disgusting and gross for having yellow teeth. All I do is take pills and hope I either do or don't OD. I might just do it again boys. Fuck it, i'll get heroin or something and go out like that. >Maybe not, I'm afraid of needles.
Michael Young
I went to CBT for social anxiety way back. It didn't help much at the time, but after I ended things with that therapist I started using some of the concepts they teach you by myself.
The fact that they keep hanging out with you means you're likeable. I used to do this thing after socializing where I'd ruminate on the conversations and things that happened throughout my day despite feeling as if it probably went well in the moment. I'd worry about certain things I'd said and what they think of what I said - sometimes I exaggerated their reactions to things I've said when thinking about it later on. Your friends really just live in the moment when they're out and about, not overthinking the things they've said to strangers and people, let alone what you personally might've said to someone. If who you are is someone who's a little eccentric and likes to comment on random things and they accept that, you've found a good group of friends.
Evan James
>be me >UK fag >just turned 21 >live with gf in shitty house >dropped out of college twice >got nothing above gcse >shitty job but pays a couple of bills and weed >depressed since 14yr old and mum died early last year >just smoke doinks and vidya in freetime Life sucks but there we are, making the most of what I got. You should do the same Only talk to 2 friend regularly and never in person
Landon Morris
Become anorexic instead. Better results, still skinny.
Seriously though that's one you need therapy for. Bulimia/anorexia is more complicated than it sounds.
Austin Torres
hey buddy, thanks for the reply. i feel a lot better.
I can almost guarantee that your wife will care for your newborn son fine up until he's school age, no matter how stupid she is. Now sounds like the best time to delve back into school and figure out a career to support your son. Programming isn't as hard as some people think, you can get a certificate to work in as a little as 2 years then go on to get your bachelor's if life allows for it. The wife and her family shit can wait.
Ryan Campbell
I dont feel depression anymore because I think i finally truly gave up being happy. I just have a routine. It has some minor deviations, but not many. I do what I do, and time passes. I make enough money to pay my bills, keep me high and fed until my next pay check. I have no savings, so if anything major comes up I'm pretty fucked, though. Ive had bed bugs and plumbing issues for about a year because of someone who was stating at my house because of my roommate, but no real money to handle either. I dont really feel depressed though. I just... Do what I've been doing. I occasionally laugh at fucked up things I find online. Its just life, man. Thats just all it is.
Isaac Ross
School didn't exactly work out for me the first time. I promised myself I wouldn't trap myself in the schemes of the education system for their exorbitant prices on a piece of paper that says I can do that stuff again. Besides, I have some decent opportunities for a govt. job thanks to some connections anyway. My main problems are more about the wife and the heart. I love my son immeasurably so I don't want to lose him or him to lose me. But certain complications with my wife have me feeling caged and unable to move on. Thanks for the advice though. It's nice to see someone who doesn't know me try to help me improve my life.
Camden Sullivan
It just plain sounds like the depression had deepened. Numb to everything. Weed doesn't help but I get that it's what gets you through the day
No matter what I do. No matter how much I do. It's never enough. She's always wanting more while doing less. I'm so exhausted. I've asked for help. She promises she will. But the help never comes. And then she asks for more. And get angry when I can't or won't. I'm only one person. And I feel like less. I don't even have the energy to smile anymore. The void calls and the dark invites. Sometimes it feels like the only exit. In a room that's getting smaller and smaller.
James Lee
used to be really depressed and down on myself until i realized i was just being a faggot and stopped, now i just have to fight boredom
Evan Allen
I dont feel depressed anymore, though. I'm just doing what I want to do. Im only depressed when I compare what I want with what other people want and think thst what I want (and have) suddenly isnt good enough, and then I start wanting what thr other people have. Thats depression.
Tyler White
I get that it's a complicated situation that some text a stranger writes can't solve. It's awesome that you love your son that much though. My uncle who is nearing his 50s is trying to work out a divorce with his stupid wife too. He moved back home to live with his mom for a year, then his daughter ended up getting deep into heroin and anorexia (while living at home, how the fuck did her mom not notice this happening?.) She had a short psychotic break in which she thought everyone wanted to rape her including her employer and my uncle. Uncle wants to leave his wife because she calls him worthless and other shitty things for not working hard enough. Divorce is fucking rough.
Angel Kelly
I guess you're just not content with where you are then?
Daniel Davis
More like I've still got a ton of regrets regarding things most people do that I didnt get to do when I had a chance.
Yeah, I don't look forward to it. But it feels like the only way either of us will improve. She's convinced that I'm her one true love and I do like that about her. But her personality is kinda shit and she's basically holding me hostage with threats of suicide. Having already had someone kill themselves (tangentially) because of me was hard enough and I don't think I can do that again. Not even to her. But i feel like it's a lose-lose situation. Either I'll leave and she'll kill herself or I'll stay and it'll wear me down to suicide. I just want an amicable parting. That's all. Where we can still be close and show our son that sometimes things just don't work out but that doesn't mean it has to be awful. But I don't see that happening.
James Smith
Funny enough, same thing was happening to my uncle when he was living with his mom for that year. She would beg him to come back and say that she can't live without him. He really tried to break things off, even told her about this one girl he fucked. Yet he still had to keep constant communication with her to make sure she was safe and so were his daughters. My uncle is someone who has had 3 serious suicide attempts himself throughout his life (2 of them that could be easily blamed on his wife) so he takes that very seriously as well. He moved back to take care of everyone a couple months back. Not sure what's going on at this point but I can imagine he's just waiting things out until his daughters are fully functional people.
I feel that. I hope it works out for him. It's a new kind of stressed depression I didn't know was possible and I really don't wish it on anyone. Most of my friends have been suicidal so I don't like that kind of talk from people when they're serious. I try to help them through it and I've been told I've helped some but it's the one I didn't that sticks with me. Yet another reason I don't feel good enough on top of the rest. I just feel like life is a clusterfuck right now and nobody close to me wants to help.
Colton Hughes
>expired I get it.
Jackson Adams
If I'm being totally honest it sounds like you're wife is being manipulative as fuck, especially if she already knows that suicide is a soft spot for you. I understand the fear though, depression does run in my family and I've had my mom threaten suicide right before I moved out of the house. She'd yell that I was "leaving her" and she pushed me to the point that I just said "then fucking do it." She never did but she did die recently due to physical health reasons. I still regret even saying that and the look on her face to this day. Never will say that to anyone again.
>If I'm being totally honest it sounds like you're wife *your
One more thing. Do you have someone close to you that's on your side through this whole thing? Doesn't belittle for "wanting to leave your family" and shit like that, someone that could understand? If not, maybe old friends you've helped, extended family you haven't seen in a while? Getting through your own past trauma with suicide alone with a wife threatening suicide who you expected to be loving and understanding... that's a mountain.
Zachary Jenkins
My friend whom I've opened up to about this thinks so as well. I've past reached that point myself but I don't like the idea of my son losing his mom before he's met her. She really does love him too and I don't think it would be right to deprive him of that bond. But I just can't see it working out in favor of all of us at the same time. Idk if she really would do it. She's had chances when she's had my knife and sat there with it and waited until I acknowledged her until she started threatening it. She's done that a few times. But I just don't know if the next time she'll be more serious. Or if I actually talk to her about divorce if she'll have another panic attack and actually try.
Angel Gutierrez
That best friend I spoke of before is pretty much my only true friend that I can trust. She's the first person to thank me for helping her not kill herself actually. But I'm running into complications with her as well. She's going through some more shit and I'm trying to help her but I feel useless. on top of that I don't feel like she really cares about me as much as she used to. So at this point I feel like I have no outlet either.
Adam Stewart
I'll just say that the family dynamic is what really matters when it comes to raising a happy kid. If you've found or can find a woman that loves your kid despite it not being biologically her own, he has a mom. Yet visitation has to be worked out, then even if you do get primary custody of the kid in the divorce and she has visitation rights... if she's really off-the-hinges selfish at certain times, she may do more harm to the kid than good.
At this point I'd start talking to lawyers and getting documentation to prove that you're a more fit parent than she is. But on close to minimum wage... much easier said than done.
Jordan Reed
I'll also say that IMO the people that use suicide as a threat aren't the ones that will actually go through with it. That ones up to you though.
Evan Bailey
>checked for that truth While I think she may be a harm to herself I think she wouldn't do anything that she thinks would harm our son. She's always wanted to be a mom. And I think it's only right that she gets him as much as I do. She may be impatient but she isn't cruel at least. Well, not to anyone other than me at least. At this point I don't even know if I could find someone to love me, let alone a kid that isn't theirs. But that's a whole other matter entirely. I really do thank you for the time you've put into hearing me complain and trying to help. More than most have done in a long time. I don't want to waste any more of your time but it is greatly appreciated. Those close to you are lucky to have you.
Lincoln Perry
you need labs taken, in lieu of that, eat better, stop SUGAR , carbs, colored checmical additives etc... get sleep and dont stay up late. At least for now, change your cycle and body and go to what nature intented for you. stop the screens and xobx, go walk, run, anything, just get out and get blood flowing. Do The Work. youll be amazed.
Brayden Smith
It didn't feel like a waste. It's not often that you get to talk about real things on Cred Forums. I appreciate the kind words. I hope they think so too.
I don't have mental health issues but the one with the mirror and the one with the schyzophrenic get me because I have a lot of imagination. Can you get ptsd from that job?
Juan Hernandez
Yes, you can get PTSD from many different things. Primarily things that shake your world view like having to deal with extreme suffering. EMTs sometimes get it. I know someone who got it from the military but never heard a single gunshot - he still has nightmares about the disembodied hands he picked up off the fields almost 20 years later.
What about me? I don't have PTSD. Just panic attacks from shit things that happened in my past. With PTSD there's a sense of realness and being trapped in that moment. There's also complex PTSD if you care to read about that. I just plain get panic attacks. Not as hard to deal with.
