Anyone here with BPD?

Anyone here with BPD?
Would you mind telling me what your perspective of your emotions and sense of self are?
How do you feel about the question "Who are you?"

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Rephrase the question

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How do you deal with emotions?
How do you experience what you think you are or your mental image of yourself?
Who are you?

You are everyone you meet.

>How do you feel about the question "Who are you?"
I don't feel anything. That's a pretty stupid question, user.

>How do you deal with emotions?
Earlier in life I self-harmed, now I mostly just drink until I fall asleep.
>How do you experience what you think you are or your mental image of yourself?
I try not to think about it.
>Who are you?
Still a stupid question.

Exactly but I wonder if people with BPD can understand that easily.

Have you ever tried weed?
>still a stupid question
I don't think so. Sense of self is abstract concept that few seem to understand. But to make it more clear, I'm also wondering why when I asked an ex-gf who has BPD who she was she got immaturely defensive about it.
To me, the answer is simply "I am."

Well even those of us normies without BPD can't really answer "Who are you" besides just giving you our name. What the hell am I, a normie, supposed to say even to that?

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The point is that self identity exists and doesn't exist at the same time. Understanding that paradox is the answer or at least it is in this context.

>Have you ever tried weed?
I hate smoking weed. All it does is make me paranoid and hungry. I'd rather do almost any other drug.
>I asked an ex-gf who has BPD who she was she got immaturely defensive
Probably because abstract questions like that are retarded. Like, what are you trying to ask?
>To me, the answer is simply "I am."
I'd rather have BPD than whatever the fuck it is you have.

This is a thread more suited for /adv/ than Cred Forums. They have a lot of these threads there.

male BPD here

I always felt hollow, and like i was perpetually acting and never felt genuine, I was never happy and resorted to drugs. The who am I question used to hit me hard, I always saw people as being really into their hobbies and having a great lifestyle, having interests, whereas I was just kinda..there.

How about what makes you well.. you? Or rather is it possible for a person to define themselves in any shape or form? I overthink everything user, I apologize if I'm not clear the first time (or second or third).

Thanks I'll look into it there as well.

>what makes you well.. you?
Hmm.
I guess it's be some dumb cliche answer like "It's all the people I've met, all the things I've done, and all the places I've been."

In all honesty if a significant other asked me a question like this, I'd probably get defensive, too. I can't really think of a definitive answer.

We're all kinda just here user.
Could you elaborate more on the hollow feeling? Does that feel like a deep sadness with a hint of no identity? I struggled to find an identity for a long time until I realized that labels and thought are pretty much worthless when it comes to that.

The only reason people get defensive is because the ego wants to protect itself from a perceived threat. Does the question scare you to certain degree?
I like your answer though. Reminds me of Pink Floyd.

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emotionally its just like feeling like an empty cup, literally your mind just kinda becomes lost in how meaningless and shit you feel because you never really connect with people in a satisfactory way, until you meet someone and obsess over them BPD style.

When I say "just there", i meant i would observe people getting along, different personalities melding and interacting, where i would just kinda say what i thought people expected of me, What i thought would fit in social situations, the hollowness being not having an internal drive or feeling about anything at ALL. So i would pretend. never really truly FEELING like a person, just an empty shell.

but it really is those things lol, everything that lead up to this moment is you. Metaphysically, there is no me" so all thats left is my moment to moment actions and desires

That's really interesting! It's also difficult for me to really wrap my head around it because the cup isn't defined by what it's holding rather what it can do. An empty cup is still a cup. Same thing with humans I think. Humans exist and just do things.
As for the zero internal drive feeling, I wonder if there isn't some emotion lying underneath waiting to be released that has yet to be discovered. In my life, anytime I've felt like doing nothing I felt depressed. Though I'm not sure I can truly understand this hollow feeling you describe. I appreciate you sharing your experience though!

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>I'd rather have BPD than whatever the fuck it is you have.

this

What's the point of trying to be someone other than you are now? Do you think you'd be happy in someone else's shoes?