Hello user's

I will rape your skull, you drooling cuckhold. There aren't many people in this world that have any interest in your existence, you should and will eventually die a shitty death. WHO AM I KIDDING, I'M TALKING OUT MY ASS. HELLO CONFUSED HUMAN, IM CONFUSED TOO. DON'T HELP ME. YOU CANT FUCKING DO SHITT

Normally I wouldn't say this. I'm hypomanic so I don't really think properly, it's hard pal but it's slowly coming down..

this is embarrasing. ut i doesn't matter when existence is not existing when I'm dead.
I'M BTTON NOT AN EDGELORD, I'M JUST RETARDED

Have any hobbies?

scoobysworkshop.com

Attached: Scooby2011.jpg (350x524, 109K)

There's always things I can do to improve myself, but I think everything in my life is exactly as it should be, good or bad.

wank and creative thinking.

i don’t know how my life is going all i really know is im completely unstable emotionally, a change i should probably make is to get out of the house more, mainly to find love, but then again who’d want to love a mentally/emotionally insane but cute tranny. i should probably also try to eat healthier.

Ah I see and you shitpost as a means for relaxation

btw for context on the unstable stuff i have BPD

>creative thinking.
Please elaborate

...

STOP FUCKING WITH ME. I NEED HELP, FUCK YOU. IT HURTS COMING DOWN FROM SUCH A GREAT HIGH

drawing and story concepts,

I've been diagnosed with depression. Started taking pills, feels like shit. Yesterday I cried for about an hour sitting in the corner of my room. In 4 hours I have to wake up for school. Sleeping for like 2 hours would be nice. Getting a girlfriend would be nice too.

Attached: 5e9bf0a5eb98d3efc9237b6015c8942a.jpg (236x176, 9K)

HEY PAL, DESCRIBE YOUR EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY YOU FREAK, ALL YOUR NON-EXISTENT FRIENDS WILL LEAVE YOU. FOEEVER. can it vary? Do you experience BPD hypomania? I have traits but not sure if im bpd

I used to be a robot, back in old school /r9k/. I'm talking before pepe was even a meme.

Last year i finally got in a relationship with a cute, sweet, kind, caring girl. I fell head over heels for her.

I'm 5 months into the relationship, and her lies and deceptions are leaving me completely broken. I thought this would be all i ever wanted, it seems like it from every angle.

But now i don't even know if i know her. I'm not so sure i love her.

I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her, but i have this lingering feeling that, any day now, i'll find out about the next little lie she's been telling me. Or worse, a lie that's not little at all.

I feel it will be enough, and i'll have to break up with her.

I'm morose. The weight of what could have been, how much promise our relationship had, is beggining to be a bit too much for me.

I really don't want to be back out there alone. But it's better than being deceived into loving someone.

how old r u

Sorry for bein' a bit mean. I'm pissed off

Venting. I started making changes 7 months ago. I got into exercise heavily for all the fun things it does for your neurotransmitters, lost the amount of weight I wanted to, started talking to people again, cooked good meals, began studying to get back into school and finish my degree, and was actually happy despite my mom passing 6 months prior. 2 months ago I strained some muscles in my legs, went to a bad orthopedic and the problem snowballed into sciatic nerve issues (lots of back pain) and misaligned hips that I need many months of physical therapy for. Currently forced to spend most of my time in bed ruminating about my mom/family issues just hoping I'll someday be healthy enough to exercise the depression away again.

ANSWER ME you loser

Fuck that's sucks user. I hate being alone so I feel you
Loneliness is a weird thing, even tho I have friends and family I feel like I don't have a single person that carries for me

I'm not
I've observe a pattern between agression and shitposting on Cred Forums
I just thought this was your way of feeling at ease

Attached: Doomer.jpg (224x225, 8K)

honestly i go from mood to mood within minutes, i’m constantly changing moods. i barely get hypomania but when i do its fucking intense. also idk if that was a question but I have a major fear of abandonment, my mom leaves the room while watching a show with her for like 5 seconds and i freak about it, etc.

Can you share some?

No.

Please user

I've had a few psychotic episodes myself, including one 3 day stay at a psych ward that I One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nested out of. I feel your pain. I got to talk to my uncle who is bipolar during a manic episode and on 5 days of no sleep. That was a lot of fun.

Working out is the best solution
Also meditating and self-control can help your depression
Remember suffering is sometimes needed for a brighter future

Attached: 1579722488271.png (680x383, 299K)

No, my life is *not* going the way it should. I hate my job as a dockworker, but despite six years of tertiary education (one of which was spent doing an unpaid internship at an NGO and volunteer work within the same field), it's all I can really do for now. I hate nearly everyone there, as I already know they do me. I want to learn 'how to code,' but I have little motivation because I fail at everything else I attempt in life. The coworkers, supervisors, etc all treat me like a living, walking, breathing disease, and despite always being on-time, doing the job correctly, and staying out of trouble/other people's business, I get exactly zero recognition at work. Meanwhile, grown adults who act like fucking children get awards, bonuses, and are 'loved' by everyone else. All of the women there are whores, too.

All of my friends have abandoned me (from middle, high, and even university), and my 'family' doesn't even check if I'm still alive.

I've been single since 2005; I'm currently 30, and no one even wants to be near me. Even gay men treat me the same as straight women do. Even trans-people, despite being told they're being 'oppressed' or whatever, have no problem in talking down to me, bumping into me without excusing themselves, and generally treating me like shit.

I recently failed a very big, very important language test (the results from which could have been used for employment purposes), despite having studied for it for the last 3 years. I failed it with a score of 76/180. I'm not sure I even want to anymore, and the one 'friend' I had been talking to almost repeatedly for the last year proved to be nothing more than a fraud. I hate that I ever opened up to her.

At this point, I just want to play vidya, watch my shows, work, and eventually die. The only thing keeping me from an hero'ing [le epic style] is the hope that one day, I'll be able to leave this country for good and start life anew elsewhere.

Attached: 90 year life.png (1204x1904, 62K)

You're barely going to remember anything anyone says here after you get yourself some sleep.

That was meant for

I honestly feel like I'm one of the kinder people here, but still not kind enough. I'm still not good enough. I try hard, but so often I just want to fade into oblivion. I just won't allow myself to abandon those I care about. They need me. Humanity is an interconnected web of human suffering. If one section is cut, the others suffer.

ALRIGHT FUCKFACE. Character male dies next to armor/statue/casing made by crazy man who wanted to see what would happen if a soul got trapped inside of this armor casing (the armor is made of a special material which can trap souls inside of them). The guys soul gets inside of the casing and he decided that because he is a soul with a vessel (no body= no pain/ physical limitations) he can cause destruction and chaos to the world just because he cannot be stopped. An army forms to kill this powerful entity (known as blak).
And many more ins and outs, this is the simplest way of explaining it, it's a bit erratic but whatevr

WITH ME, I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S THE SAME AS BIPOLAR HYPOMANIA, DOENS'T LAST VERY LONG. MANIA IS HYPOMANIA ON STEROIDS. but no diagnosis fits me completely. I haven't been diagnosed but the symptoms such as dissociation I can't really relate to. My abondonment issises atenr very obvious either and I feel as if my emotions aren;t that extreme as I imagine them to be. I cant be bothered to correcr my botched sentences.

everytime I want to do something I just masturbate and then ruminate instead. My life is an endless cycle of this.

Cool story concepts user
Can I see some of drawings user?

Attached: tumblr_p92lyiTwua1sjbvjoo2_500 (1).png (500x500, 505K)

Literally me right now
Fap fap fap and think about ehat I should have done instead and then go back to faping again
Would usually engage in something else to distract me from fapping

Attached: zhnowk5mdmm21.jpg (2480x3508, 471K)

I don't have many. I usually doodle my concepts on my schoolwork when bored. I rarely properly draw with much effort. Here's something though.

Attached: n1c2gmws3ya41.png (640x1138, 1.09M)

I missed out on life. That shit was extremely expensive and extremely hot. And I'm fucking pissed. Other than that it's going exactly as planned.

If anyone here knows who I am, suck my dick.

I'm feeling lonely but too introverted to make any meaningful connections. I've ignored all my friends because they only call and I only want to text. Now they don't call anymore. I message them sometimes but it seems like they only reply to be nice. They never try to message me first. I only have one friend to hang out with because he smokes weed. If I quit smoking then we have no reason to hang out. I only hang out with 1 person at a time because if there are more I get nervous and don't talk much and then the other people just talk to eachother. I don't go to parties because of this. It doesn't really bother me much but sometimes I get lonely. I just need one friend to hang out with a few times a week. I'm not interested in online friends

I saw a psychiatrist about my introversion/anxiety problem and they just give me antidepressants that don't help. I stayed on them for 3 months and there was no difference so I stopped. I guess I'm well enough to not get the meds I need and bad enough to let anxiety run my life. I'm just normal enough so that dealing with stress is harder for me than the average person and I doctors tell me to just deal with it. I should have lied and told them I have panic attacks so they would give me some fucking meds to get me through a work day. I think I have some mild autism or something because loud noises (people talking, loud trucks, etc) annoy me and I've noticed it doesn't bother other people. I also have this weird anxiety thing where my dick gets half chub when I'm standing up around people and they sometimes notice and it's fucking embarrassing

I hate myself and everybody else, especially when I have to sit and listen to them talk while I'm on break. I fucking hate people so god damn much and hate that I need them to not feel lonely. I had a friend like this that was like 20 years older than me but he died last year. He was just like me. It's been hard to find another friend like that

Attached: 99UhRRI.jpg (639x781, 71K)

None fit me either. I stopped trying to fit in with any sort of diagnosis (I still suspect a few but I keep it to myself), stopped absolutely all drug use, started exercising and I haven't had a full-blown episode in a long time. I think you should have fun researching the neurology behind those illnesses (and psychosis) and the little we know about the interactions that occur with our neurotransmitters. The DSM and mental illness diagnoses are really just things to help you frame your behavior and adapt appropriately. Now I just have insomnia to deal with every now and then. Dosing up on CBD for those nights helps me out a lot. Learning from my uncle's experience with therapists helped a lot too.

If you're gonna look for someone. Find a person that cares about you, not about having you, or a boyfriend.

Have any identity issues? I struggle with being unique in a likable way so I resort to copying interesting people. BEING RETARDED SUCSK

Cool user
But why does he have alot of zits

You can find me in the street

This was for the BPD guy, if you're not him/her then.. do what you want.

It's a burned bubbly affect, like blisters. I'm aware it's unrealistic.

Nice best waifu pic

>loud noises (people talking, loud trucks, etc) annoy me and I've noticed it doesn't bother other people
Yes I find it very annoying too but not always
I just have to distract myself in thought

You got any drawings about armor one

Indeed

Attached: 1575966741510.jpg (429x429, 48K)

I can't think when I hear people talking. My brain focuses on everything they say. I have a hard time not focusing on people when they're in my line of sight (like when I'm standing in line or sitting next to someone) and they notice

None. I originally came up with a design ages ago when I was just a kid. I wrote stories on Instagram and found a picture which suited a character I was using (similar to the armor guy aka blak). I only have an idea for his face though. It's similar to the guy fawkes mask but with a smaller face and the head looking bigger, also has a large forehead. All in black.

Have you considered that you might be a bit spergy?

>I think I have some mild autism

Probably do, the HF ones can go undiagnosed thinking they have normal people anxiety for their entire lives. Next time just say you have panic attacks then pick up some concepts from CBT strategies and try them out yourself so you don't have to rely on just the meds. As a fellow autist I know you don't like to lie but everyone does it.

FUCK. I DIDN'T READ

>...the way it should?
I believe my life will go whatever way it wants, unless I personally do something to improve it.

Which I am, and as of right now it's going pretty great. In the US for a majority of people, with respects to income mobility, I'm in a way better position. Once I get a job with my Mechanical Engineering bachelors degree, I'll instantly enter a new tax bracket, will be single, is free to go anywhere in the United States to live (Alaska sounds cool), and thanks to my Post 911 GI Bill, I have ZERO student loans. Hell, I'm close to paying off my brand new car, and that's BEFORE I get this job.

All I need is a wife who's worthwhile, and I'm living the literal dream.

With all that being said: I think it's presumptuous to assume everyone wants to live the "typical" dream life where they're at a position where their life is "the way it should be." Although living a life like mine where I'm mere months away from living is ideal, what's important is that you're constantly trying to better yourself, and those you care about. That's what being successful and living a better life means.

Attached: anus duck.jpg (665x466, 47K)

Anymore drawings

Yes it's because of the anxiety. I'm always tense and irritable even when I'm alone. My dad was a huge sperg and it cost him everything. When he got mad it was exactly like an autistic kid, he would scream and yell like a 2 year and start crying. I used to think that "reeeeee" thing was just a meme but I can see how being mad enough someone like me could do weird shit like that. He would do good but about every 6 months he would have a major breakdown and quit his job. This eventually cost him his marriage.

Meds would be nice. Maybe next time I'll try lying like other pieces of shit do

>I think it's presumptuous to assume everyone wants to live the "typical" dream life where they're at a position where their life is "the way it should be." Although living a life like mine where I'm mere months away from living is ideal, what's important is that you're constantly trying to better yourself, and those you care about. That's what being successful and living a better life means
Based and thank you
Too many people are trying to lived the same mundane goal and then realize they fucked up

Fixing my life is possible, but I can't do it. I need therapy, gym, and to study more. But my lazy ass can't. Living in a sheltered, only son environment made me an useless bum.

this is all

Attached: zhuacm5846b41.jpg (640x1138, 69K)

I can't escape the feeling that I haven't made the most of my life in college. Now that I am in my senior (?) year, I feel useless and helpless knowing I can't change the past. About a year and a half of the three and a half years so far was marred by a medication that I was on. Throughout my time, I had weight issues. I'm still a virgin. I don't function as much as I'd like, though I'm a world away from where I was ten months ago.

Don't focus in what you haven't achieved, focus on how far you have accomplished already.

Start with exercise. Cardio in particular is great for depression and getting that reward center in your brain working properly again. Walk if you're too fat to run without your knees hurting then do 15 minutes of studying after cooling down. Increase frequency over the course of several months. Baby steps

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 10 years ago. I was medicated 6 years ago against my will. They literally dragged me into a solitary confinement room and stuck a needle in my ass. I spent two years locked in a hospital. I was dying for a cigarette the whole time. When I got out I was lucky to find my own place on government subsidy. I feel like my life was taken away from me. But I had some friends and my family was understanding.

If I was medicated sooner I probably wouldn’t have been homeless, gotten into street fights, and been 20 pounds underweight.

That being said, I’m in my second year of college, I have an apartment with a music studio, friends that know and understand about my illness, and I’m in better shape than I was 10 years ago.

Attached: 08E03640-660C-46FC-AB06-F20D20E6B5AA.jpg (480x640, 26K)

I guess that's one thing to think. Ten months ago, I was unrecognizable, at least from what I remember and what people tell me. I was 10-15 lbs heavier and had sleep apnea and very unusual sleep patterns, and my depression/anxiety was MUCH worse. Now I'm doing way more than I ever thought was possible.

Were they at least humane/respectful of your dignity?

2 fucking years in a hospital? That must have been absolute hell. I spent 3 days there for psychotic depression but feel lucky that I was cognizant enough to answer their silly discharge questions so I could get the hell out. I remember feeling terrible for this one schizophrenic who would spend all day talking to hallucinations by the water cooler... and the people that would just rock back and forth in the dayroom.

I've been underweight for 10+ years. I'm currently 20-30 lbs underweight. High metabolism doesn't help. I'm 6'1" and about 140 lbs.

I was in a mental hospital once. Self admitted to get a diagnosis. They diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and sent me on my way. Fucking bastards. I have to lie to get the meds I need and it's fucking bullshit. Makes me want to break shit. Glad you're doing better though

My workplace is a 10 minute walk from the bus stop. Guess that is not enough, but I rather be home and play or watch games. I have angered colleagues for my absurd laziness. I also have no friends and much less relationship. When I am home I only feel lonely when I am not distracted on the phone. I don't approach people because I feel I am being an annoyance.

I have no ambitions, no desires or anything in my life. There is nothing that really makes me happy. I spend my days sitting in my room bored, even though there are a million things to do. It's not like I dont want to do those things, I just lack the energy to do them. Lately I have stopped eating properly, I only eat when the pain of my empty stomach gets to much to ignore. Drinking helps, but I dont want to be an alcoholic.
Sometimes I feel like asking for help, but I'm scared my friends won't understand, my family for sure wouldn't. So I keep on living in this misery, lying about still going to university and acting as if I'm alright. I'm not suicidal, that seems like a retarded thing to do, but dont want to keep living like that.

This is textbook depression. Do you live in an area where you can get treatment?

>rather be home and play or watch games
>When I am home I only feel lonely when I am not distracted on the phone

But I'm sure you know that you can only life this kind of lifestyle for so long until the depression deepens and you realize you're 30 but in the same place you were 10 years ago. Let the anxiety kick in and fuel you to change. Friends will happen when you stop living in a bubble of self-imposed isolation and contentedness. Video games are giving you that feeling of false reward that you should start seeking from real life

Here's my self reflection. I was thinking about telling my friends I think I have some form of autism. I feel like they'll think I'm just making excuses for being distant with them. Is it a good idea to tell them I'm struggling with anxiety? I'm just scared to lose my last friends left. I just started drinking a minute ago and thought of this

>I feel like they'll think I'm just making excuses for being distant with them. Is it a good idea to tell them I'm struggling with anxiety?
Depends how much you trust them and how genuine your friendship is
>I'm just scared to lose my last friends left.
Things come and go

>Let the anxiety kick in and fuel you to change.
One of my largest problems is I don't know what to change.

i have a job but really nothing else to do with my life. spend time on the computer because otherwise i wouldn't do anything else with my free time. feels like im in purgatory honestly.

Attached: 1554047143412.png (720x720, 261K)

I'm this person

Do you mind sharing some experiences from your hospital stay? They had to inject me with something as well, but it was done very differently. I sort of manipulated my way into getting the doctor's attention (by talking to the psychologist in front of the main charge nurse) and as I expected he came into my room one night, said "(your name) I'm just going to give you a little shot..." and gave it to me in the midst of a full blown panic attack then left without saying a word. I was able to answer the discharge questions the next day. I seriously am curious what other peoples stays were like, because just those 3 days were hell on my mind...

I'm slowly but surely becoming a coomer irl and my whole family knows that but I'm too embarrassed to talk about it to them/friends.
I've read article after article about how jacking off can destroy your body if you do it too much.
Here's the thing though, if I don't jack it I become angry then depressed then mad again.
My plan for the future is after I get enough money and time I'm going back to my amish roots. I know how to plant from potatoes to sunflowers and I know basic hunting skills.
I'm just worried if the fapping takes over me it's gonna stop my future and put it in the trash.

Attached: hudson_river_school-trivium-art-history.jpg (2000x1274, 944K)

I've been friends with them for 6-7 years but I'm such an autist I only call/text them when I want or need something. I've never talked with them about anything serious like this I'm always just joking around and being stupid. I feel like an asshole but that's just who I am. I'm also a massive pussy and don't want them to think I'm a faggot for getting emotional with them. I just don't understand how other people think because they never talk about it, they just assume I think like them I guess

>you realize you're 30 but in the same place you were 10 years ago.
Also, this has already happened to me at 20. I am 25 now. But instead of school it's a job I hate. But it's the best job I can imagine for me, help desk for an office. I mostly just goof off, but because I am the only guy who learns how the systems work I can fix most problems and people think I am very competent at the job. I am just good at Google and RTFM.

I spent 3 days too. It was pretty boring for me. There was a lady that would scream all hours of the night, the beds were uncomfortable, and my roommate farted in his sleep. Other than that it was just nurses waking me up at 4 AM to check my vitals every day. They never gave me any shots, but this one guy was withdrawing from opiates and was screaming and begging them to give him a shot

I live in a big city in Germany, shouldnt be that much of an issue. But isnt that stuff like expensive? I have no clue about that stuff.

>I've been friends with them for 6-7 years but I'm such an autist I only call/text
Hmm just try to be the host next time
Simple as sharing a drink together
>I'm a faggot for getting emotional with them.
Real men wear pink user
You'll never have a deep connection if you never share salt together

For the most part they were respectful. I had a room to myself, so I could just read books by myself. The thing that kept me going were a few cute nurses and rec therapy girls that thought I was nice.

>I spent 3 days too. It was pretty boring for me.

The difference is probably that my commitment was involuntary. They actually transported me from the main hospital to the psych ward on a strapped down bed despite not showing a hint of violent or suicidal tendencies. I'd let someone close drive me to the hospital because I knew I was losing my mind (hadn't slept for 5 days straight, almost vomited when trying to eat, dissociating randomly) and I hoped to be brought to an outpatient facility but the doctor himself never spoke to me, just my friend. Decided that he needed to "watch me for a while longer" and then I was in the cuckoo's nest absolutely fucking panicked. I got worse before I got better.

At least they gave me a roommate that was normal besides suicidal tendencies. Apparently she got thrown in because she did a CBT thought log on suicide.

So the story of how I got medication was that when they got there they told me I was going to be medicated, and I refused treatment. After a few months they told me I had to appear in court at a consent incapacity hearing. Basically I had to fight for my right to consent to treatment in front of a judge. I lost. They brought me back to the hospital and let me play video games. Just before meal time as I left the entertainment room, I saw the doctor standing in front of the door with about 15 to 20 nurses and security staff. The doctor asked me are you going to take medication. I said no. They grabbed me by both arms as I dragged my feet. I was put into a room like the one in the picture I posted originally. There was a small mat, and they pushed me face down on it. I guess I should’ve assumed they were going to needle me at this point. I couldn’t see behind me and about four people were pinning me down, arms and legs. They exposed my sweet keister and jabbed me with a two inch needle in the ass. Then everybody got up and left and someone told me to stay there. I noticed someone dropped a black sharpie, which I think was a test to see if I would misbehave. I just hope they wouldn’t lock me in there for the rest of the day or more. After about 20 minutes, a nurse came in and said they were gonna let me out. A couple days later, they let me outside on the hospital grounds for the first time in three months since I was admitted.

Attached: 1576203084678.jpg (1024x601, 77K)

The only other really entertaining story that I can tell is about when I was put into solitary confinement. This was before I was medicated. I made a friend at the hospital and we worked on some poetry. He said he wanted to take the phones back to his room to copy into his notebook. A couple hours later I asked for the poems back. He said he threw them out, so I started yelling at him. After a while I called down, and the doctor came to talk to me. He says to me you can’t be yelling, and I was all defiant and like I can yell as much as I want. It’s freedom of speech. So I was marching up and down the halls and a huff because I was pissed at what the doctor said. I turn the corner, and there’s a small army of security guards. The doctors there and he says to me you’re we’re taking you to seclusion. Right as I protested and said no, they grabbed me and dragged me to a solitary confinement room. Everything is padded there’s a camera, a window, a door and a bed. I was in there for six days. They kept offering me Ativan, but I refused. One night they kept the lights on while I was trying to sleep, so I jerked off while looking at the camera. The other parts I remember are calling a nurse Italian swear words, yelling for my toothbrush constantly, and having to piss in the Styrofoam cups because they wouldn’t let me out to use the toilet.

My life is horrible and has been for most of my life.
My life is not going anywhere. I'm having a hard time taking care of myself now.
I need a better environment, the removal of several family-related responsibilities combined with an adequate plan, and someone to help take care of me while we do it. There are many things to do after that but I need those things first.

Why did you refuse treatment?

>One night they kept the lights on while I was trying to sleep, so I jerked off while looking at the camera.

Fucking lol. Almost wish I would've done that. I tried to let on that I didn't know where the cameras were to keep the appearance of compliance. I just kept pretending that I thought my bathroom light was a clap light and kept clapping tunes until they turned it on.

I tried meds a few years before and got a lot of side effects like dizziness and sedation. I felt like a zombie.

In the nursing station, you can view the monitor with the solitary room camera, and you can also see it from the hall where you can roam freely. When someone is in seclusion there’s a person monitoring it 24/7.

Also did they keep trying to set you up with people to talk to? They did that to me and it fucked with my head even more. I'd told the psychologist something about my mom, then the next time I awoke I walk out to this setup with a patient further gone than I was with a nurse next to him who told me "your mom's an angel." It made me seriously believe she was dead despite knowing that he can't possibly know anything about my mom.

Mfw

Did you cum too in front of the camera?

I would've fapped for the camera too kek

That makes it even better

Also shitty of them to keep your light on. The nurses there do get a little abusive to difficult patients

Yeah money shot and all. I even licked my fingers. I have a good guess who the nurse was that watched it happen because of the look on his face the day after.

honestly it could be worse, but i really probably should be doing more than just getting high and hoping my plans will work out as long as i save money. especially like trying to help my family while i still live with them instead of just letting them take of me while i wait to get my own place.

I will not masturbate again.

Maybe at some places. Where I was at there was this old woman that would get mad and scream at staff over every little thing. They just treated her like a special snowflake and only gave her a shot when she wouldn't sleep for 2 days straight. When they finally gave her the shot she just went to her room and slept

Hahaha that's awesome. Big props for finishing lmao

(psychotic depression dude) I also didn't want antipsychotics. When you're going loony your memory is fucked in all sorts of weird ways in the moment. Antipsychotics themselves also tend to have effects on your memory and cognition and I just wanted something to sleep so I could get my mind right that way. I just let the doctor do what he had to so I could gtfo sooner. I don't think it's uncommon for people to refuse meds because they want to stay who they are.

Insurance probably covers it

That's good. I've heard some places (usually drug rehabs) look up patients' butts and things like that, but by the looks of it it sounds like they didn't do that where you were.

How old were you? That's nuts. Are you in the US?

No one talked to me before I was medicated because I refused treatment. After medication there were daily check ins to make sure I wasn’t plotting my suicide or going to hurt another patient.

Lol I just remembered the best story. So one day this nurse asks me if I will do a psychological risk analysis. All I have to do is answer questions on paper and do an interview with a psychologist. That’s not the bad part. After doing the risk analysis, they wanted to do a penile plecismograph test. I asked about what that was and they said a rubber ring is put over the penis and you watch videos. I’m thinking, oh great they want to see if I’m a pedo. I refused. They wanted to show me videos of kids playing with a hose and see if I got a boner. Fuck that noise.

Sounds like they should be guillotined.

Attached: 1253505388536.jpg (542x428, 22K)

Does 3D count?

Attached: Shirogane Asuka.jpg (1001x1500, 79K)

Fucking lol again. Somehow I get the feeling that you're an awesome dude to hang out with these days

what the hell man. glad you didn't get suckered into that one

Cute but 2D>3D

Attached: 37340c7fa415d533770aad4cfe8caa4a.jpg (600x848, 63K)

>Somehow I get the feeling that you're >an awesome dude to hang out with >these days
I share the feels

I think my life is on a good track, yeah. I've seperated myself from my abusive and addicted hometown, I've made new friends in the city, I'm going to move with some of them to a different city to start practicing sharing resources and living more communally. My music career is doing amazingly with my new job and first album on the way, my love life is shit but that's ok because I'm still learning a lot about myself and don't want to settle for the wrong person

No real complaints here. I spent these last week's having some tough conversations with some people who aren't treating me well, and I know what needs to be done to get myself to a better place

The power is always our own, anons. I never thought I could become a person who took care of my own well-being this much

Don't be hard on yourself

Good to hear.

>My music career

What do you play or produce?

I honestly wish I knew. Early 30s here. I'm not in a horrible spot but wish I knew exactly what I wanted in terms of a career. Currently work in IT and get paid decently, live alone, would rather be around more people as weird as that sound? Not just for friendships or dating but professional networking too. Like be a part of a startup or company that's world-renown. I want to also make more memories like when you had some of the best times hanging out with friends or when you go on that first date with that chick even if it didn't work out.
Idk...I think loneliness is kicking in. But I'm thankful for good health, few but good friends, good memories and a roof over my head. I just wish I knew what the fuck to do, maybe move to a major city where there's a heavier population. Anyone experience this? Will being around more people even if complete strangers cure loneliness?

I'm on Cred Forums all day pretty much because life is going to shit. I keep finding rabbit holes to go down, and fuck me user if they aren't worth it, but still. Job hunting fucking sucks, I can't seem to get motivation to much else while I keep the daily grind of apply > wait.

Attached: 5b4f64d3059110dbe20088c64ef9972de4b6bb2f624cce22188bfb01d810c4bc.png (821x827, 750K)

I don't understand the apply and wait thing. I always get temp warehouse/factory jobs in 2-3 days (they hire anyone)

I'm an indie producer for the last 9 years and I make a lot of different genres and styles and collaborate with different Artists and friends. I recently got invited to work with a studio out of NC and I'm helping them to write songs, and they have me sing for all the tracks the studio is trying to sell. We then market the songs off to Nashville for record labels to pick up ^^

I never thought Id get this far just making silly songs about world of Warcraft, or quitting cigs, or songs about tacos or drinking coffee during a nuclear war

I guess they saw something in my art :)
I had my first performance at an anime convention just this last November. Was always more of a basement producer but I'm trying to get out there more

Attached: 1551764604822.png (1054x526, 69K)

it's never too late to immerse yourself in community, user. we are inherently social animals, we need each other