How to stop hating myself?

How to stop hating myself?

cuz I'll be honest I hate myself so fucking much bros I deliberately do things against my own self interest because that's all I know how to do. I like sleeping, that's it. I want out.

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Smoke weed and reflect about the GOOD things of you. Maybe you are not aware how good you are but weed helps a lot. And then build the perfect version of yourself in your mind and write it on paper. Hang this paper on a wall and try EVERY DAY to be that perfect version of yourself. Your mental state will improve a lot. But first step is getting really stoned.

You have a vision of your own ideal self, and you torture yourself with your constant failure to live up to that ideal. You suffer from the failing of believing that if you can't be that ideal self in its entirety, then there's no point in pursuing it, even though attempting to realize even a small fraction of it would make you a better and more respectable person.

You have a vision in your mind of a person that is fit, and healthy, and well dressed, and successful, and well spoken, and dignified, and graceful, and talented, and you want so badly to be that person, but you don't know how to get from where you are to where you could be, or you assume there are insurmountable obstacles in your way.

Nothing is insurmountable. You may need to make sacrifices. You may need to suffer. You may need to expose yourself to things that make you uncomfortable, or even terrify you. You will almost certainly need to fail. You will fail and fail and fail and build yourself up a little bit after every failure until 10 years from now, you will look back on the person you are today and say "Look how far I've come."

Or maybe you'll half-ass it, and give up. And you'll look back and say "If only I had really applied myself back then, then there might have been some hope. It's too late for me, now."

Which is stupid. Sure, it may be harder to exercise, you may have been hit with some of the tragedies of life like illness or loved ones leaving or dying, you may have lost some of your youthful appeal, but consider the following: A 60 year old man held the record time for an Ultra Marathon for 20 years. Women tend to prefer men that are 5-8 years older than them. As long as you work diligently, you are guaranteed to be richer and more competent 10 years from now than you are right now.

Decide what is important to you. Figure out what you want. Not the minor, shallow wants of the moment - "I want to go out to eat. I want to play video games. I want a girlfriend." Change that to "I want to be comfortable in my finances, and have a career that allows me to have free time for hobbies. I want someone to share my life with, who will share with me in turn and make me a better person."

I'm not OP but this resonates with me.

I avoid suffering. I'm afraid - of living, essentially. Also I have been diagnosed with ASD recently (I'm 21). How can you tell a person that to be their ideal self they'll have to do things that terrifies them, that they'll fail a lot, and only reach the goal 10 years from now?

Every fucking body half-asses it. Do you see diligent, ethical people on the world worrying about the lives of others and how to make a positive impact on the community etc.?

All I see are games. Social games. Power games. Manipulation. I want out of it.

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you see only what your looking for

I was in the same seat as you a few years ago. I got over when I matured more and accepted the way I am. It's ok too. Dont hate yourself or look for a way out. Itll only hurt everyone you know and met.

Only retards get stoned. I knew somebody who got stoned heavily and then got jittery and incredibly nervous along with high anxiety.

what is the way you are? I act like a loser, i don't believe that its me at the core. I just don't know how to get out.

Start lifting weights.

What a fascinating and informative insight bub.

The key and the ONLY way is to learn to like and accept yourself. Start by refusing to ever say negative things about yourself. When you master that, move on to not entertaining thinking bad things about yourself, then move on to others. Not new age bullshit my friend and it does work I promise.

What else do you hate besides yourself? Why are you so weak?

This is terrible advice and it is a guaranteed way to stay a loser.

there's too much of this self love and self knowledge going around. i'm going to take a different approach to this.


maybe, perchance, this self hate, is something that should not be fought. it might be better to hear it out a little.


self hate may be a perversion of humility. it may be the internal pain of something being off, and a warning that something needs addressed.


it's probably a good thing that we all dislike ourselves, at least a bit. it's human. not to do so is delusional, perhaps sociopathic, or to calm ourselves into an ignorant slumber of acceptance that juxtaposes basic reality.

Agreed.

Leave your comfort zone and experience new things. You don't hate yourself; you hate what you have become, and there is no better way to become something you hate less than to find what it is that you take pride in and enjoy doing

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ily

I want to be comfortable in my own skin, around new people in new places.
I have tried forcing myself into uncomfortable situations and that helped for minute until I realized that I wasn't improving at all. I was just being humored along for laughs.

How do I regain the ability to trust? Trust others as well as myself?

I want to be comfortable in my own skin, around new people in new places.
I have tried forcing myself into uncomfortable situations and that helped for minute until I realized that I wasn't improving at all. I was just being humored along for laughs.

How do I regain the ability to trust? Trust others as well as myself?

>build yourself up a little bit after every failure
incoming failure rate exceeds capacity
what do E?

False. I wasn't looking to isolated and ostracized by people pretending to be friends.

Are you me?
Games are the name of the game now bro.
I want out too, just can't let fam live to see it.

youtube.com/watch?v=2oLdlthQZcg

I too avoid suffering, my bodhisattva. There's solid advice here but nothing I haven't done multiple times. All I hear is do this, do that (((again))). No thanks.

>games
Don't forget semantics.
Talk means to audibly speak, not a broad term for communication in general. You have to ask the right questions even when dealing with your oldest 'friends'. 'Family friends'

If you ever noticed that doing small things, having small successes and just doing things daily in a some what structured life did make feel you different?
It'll be the same again, you just can't stop, take no breaks, continue.
If you can't do this yourself or offer this structure yourself, then you need help from people that can.

Anxiety is best dealt with in small doses and overcoming small fears unrelated to massive complexes will help you and how the baseline for your perception and consciousness is, you just have to ever add more and more positive reinforcement and there is a good off chance that you need to put in a lot more positive reinforcement than you experienced negative reinforcement, this is also why you can't take breaks from the structure you build up, much like an addict, be it mental or mental and physical, just spending a short time in the same sloth, loathe, dirt, hole and prison you always built yourself, will magically trigger and turn all the shit tier coping mechanisms you developed while all this happened.

>again
What if negative reinforcement is disguised as positive reinforcement? What if people tell you they can and will help you get where you want to be but they were lying to you? What then? Keep trying the same shit with the same results? Nope.
>((((my dude))))

What if I agree completely with what you're saying and felt this way 10 years ago?

What if I trusted some people because I was at rock bottom and needed help but they just fucked with me?
What then?

What do you suggest?
>((((my dude))))

Well the thing is, you can not pick untrustworthy people, if paranoia the issue, then you that might be tougher but hopefully you know that there are funded resources, while in the US per state those might be harder to come by, I know that at least in quite a few states there's extensive resources, especially for younger people.
You need to stop making this about experienced ill from people, it'll just fuck everything up, can not bring anything positive to this situation and ultimately has nothing to do with the kind of resources and people you have to put your trust in, if those are not your family or friends, that's okay, there are others, the hardest part is finding the right one for you, especially since a good part of them might be mediocre.

Depression can be an extremely crippling disease, from what I'm reading I'm just guessing here that it's a major depressive disorder where you barely function? There's never an easy way out and the easiest way out is if someone else is a white knight in shining armor and forces, dominates people to take part in life and have structure, there's no good answers to that, most resources will only help you so far and you will need to build up coping skills and then just keep what you are doing as soon as it's positively affecting you.

Also positive reinforcement will not disguise itself as the other, it is something that happens and changes you, like children when we pretend to be something and then become it, mimicry, imitation are good ways tho they are quickly lost to us as soon as we are grownups and gain different self worth issues than those we had when we were still full of magical thoughts about how stuff worked.

There is medication, there are drugs that can help cope, under no circumstance ever should you ever do any depressants again, especially alcohol, tho low dosage alcohol won't trigger it's depressant effects due to how it interacts.

In any case you're going to have to overcome your shadow and odd worries or anxieties about giving up freedom and choice to fuck your life however you want if you chose to get help, this most likely will include drugs for a while and a lot of things that might be fun and were a coping mechanism you had when you weren't at rock bottom, but they will slowly lead you there unless you are a in a completely stable life.

>cannot pick untrustworthy people
>need to stop making this about experienced ill form people

choose one

the self is an illusion

>anxieties about giving up freedom and choice to fuck you life
what

These 'people' were ones I had known since grade school, one since preK. The others promote themselves as friendly, helpful people.
How exactly did I choose untrustworthy people?

>experienced ill from people has nothing to do with putting your trust in people
It's got everything to do with it.

Healthcare providers, special institutions, organizations to help, live in things, things with supervision, supervised apprenticeships and so on, if you can't trust those people that's okay, but generally for adults they're a safe bet and often audited/controlled because they get money from the government.

A lot of people would be anxious about going to a hospital, going to an organization that offers therapy and apprenticeships or have someone who comes by and helps with the most basic things.

There is giving up freedom involved in many of these things to varying degrees, but I think I'm out of this conversation, it's a bit too argumentative and I suspect you're OP in both cases

I really don't care about your past there, I was pretty clear that it was an imperative for the future, but I'm just gonna escape this shit show now.
Faggot, just go kill yourself, it'll be better than gracing the world with an insufferable cunt on a semi manic episode.

I'm not OP and not trying to argue. I chose these people to because I thought I could trust them enough to be vulnerable and try to improve myself.

How do I regain the ability to trust anyone is what I'm asking.