The feels bar is now open early. Let everything off your chest user

The feels bar is now open early. Let everything off your chest user.

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Kinda lonely I guess. I got friends but only one is close. And I feel like people don't take me seriously, well that is kinda my fault( I joke around a lot)

Anything you wanna say OP?

I am deeply dredged in anxiety. I hate it.

I want to wallow, cry, never leave the shower and just sleep all day.

But I have to go to work, and that's it terrible.

I just hate living to work, to pay bills, so I have a place to sleep before going back to work so I can pay bills. adnauseam.

I dont feel suicidal and I have a great partner that I love. But I feel like a failer. I don't support her as much as I wish I could.

I feel like my life is going nowhere, untimely for nothing. And my biggest regret is not providing a better life for her.

We are both damaged people with horrible childhoods. We work on our selfs and try and be the best we can.

But I still find my self in this deep dark hole.

Living a life of silent desperation.

I wanna die but I dont want to experience death. I just want to fade from existence. I wish God would simply erase me from his memory and I would no longer exist. No heaven nor hell just fade away. I have a serious addiction that's affecting how I operate with ppl and it's taken its toll

Whenever i tell myself that im a good person and dont deserve all this self hate, i dont really believe it.

>welp, it's friday in japan somewhere so...


i just feel like dying quite simply, there's no particular reasoning and i dont even feel depressed anymore really i guess if anything i just feel like seeing what happens afterwards

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well, i got a gf and things were really great at the start, but i kinda carve hugs and kisses, and i don't feel important to her, it's like i am an addition to her life...it hurts, because i really like the chick, and she is smart and plays vidya etc.

Why is everyone so fucking dumb ?

Why don't they take you seriously?

Ok, I have a great life: great job, the car I wanted, the house I wanted (even better than I wanted), friends, I'm good looking, smart, very social, etc. So basically I have everything going for me.

However, I've been with my gf for 6 years now and I for a long time now, I don't love her anymore. I care for her and on paper we make the perfect couple, but I miss the thrills of being single, chatting up women, fucking women. So sometimes I go to sex sauna's or parking places where men, women and couples come and I finger or fuck a girl. It satisfies my needs but at the same time I'll feel down for about a week. The last couple of years I've been thinking if this fading away of my feelings for a girl will happen with every girl or if I should break up and look for somebody else.

And why don't you believe it?

I love art like that pic. Wether it’s a drawing, sketch, or painting. Any other examples? Especially ones with the same vibe?

Know the feeling user. Not fucked any one else but kissed a couple of women. I love my girlfriend, we have a great life but I just feel so empty.

If you cant be honest with her about your feelings, you shouldnt be in a long-term relationship with her. Suggest that you either come clean, or break up. Otherwise one day youll look back with regret and realize its all a lie.

Yep, there no more fun to fill the empty. What are your thoughts about leaving/staying?

My logical brain wants to believe it, but deep down it just doesn't feel true.

Being honest with her means breaking up with her. I think?

And that's the whole problem. You see, on paper we have a great relationship. She's hot, has a good job and makes good money, I get along with her family very well, she's absolutely loves me and would never leave me. Heck, if I'd confess the shit I did, she probably wouldn't even care.

And that's the problem. Everything is so boring and steady. But then I think: don't you get to this stage with every girl? Of course I could break up and find another girl, but will I find myself in the same situation 4 years from now?

I was there once, still kind of am, but trust me trying to kill yourself is sooo hard and of course really scary. I tried it twice, I got caught and I got sent to a psychiatric hospital for about a month. And surprisingly it helps, I was with a few other people who've also attempted suicide. Idk something about being around people who genuinely know what it's like to be in such a low place that you just wanted to end, just helps. They just understood the seriousness of your situation I guess

I'm alone 5 times a week and the only person I talk to is the old man who delivers my food. I used to date all sorts of girls when I was younger(considering I'm not good looking) and some were really beautiful. Nowadays I can't even talk to women, I'm still atracted to their bodies and all but I just can't engage in a conversation with them anymore, I just can't pretend I care about them and I guess they can see that. It's hard even to maintain a friendship with them. Most of my friends are dating/married and have kids and I can't even talk with the opposite sex anymore. What the fuck happened

I make jokes a lot and I'm generally an easy going kinda guy. I don't really show anything beyond my easy going and somewhat joyful attitude. So when shit hit the fan and I was really depressed, no one knew I wasn't joking or how serious my problem was.

i want to make overtime so i can do a downpayment on a house.

i want a cute japanese gf

I hate people in the U.S. for being so influenced by the media. I cant even hold a convorsation with someone about immigration without hearing "dey terk er jerbs", when truthfully immigrants and refugees own more small businesses than native born citizens (percentile) and are far more entrepreneurial than native citizens. This blatant right wing propaganda splattered on main stream media is slowing down progress and if you disagree go to your HR department and request how many workers are at your job with greencards or secondary citizenship, chances are itll be less than 10 out of 10,000

Well if youre a part of a generation thats been told all your life to value the differences among people as opposed to valuing your immediate community you tend to focus inwardly (not selfish, but existential) and regard the propagation of the human race as a personal endeavor for those who want it. Millennials ae the forefront of paused reflection in the word right now, more people are waiting to "want" family or relationships rather than going with the typical mode when unprepared.

Sept 2018 hip replacement. Dec 2018 break up with gf of 5 years. Lose house and dog too. Jan 2019 start again. Feb 2019 find out one of my closest friends is banging my ex not sure how far back. Feb 2019 grandfather has a stroke, tries to kill himself and has to be put into care. Nov 2019 lose my job. Dec 2019 tear a tendon in my shoulder and have to wait for surgery. 2020: still live alone with no job, an arm that doesn't work properly. Can't train because finances and constant pain (still waiting on shoulder surgery). Still looking for work. I went from having it all to having fuck all. Gotta keep trying right?