Hey user. When was the last time you had sex?

f

i've never had sex

Take a girl out on date, tell her you're not looking for a relationship.
GEE WHIZ THAT WAS HARD.

Monday morning

Sunday

Before yesterday

that gets me nowhere

do you just invite her over after first date? i don't live alone though, so even that is not an option

night before yesterday

>sex

I go on date sites (ex. Tinder, plenty of fish, even reddit boards, ect.). I let girls know what I'm looking for. Friends with benefits, casual relationship. Whatever term to get the idea out. This method takes some time though but it works for me.

Go on a date, talk, see if she has any ''indoor interests''. See if you got any of those ''indoor interests'' at home, then casually mention it.
Ask her if she wants to come over and see ''indoor interesting thing'' next time.

Easiest thing is always movies, she says she likes this genre, you recommend her a better movie, ask her if she wants to come over and see it some time.
Now you got her in your house just bust out the rope and knife, or use your personality.

I just tell girls I've done a few massage courses, offer them one, already got my dick inside before they got their bra off.

Also who cares whether you live alone or not, if she's already in your house it's too late.

so its safe to assume you're at least 8/10?

Sunday, and probably next sunday as well

Don't remeber at all, may be at december

ironically 2008

January of last year. Ended up being a pregnancy scare

9 hours ago

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Does oral count? If that's the case, today. Penetration? About 4-5 days ago. 6.9

Never. Just turned 30 a few weeks ago.

With your local vicar im guessing?

doesn't sound that complicated.
i strongly feel that having your own place makes it a thousand times easier. but i dont feel like occupying even one of many apartments my family owns just to fuck a bitch from time to time. Isn't hooker a better idea?

Last saturday, will be wheeling the same girl again in tomorrow.

A couple weeks ago. Would have been more recent but I hurt my asswhole because I was being too rough.

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4 years

Fucked my wife in the vagoo last night and she sucked me off this morning.

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married, so one month ago and still no silver lining in sight

2002

When you call to get this ass 5136007270

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3 months ago. And before that, 2 years ago. And before that, 3.5 years ago.

That doesn't count the 2 hookers I've paid in the meantime, because I've been feeling so lonely.

And I'm reasonably attractive too, just have a shy personality when it comes to actually flirting with women. Never picked up a chick in real life, always met them online.

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Yesterday behind a target in my car.

Don't know, never had a hooker.
I prefer sex with lust involved.

No, with the mongolian sex slave i keep in my basement

Last night

Monday eve. Came in my wife's pussy. Her finger was in my ass and mine was in hers at the time.

Fucked my wife last night.

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last night with my wife. she is asian btw

never

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is nice to see some married people here too

most disappointing reverse image search

Bout two weeks ago. Came in wife's ass

A month and a week. It's torture bit I'm getting my file back home Monday so gone fuck for a day or two then

2009

I miss it, but it hurts like a bitch since i had a surgery on my balls as a kid. After I cum i get a searing pain in my right side, but only with sex (or when im really really turned on). Masturbation doesnt hurt, thankfully.

Last Saturday. Been sick for a while so I have been avoiding being too close to my wife so she doesnt get sick too.

June 2016. FWB after I broke up with my gf. Nothing since, not even a kiss

Yep. The sexual desert of marriage

Last week

About 4 days ago

why bro?

Last night at the Morgantown, WV glory holes, she had really soft lips and she swallowed my whole load.

Yesterday. Pic related, approximate body type of my gf. Shot an oddly thick load on her ass.

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I came in my girlfriend 3 times last night, she came a couple times too. Not lying which is a feelsgoodman. we've been pushing our sexual boundaries and enjoying each other more and more and it's been hot as fuck.

Man the harpoons

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More like a 7/10 with a good personality. I happened to be born with good people skills. I know that's not true for everybody.

so many lonely weirdos in this thread, feels bad man.

Yeah, she is fat. She has been gaining weight the last year or so. I've been more attracted to her now that her tits and ass and thighs are fuller.

When we began dating she was at least 40 lbs lighter (age 25), but she also had been a lot heaver in her teens and early 20s so she had saggy skin after losing the weight. Now shes just full and round. Love it.

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About 10 days, she usually only puts out 3 or 4 times a month, married life bro

night before last. gf and I live together.

Yesterday, with my gf.

Right? Contrary to belief married people like to fuck too

Sunday. Wife only puts out once a week... on the weekends only... and she procrastinates until her last possible moment. So, every sunday night. Nothing says I love you like resentment sex. I never realized she'd have zero interest in sex after getting married and popping out a couple kids.

November. Had a breakup and I always stay sexless for 6 months or more even if I get the chance, because I hate women and can't suffer the idea of going back to phase 1 after breaking up with somebody. Hate whores, won't pay for sex, won't go out in any hunt, won't interact with them.
I'll probably find somebody to fuck after springtime, when the pain from memory will be gone, and my grief upon female gender will be lower. Until then, no sex for me. Can't give nothing positive to anybody.

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... fucking amerilards. Why do I have to see this after lunch?

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6 years ago. Been married for 10.

Damn... thought I had it bad. What happened?

3 months ago but i had to wear a condom so it didnt count.

Jesus. Get a damn divorce already. Or a side chick.

I've been married forever and we still fuck every day. Never gone more than 4 days without except when the kids were born or one of us was out of town.

No just a faggot.

She's yummy

You should always wear a condom with a chick unless you're in a monogamous relationship. It's your fault that STDs are spreading like they are, fag.

Uterus cancer and HS in her thighs made sex basically painful, gross and unpleasant. Luckily, I am so depressed and out of shape now I no longer care. Just glad she's alive.

not even that user but that thing is a total boner killer. I feel jack at all.

Pref a good blowjob if I have to wear one. Who the hell cares about the spreading, the important is to make sure you don't fuck with hobos and junkies.

Sex just isn't that important to me.

Well damn. Sorry about that bro. Good luck.

I'm not a faggot, I use guys to relieve myself, but what I actually like is women

That is fucking disgusting, how do you even get turned on or cum with that.

26 and going strong.
I'm not letting no whore get in between me and my wizard powers.

Thanks bud

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I cannot relate at all. It's literally the most important thing to me.

If I lost my dick I would eat a bullet that same day.

By hearing "being fat is ok" daily and living in a obese country that does not hurt fat slobs like it used to.
To bully fat cows is a moral oblige. You force them to stay unconfortable with their foul habit. Most of them turn in after some years, but some die in the process. Better off that way.

2 days ago. she sucked my dick while I played gta online with my freinds. Then she rode me in my gaming chair and I got offline and we moved to the bed. Last night I passed up sex cause i wanted the sleep. Had an hour and a half commute to work today so I had to get up early

I understand, and would hate my situation too if sex did matter more to me. After watching my wife go through the hell she had and does because of Lupus, my time is better spent enjoying her company than being upset about not getting laid. Priority shift.

19 here and still going
There is a slight chance that I will achieve this level of wizardry

Last night with wife.

So much this

You'll be ok. I didn't have sex until 22. You just got to put some work into it. It's worth it though.

5 days

8 days ago

Tuesday night

Last night of course. Sadly, That will be it for a couple of weeks though.

like a week, maybe more. Tonight is possibility.

About 6 months ago

2 days ago

How old are you

>I'll probably find somebody to fuck after springtime, when the pain from memory will be gone, and my grief upon female gender will be lower.

ok edgelord

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Never. Fingered my ex on the school oval though

Checked. But therea re some factors preventing me from doing so :
1) I'm not able to go into FWB stuff, even if I wanted to. It's not my type, and it never would be.
2) Even if I'm not doing so good in loose relationships, I'm still unable to maintain the stable relationship to the level of having sex. I know how to male friends easily, but reationships is out of my range.
3) No girl would be interested in me. I'm just boring as shit.

Sorry for spelling errors
>inb4 phoneposting

yesterday with my study partner

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Buy the mystery method and become a PUA. There are nice tricks to understand women

Five months a go :(

Never. Turned 41last week.

Why you don't pay a call-girl ?

almost 6 years ago.... been fapping to my ex's pics since then...shit

I don't really care about sex any more. Call girls are fine but sex seems something I wouldn't enjoy. Plus it's silly being a novice at 40plus

Two weeks ago i bought my wife some new dildos and vibes. We dp her with rabbit and a black vibe in the ass. After she came she took the vibe and said lets see how you like it and pegs me while jerking me off. Totally out of the blue first time she ever did anything like this. Blew it so fast......does that count as sex?

Yesterday morning 30 minutes before work.

Past life.

Do you mean with another person?

I don't even remember. Girlfriend never feels like it any more.

I think two weeks ago. Maybe I will get some today. It is getting more difficult to make my GF wet.

Last Sunday. With a FWB.

That same week I had my sb for a couple of days and two scorts.

Still not satisfied.

Fuck me.

2 years ago /:

8 years

Never

2 weeks ago with this trans dude, was interesting

Sb?

Today
Pic unrelated

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1995

Next time just go to a farm. The pigs there will look more appealing than this hunk of meat

Since 2015. Going to five years on May.

Last night with my fiancée

October 31 2015 ariund 3:00am. First and last time but at least it happened at a cool time. I'm 30 and grew up in a small town without a father and a crackhead mom. I went through adolescence hating myself because of aspergers and bullying. I've had maybe two or three friends in my life. Tried killing myself a couple times already. I need to get out of North Dakota but feel like I missed out on my twenties. I'm always angry or in the deepest depression you could imagine. Worst part is I'm a good looking guy. Plenty of girls have shiwn interest but idk how to reciprocate.

>having sex
lol wut?

this morning

Similar

Last night. With my gf who I don't want to be in a relationship anymore but am struggling to dump her. The sex isn't even good. This is why ghosting exists I think. Suggestions to let her down easy?

6 years ago with my ex..

Sugar baby

It IS why ghosting exists. Break up with her, give her the ol' it's not you it's me, but then don't be afraid to leave and block her if you think she'll try to beg for you back.

This morning... The wife like morning sex

last Saturday, and getting some tomorrow night

Fucked this whore an hour ago then dumped her cheating ass.
For a good time 5136007270

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7th of January.

Tell her straight that you don't want to be with her anymore. It's going to hurt her for a while, but it's the best and quickest way for her to get over it. Anything else is just dragging out her suffering, if you care about her at all you'll be direct.

Gf fucked me with a dildo a couple nights ago. I think the same will happen tonight.

last night

4 months ago before I deployed.

2016

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Monday night. Goin to see her again tonight but we’re going out and about so not sure I’ll get any.

February

>on Cred Forums
>Has sex
Pick one

>she

no

Four years

Received BJ: 2 days ago, get them 2-3 times a week
Actual sex: 6 or so months ago

I've become very picky. My(m) roommate(f) gives me bus all the time and I can fuck her when ever I want but I prefer younger pussy.

Just did it. My dick is still wet and smells like pussy.

Yesterday. Fucked my wife in the ass while fucking her cunt with a big corn-shaped dildo.

This morning, about 9 hours ago.

yesterday

This one. She loves getting fucked with it.

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3 times yesterday. Came in her every time.

>coomer

Dumped my load deep in her ass yesterday night. I like that she keeps it in her and not cleaning up.

7 years ago, contracted hpv life pretty much ended there, no desire to accomplish anything anymore, yes I used protection didnt work no visible lesions made sure to check condoms wont work they dont reach down far enough to cover my shaft so gg unless she wants to go get vaccinated which I would pay for

This morning.

These work pretty well user? Which is best? I used to use craigslist RIP it worked well. Just a ton of work and a lot of emails before meet up.

2003

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Yeah welcome to my world user. Been about 10 months. Only when she wants it of course. That’s what 4 kids does. Thinking about AM...

Not since I came back from Cambodia last year
I save myself for special girls

2.5 years ago. Most women are so cringe I just want to rip my eyes out anymore. Idk how pick up guys enjoy talking to these girls before they bang them.

Holy shit, that must suck

never.

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It does but you get used to it. I go to the call her daddy Instagram page and remember why being single isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Your power level is beyond fathoming. You have truly transcended mortal bounds

about 2 hours ago or so

Two weeks ago and I'm hoping to get some this weekend. If not, my sister in laws panties' are gonna get a good seeding.

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with my gf last night. watched some burn notice together and drank some cheap knockoff baileys, then started kissing after the episodes and she rode me hard while holding a bullet on her clit until she came, then i creampied her. pretty average night.

Fucked my FWB last night pic related

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Tried to end it with my fwb lastnight it didnt work so lastnight is my answer

yesterday with the wife. I have a broken neck, so it was rather careful

In November, I fucked with this girl who really made me feel it's all reciprocated. I got my first job in another city and was ready to renounce that just to be with her, but she made me go. Turns out , she was doing the same with my best friend at that time and only wanted to ship me off so that she could fuck with him too. I guess I'm going to stay single until I manage to get over such bullshit.

I’m having sex right now

I think it was September.. I was the bottom and we didn’t practice “safe sex”
Thanksgiving he calls me up to tell me he’s HIV positive cause he’s a faggot tweaker
I get an hiv test and am negative but I’m still scared I could be infected since I’m a faggot.
I decided I’ll be celibate because sex has always been disappointing for me anyway.

Dubs confirms Gandalf

Man.. that sucks. Sorry dude. You’ll find someone better for you.

It’s been disappointing because you’re letting men guck you in your asshole

If blowing a tranny counts, 2 years. If not, 6 years.

Last night.

Thanks. I lost my best friend as well, due to telling him that. I think friends are coming and going in our lives, but a family member can be someone who you could really trust, because it'll be quite hard for them to abandon you.

You’re probably right.. I hate that I’m a fag.

This was my first marriage.
Current marriage is fucktons better. Sex almost nightly.

>trap
I FUCKING KNEW IT!

Try being a top, or find a guy who cares enough to make you cum too.

I think it was that persian girl in august, was good but erectile dysfunction made it hard she thought i was gay lmao
But kept on going for 40 minues the first time then about 20 the next one because of a slight death grips
Man masturbation really kills the sex experience but I felt enough to have fun

I appreciate your advice but I’m gonna stick with celibacy.. if I hadn’t had that tryst with the tweaker I’d have 4 years celibate.

Black, 22, 3 years
Recently lost 30 pounds so getting more attention but I still hate myself and women.

10 days ago

Jan 7 2019

Oh sorry, 2017. It's been 3 years

Last night, gf got out of bath and messaged me basically asking for sex. Was good.

I am having the sex with an anime gurl right now