Stupid melee weapons thread

>theory
if you can't swing that in a surprise attack hard enough to kill someone, you should just go to bed.

look at handle , it would just rotate like a flag if you tried to swing

youtube.com/watch?v=xogheZdAO18

>it would just rotate like a flag if you tried to swing
A fine point.

Cross-guards like this one. At its best it pokes you in the arm; at its worst, instead of blocking your opponent's blade, it makes it bounce off the guard and chop you just a bit lower than where he originally meant to.

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Inb4 someone posts a katana and all the weeaboos get triggered

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Extremely badass, but ridiculous. Bloodletter, or the Phlebotomy Hammer
-The demented hunter weapon brandished by Brador, the Healing Church assassin.
The Bloodletter assumes its true and terrifying form after it draws upon blood from the inner reaches of one's body and soul.
This is the only effective means of expelling tainted blood, or so Brador, isolated in his cell, continued to believe."

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this sword has very less diameter, it will break in the middle of a battle

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scissors

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Must I say a word?

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you are very likely to hit yourself accidentally so dont use this

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that's why it's meant for duels

So why don’t you just BRING A REAL SWORD to a duel? JUST SNAP THE THING IN HALF!

Super rare saved

I'm kidding. This is outstanding.

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Getting hit by that would fucking hurt though

Aren't nunchucks usually shorter with a longer chain?

>Hunga munga
Designed by jungle bunnies with no concept of design. Just a bunch of random shit stuck together that happens to work

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that weapon not is stupid op...

It is reliable and improvised

it's weighs next to nothing, looks cool, and you're always ready to threaten diplomatic enemies
youtube.com/watch?v=nOlgbGGES94

youtube.com/watch?v=5gj8pAN7Y7E

>literally has duelist on the image name

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I like the design, you dont risk stabbing your self when throwing it and the risk that it will it with the blunt part is fairly low

>it will break in the middle of a battle
it really wouldn't, rapiers are incredibly strong blades that can take a hell of a beating,

you wont snap a rapier blade against any other sword

looks like it was an inaccurate image nunchunks indeed have a longer chain length

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chain too long, axis of weight distribution is completely fucked, leads to turbulence, makes it dangerous and useless
but sure if you make it into a completely different thing by making the chain shorter an d the head like round or at least with a centered and equal weight distribution, then sure it could be a weapon

lol, look how stupid the Épée is, you can't even penetrate the cloth armor of the enemy. how stupid is that

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the handle of this hammer is too small

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You could probably reach mach velocity with the tip of one of those things if you whipped it right

b8888888888888888888888888

ITT

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It doesnt even look cool. You give it way too much credit.

No one could even lift a real one, not that they would as its completely impractical, and all I do is cringe when i see this fantasy land "sword"

In no way shape or form would this "weapon" work in theory

It wouldn't break. It actually is one of the best swords in history.

Why are they tethered?

anything that weighs 50 lbs or more will work as a weapon if you can swing it effectively. Give Cloud a baguette that big and he'll drive an armored human into the ground like a nail

ties them to the scorer machine that determines whether their sword contacted the other person (which grants a point)

Morning stars are silly weapons, the chain takes away like 70% impact power of the blow. A regular mace or in this case hammer makes more damage.

Only the best dueling weapons ever created...

This thing it only does 8 damage

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while you are correct, this is not a stupid weapon. It's a powerful weapon.

>Make a huge, 60 pounds dumbsword instead of 10 6 pounds normal swords.

kek

such a trash gun, might as well be considered a mini-club or be used as a paperweight

Try to break a regular structural steel rod (1 cm diameter) by beating it and come back with the results.

Never thought of this but this man is right

>not just strapping them all together like dead rising

And normaly i think your oponent would be using armor

What person do you know that has armor?

>sword made of aluminum with a plastic handle
Lol

I mean in the past

that's why telling sword users to try snap it in half will get them exposed and killed

Swords like this weren't made to cut or slice, which is low damage. They were made to pierce and puncture, which is very high damage.
Think of like battling with long pins.

Wrong. Strong enough, okay. But you need to be heavy enough as well. When you swing that thing at the speed of a normal sword, you fly right after it.

>Why must beekeepers fight?

in that case you just do a flip over the top of it and then you both made a strike and dodged your opponent with one movement

I really do wish star trek had thought about these a little harder.

I dont think they would use a letal sword in the olimpics

Haven't seen star trek in years and years but weren't they supposed to be a ceremonial/dueling weapon rather than a battlefield one? the awkwardness makes some sense if it's just for play fighting

replace the handle with a length of chain

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Just a reminder that polearms are actually the best weapon.

Don't see why they wouldn't be useful but ok.

I'd rather be hurt than dead

It is a weapon requiring two hands that has zero range and has no means of transferring energy. By linking your hands you are required to always be moving in an awkward way that throws body off balance. When blocking any type of weapon you are likely to throw the attack at your legs or face rather than swatting it to your side. It also pretty much requires to face your opponent squarely rather than the boxers or fencers pose, making you a huge target that can only crab step. Its retarded.

Most of your "traditional" Chinese weapons (staff, nunchuku, etc.) were made and used in an era when the emperor banned any non-military folk (namely peasants) were banned outright from owning any kind of bladed weapon. So they improvised with variants of farm equipment (I think nunchucks were some form of rice beater to make flour). They were made and used out of necessity.

well number one it was meant for dueling, not necessarily full-on combat. And number two it can absolutely be used with one hand you fucking idiot. You've clearly never watched the show.

Blacks deserve reparations

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the armor can transfer electric field and if one makes contact with the epee it closes an electric current through the cable to the cable of the enemy and a light lights up and indicates a hit I guess

I use my shield (left) to hit the head of the pole arm down and to my left trying got get it to hit he ground. then I run towns the pike man with my shield sliding up the pole wile still pushing it to my left then hit the pike man with my mane sword.
(right)

the only deface ageist this if for the pike man to drop his pike and run off

lol.
yes I'm sure in the fictional television show it was very useful in one hand. I'm sure actually in the show they made the weapon look like quite clever.
I'm talking about reality. Where the weapon would be useless one handed, and even in a duel, would be completely retarded.

Anything from a sci-fi genre universe that's trying to depict another culture.

Pretty much anything that's supposed to convey a "warrior" culture or some shit, is usually fucking trash realistically. A single sharp pointy blade is unironically the best in a real warrior culture. Any group evolutionary that used something fanciful or ornamental would have been wiped out long before advancing as a civilization in a "warrior" culture.

Still better than a Hi Point tho

Theory: the bathlash (yes I know I probably miss spelled that) was destined after the invention of warp travel when melee weapons where obsolete.
And was destined on purpose to be a shit weapon, forcing the user to overcome its unique destined. This teaches the Klingon to overcome unexpected and unique combat situations in life.

You must think outside of the box so to spaek

Every warhammer used on TV and in movies and most vidya

Shits too big to wield effectively, to heavy to move fast enough or with any sense of accuracy. Looks silly, is ungainly and awkward.
Thor's hammer head is supposed to be far too big with a handle far too small. He thought it was useless before he saw the magic shit.

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Is it also possible that it was originally designed as a ceremonial weapon?

this is the only explanation that makes sense. If your opponent also has a retarded weapon, the duel is still fair.

>Ceremonial Weapon
Reference this
Also yes, Borg shit, from the Doctor Who universe is stupid, I'd never wield a crysknife.
-Duncan McCloud

The only exsepshon to this that I can thing of which I then think of and we have not need in media
is if the alien is dramatic different from us. I am talking like hp love craft shit.
Weapons designed to be healed with 4 hands. Weapons designed to be use with a arm that has 2 elbows
grips that are meant to be healed with no fingers. Most aliens in media is still human esk

>I'd never wield a crysknife.
post pick

Star Trek TNG ftw.

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True, but I'm trying to imagine a species where something like an Umbrella would do more damage then just a straight sharp piece of metal that can slice through flesh at a concentrated energy point.

The only thing I can think of, is a hardened carapace bug culture.
But usually they have claws / mandibles and shit.

google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHZL_enUS751US751&sxsrf=ACYBGNQZTOB4PfzNv1qFNfLuVDsv2DGHGA:1580419888051&q=knife from dune&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjyqJfwoqznAhXjgnIEHccgBu0QsAR6BAgHEAE&biw=2560&bih=1329#imgrc=_

I actually like the way it looks, and it's functional to a point. A simple sword would still do more damage.

It was my understanding that a warmer was meant to be use agent an appoint in armor.
I quick sharp sword will not cut metal but a slow heavy hammer would provide enough force to bend the metal armor the appoint is in

Just google warhammer to see what an actual one would look like.
Also, where are you from?

Fairly true, although the kopis, falchion, cutlass all had fair runs of it without being the true spike on a stick, and obviously spears and armor piercers like maces have a place. Still relatively straightforward stuff, though, compared to the batleth.

Dude,
don't post a fucking huge link that I am not going to coppy. Just save the image as then post the image in the thread
come on

What are you a phonefag?
Just double click and select "Go To...." it links it directly.

>on an imageboard
>puts up google links to images
you're why santa isn't real

>36 pictures... Too lazy to google shit yourself
"Why can't you just post all the pictures here!!"
How hard is technology for you to use? Are you a boomer or a zoomer?

Yeah, you should totally one up him, go to that link and post all the best pictures here on the image board.

It's a soft sponge

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What are you a phonefag?
yes it did not work cuse it is too fucking link
also op said post a pic not a link

we don't want 36 pictures of the same thin just one fagget

Why do you need 36 images to demonstrate 'knife made of worm bones'? I know what they look like without googling, I'm just pointing out a problem vis a vis you murdering santa clause.

Would literally kill the brain bug more effectively than a gun.

I haven't seen a picture of it yet... what's it look like?

you know how people will make knives with deer antler handles? picture one of those, except the blade is also antler and the antler is taken off a worm

There's a dozen versions of it, because it was from a book. That thing with words, not pictures. So different artists / smiths have interpreted it differently.

Effective vs vampires mer-creatures and slimes. All others splinters which does poison +2% every turn. No damage to fire enemies.

how? by eating it? thinking it was a brain?
i am assuming your are referring to starship troopers

Just post a fucking picture of it already.

JUST POST ONE YOU FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The problem with Olympic/sport fencing is double hits and the complete disregard for defence. If you stab your opponent 0.2 of a second before he stabs you, you're still dead.

Classical fencing is cool, Destreza, longsword, sword and buckler, kenjutsu, et cetera but modern fencing styles foil/epee/sabre/kendo completely miss the point (namely, to kill your opponent without being killed).

Just shove it in the hole. It'd have to swallow it. Or stick it in the goo, it'll get infected. Either way, he's right. That thing is deadly as fuck.
Probably the strongest weapon listed in this thread in a sci-fi setting.
Just imagine how many germs it could have stored in there.

Mjölnir has a small handle in the mythology, it was crafted by the dvergar with an intentional weakness, hence why Þórr requires the Járngreipur to wield it.

>not just coughing on them
real men don't need sponges

It said stupid weapons, not super deadly.
Pretty sure that thing killed more Europeans in the early 1st millennia than any weapon listed here.

Ita too big to be called a sword, really. Too big, too thick, too heavy, and too rough. Its more like a large hunk of iron.

Aren't those meant for throwing?

Mhe I see your point, I could bring into the augment that that is more bio weapon then melee weapon.
But so is poop on a stick...

Not if this one sneak sbehind you and stabs you in the back, retarded Nord

For me it's Great Sword

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I lol'd at this

handle is fine, the fact he always chokes up and holds it in the middle 2 inches away from the head instead of the end is the retarded part

True, but if someone ran at me with poop on a stick I'd move or kill them.
With a sponge, I think my defense and reaction time might be a little lower.
The sponge has some stealth things going for it, despite being bright yellow.
I heard it can brainwash kids and potheads too, when put inside a pineapple under the sea.

the point of the hammer to send all the force of the swing into the smallest point possible every war hammer in fantasy and vidya games are mauls not hammers

God that always bothered me too. I get it. Hes using vikang spess magic. Hes also supposed to be a warrior, he should be able to hold the fucking weapon properly

A fellow Berserker

op posting

5/10
9/10
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3/10 melee weapons only (must be out of amo)
11/10 this
7/10
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1/10 needs more stupid
7/10
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1/10 needs more stupid
9/10
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0/10 fuck you
10/10

I always kinda figured it demonstrated how much he relied on magic and power over skill or finesse. It isn't that he doesn't know there's a better way to hold it, he just doesn't care because he never needed to. It's not so bad if you think of it in character terms.

everyone can agree that you don't know shit

>can be fairly devastating
Faggot.

*tips rape fedora*

>70% impact power of the blow

Pretty sure you made that up, but yea I don't get chain weapons either. It takes out all the mechanical advantage of a lever. Is it for intimidation or something else?

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It also lessens the jarring impact on your wrist and arm, which is good in a weapon intended to be used against plate armor

Flails are meant to counter shields by striking around them. They are very situational weapons but in ye olden days shields were more common than decent armor so they had its uses.

Nunchucks are not traditionally Chinese their implementation as weapon originated in Okinawa an island that was constantly occupied either by Chinese or Japanese powers.

Chain weapons are popular in shield-based combat metas.
A big shield doesn't care about swords or hammers, but a chain flail just wraps right over/around the shield and clocks 'em in the head.

Against another weapon, chain weapons are literal garbage. Against a big shield, they're almost an auto-win.

Because of these factors, they were usually quite rare, historically. Generally only nobility owned them, as essentially a "sidearm" to pull out against shielded opponents. They're also much more useful when striking down from above vs. from the side, which makes them more powerful in the hands of cavalry (which fight from ABOVE their opponent), which also means "only owned by rich people".

Now try that stunt against a bardiche or halberd...

autism/10

You inbreed, Morning stars are spiked ball on a long stick, kind of mace. Chained weapon is Flail.

You could clench shields and beat the opponent on the back or legs. You could potentially wrap chain around sword or arm and pull enemy to close the distance... Many possibilities.

guess that makes sense, but I think I've applied more than enough force with a hammer that would break bones through plate armor and have been fine. And that's with a hard surface, even if they have armor on a person isn't a brick wall, the armor, padding and person will give some.

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let me present the lantern shield

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The chains generally weren't long enough to wrap anything, that's movie shit.

Probably one of the worst weapons considering the incredible amount of work and material used. Even a simple knife or roughly sharpened slab of steel would be more effective.

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Parry this you fucking casual

Ok that makes more sense, so it's more tactical.

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>throwing weapon
>why no good for stab

Hammered steel plates are incredibly hard. If you add fluting this increases even further. Some of the better full plates could withstand a hit from a Lance ( a real one not the shitty jousting lances) with no real damage to the wearer. It takes far more kinetic energy than an average human can develop with a regular hammer to even dent such a plate armor.

net and trident is where its at Cred Forumsros

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Throwing away a weapon that took several days to forge and quite expensive steel just to bounce off harmlessly on anything thicker than a linnen shirt...
>genius design

was zina's chakrim like magic or something?
so i would return after thrown like caps sheald
also how did she not cut her hand off?

it comes back because of the perfect aerodynamics just like cap's shield so you can throw it as many times as you want

Polearms btfo

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Those things were actually used in ancient India. I still can't figure out why or how they even thought this was a good idea.

Then again they also used stuff like this

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too fancy. this thred is about bad, shit weapons,
autistic swords

>mlord my sword shattered
>but how I had over a dozen squiggles put in just yesterday

is that so post to be rigid like my pines or floppy
..
.
.
.
.
like my penis

Good luck shattering a greatsword. Those things were made out of the best spring steel available at the time

Floppy as fuck. Some of them were over 5ft long

like this ?
yes thos are mettle

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how dost this thing not brake?

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What do /d/tards think about butterfly knives/balisong?
>Bought one along with a trainer knife a few weeks ago and have been having fun flipping it around, even the real one.

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its a butterfly mashed,
how is it stupid, worthless, or why it would suck in melee combat?

odds of it shattering into three pieces midfight are higher than with a real knife, but if its decent its basically the same as any knife
>ie worse than nothing if you're not trained, worse than anything except bare hands if you are trained

Flails that were actually used in antiquity always had chains that were just short enough so that they wouldn't be able to hit the hand. Two handed flails still only had short chains to allow for the head to swing and have a bit of extra momentum, but they never really were long.

if you have a hammer in the first place why would you do this, you absolute cumbrain

Imagine being the actual chad of a man using that on a construction job.

>oh no i bent a nail, let me pull out my chain hammer and pull it out

bruce lee used that thing to build a house

All it takes is one part of the blade being hotter than the rest when it gets quenched to create a potential breaking point. The steel is less important than the quenching

the neckbeard runs strong in this thread

It's not that easy to shatter even if it's not perfectly quenched. Adding to that those swords were made only by the very best swordsmiths with decades of experience and getting an even heat and quench is the easy part in forging a 5-7lb piece of steel into a weapon as tall as the Smith itself. Swords in general don't shatter that easily even katana who are known to have a tendency to snap due to the extreme differential gardening only did so rarely in actual combat.

Is it a single row of pikeman? They would've routed or drawn something else long before if thats the case.

>single
and larping
"lightning bolt!"

>everybody who isnt an expert is larping
It was a serious question, but continue to wax superior about your intricate knowledge of outdated military tactics.

thats the point of this thred

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I was kind of hoping to gain some knowledge. In my very limited research pike formations are usually depicted as several men deep, which is why i asked . If someone tried this tactic with their shield binding the first spear arent they going to catch a pike from either the second row or the pikeman to the right? Someone please explain why I have the big dumb

Jesus Christ this is almost incomprehensible.

Not who you're replying to but I think he means in a 1v1. As you point out, it will only work if the pikeman is unsupported.

Unlike in Halo or Call of Duty where pistol whipping is not a insta-kill melee attack in real life.

this would actually fuck you up if used correctly

Don't hold it too long, or it'll turn your hand into steak tartare

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That's a bit over kill. Might as well bash someone with a warhead.

sigh.
you punch there foam pike out of the way then rush them

go play Totally Accurate Battle Simulator to find out more

no no no that is the thing that will drain all the water from your body.

who asked

>geniune post admitting ignorance and seeking understanding in a thread of people with the knowledge
>lawl go LARP summore feghet
This is why nobody wants to join your HEMA club at school.

I made this out of a wooden bat and a geared roller from a palletizer at work

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Well the main baddy used it as a melee weapon and drank his blood water. So technically it is a melee "weapon"

Lovingly refer to her as "the maceball bat

I didn't day shatter, I said break.
Swords don't shatter
>getting an even heat and quench is the easy part
No isn't you dumb fuck, getting an even heat on a piece of steel that long in coal forged is extremely difficult
Stop talking shit when you know nothing

A shrinking gun sword from transformers.

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Note: why would the decepticons have such a tiny sword in a weapons room considering how big the decepticons are. That's like us collecting toothpicks that can shoot.

I thought they were like the katana. The design unchanged for thousands of years because of the culture behind it.

tbf if you made weapons at like 1/20th scale that worked as well as that thing, people would buy them

Shields are useless against pike formations. Usually pike blocks carried 3 rows of pikes with 2 rows of smaller polearms and Zweihänders behind that.

Once the pikes bind the enemy the shorter polearms would flank the enemy or break trough their formation trying to get close and personal and forcing the enemy pikemen to drop their pikes to defend in cqc wich in turn would open them up to your own pikemen.

>thousands of years because of the culture
post warp

Too bad it can't be used "correctly" without flaying yourself in the process.

So you'd trade it from the decepticons with some energon cubes? Do transformers use energon as money?

no I mean if you as a human made functional weapons 1/20th the size of a human, people would collect them. maybe decepticons are the same and those are collectible miniatures relative to the size of a decepticon.

I'm really good with them. I could probably fuck somebody up with them. I'd still rather use just about anything else though. It's a very good tool for training hand eye coordination because it hits you if you fuck up. It's the autonomous sensei.

Compared to forging a billet to an over 4 feet long blade shape heating it evenly is child's play.

You seem to know awfully little about medieval blade smiting technology if you think the heating part would be the main problem.

The paddle ball is technically a gun, but you have to be in melee distance to use it. Even then, it takes 1hp per ball hit. Even if you have modifiers in your stats, or bonus perks, it doesn't affect the paddle ball damage.
Try killing a deathclaw with this badboy. You won't because it will heal faster than you can do damage.

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youtube.com/watch?v=wpZdUgBzh7Y
I had your belief too until I found out that they're cheap but have a lifetime warranty and they'll take a beating.

It varies. I use a short chain when I weeb.

Katana shape changed drastically while it was still used in warfare. It stagnated once it became a status symbol and ceremonial weapon

Decepticons with hobbies? Do you think Soundwave knits sweaters for his cat?

You're still talking shit.
Hammering the billet is LITERALLY just hammering.
Even heat treating with coal forged has always been the most difficult part of the process to get right. It's also the part that can make all the work put in beforehand pointless, because if it isn't done correctly and evenly, the entire weapon is compromised.
Stop posting

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well they're not gonna knit themselves

Underrated post from an actual oldfag.

>work in theory
means almost anything is possible

Why hasn't anyone posted this garbage yet? The fucking buster sword is practical and sane compared to a fucking gunblade.

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Atleast we all know that Starscream does have a hobby. Eating buttery toast and watching porn. Watching porn is a hobby right?

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god I hope so

youre confusing a flail with a morning star. a morning star had a solid shaft with spikes on the end. no chain.

We know that excessive masturbation is

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The first bat'leth was forged by Kahless in their medieval times.

Wasn't that actually supposed to be surprisingly effective though? Like it started for night time duels and then they we're like oh shit i can strap a bunch of blades on here and poke them in the dark.

The blades aren't pointed. There's actually a small button on the tip that alerts when it has connected with your opponent.

After hes death he gets in to a body of a japanese school girl and this is canon look up atari hitonari crazy shit man

poisoned barbs
you only had to scratch a bitch

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she should've just chucked it at them, one of those spines is definitely gonna catch something

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reminded me of pic related, which would fail due to being so perfect it makes your own side attack you in jealousy

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Correct. Anyone that played Kerbal Space Prog or understands centre-of-mass can imagine how moving this thing in an arc would have it then rotate around it's CoM and back into the wielder. It would do so with the same conserved energy that was put into the swing.

It's why some weapons have counterweights on the pommel, to insure energy put into the swing stays in the swing.

No critique? Come one its actually a homemade melee weapon

this would be a commercial success, but only if the blade was non-sharp and with a rounded tip, because sad songs would facilitate self-harm and it would be triggering

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youtu.be/tynKRMVGsAI

metal-reinforced bat is not actually a "stupid melee weapon"
you fail at this thread sir

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So it's stupid in a good way then

Fuck you

Just a simple beggar

Based

dont talk shit, the short handle wasnt intentional at all! It was because loki turned into a fly and bit brokkr, thus distracting him so he couldn't create the wondrous items and lose the bet for his head

>clearly never seen forged in fire
This shit can take a beating and is extremely lethal

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I work as security/bouncer and I've seen about 10 people have a few fingers pinched off from butterfly blades, if it doesn't click properly the blade end can fold in. Fucking funny...tho i have been slashed by one and that was not so funny.

>Thrown
It’s super effective!

Farming implement used by desperate peasants because they weren't allowed to own anything better
A steak knife is more powerful

>This
They never expect it

This. The barrel is integrated into the blade, so it couldn’t even shoot. If we threw that aside and assumed it could shoot, there’s no way to hold it steady for a shot, considering the underbarrel you’d be holding is a fucking sword. Even as a melee weapon in’t incredibly impractical. The angle of the handle makes it impossible to control how you’re swinging the thing, even if you used 2 hands.

Based

I don't understand. Explain?

looks like a normal spoon, right?

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Fun fact about this, I have annoyed the shit out of my brothers by going on a mission to collect 20,000 spoons in fallout 4 because of the Ginosaji videos.

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This is actually handy, you can blow a dude away and then his widow can blow her nose.

Oh cool, OP really always is a faggot, fuck you too by the way.

That would fuck your day up. my only problem with it is that it would be a hindrance if someone got within the effective arc.

I love that show.

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Sword pineapple-apple sword

ANOTHER HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!

It'll do.

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He is 100+ tonne class. He could grip it by the hammer and still wreck shit

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A spife? Knoon?

It's actually used to take down cavalry. Well similar desined sword.

> Thors Mallet

pic of the real one>?

:thinking:

dude, just put several google images links into their own individual .txt files, compress them all into one file with md5 hash encryption, upload it to mediafire, shorten the link through tinyurl, then post that link into your response - and forget to post the password.
this is the way of the imageboard.

Imagine just a light tap to the shin with one of those gear teeth...a full swing would be shit your pants agony