Just going to lay it all out here since I don't have anyone to tell, or anyone that I would want to tell, in my life

i don't see how a monotonous life is worse than one where your kid(s) are fatherless.

What's stopping you from finding any sort of outlet to spice things up? Woodshop? Camping? Video games? Drugs?

The littlest effort could bring you happiness if you really look

Thanks for fucking up the gun statistics you fucking faggot.

You're welcome.

Curious as to how I fucked the statistics up? Wouldn't I just be adding TO the statistics?

My kid isn't old enough to know me and my wife's family is a great support system. Lots of people grow up fatherless and are just fine in spite of it.

I have tried, extensively, to find something to try and spice things up. I find no joy in the things that used to and the thought of a new hobby or activity feels tedious and daunting more than adventurous at this point.

Thank you for the suggestion, though.

anyone you care about?

Sure. Lots of people. Why?

Try to eat some shrooms. Micro/macro-dosing is well worth it.

okay but its february which is the months of suicides so please dont be a stereotype and eat some shrink pills

theyre the best you feel fucking amazing on them and its not true that when you quit them you crash, you go back to a higher baseline because you realized many things

so yea get a prescription bro

You don't want to live and are tired of the day in day out monotony. But you want to kill yourself. So what is stopping you from trying to follow your dreams? Take chances, take risks, if shit goes all to hell you can still kill yourself.

not enough to stay with them?

No.

just abandon the family and go start a new life somewhere else.

theres nobody you care for that much, or would if you saw them again?

Is that you 3rd suicide attempt today or whats wrong with all those threads.
Do it or don't there is no try.
And if you do jump, make a backflip.

Less talk. More action.

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be selfish

>or whats wrong with all those threads
Attention whoring, as usual.

This would be my suggestion as well. No one is keeping you here as you want to commit suicide. If you left it would be the same for them and you get the chance of finding things worth living for. You can kill yourself later if nothing changes.

how about just leave home one day...

and go start a new life somewhere else?

Realize that nothing inherently matters.
Your suffering has no meaning.
Your actions have no meaning.
Your thoughts have no meaning.
Your suicide will have no meaning.
Whatever you feel has no meaning.
None of it matters nor has any meaning.
So accept them as a separate entity of which you have no control.
If you hold no control then it is quite literally useless to take it seriously.
It's as inconsequential as the wind or the rain.
Weather the conditions and do not worry over it because you have no control.

user, this resonates with me a lot.
Obviously a different story, but the way you wrote your post...

>I don't want to live anymore.
>I am tired of the day in, day out, monotony.
>I had dreams and goals once, but now I realize that they never mattered and were likely never attainable.
>I've always put others before myself and now I just don't care.

Shit man, i feel this...
I've always put others before me, i kept a few people from killing themselves even though i think about dying almost all the time. There are short periods when i don't feel the sad/suicidal thoughts, but those are just moments of total emptiness. There is no happiness or anything.
Im not even sure what i wanted to say, i know it's your choice and not anyone else - so whatever you do, i just hope there won't be anymore of the suffering.

Just know that a lot of your feelings come from your surroundings, so before you try to end yourself - end everything else. Change your surroundings, 'friends', everything that drags you down.

Love you user

this sounds sad and pathetic enough to make me believe you. The only question I have is why do you care? You say you don’t but you obviously do to have the will to do the same boring shit every day. get out of the fucking military, leave your wife and kids. The government will take care of you. stop giving a shit about what people think and do what you want to fucking do.

You nailed it.
After 10+ years I still don't know how to greentext, as I don't normally post, but;

"There are short periods when i don't feel the sad/suicidal thoughts, but those are just moments of total emptiness"

Also resonates with me.

Even most of the suggestions in this post are things I had considered(find a new hobby, abandon your current life, accept that nothing matters) and yet I still find myself back here.

I recently admitted to someone that I don't know what "happiness" is. I don't know that I have ever genuinely felt it.

I have lived my life in stepping stones, each one I have told myself "this is it, this is where you find happiness" and yet it evades me. I don't mean this in the melodramatic sense that implies I pull back a magic curtain and everything is fixed, but very much in a sense that I have always hoped that the "next" step would at least help me feel... less empty?

Thanks for the love user, and for meeting me at my level. It helps, if even for a moment, to peel back some of the grey.

You create your own reality - if you are unhappy where you are, change things.
If you don't change things, nobody else will.
If you don't want to put others before yourself anymore, stop doing it.
Take care of yourself, and care for yourself.

Can't blame the world for our own choices.

Pic unrelated

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Lmao "no one to turn to" "that's a joke not someone to turn to" fucking retard wouldn't drink water even if you shove them into a lake.

You'll fuck up your kids life for being selfish.

You'll fuck up your wife for being selfish.

You wont be in any outlet because soldiers die thats part of the profession.

Your still alive for a few before you finally die after you use a 5.56 to the brain

Think about your family and tell your wife your depressed and suicidal and your superiors and get a fucking section 8

Do it if you want. Fuck your wife and kids, but just be prepared for whatever comes next. And right before you do the deed remember you'll never actually know how your life will turn out.

Hey mate.
Fellow solider here..
It gets better..don't do it. There's a trillion things to do in life and suicide is not one of them.
Literally so many other things you could be doing..if worst comes to worst leave everything and everyone behind go completely remote and start over with a new identity.
I'm here for you pal. Suicide accomplishes nothing my friend

Oddly enough killing myself seems like a far easier option than abandoning my current life.

My blind loyalty to the people around me is what got me to this point, I doubt it would let me just up and walk away.

It becomes increasingly difficult to see how/if it gets better. I'm 31 and have been looking for a glimpse of the "light at the end of the tunnel" and yet here I am. Alone, surrounded by darkness with no bearing.

33, no kids, married. Pdq for P.

I get the same way. There's been lots of grief in the last few years. Wife was in the ICU almost died, for which I still hold myself in contempt. Best friends wrecked on his bike riding home, I was supposed to be biking with him, resulting another trip to the ICU, lost him. I've been on SRIs for a year now. It helped but everything still feels grey. Even before all this, around age 30, NIN "every day is exactly the same" was the theme of my life. I've started talking to people about it, and guess what? It helped. I feel cared for and at the same time wanted because these other people have the need to share their burdens as well.

Holding these feelings in is what makes it worse. You prevent yourself from sharing and subsequently feel isolated. Happiness I've found is in connection with others. It feels right to belong.

Coworker of mine killed himself 2 weeks ago, he was entirely self-centered and isolated himself in his anger and frustration with life.

Read some Dostoevsky and Voltaire' Candide.

More than happy to talk more about it with you. I hate what your going through. Much love.

You have a family, your life might be worthless to you, but it isn't to your kids, your wife, and all those that care about you.

Suicide is cowardice and it's the easy way out.

Note: If you're a nigger or a kike, then ignore what I wrote and go by yourself a shotgun

buy*

Stuff on b/ doesn't last long. Still feel like this and want to talk repost in adv/.

Get on some anti psych or antidepressants dude, helps alot.

Lol good riddance pussy soldier boy. If you're selfish enough to take the easy way out when so many people are dependent on you, than you deserve all the pain you're getting. I hope you survive the attempt and become braindead for the rest of your life because of it cunt. You could literally do anything at all now that you have "nothing to live for" and you choose to kys instead. You have no sympathy from me, burn in hell you selfish cunt, hope your kids becomes emotionally fucked up from the experience

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