I delayed my education, I'm about 3-4 years older than my classmates in my third year computer science courses...

I delayed my education, I'm about 3-4 years older than my classmates in my third year computer science courses. I feel astronomically behind my classmates, they pick things up so quickly that I have to spent quite some time on before I get it. How do I keep myself motivated and not neck myself. I fear I can't compete with these guys in the job market and they'll be flooding in about the same time I graduate.... I'd pretend that "hey I lived a fun worthwhile life, I've probably developed a lot of social skills that these keeners never have" but thats not the case at all. They all for the most part seem pretty socially capable and aren't kissless virgins... When did younger generations leap so far ahead of me... I feel really low and I don't know what to do.

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They are autistic virgins and retards, stop being such a pussy.

Same spot mate execept Im 28. Dont worry though the job market for comp sci is massive and companies literally cant hire enough people

Maybe try to connect with your professors instead of your classmates?

Some of them yes, but some of them are stupidly attractive women, some of them are guys that seem to have flourishing social lives through networking in the field. Its pretty intimidating.

I mean, I don't want to be stuck working government for the rest of my life. I've overheard a lot of these guys getting interviews at places like Tesla. I'm really interested in data science but I don't think I can compete, I've seen githubs of my classmates and they have commits numerous commits each month over the past year, meanwhile I make maybe 4 commits total a month on personal projects that really lack any sort of creativity.

Really doubting myself being able to get hired at anywhere doing bleeding edge R&D at this point.

I try to go to all my prof's office hours and ask them questions to show I'm trying, as well as some more lighthearted casual conversation they seem to have interest in. But I feel like thats practically irrelevant because if they knew how weak my understanding of things are compared to my classmates, I doubt they'd ever consider me for something...

Its not really just skills but also being at a right place at the right time, a little luck, connections, also noticed many people will hire someone less capable and productive simply cuz they liked them as a person, dont sweat it

Quit comparing yourself to them. All you have to worry about is putting in the work and making the right schmoozes. You'll be fine if you stop doubting yourself.

>I don't want to be stuck working government for the rest of my life.

Are you stupid? Goverment jobs is probably much safer than slaving in a fucking corporation when you can be fucking fired on a whim.


Fucking please, that meme-tier company? Can't take them seriously after they released that block piece of shit of a 'car'. They are going to go bankrupt in 2 years

Hmm, I doubt that. Ambition and perseverance are important qualities. Just keep at it and stop trying to compare yourself to others. Just make sure you do the best work you can.

I get that, but in terms of skill, if someone where to come up with some groundbreaking discovery it definitely wouldn't be me, especially considering I can't compete with kids that take one look at complex topics and just know it already.

Theres one kid I study with from time to time, he never goes to class, has crippling video game addiction, only studies about a couple hours before any sort of exam or grinding out an assignment. What takes me days takes this guy a couple minutes, it fucking ruins my self esteem to see someone like that.

Are you from burgerland?

Cant imagine them going bankrupt with recent numbers, Model 3 is the third most selled car in EU for December 19, they re opening a new factory in Germany and receiving government funding

They are not going to last, and electric cars are a meme as long as Petro-lobby has a say.

Ok, he's better than you at something. Why are you scared of that when you could be appreciative of his talent? You are witnessing a rare gift.

I talked to a prof one time about how I have a hard time to abstract things and just use them without fully understanding inner workings. I said I try as much as I can but sometimes I just feel stuck. My prof's response, and I quote

"persistence helps to a point, but hopefully over time it will get easier to abstract. The patterns just become easier to see"

Kinda felt like he was telling me its not for everyone.

Yea but government fucking lags behind everything, I'll never get to develop new emerging technologies or work with bleeding edge stuff like I'd hope for.

Fair enough, but I still find it impressive he was noticed.

>Why are you scared of that when you could be appreciative of his talent? You are witnessing a rare gift.

You disgust me. Jealousy is a natural thing.

No, burgerland's hat actually.

It just makes me feel like, why bother, someone else will be able to do it better so. I get maybe I'm being too stupid diminishing my value by saying that because it can be true for anything. I guess I have some deeply retarded complex about wanting to one of the best in something.

My prof for my algorithm's course lowkey dropped that he developed Min/Max/Median heap's and the heap merging algorithm and I just thought that I want to do something like that with my life so badly. Idk I guess I'm just autistic...

>Kinda felt like he was telling me its not for everyone
I can't say for sure without being there, but it sounds to me like he was say it just takes practice.

>I'll never get to develop new emerging technologies

You seem to aim too high.

Idk he's got a point, I play guitar, albeit I'm garbage at it, but I never get that feeling when I watch someone like Slash play live, I'm just in awe and think its so impressive and I'm glad I get to witness it.

But in the case of Computer Science I get fervently jealous and heavily contemplate my own worth.

I don't really have any interests other than R&D at this point in my life, is it so wrong to ask more of myself than I'm capable?

sounds like a case of ADHD, a dash of social phobia, and a punch of depression. See a therapist. Don't be a pussy and reject whatever treatment they give you, otherwise there's no point in complaining.

Ambition is a terrible thing to have. You will never met your own expectations if you won't settle for less. Just be a fucking medicore dude-bro with some average 9-5 job or learn a trade

I guess I can't be retarded about this, I did apply to a position Canada's national research council and they said I looked promising. Maybe gov research won't be so bad so long as someone in the private sector is doing something in my country to benefit my country I'll get to work on it too.

In your hobbies, no
In your sole means of income, yes.

I don't think I can ever settle for mediocrity. I know it sounds like I'm coming from a place of arrogance but I've come to the conclusion that the purpose of life is to advance the human race in what ever way possible. If other people can do it why the fuck can't I?

Lol wtf get out of my head. I've seen a therapist from school, it did help up until I couldn't see him anymore. Wait-list is impossibly long to the point that they just forget about me till I ask about my position in queue and the just put me back in. Can't really afford outside therapy and doubt my job offers any like that.

Envy is the poison of the weak. Lying in resentment and stewing upon it will only diminish you and the world around yourself.
You're trying to define yourself through your career. You must understand that's an important part of your life but trying in angst to stand atop of the pile is not going to do most people any good and might not be the healthiest for those who can and do such things. Find passion in the work itself, learn and enjoy at your own pace and be your own person. Quit focusing on trying to be better than someone and just focus on doing it.

But it just so happens that my source of income IS my hobby...

I spend hours watching conferences learning what people have been working on. I used to have a crippling addiction to video games but that was because I so badly wanted to be the best, climbed real high on dota2 ladder but never got noticed. I guess thats just a part of me, I just want to have something to tie my self worth to. Kind of immature now that I type it out...

>he purpose of life is to advance the human race in what ever way possible

>He has not taken the Tedpill

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>climbed real high on dota2 ladder but never got noticed
Oh, so you're just a fucking moron.

Same story with me, except I played the shit out of Wc3 during mid 00's.

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You're right, I'm just being a bitch about it. I guess I can't fixate on things that are nothing more than assumptions. If I focus on me I'll achieve my goals regardless if others can achieve those very same goals at a faster rate.

Thanks for the talk Cred Forums, really made me feel a lot better.

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You advance mankind everyday you work and help people. You dont need to invent a great machine or lead an army to better your fellow man. You will often have more of an effect on someone by saying "happy birthday" and having lunch with them. Hell, call your family and check to see if they're alive. It helps to have that.

I played in wc3 too, got yelled at every game cause I didn't know wtf I was doing. It wasn't until dota 2 that I understood the game and climbed hard and fast hitting same mmr as pro players in tournaments. Good times, I developed some serious hand pain from playing that game so much.

>got yelled at every game cause

This is why I never had Teamspeak. Too many autistic fucktards taking the game too seriously, and 10yo shitstains telling you how they fucked your mom.

I miss those days man, now with reforged being absolute doodoo and me not being able to play nearly as good as before the dream is dead, too old for that shit.

But I remember grinding my fucking heart out when I was like 16 or something. Ah to be young and still have hope. Never the less I'm glad I matured to the point where my ambition is far more adult than just being good at a stupid fucking game lol.


user, as long as your doing better then you were the day before I'm proud of you. The world is too big to compete with everyone, just focus on being better then your current self :)

Wouldn't be Cred Forums without you buddy

Thanks user, I appreciate it.

>Can't really afford outside therapy and doubt my job offers any like that.
Mental health should be covered by employer benefits these days. Hopefully it costs only a copay amount. Don't look for excuses to avoid it. How the fuck do you think I graduated from uni and started getting mad pussy?

No one can do it all themselves, especially those who reach the top (Sir Richard Branson, Elon Musk, Jamie Dimon, etc.)