Poop health: ok guys this is serious, for 2 years now my shit is soft and smeary no matter how much fiber i consume...

They're giving you wrong advice on purpose.

really? just do psyllium you memelord. It's at all the Healthy Planets around here

>Eat nothing but taco bell and hold your shit in for 4 days. Use a butt plug of you have to
done that. ate a lot of pizza. didn't shit for 2 days. I did take a huge dumb but it was not a consistent log. it was smeary as fuck. like shitting nutela.

>really? just do psyllium you memelord. It's at all the Healthy Planets around here
No. im the op and im not Ian. but this psyllium is interesting.

This is the real Ian. I will not put up with imposters.

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It won't fix the root cause but it's a very good symptomatic treatment for comfy shits until you figure out what actually causes the problem. Which you can hopefully do by continuing diet experiments.

I still think it's you Ian nice try though

>I still think it's you Ian nice try though
first of all, who the fuck is this Ian that's known on Cred Forums for talking about his shitting habits. secondly my fear is that my smeary shits have something to do with cholesterol, blood pressure or some intestinal parasite. and not simply an eating habit.

Most likely just a touch of IBS and you need to do a food diary to eliminate the problem food.

try taking some probiotics.
i dunno, something about the flora in your gut could be off after you took some antibiotics or got really sick sometime. don't take them for more than like a week, if it hasn't helped by then, then it's not the answer.

have you told a doctor about it?

mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/irritable-bowel-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20360016

wtf is mucus in the stool ?!

No im the real ian

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Everyone has a degree of mucus and bile in their stool. How can you be 32 and be so fucking stupid?

Dude your body is telling you that you're masturbating too much, the enzymes used to create semen are taking away from the rest of your body. In this case your lower rectum not allowing your fecal matter to hold together. It could take weeks or months of weening to get your consistency up.
What I recommend is applying BENGAY cream to your scrotum for fast results, this should speed the process exponentially.

Dude, my bro. This is like providence. I have the same fucking problem the last year or more and have tried to figure it out myself but I'm giving up. I eat healthy as fuck (not sugguesting this for everyone at all, I went vegan for heart reasons and it worked in curing my heart health). When I first went vegan and ate moe protein I ever ate in my life my shits were PERFECT. Long and not hard but just this perfect shit log cleaning me out. It was like that for a good 2 years. Then all of a sudden my shit went to shit....smeary and soft and just made an ooze pile mountain in the bowl. Wiping like a bastard for about 5 mins at least every fucking shit. Wetting toilet paper in the sink to clean it so I'm not a mess. My issue I think is I drink way too much....but even when I quit thay for a couple months it still happened. Tried probiaotics and still no good. I wish I cold help or I wish we could find an answer. I'm rotted with my shits

GET TO A HOSPITAL NOW

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Try drinking Metamucil.

Maybe you're just better hydrated these days.

appreciate the tips but drinking psyllium or metamucil is just ingesting more soluble fibre. That isn't the answer.

Nice try. Coronavirus is respiratory. He has Ebola from taking to many African black dicks up his ass.

I see an easily solvable problem here. Two people claim they're Ian. To figure out who's the real Ian you should both post your stool so we know who's the soft shitter around here

You’re in fiber shock. It means you are too much fiber. Did you start juicing fruits and veggies because that will cause it. You gotta take a laxative and cut back on veggies for a week or so. Eat lots of meat and carbs till you are back to normal. It happened to me a couple years ago. Shit was like mud and impossible to push out.

You nigger how dare you nigger up this thread by saying ebola is for niggers you nigger ebola is parasytic worm thats hybernates within the niggers if it wasnt for niggers the niggery voilence would have escalated and ebola would decipitated by niggering niggity nogger sneegers

lol dude...sorry but this is wrong. No such thing as fiber shock and cutting back on veggies while saying eat more carbs is contradictory. NO ONE should cut back on vegetables and meat does not firm up shits. It's possible that lacking certain fats could cause this problem but it's a tricky thing to nail down

>You gotta take a laxative
I don't think im in "fiber shock" but fuck it i will try some prune juice.

>My issue I think is I drink way too much
you mean alchohol or simply fluids ?

>I'm rotted with my shits
sucks so much. i still remember how i used to enjoy my shits. they were nice and firm and gave me a sense of inner cleanliness.

>Dude your body is telling you that you're masturbating too much
very interesting. here's another honest truth: for roughly the same time my shits have been bad my libido has declined but i always assumed that was stress from work. i have gone on no fap for a couple of week with no shitting improvements.

>have you told a doctor about it?
no. ive been told i would have to shit for the doc in order for him to examine it. that's gross.

Its obviously coronapenis not bolaballs

me> Oh alcohol...way too much lately, been going through some shit (pardon the pun) but like I said even when I was completely off alcohol this still happened but I'm not entirely sure it isn't th eproblem since I abused it before I went off it for a while. I know what you mean about the satisfying shits. I even KNEW they were the healthiest shits of my life and they were taken away from me and now I'm a mud shitting excuse for a toilet bowl sitter. I haven't told dr yet because I'm afraid it is an alcohol problem lol but I always assume I'll just give it up soon. Wish there was a freaky answer like "oh just stop eating bananas" but I know thats not it

I unironically have been having the same problem for the past few months and im 33. Diet has stayed the same but now the shit dissolves immediately when flushed

inb4 russian bioweapon tailored to only affect guys in their 30's with the only symptom being mudshit

kek

lol

shave your asshole dumbass

drink less water. dehydrate yourself a little. They'll firm up

He should shave his head and eyebrows to stream line himself for optimum shitting

>drink less water
really ? i think my problem is that i drink too much coffee and not enough water.

shit

Eat fucking meat.

It gives it bulk to hold water to make it softer, not to make it like a brick. Cut down on fiber and any natural diuretic foods such as coconut, apples and Cole products.

top kek

drinking less water is the WORST advice you could get here other then eat less vegetables and more meat lol....Caffeine is probably dehydrating you if anything but I don't think that's our problem my man

>Caffeine is probably dehydrating you
exactly what i was thinking

Do you honestly find that fucking funny you little chincky chong?

your gut bacteria are badly out of balance, no big deal. probably a lot of candida, which is bad. your doctor can have you send a poop sample to get checked for specific bacteria and then you'll be prescribed antibiotics. that will deal with the bad bacteria, then you have to replenish your gut with beneficial bacteria. Find a good probiotic supplement and within a month you'll have the finest turds in town. this is a common problem with the standard american diets everyone is on

oh look a 30 year old alcoholic with smeary shits.

>oh look a 30 year old alcoholic with smeary shits.
dude, wtf with this bullying

Are you saying you poop creamy logs?

Stop letting so many niggers cum up your asshole.

So I think this is the closest to our answer OP. I have suspected candida but my dr kinda brushed it off and said "well fiber can cause some people to shit loosely" but I never believed her. So I think a shit sample is necessary for us both. This guys addvice is partly wrong though. Probiotics are just the good bacteria we need in our guts....sure getting a supplement after some antibiotics (which kill both the good and bad bacteria in the gut) is a good idea to repopulate your gut bacteria but its the prebiotics that will maintain it...prebiotics are the food these good bacteria bastards eat....and thats fucking fiber like we;ve been doing. Both soluble and insoluble, resistant starch all that crap. I think this may be an answer and it helped me work out this shit so ty to the guy I am replying to and OP I hope we get relief. If you have a burner emal you can give me I'll keep in touch with you to discuss this shit and any advancements

corona is mexican

Life changing. Clean wipes.
Gotta take twice a day everyday.

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this FIBER. INSOLUBLE fiber. The op or I don't have a problem getting fiber. Thats not the issue. TY for the attempt at help though

Just take a shit then jump in the shower (implying you do take them) then spread them cheeks

Based off of everything you said OP I think this is probably what you're looking at. Unless you added a daily medication or something years ago

I take this too. Helps with IBS

Just so you know, peppermint is supposed to be a fantastic treatment for IBS. I don't know if I have IBS but I'm willing to explore that idea by trying out psyllium even though I don't think thats it. Give peppermint a try to see if it helps your IBS. Check out nutritionfacts.org for info on that subject. just go there and type in IBS in the search

start a diet of cheese.

>Stop letting so many niggers cum up your asshole.
will do.
man i really wished i could avoid having to give a sample.

why do you want to not shit on a popsicle stick bro? Whats freaking you out about that? It's really not a big deal at all and very easy to do and give them. They give you the stick, the bad or cup or whatever and you drop it off...no one sees shit

give me a burner email and we'll go through this shit together bro. Seriously

consoom dairy if you want to have harder shits. youre dieting for somebody with constipation issues

So....your shit used to be normal...until ylu started eating too much fiber....stop eating so much fiber and your shit will re solidfy....eat bread or meat or cheese for fucks sake you moron lol too much fiber = messy shits.

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about 85% of the world are lactose intolerant you amerifag cunt....there's a reason for that. We weren't supposed to be fucking drinking millk past the age of fucking 2. Your government forced milk on you to make a bunch of rich cunts even richer....they found a way to turn all those fucking female cows into cash cows and the bulls into burgers and just bleed you fuckers dry thinking it was healthy.

Slimey shits itll be a log but itll just shoot outta yer asshole like a bobsled

lol..."stop eating fiber....eat bread" genius here folks...a real nutritionist

Rotflmao awesome

on a relatable note, anyone ever had rock hard shits they couldn't quiet push out?shitting bricks? Makes me almost want OPs problem of the soft shits

I think there are a lot of people loking at this thread who have the same problem but aren't talking about it. It's good to know and I wish some people would get involved

you are the knd of guy who has to do a few simple things. Drink more water, less pop and caffeine, eat more fiber, buy some metamucil or psyllium supplements, stop eating so much dairy an eat some more fucking vegetables and fruit. That will save your asshole and colon. Do it, start tomorrow

>consoom dairy
i do. a LOT !
>So....your shit used to be normal...until ylu started eating too much fiber
not really. the attention to fiber came as a possible solution. i don't know what started it.
>give me a burner email and we'll go through this shit together bro. Seriously
i will be posting updates on Cred Forums or /fit/ lol

ok bro, I wish we could talk through email....but DO NOT consume dairy to fix this problem. That presents a whole bunch of new problems and won't give you healthy shits. Eat your fiber and good vegetable and fruit. Try some stuff like saur kraut, probiotic supplements and kimchi (never tried that one myself)....kombucha or whatever it is. But honestly dude, I think we are both going to have to get a shit sample....don't be afraid of it. Who knows, maybe we got a parasite and it's easily fixed. No idea, but I'm tired of this shit

smeary shit orbiter

lol I don't understand the orbiter part

Thread slogan
Give a shit about your shits

thread slogan
Shittin' bricks about shit on sticks

Coffee enema

op you still around?

shit

M8 r u havin a fokin giggle?

poop, then hop inna shower

Really thought some cunt would post those log memes

I'm not going to drink meth idiot

>>consoom dairy
>i do. a LOT !
No. Bad!

Oh man I absolutely use peppermint. That and ginger are far better than any meds I've tried. Thanks user

Why are you asking a bunch of basement dwelling chronic masturbators medical advice moron

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I'm glad to hear! And I'm glad to hear it works...I've never really tried it but heard great things from nutritionfacts.org so that makes me happy to hear. Ginger is fucking incredible for all digestive issues....apparently helps you lose weight too. Ginger poweder is even better then ginger root just so you know....much much more concentrated. Same with garlic powder.

I hope at some point you realize that Dr's know fucking next to nothing about diet and proper foods and are trained pill pushers. Yes, they are important for a lot of diagnosese but they no shit all about diet remedies. You need to take control of your own life a lot of times or you become another sick person on meds that make you sicker

anyone shittin' proper yet?

>everyone on Cred Forums lives in a basement
Medfag here, my friend ran an HR department and shitposts on Cred Forums

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thats....thats fucking awesome

me. I wish I could stay awake longer but I have a sick family member and I know I will need to be up early. I hope some people learned something from this thread. I hope who oever reads this does some good in the world...small good to big good...it doesn't matter, just put good out there in this shit world. Be the light against the dark and you've served a purpose that is beyond what you think your purpose is.

Sorry for this faggot I believe I am the person he is referring to I have the same issue with blood as well which was solved by taking magnesium it's still soft but I'll be damned if it means I have to give up pop to make it hard again