Hey guys what’s wrong with me?

Hey guys what’s wrong with me?

>be me
>have strange things planned for very specific scenarios
>always have the things I need to do such actions in my car or my home
>be 10 minutes ago
>I see a older gentlemen and a younger gentlemen changing a tire
>likely a father and son
>it’s in a McDonald’s parking lot so I order 2 jr chicken
>I then park near them and watch the show of them changing tire while eating
>it’s a donut they have
>finally they finish the job
>it’s time.jpg
>grab combat knife I bough it’s K-Bar or some shit can’t remember
>hop out of running care leaving my door open
>slash tire
>get back in car and drive away
>drive to my gym and check it off my list of things
>in change room now

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

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I didn't even have to read all your symptoms to be able to diagnose you, OP, it's actually quite simple, you do all of those things because you're a gigantic faggot.

EMTfag reporting, can confirm. OP your case of faggotry may just be one for the record books.

What, do you have an asshole bucket list?

Post more scenarios you’re waiting for, and what you would do.

Many things are car related because people leave them unattended the most.

A few things that are harder is that I keep string on me to create tripping spots in narrow areas that might have high walking traffic. I really want to do it with mall food court tables but there has been no time where I can do it without being seen.

aint nothing wrong with wanting to stir up a lil mischief. ain't nobody get hurt then it's fair game as far as i see it. post some other scenarios you're waiting for.

Just curious. Does this amuse you OP? Like visible smile or audible chuckle during or after the event? Or do you just feel obligated in a sense?

I keep eggs in my trunk in case I see an open house window I already have done it to cars because it’s easy. The eggs are old and in a bag

kek that's fairly harmless, go on

Pure obligation it’s like putting together a plan.

I once poured apple cider vinegar on a library couch. Absolutely doused it.

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My 1st success was when I absolutely massacred the inside of a tube slide at age 12 with duct tape and plastic wrap.

I then shit and pissed down the slide.

lmao you must be retarded
>bend down and pretend to tie shoelaces
>tie fishing line to table leg
>sit at table across from first table
>repeat steps 1 and 2
If you want to watch it just browse one of the stores where you can still see the table, and then come back to another table with a magazine or something and a drink 30+ minutes later.

Bonus points if your shoelaces are actually untied. You can guarantee this by single knotting and tying loosely.
Bring a backpack with a laptop/book/whatever and use that for the second line tying and for when you go back to sit at the table.

I’ll give that a try, but part of the reason is I’m rarely at the mall.

Also it’s one of the worlds biggest malls I wanna do it at. I suppose you can guess the general area I’m in but it helps you better understand why specifically a mall.

One of the main points is to not seek it just be planned and prepared for it.

I would go out of my way before when I was younger but now it’s as it comes.

Also if you bring a laptop or phone charger in your backpack you can:
>bend down to tie laces
>check backpack for cable at opposite table
>move to table with outlet and view of trap
There, now you can save time and money.

Do you have an idea on how to steal the pants of a person pooping in a stall over?

Like this is a big one of mine, but it like is pure opportunity I think.

My brain activated I’ll purchase fishing wire spool and that way I can have it longer and tighten it.

:00000000000000 a revelation I shall make a network by walking though the food court walking around tables and at my final spot I can reel then tie it

Does it have to be pants?
The easiest thing I can think of would be to take someone’s clothes or bathing suit during the summer. If they have flip flops/sandals it would be easier, but shoes would still work if they’re wearing shorts.
>hide in stall and wait with pants down(it will really fuck with them for someone they think is actually shitting to just get up and steal pants)
>wait till their pants are down and they’re mid shitting
>pull up pants, flush toilet, walk out of stall
>quickly reach underneath stall from front and yank clothes around ankles
>fuckin book it and do whatever you want with clothes(e.g. trash can)
Bonus points if they’re already shirtless and you steal the towel and cellphone too.

You think a naked man would run after you into broad daylight at the beach? Once you make it out the door, no one would suspect a thing.

I mean short, sweats all the same. I guess a pool/beach would be aight.

The thing is it’s not as special there. Like to achieve a mans pants at the mall or some restaurant or business etc means more you know?

As usual because it’s late I think of stuff to add afterwards
Bonus points if you steal their shoes as well. And if you want to see what they’ll do, you can wear sunglasses, a pair of sweatpants and a jacket over your clothes while performing the deed. Only to take them off outside and shove them in a backpack to watch what happens.
>”but retard, what if they see the backpack?”
Just keep that shit off the ground in the stall and then chuck it somewhere not visible before stealing the clothes(on sink, on trash can, on door handle, whatever)

Well, I guess if you find a stall that opens outward instead of inwards, you could yank the person on the ground while pushing on the door to keep it closed.

No guarantees that this one would work though. And if it fails you go to jail for sexual assault.

See that’s the thing it can’t be a fight like it has to be some wingnut who takes their pants off to poo

Business man would be gold, but I don’t think anyone that successful does weird shit like that in public.

What I found was a good one was gluing pistachio shells to the ground.

I also did it with toys because children would want them really bad and parents would have to drag them away crying.

My favourite was when I watched a Somalian pry what he though was a functioning iPhone off the ground. (It was old and broken)

Real OCD mixed with massive faggotry and a dash of autism to boot. Also you probably couldnt slash a tire.

That’s funny as hell.
You should start filming these and bring back real pranks.

lmao it takes no effort to fuck up a tire.
You can just put down nails in front of the tire to rip open a nice chunk of the tire(or at least pop it).

Textbook asshole I used to be one
just being one gives you a feeling
of euphoria

So basically you can an hero and let the entirety of Cred Forums b watch you commit suicide you fucking bitch and newfag don't ever even think about greentexting shit again you fucking normie

Go watch porn on Cred Forums scum I’ve been here since I was 13. This is probably the most constructive thread here.