What's your perfect plan for getting away with murder Cred Forums? Every man thinks about it from time to time

What's your perfect plan for getting away with murder Cred Forums? Every man thinks about it from time to time.

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Early Patrick Bateman style. Some random homeless dude, knife and gloves. small space, no witnesses. Hiding the body is optional.

Yeah but I just don’t know Who I’d murder. I don’t hate anyone enough to justify killing them.

OK so step one: Don't talk about it.
Anyone who talks about it is already done for.
Thank me later.

>Some random
I always feel like this is kind of cheating, but it does work. If you have no connection to the victim, and you aren't a felon (dna database), they have almost no chance of catching you without something dumb, like getting caught red handed, driving your own car and someone catching the license plate on camera, etc.

The really ideal scenario is you coming across another like-minded individual, and agreeing to a "I'll do yours, you do mine" thing. The person you want to get gets got, but you get the benefits of a seemingly random murder, too.

Isn't that the plot of strangers on a train?

If you don't care who you're killing randomness is the way to go. Drifter, homeless, runaway. No-one cares. Another city, another state preferably.

I don't know, never heard of it.

I’d only discuss that information with people that aren’t government agents lol

Fuck off, FBI

Push them into an alkaline digester when no one is around. As long as no one considers it after 8 hours I'm scott free.

Fuck off, Dale Gribble, nobody on this shit hole is going to think of a scenario that they haven't already wargamed

first put on some plastic gloves and put it under a pair of thick glove but be careful not to touch it without it on first. second put on a mask and simply kill the person when no one looking and burn the body right there or leave it if you want. and lastly burn everything you use and wear when doing it and that should stop any dna or finger prints from being discover. fires are really useful of getting rid of evidence like that.

I think that would be prohibitively difficult to get access to, but if you could, that would basically immunize you to prosecution. They probably couldn't really prove that a human had died.

I let someone I've never met, spoken to or even heard of kill whoever they want then go on with my life like it never happened

I'd be Donald Trump.

The guy could chop the head off a baby on live national television and his mouth-breathing redneck supporters would still jerk off to him.

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I don't know. Been wondering for 20 years how this man got away with killing my parent. There were literally at least 10 different people walking near that place, no one has seen anything. He just took advantage of 10 minutes gap when the path was empty. For some that's enough of a plan.

Are you batman?
If not, why not?

I shall not ask for trouble.

>3 months into WW3
>rumors of a hung and erect Iranian are going around the American troops
>story goes he rapes those who travel alone at night
>normally no one would bat an eye, rapes in Iran? in other news: Water: wet
>thing is, apparently he's rapped half of a battalion
>the ones who get rapped go missing a few days after
>ff 4 years
>war's reached it's peak
>Russia has taken over most of Asia
>Japan's barley been able to fend them off
>USA and Canada decide to unify as one nation: The United Provinces of Tesla
>The UPT go to war with Mexico
>Meanwhile in Iran
>The rapist, through the sheer power of his massive dick has taken over most of the country
>UTP sends in a private military company to find out what happened
>4 weeks later UTP get's a message from a very scarred soldier
>The rapist had raped the entire company except for him
>When ever he rapes some one they become obsessed with his cock
>so obsessed that they go back to him, like they're under a spell
>he has an army of rapeies
>UTP decide to nuke Iran
>a fucking inhuman amount of jizz deflects the nuke into Egypt
>say good bye to the pyramids of Giza
>blacks riot across the world over the destruction of a culture they stole
>world war ends
>race war begins

But, now, I hear you wonder, "who was the rapist" Well, that's quite simple who else would star a race war while taking over Iran? Obama.

Wargame that motherfucker?

do the deed. have some dermestid beetles. they clean up the mess for you.

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Once read an idea a guy had about killing a dog and burying it out in a field somewhere and giving an user tip about the location. The cops come dig everything up and find a dog, then leave. Then you show up and bury the body of your victim where the cops dig everything up and left.

The old classic murder/suicide
Can't arrest a corpse

I don’t plan on getting away with it. Im just going to walk up to my ex’s bf, give him a jab cross, go for a double leg takedown, then 12-6 elbow his head until his skull cracks open. Then I put my ex in a rear naked choke until she turns purple and I rape her dead body. Then I shoot myself in the head. Theoretically of course.

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cannibalize the body including the bones
no body no crime

The hiking trip is a classic scenario for murder.

You could push someone off a cliff, and if there's no one around you could never really prove that the victim didn't just slip and fall on their own. Tragic

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Join the police force and you're already 80% innocent.

>Early Patrick Bateman style. Some random homeless dude, knife and gloves. small space, no witnesses. Hiding the body is optional.
You do know that he himself wanted to get caught in the movie, right? And on top of that, Bale didn't approach the role like something that would realistically happen.

I'm aware. I'm not talking about intention, only execution, pun intended

I always thought it would be hilarious to murder someone and try to hide the body under the carpet or the couch cushions like a little kid or something

1) Become a cop.

2) make sure my victim is not another cop.

3) kill them in broad daylight, under a video camera, doesnt matter

4) claim I was afraid for my life