How do i kill my girlfriends dog without it throwing up everywhere and without it being totally obvious that it was me?

how do i kill my girlfriends dog without it throwing up everywhere and without it being totally obvious that it was me?

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you're fucked
and get fucked

Wouldn't it be easier to kill yourself?

By killing yourself

Mix bleach and ammonia together and drink it.

She'll never suspect a thing.

Dump your gf and get another one that doesn't have a dog. You'd be doing her and her dog a favour since you're obviously a selfish fucking sociopath.

why every woman have dog?

Just take him for the nicest, longest car ride he's ever seen. He'll be so excited, tail wagging all along the way. Once you're a few miles out of your city in some wilds, let the little fucker free on his greatest run. Then just drive home, feign surprise when she notices his absence, and help her put up wanted posters/et cetera.
Voila!

The dog is more important. Leave her instead.

Don't believe me? Okay. Have you ever called her a bitch? If course you did. You hate her. There I fixed your relationship.

Sincerely,
Miss Cleo

You got issues buddy, hope you are using a VPN.

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A few miles is not going to do it. Dogs come home from 30 miles all the time.

OP is a fag, but it's not illegal to ask how to kill a dog.

I love how people like this guy think 4 chan is full of sick fucks who want to give retards the means to commit heinous acts.
No. Cred Forums commits heinous acts of it's own choosing to retards.
Just don't be with your girlfriend you selfish fucking bastard.
The dog didn't do anything that wrong to where you need to do that. You and her are better off with you just killing yourself.

you are right. Asking how to kill animals (hunting) is legal, on the other hand Asking how to kill Domesticated animals is not legal anymore since the whole federal animal abuse law took effect and is a serial killer mentality and gets you on a watchlist.

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ok shut up faggot you don't speak for everyone.

Just "trip" over the dog and ram your knee into his ribs. Internal bleeding commenced. It'll probably be too expensive to save so she'll have to euthanize it. Bye bye doggo

Its all here for reference:

patience-is-
a-virtue
.org

Let it out during your city's rush hours "by accident"

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^ gets it.
^ does not.

Faggot.

kill your self first

That's dumb. Most dogs that die early die in car accidents with injuries indistinguishable from being hit in the head with a baseball bat, run over, and then left in the middle of a road.

You don't, you faggot.

Why?

>Asking how to kill Domesticated animals is not legal anymore
Talking about it is still legal.

Hey OP, nuke yourself.

lrn2rd