Effective or questionable parenting

Effective or questionable parenting.
Share parenting stories that you remember that were very effective or very ineffective (traumatic) and backfired / had side effects. Find out whether the experiences you made were normal or very abnormal by sharing with us.

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My mother played a joke on me by pretending to intend to cut my hand off for punishment for stealing some toy or some shit. I was probably between 6 to 8 years old and had the habit of stealing toys from other kids because I had none and other kids had literally a room full of them. I know stealing is shit but I didn't think of consequences as a kid. Anyway, she was in the kitchen cutting chicken with a knife that is designed to chop through bone and when I was looking what's for dinner she suddenly grabbed my arm and held it on the cutting board while yelling at me for stealing again and that she'll cut off my hand so that I can never steal again. I just remember trying to free my hand but she was much stronger than me and that is the end of the memory.

I think this is a pretty bad parenting style because it didn't make me stop stealing but it might be one of the factors why I don't feel a bond to my mother.

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More milkies please

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My mom basically cucked me

She had like 3 marriges + 2 boyfriends and was kind of a retard.

>My mom basically cucked me
Thanks for so freely admitting you want to fuck your mom

What do you do when you’re so enraged at your parents you might harm yourself?

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That’s not what he meant.

Damn bro, I don't get the cucked part, but I can empathize with having a retarded mother.
Hope things turned out alright, pal.

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What do you mean by your mother cucking you? I could imagine it's really weird seeing your mother with different partners. Did this influence your relationship to females / dating in general?

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Why would you harm yourself when you are mad at your parents? Isn't it more likely that you might turn violent against them?

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My mother had the tendency to use the "eye for an eye" strategy of the "feedback" strategy.

For example, when I was a baby I peed when she was changing diapers. She told me that she taught me to not piss freely in these situations by aiming my dick to my face so that I would piss myself in the face. She was pretty proud about that discovery, actually.

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It made me want to date the opposite of my mother, if a girl displays any characteristics of my mom i am kind of repulsed.

By cucking i meant alot of guys came around and fucked my mom basically and as a male that effects my pride.

imgur.com/9Ura7Wg

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omg! who's that? I think i'm in love!

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You harm them instead, duh.

Don't be a pussy.
Who cares?

Fucking trigger discipline.

That's what I thought but good to know that I didn't misunderstand you.

I'm kinda the same in relation to dating preferences. My mother was a low iq idiot that drilled into us that it's harmful for us to be too intelligent, whatever she meant.
I prefer females that have high iq and don't have a violent temperament due to my childhood experiences.

It's funny that when I confronted her with things that I thought were fucked up (her parenting, etc) she said that I just remember it wrong. I think that is called gaslighting.

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You and my mother would be a good match.

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Did you have perfect parents? Why don't you share with us instead of hiding behind your toughness?

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yeah, i think most of the time people unconsciously date people similar to their parents, unless the childhood was shit

Seriously... WTF?

sorry, don't have a source.

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OP here, I've to rush to the store, brb.

I would appreciate it if you guys could keep this alive by posting more milkies.

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Don't live through your kid as of they are an extension of you. They didn't fucking choose to be made and "carry on" whatever bullshit beliefs you have. Recognize they will be their own being, who may have opinions and interests different than both you, and different than what may be considered "normal". You must be ok with this, as long as they are happy and not physically or emotionally abusing anyone, otherwise you have no place having a child.

That might be true, but in my case it's definitely also a conscious decision.

Very good points, also nice trips, Satan

Hail Satan trips. Also this probably made me sound like a trap faggot who's parents didn't accept him. Actually quite the opposite, was very intelligent and successful growing up, am 32yo with a net worth of about half a million so far, but me and my mom will never get along, and I have had self esteem and anxiety issues my whole life, because she has a mental image of who she wants me to be, and has an "answer" for what I should do in every given life situation, and if I refuse to follow it, I'm wrong in her mind, all because she can't realize that what I do with my life literally has no effect on her life once I moved out and started my own life, and still wants to micromanage every decision I make.

Suck it up buttercup

My mom actually did cut off my hand for stealing. After that, I could only steal half as much, and typing took twice as long. 12 out of 10 effective

Satan in here with the actual advice

eye for an eye is shitty in general, but making a baby piss in their own face is pretty fucking funny

Anybody got a name or a gallery?

This is pretty solid. My kid only came up and hit me upside the head with a toy one time and I took it and clubbed him back KO woke up from his nappie a few minutes later. After everything settled from the DCFS investigation(preschool reported the goose egg), little fucker talked with a bit of a stutter, but never pulled that shit again.

Not at all.
That's the point.
I'm an adult.
Dwelling in the past has never, ever solved anything.
It's over.
Move the fuck on.

Good for you, now the little fucker will have retarded genes, and a stutter, that'll teach him!

He's 10 now and that was 6 years ago making straight A's in school speech therapy has almost eliminated his stutter. He just voted for Donald Trump in his 3rd grade "election" so obviously the kid is thinking solidly.

Pretty much she made him watch her getting dick!

My mom had me when she was only 16, so growing up I always had the youngest, hottest mom.

She used to scratch my back with her long nails, and in return she would have me rub her feet. As a result, I have a foot and nail fetish as well as a massive oedipus complex. I eventually found dozens of old nudes and pics from when she was in her 20's.

I only pursue women who look like her. Pic related.

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Her name is Shelly Mancini. She and her husband used to post on various sites under the name Shellynhubby.

God damn, I guess I have to suck it up, then.

Just curious, how often do you speak with your parents / mother? I limit my contact to a few email per year, but that mainly because we don't really have anything to say to each other.

If she had been consequent with her punishment, we would have to live without your funny comment. We are blessed. Ok, you funny.

It actually works as intended, as it seems. But don't ask me how she made me stop shitting in my pants.

Is the thing with the stutter for real? I had a severe speech impediment growing up that made me functionally mute at times.

You are right, but I want to avoid fucking up my children, if at all possible.

>Lookeveryoneimprojecting.jpg

Did your parents hit you upside the head?

>insert silly troll post
I have a funny story but I don’t think it’s worth the effort

I visit about once a week. Love her, she is getting better the more I've tried to set boundaries, but it'll never go away completely. Have just learned to agree with her when she gives her opinion I didn't ask for, and go and do my own thing anyway lol. It only harms our relationship because I divulge less of what is going on in my life to her, the more she tries to force her opinion on me or gets hasty if I disagree.

I fucked up pretty bad one time when I was like 12 me and some freinds got caught breaking into a school. My dad looked at me and told me he was disgusted with my actions and sternly said I'm not even gonna beat you tight now because I know I wont stop if I start scared the shit out of me. I would say it was pretty damn effective never broke in anywhere after that

Did your parents teach you how to act when you get bullied?
My dad was a hippie and raised me to never get into fights or to run away. I could do that because I was a huge pussy as a kid but I do wonder if teaching your kids to defend themselves against bullies would have been a better strategy.

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So don't fuck 'em up then.
What's the issue?
If you think you know what the wrong way is to do things then you must have some idea of what's right.
Do that.
Raising kids really isn't that hard.
Don't be a cunt.
Simple as that.

If someone bullies my kid I will take it to the teacher first, if she doesn't fix it, the principal, and if he doesn't fix it, my kid has my full permission to punch the bully in the face.

mom caught me jacking off to some gianna michaels porn.
She later lectured me about porn and how to treat a woman and somehow segwayed into animal porn.
Kinda disturbing

Once a week, wow. Do you see eye to eye with her in terms of religion? I'm an atheist and my mom is in a sect so we stopped talking about religion because we only try to convert each other, which doesn't work because I use logic and she something else.

Damn, you got a wise dad, I hope you take good care of him when he's older.

Thats what happens for being a nigger, ya fuckin' nigger

I think Hitler didn't intended to be a cunt, but look what happened. He build the autobahn.

I can't argue with your kind of logic.

I am not the most religious. My mom is one of those people who prays to God when she wants good things to happen but doesn't act very Christian. We really don't talk about deeper issues that much because she just has an opinion about everything and if you provide any logic to the opposing stance, she gets mad and becomes condescending Because she thinks you're saying she is stupid.

This is how my dad handled things and also how I handled shit with my daughter. She had a bully. I asked if she told the teacher. She said yes. So I told her I will not punish her if she needs to take care of it herself. I told her if the boy hits or pinches her again to just hit him as hard as she could. She did and I did not punish her. My daughters mother was furious and wanted me to talk to her so I told my kid she did good and I'm not mad but to tell her mother that I told her it's wrong. Bla bla bla

Oh I plan on it. I have a child of my own now and I'm going with the best advice he has ever given me. He told me the only way to raise a kid is to try your best and hope you dont fuck up too bad.

That reminds me of my sister and I when talking about supernatural things/religion...
She just starts to cry when her non-arguments don't work and that's the end of the conversation.

I would've made you take a shit and shower while I watched, hit you with a bar of soap in a sock when you least expect it, and told you you're lucky I didn't ass rape you because they'd have done all 3 in prison 2 outta 3 ain't bad huh

Fuck yeah and if it's my son and it's a girl bully too I'd just tell him to rape her. Show that fuckin bitch.

This does work if the kid comes to you with problems like bullying. I might be retarded or autistic - I didn't think my parents would do anything so I kept it for myself.
I know now that if I have kids I must try to keep up to date what's happening in his life, especially if the child stops to play with other children and only plays alone on a computer.

What? Animal porn? I kinda need details, buddy. Don't be a tease!

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It affects your spelling as well. Affects, not effects. To effect something means to bring it about, like 'effecting change'.

Not gonna lie kid you sound pretty weird and like your family was a bunch of whack jobs. Maybe you should look into some counseling or psychiatry. I do both. Has helped very much.

I think you did the right thing. But what would the mom have done instead? Just nothing?

name pls

There's a difference between dwelling in the past, and being aware of its effects. Thinking that it doesn't affect you still, and that you are "an adult", sounds more like denial to me. And you can reply and be all macho and that will just add to the diagnosis. Or tell us, how did you get fucked up and what have you done to deal with it?

Same here. I'd have probably got in trouble for it but growing up the mayor of pussytown I would never encourage my own kid to take shit like a little bitch like I did

tbh it wasnt anything wild.
She just told me that sex with animals is wrong because they cant think like humans do and they cant choose for themselves lol

Funny but too subtle for Cred Forums these days.

I don't think so, usually I was hit in the face.

How about a TLDR?

But regularly? I only hit my kid in the head that one time. Maybe that's why his stutter was rare and your was more frequent.

During the divorce my mother tried to prove that I was being abused by my father during visits or whoever was watching me while he was supposed to be there.

Pediatrician told her to get a Polaroid Camera and document the bruises. They’re too stupid to know how to properly use a camera so the photos show nothing, just me naked and scared/confused.

Found the pictures when I was about 6, thought they were funny until my mom ripped them from my hand. I couldn’t understand why they existed. About to turn 29. Trying to finally cope with therapy. It was like finding CP of yourself but not really. It was like finding proof of a reality that didn’t exists. It’s all in my imagination, hidden in my past, hidden from actually happening. I can’t explain what the experience was like but it fucked me up pretty hardcore. I also found a cassette tape recording of myself having nightmares and admitting dad drank around me.

It was a nasty divorce and they damn near ripped my arms off (mom and his ex) up until the day he died. Feels good to get it out.

Hasn't happened yet but I'm the same with mine. Teaching her how to defend herself, while mother is, I don't know exactly, some kind of 'progressive' pacifist; I'm a liberal commie but when did that ever mean don't defend yourself?

I had a few hours of trauma counseling, which fucked my up by reminding me of things I repressed. I just figured that doing starting strength does me more good and costs less.

Thank you, it's like saying: don't be a pussy. What does that mean? Suffering in silence to appear more manly?

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I guess I'm failing to see what was so traumatic here? Literally every kid who's parents divorce when they are young deals with this shit. You found some naked photos of you and a recording of you saying you had nightmares and your dad drank around you? Who the fuck hasn't seen a naked photo of themselves as a child, had nightmares, or had a caregiver who drank a little too much sometimes. Like literally what the fuck out of this has traumatized you? How did your mom and your dad's ex rip your arms off? Are you high?

Well, the Dcfs thing was a bit much.

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I'd say keep doing SS and seek out more therapy. Good on you for picking up weights though. Lot of other things you could've turned to like alcohol and drugs. That alone tells me you'll be alright kid. Trust me.

I wonder what a bully wants/needs. How is one created?

thats funny. so weird to talk with your kid about things like sex with animals.

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I pull all my eyelashes out

I was starved for toys so I kept stealing toys. I was a bad kid but I was so bored because we didn't have internet and I wasn't a big reader.

Yeah idk kid hope you turn out ok good luck like I said mines doing good now

Is your name Chris?

yeah, makes me wonder if she ever tried it out

>I was so bored because we didn't have internet
The internet didn't exist as a commercial thing until I was in my early 30's. People did do other stuff before the internet, y'know.

How old are you? Jesus

57

It's so fucked up to see your parents arguing as a kid.
How did this influence your current life, especially the relationship to your partner / parents?

Who is this??

Right on I didn't even know people that old existed here.
arguing is a part of life gtf over it

>deal with it
You "deal with it" by moving on.
It is it's own solution.
There's nothing I can tell you in a fucking Cred Forums post, other than maybe to start reading up on the principles of stoicism.

Yeah I haven't been in a while, occasionally drop in to see if there is something other than porn threads. Age really is just a number. Look after your body and keep an open mind.

Oh, I spend years of my life smoking/growing pot and drinking while using modafinil. I had several nervous breakdowns, lots of trouble with bullying in my firm but somehow ended up getting my bullies fired by replacing their product with something better (EEng here). Was a wild ride, now I only drink occasionally. Never had a relationship, never kissed, will probably die alone because I don't want to burden another person with my shit.

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Damn, I'm only 35. Are you pulling our legs with your age?

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There is a strength in that, but I tend to notice pros and cons in everything. Or yin and yang, if you like. The more one goes towards extremes, the less useful and sustainable they are. Extreme stoicism potentially leading to denial and suppression, vs. extreme therapy addiction leading to victimhood, not being able to function in the present, etc.

Ok rape is not on the same level as pinching or punching. So you sir are a faggot

Arguing is one thing. Cutting dads nuts off (figuratively) in front of your kids is not very helpful.

Not taking the bait but here is a you

If you think I'm Chris-chan, I have to disappoint you.

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How about asking her low key and report back?

No, why would I? I've talked to guys older than me here, you know from the references that they're legit. I've always been into counter culture stuff and finding Cred Forums as it was 10 or 11 years ago (so not an oldfag) was like coming home. Yes, it's changed.

Yes the mother did nothing. Wanted to talk to the teacher about it. Keep in mind we had already talked to the teacher and during that last discussion the teacher stated if it continued to happen they would have to be separated into different classrooms. That's not gonna work because then my kid just gets bullied at recess where nobody will see it. So fuck that had to teach my kid to take things into her own hands sometimes. You can only follow the chain of command so far before it's no longer cared about

I used stoicism during my studies, since I had to get my degree to feed myself / pay off debt. Now I have time to analyse things to satisfy my curiosity.

BTW, I'm 35 years old. But socially retarded like a boss so I seem younger than I am.

Thankfully me and the mom split up I cant stand the way she is. I couldnt take it anymore. I tried so hard to stick around for my daughters sake but I just couldnt. Sometimes i feel bad about it but I just try to make the time I have with my child awsome for her. So I spend alot of money taking her to the arcade and minigolfing and all kinds of shit she likes to do.

I love you too Cred Forums

I’ve known nothing but shame since I was a very very tiny kid. And yes, there are baby pictures where you’re naked. But imagine having a home with two parents, then none, then having to strip before and after each visit, have a bunch of old people in a court room look at you, decide it didn’t matter, your mother keeps them around not imagining that she’s putting this image, whether real or not “YOU WERE ABUSED.” The idea that trying to prove that I was abused became the abuse, that’s what fucks with my head. That’s what distorts and warps my personality. I took it out on my first girlfriend I think. Took LOADS of pictures of her.

Also my dad drunkenly forced me down to sleep with him on a couch when I was crying to go home one time and started moaning and touching me up at down until I got the strength to get away...so there’s always that. That memory came back to me in my 20s.

Sorry if my trauma is lesser than anyone else’s. That’s why I like to keep it to myself. It’s not real trauma till there’s blood in the diaper. Fuck y’all.

Your approach seen pretty solid. I probably wouldn't have the discipline to wait for the school to act. I would have probably taught my kid to make some friends that help to stand up against the bully.

That's good to hear, make some good memories. Trust me, lacking these good memories with your parents does suck. But please don't equate spending money with a good time. The thing I miss/lack the most is talking with my parents as a kid. My parents thought I was retarded as a kid so they didn't think I could understand them. Turned out I'm mildly autistic.

Same here. For all her "progessive" facade she turned out to be a vicious callous narcissist. The stress nearly killed me, been out a year now and still recovering. Leaving my kid was the hardest thing I've ever done but I realised I was no good to her dead and I really thought I was heading for a heart attack. I know what you mean about making your time together awesome. I do spoil her a bit but I also check any attitude I think she's learning from her mother. She's not like her mother and I remind her of that sometimes.

I'm really sorry for how that must have been traumatic for you. But at the same time that is kind of funny, being able to understand parents who think you can't. I wonder what their conversations were like... 'shall we go and have sex? Little retard will be OK here for half an hour..." "Should we get little retard put in a home?" "MOM! DAD! I CAN HEAR YOU" silently mouthing the words... "Oh look he's drooling again..."

Don't let a small, vocal minority (with severely traumatic experiences) make you suffer in silence. It is pointless to compare the pain one has with that of another person. Pain is not an absolute value. It's like being poor. Being poor where everyone is as poor as you doesn't hurt. Being the "poor kid" in a rich neighborhood sucks much more, although both poor kids have the same amount of resources available.

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I wasn't a full retard. I mean, I got a degree in electrical engineering, so there are things I do understand. Dealing and learning from people is challenging for me.

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kek

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newfag, thanks for showing respcet

I can't wait to see how my generation is like when we are at the age to retire. I'll probably be having lan parties playing old battlefield games or something.

>mother lives with sister
>Sister's in laws and SIL also live there
>Mother has various mental health issues
>Sister won't confront her SIL on household issues
>Lashes out at mother
>because it's mom
>Mother has break down
>Comes to stay with me and my family for a few weeks
>Takes mother a couple weeks to get right in the head again
>goes back to sisters

This is a revolving issue. Happens every 5 to 6 months. They never really talk anything out, just let time pass between them.

I've let all parties know that we're not happy with this situation. I get told how we should be more understanding.

So we get "broken" mom for a few weeks and sister gets "fixed" mom for a few months.

Hoping they both just die in the near future.

Thanks for reading

I don't have experience with family therapy, but if that's an recurring issue that might be worth trying.

If all else fails I would just move out asap. I did at 17, best decision ever.

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