Doctor stories general

this is now a hemmy thread.
tips on making these fuckers less annoying?

>internal hemmy used to bleed nearly every day
>nothing major, just enough to be annoying as fuck. itchy and blood when I wiped.
>start bathing every day instead of showering, sleeping naked w no covers, and wearing pants and underwear a size up
>bleeding stops within the week and hemmy barely itchy anymore. feel like it's basically disappeared

can u expIain the feeIing? think i have one, feeIs Iike i need to wipe my ass aII the time, itchy etc

yeah basically. spread your cheeks in the mirror, see if you can see it. if no, it may be internal

wiII u do it for me

I have done the same thing, and it's been more than one year.
Hemmoroids, DIY

will I spread your cheeks?
only if you lube me up user

>be me in November 2017
>have unexplained harsh pain in left abdomen for two days
>family and coworkers say I should go to ER incase of hernia pinching intestine or pancreatitis
>don't want to go because no insurance, but they get me worried

>go to ER and they get me to a bed
>they freak out saying my blood pressure is within stroke range
>probably cause I am nervous, they monitor it but it goes down quickly
>wait about 30 minutes while drinking liquids for ct, then they take me to a room for a scan of my abdomen
>go back to bed, wait another 20 minutes or so
>doctor comes in and says well we don't see anything wrong so you're free to go.
>go to general practitioner
>he says I probably have colitis, an infection
>prescribes antibiotics
>they make no change
>general practitioner gets raided and shut down by feds for shilling painkillers before my follow up appointment comes

Got bills in the mail. $2400 for the use of the hospital bed, $400 for the use of the scan machine, $430 for the five minutes of the doctor's time.

Fuck me. Still have left side pains everyday. Right now in fact.

reading this makes me realise I take the NHS for granted. godspeed user, hope you work out that bill

>because no insurance
Fucking Shards!

Attached: cunts.jpg (474x316, 39K)

Dude, I had a syncope, went to the ER, seen a neurologist, cardiologist, got an MRI, doppler something for the heart, got an EEG and all I paid was $45 for the EEG.
The ER was covered by the government insurance and the rest by a subscription my workplace pays to a private hospital.

Paid off the doc and scan bills first. At about $2100 left on the big one. As long as I give them $50.00 a month they won't fuck my credit score to shit so... thanks man it's a process. Maybe once I have it paid off I can try and find out what's actually wrong lol.

I don't understand the slang for what a shard is?

I have/had no insurance. The most basic bronze level insurance here for a single white male in 20s with no dependents is $245.00 a month.

Shards do shard in mart :3

>2100
>50 a month
if I had cash, I would Venmo you some or something

The fuck when you a Burger.

I appreciate the sentiment.

Sorry. No comprende.

A shard is an American? Huh. Never read that before till today.

AMERICANS SHIT THEIR PANTS WHILE SHOPPING AT WAL MART

I understand every word of that, individually.

How did you guys get your hemorrhoids? Too much time spent on the toilet taking a shit?

That sucks man. Healthcare is basically free where I live, can't even imagine getting fucked financially by going to the doctor. Watch Uncle Dolan - Cat in the Roof on Youtube and have a laugh, hope it makes you feel better fot a few minuters. Fingers crossed for you re the health and shit Cred Forumsro.

It's probably happened. I only go to Wal-mart for affordable clothing, so I am not there often. Theres a bigger grocery chain here called H.E.B and I am sure people shit themselves there as well.

I too am wondering why the toothbrush? Would it press against the thing or how did it help? Had a external one treated it with sone ointment from the doctor, it just shrunk away over the span of a few days. Those are the reason im afraid of sticking things up my butt cause im to scared to get a hem again

Thanks bro. I'm hoping for the best. It hasn't killed me yet so.

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Ah. "Shart in mart".

A "shard" is a fragment or piece of something hard/brittle. When you break a bottle, the pieces of glass could accurately be described as "shards of glass"

>ate out a chicks ass
>few days later get super sick. Fever, rash, really bad like flew symptoms
>google and webmd say I got the AIDS
>well shit.jpg
>it comes and goes for a month
>there are days were I feel like death is coming and days were I just feel awful
>just keep ignoring it because I don't want the AIDS and if I do have it, just don't want to tell anyone, rather just die alone in my apartment and have my cat eat me.
>Start getting sores on my lips and mouth. Gums are bleeding like crazy. Wedmd confirms super aids
>can't eat, living a life of misery or chicken broth and orajel
>finally can't take it anymore go to the dentist
>Dentist "Oh shit, you've got a bad bacterial infection. Like it's almost trench mouth/ANUG. You could've lost your whole jaw and shit, why didn't you come sooner?
>shrugs, I thought it was AIDS
>spend the next two hours while they sand blast my mouth
>get a dose of antibiotics, within an hour I feel 100% better
>most they can figure is that when we went out to eat a piece of tortilla chip cut my gums and got logged up in a tooth, causing an unseen open sort
>the bacteria from her ass got in the wound

Lesson learned, only eat ass in the shower and use a shit ton of mouth was after

>have hemmy
>itchy ass whenever I poop no matter how much I wipe
>change entire diet to fix, doesnt fix
>go see doctor
>says I have hemmy, gives me suppositories and cream, says if they don't work the next step is going under anaesthetic and having it cut open
>use all suppositories and cream like I'm supposed to
>still there, arguably bigger now
>have doctors appointment on the 28th to review what to do
>mfw I read this post
I'm starting to rethink things now

youtu.be/sl2vJHdHDL4

Pls no bully.

>Have gigantic wart on tip of index finger

>keep it bandaged 24/7 because it's disfiguring and gross

I've tried everything the doctors have thought of. Many different kinds of blistering agents and acids, freezing it repeatedly, shaving it off with a razor blade, etc.

Among the most unpleasant treatments I went in for was one that required injections under the fingernail.

A different time I got a massive shot in the center of my palm; that one hurt like a motherfucker.

Attached: 1579385961304.jpg (326x315, 16K)

>>for the next 7 days I sit in the bathtub 3x a day for 20 minutes to let mr hemmy soak and I force back into my anal wall with my finger
Why the fuck didn't you just do this in the first place ??

avoiding work, sitting on toilet, browsing Cred Forums and playing candy crush

Thank you for the context. I was not on Cred Forums from 2014-2017 so...

I live in Ireland where we practically have the NHS Lite and I've thought about taking it for granted in comparison to the US but its literally a competition of who's shittier, having to wait nearly a month to see a doctor meaning anything ailing you will either fuck off or kill you by the time the appointment comes up, as well as literally every other aspect of the HSE being completely shit. Have to go to the ER? expect to be there all day. Things like therapists and psychiatrists are understaffed to the point where unless you're literally a danger to yourself or others every single day, you're good to go.

I got a big "roid once. Like the big painful black and blue ones that just won't go back in your asshole.

Was back when I was a park ranger out in the middle of nowhere. No one to fill in for me and I couldn't just leave my post although I tried but boss said no way, because it will likely go away on its on in 2-4 weeks.

In the meantime it's the worst pain I ever felt. One night, I just drank a whole bottle of cheap whiskey to dull the pain. With liquid courage, I heated up the small knife of my pocket knife over a propane stove and then pushed it into the 'roid itself.

Squeezed out the blood clot and then stuffed my ass with bandage. Instant relief.

Fucking newfag.

I think in had one last month. Hurt like hell to shit. Felt like shitting razor blades. One day I noticed a bunch of blood in the water and it freaked me out. It went away on it's own eventually.

>ER
at least make it believable

does jamming a hemmie with a knife not hurt excruciatingly?

wdym? I usually call it A&E but I just read the anons post about the hospital bills so I figured I'd make it more understandable for Americans

well i was drunk, the knife with really sharp, didn't feel much except a slight pain when I stuck it in. Nothing comparable to the pain I was already in. Squeezing the blood clot out hurt worse then the cut.

If you had called it the A&E I would not have understood what that was so thanks. Americans know A&E as a television channel.

Got fucking lucky my man. I dropped out of dental school but before I did we used to offer free dental care in exchange for practice for the students. A normal guy mid 40s came in, had a huge bacterial infection in his gums. Teeth literally almost falling out. Press on gums and see puss just oozing out. I call my attending and have him look, rushes the the dude to the E.R. immediately. Found out the guy died a day later.
Take care of your fucking teeth annons. Shits no joke.

yeah I wasn't much of a flosser before this. Now 100% into the flossing game. For me it wasn't a matter of not brushing. Just being an idiot with my health.

funny that as when I hear ER I think of the TV show from the mid 90s

This one time I took the shower head off and put it up my ass, I figured it was like an enema but cheaper. Strange ass feeling, basically fired shit out of my ass for 20 minutes straight afterwards.

A week went buy and I was having serious indigestion after eating and kept leaking slime from my ass and felt really bloated. Turns out I virtually popped my colon and was leaking blood and gas into my body. The op was simple they stitched me up, but recovery took several months I had some serious infections.

probably a really dumb question but does not brushing decrease the structural density of teeth?

>shower head off and put it up my ass

what the fuck man

Because no insurance.

I HAD insurance, fucked up my shoulder at work, but went home before I realized how bad it was. They claimed I injured it at home and refused to pay for it. Need 6 months of physical therapy. Insurance pays 80%, still leaves me with $200 per per month for 6 months, plus like $500 for scans and shit.

With insurance, a fucking shoulder tear cost me around $3000 total, and I didn't even require surgery. Could have been 5 times that if it had...

US healthcare system is fucked.

No joke, just put duct tape on it. Keep it there 24/7, replace as the stickiness wears out. It will eventually kill it. There's something in the adhesive that's more effective than any other known medicine on that shit. This sounds like BS, but I'm super cereal. Google it if you don't believe me.

Duct tape killed the ones on my feet in just 2 weeks.

What the actual fuck. I fucked up my ancle bad two years ago. Needed xrays, a cast, three visits to the traumatologist, pills. All in all I payed out of pocket like USD$20. And I live in a proper proper PROPER shit hole country.
You guys have actual spaceships and shit. Fix your healthcare lol.

lel. nigger, considering the fact that your consuming a drug on a regular basis, without telling you doc, IS ACTUALLY the reason why he didnt give you the proper anestheticum in the first place makes deserve what you got.

try metamucil, my hemmys are in alot better shape with smooth poops / less wiping

Eat more fruit and fibre so your turds slip out like an otter off the riverbank. Straining is the worst thing.

imgur.com/y0sy61K

youre not freezing it deep enough,
if the blister does not reach deep enough below and around the wart it will stay there,

i burned mine off over a week using a hemp string,
light string, blow flame out , put cherry end of string up to wart until i couldnt stand it anymore, careful not to do too much damage at once, repeated these steps and now have a wart free finger!

>metamucil
I've already got psyllium husk fiber supplement tablets, recommended is 2 a day, got fed up so I slammed 10 and it still didn't do "shit" hue, no but seriously even 10 didn't do anything to get smooth solid poops

it wasnt always this bad.
just in the last 10 years my rates have tripled. my income has not

also try TCA, google chemoablation of wart with tca

Is that a HEMI?

Attached: hemi.jpg (480x360, 15K)

Bah some docs are shitier. Yours prolly will know how to numb you up better.

>general practitioner gets raided and shut down by feds for shilling painkillers before my follow up appointment comes
Lmao fucking Americans. But free health care and generic medication is a bad thing right?

NHS is great for emergencies and stuff like that but when you have to really rely on it like my sister, who was just diagnosed with MS or my gf who has chronic pain and a host of other problems, it really lets us down.

THIS WORKS used it 2x totally effective.

Also, to kill athlete's foot and other foot fungus like toenail fungus use Vick Vaporub. No shit, that works too,

damn ive never tried the pills but the drinkable kind seems to do wonders for me, if you take too much it can make things worse.

i had a colonoscopy at age 24 due to hemmys, shit was not ideal.

NOTHING IS FREE!

I do trust him to do shit right as he's been a really decent doc so far, The surgery would be done by a practitioner I've already met too as I had a pilonidal sinus about a year ago

Heres my baby hemi thread
>occasionally get fucked in the ass, play with my asshole a lot with big toys
>notice lil hemi is developing so i get a lil scared so i stop doing it a lot
>occasionally finger my as and try to push ym hemi in and shit, doesent work
>one day i just say fuck it and play with a big toy, fucking streaches my asshole so much, pushes my hemi in
>feels good man
>now i train my asshole like a pornstar sometimes and push my anus hemi in after i poop before i shower so its not sticking out
all you need is hemi tranning and its all good man. got to get that boi pussy and you will never get a serious hemi.
also use a lotta lube when doing anal

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No treatments for warts actually work, when they do it is just coincidence.

Over a long period of time, can be multiple years, the immune system eventually recognises them as foreign and gets rid of them. Either with treatment or without.

Chronic pain in general people just have to suck it up, nothing works for it, that's why it is one of the most common health issues.

It's a waste of NHS resources because people don't understand the limits of managing chronic pain and expect and demand miracles.

>occasionally get fucked in the ass,
Stoped reading right there.
Dont listen to this degenerate, go to a doctor.

pressure for healing

I was OK with everything up until here
>playing candy crush
This is too far, you need to kys.

We're trying, the fucking reds keep cockblocking us kek

imgur.com/y0sy61K

sad

aint clicking that shit nigga

post pics pls

Pls dont.

pls do.

>yeah bro let me see your hairy infected asshole lump
the state of you discord pedos

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nigga I wasn't talking about the asshole

the old way of fixing hemmies was a butt plug. It would stretch it out and allow the blood to flow out, thus shrink.

Maeng Da Kratom works for my back pain. I use it every day.

Yep he was prescribing them like hotcakes people would literally be on their phones arrainging drug deals in the doc office lobby.

I have one on my sphincter, looks like a tiny uvula bump. Doesn't itch too often but whenever I take a massive hard shit it bleeds all over the bowl.

so when aroused you get "tighter"?

I had a hemorrhoid once. That hemorrhoid turned into a goddamn large skin tag right on my asshole. No pics, unless your kink is anal skin tags, then I'd consider.