I have no friend, no family, and, no matter how hard I've tried, I can't die

I have no friend, no family, and, no matter how hard I've tried, I can't die.

Just came to after my third attempt.

My first was an overdose >1500mg of codeine - which had me laying in bed with kidney failure for two weeks, I was in excruciating pain, only to come to, struggled to find work then to lose it again.

My second was by slashing my wrists in my room after my 3rd week of my mania playing up - the hospital was called and I was resuscitated. I have since gotten a tattoo "do not resuscitate'

my 3rd was a hanging attempt. the shit rope I had gave away as I must've passed out from lack of oxygen. I am still barely conscious after coming to.

I just wanted to vent. I am 24, Australian that held a 6.8 GPA while struggling with addiction.
My GPA Fell to a 2.8 after a horrible 1 and a half years.

The end. I don't care if anyone responds or reads this. I have no friends - no family to tell. I am alone.

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user, even if i dont know you, please dont commit suicide, you are not alone. I have been depressed before and i know that saying "you are not alone" and "dont commit suicide" doesnt matter to you but if you want to talk im here

Well, many are going through the same as you so technically ur not alone in ur struggle. Though brains can be hard to reason with. There are many suicidal fags on this stinky blue Rock. Samaratins.org is a good place to instantly find qualified person to talk to. Good luck user. Eat more yoghurt

then learn to love yourself.

you obviously cant die so get used to it, maybe you will save the world?

I try to stay away from such delusions. It never helped.

try to get some education in a filed u somewhat like and is likely to hire, like eletricuans are always needed in my country somehow. this way youll be occipied, probably make some friends and improve yourself whuch will improve your mental health, also try to get a psychiatrist from the gov

And I'm on probation for being black. In a small town.

oh,i think i saw your post yesterday user

I was in my third year as a social psychologist - ready to fill my references to my local hospital.

I have tried to reach through the government through the last year and it has gotten nowhere. The people in unemployment treat you like a junkie shit bag, and only offer government subsidised trainee-ships for door to door salesman jobs which never pull through anyway, and that's their answer to my poor mental health.

mental health is still largely misunderstood, as, all of our brains are so unique, rather beautiful in way.

Of course, I appreciate your response and advice, thank-you.

quit being a pussy

no one cares about GPA in the real world.

Oldfag here - I maintained a 2.2 GPA throughout my schooling career and now make over 200k USD/yr

Focus on stuff that you enjoy.
Do not give your energy to anything you don't (people, work, conversations, etc).
Hit the gym, even if it starts with 20 minute walks on the treadmill. Endorphins are very real.

Pick one thing and become better than anyone else at it.

You'll be fine.

thanks, dude. that's definitely motivation to get back into university.

I do go for runs most days, and do what bodyweight I can since tearing both my AC joints in my shoulders.

I guess it's the substance abuse afterwards which ruins the running high.

Anytime.

What are your addictions?

just shoot yourself in the head faggot you wont come back after that i assure you.

remembering 3.5 GPA is average for australia, of course

I drink and smoke a lot of pot. recently stopped tripping out and smoking crack.

You lost me when it says comment too long

no easy access to guns in AUS (especially with my mental health record) or else that would've been the easiest pathway

Take psychedelic mushrooms. It will teach you that the way you perceive existence isn't the only possible way of seeing. This liberates you from feeling stifled by all the darkness surrounding you.

And if not, I hear there's some nice fires you could wander into over there. Maybe since man's rejection of what's natural has lead to this cold and unsympathetic world, a nice warm hug from nature would be a loving way to go.

2.2 is about a C- Average in the states.

All I know is when I was interviewing I omitted it on my resume and only one person asked. I told them the truth and explained I am better at working than taking tests, which is true.

I have taken more drugs and trips than most people. It did change my perspective, yes. But the inability to enact it in the real world after the test of time is truly strenuous.

I can't make any recommendation on this than stop. It has never benefited a single human in existence.
I'm not one to talk, however. I drink more than my fair share of alcohol, smoke weed, and rip cigs when I am fucked up with the semi annually blow line. Everything in moderation I guess.

C- is a 3 here.

well said, mate. It's just filling in the gaps. In my experience, at least.

Hang in there. It gets better. Just focus on becoming exceptional at one thing and you will write your own ticket professionally at least. The GPA thing is bullshit.
How do you make money currently?

YOOO HOLY FUCK AHAHAHHAH KEK'D
i literally have to wait from how savage that was unironically im not even being sarcastic rn thank u for the laughs

I've been a bartender or I sub-contract myself as a labourer/landscaper. unfortunately been out of work since Nov 2019.

dont worry im in the same boat except im 20 and dropped out of high school and the codeine didnt even feel good

Sounds like you are off to a good start.

Here's what I would do:

1) Create a fancy landscaping website - squarespace is like 12 bucks a month for your name, number, and a few pictures. Steal some landscaping pictures from google if you have to.
2) get out there and knock on doors. Get some cards made and hand them out with your website. It is much different than the government door to door when you are doing it for yourself. HUSTLE. I'm talking 30 doors a day. This sounds fucking terrible, I know, but it will set you apart from every lazy fuck that doesn't want to do it. Customers will come eventually. It is a numbers game and the lawn mowing will be residual business.
3) Get a solid customer base, hire mexicans or whatever your equivalent is and run a few crews. Buy better equipment. Move into higher end stuff and commercial work.
People (former POS, junkies, etc) have made millions doing this.

I can relate as I haven't left my room in two weeks and I'm failing college. I started putting an act whenever someone calls me as if everything is alright. Life is too hard man I just wanted to graduate.

Thanks for the heads up, I'll be looking into it.

ironically I've picked up work doing some removals on Sunday for a woman who owns a small town village without a regular landscaper/cleaner/gardener.
maybe this will be the big turnover we're looking for.
really appreciate your time.

Good luck user
If all else fails, move to another country and start over

Time for bed, it's late and it's been long.
Godspeed to you, too, user. I'm sure you are an exceptional person for your attentiveness and timely responses.

(Not OP) I did try moving to another country but everything turned up to be the same. What do I do know? I'm wasting my parent's money at this point

You seem like a good user.
Appreciate it. It was my "thing" to become the best at.

Suicide is retarded in the first place but how the fuck can someone fail 3 times in a row to kill themselves, lol.
I'm gonna say you're a coward attention whore, which is why you're here. Either apply yourself or realize that you have an opportunity to drop everything and try something new.

i want to tell you everything will be alright, don't sweat it bro. Everything's cool.

What a fucking peasant.

Option 1: try and steal a cop's gun
Option 2: throw your head under a moving truck
Or best yet, option 3: shoot up a mosque.

Fucking newfags

>thinking taking the easy edge is a big brain move
>not being a newfag

pick one

And every yesterday before that for eternity

I didn't say any of that shit. You're just a newfag, faggot

Please hang in there.
Life is full of surprises.
Spend more time outside your home because thats where stuff really happens.
Always expect the unexpected.