So I came home and found a homeless man laying in my bed. WTF do I do...

So I came home and found a homeless man laying in my bed. WTF do I do. He's alive but super drunk and just lays there snoring. Should I call the police or find friends to help throw him out?

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Beat that fuckers ass with and bat and drag him to the street

Dude he's like 6 foot and easily 350+ lbs, I'm kind of scared.

I think the more important question is: How did he get in? Did you leave your door or a window unlocked? If so, you're a fucking moron. You might as well just wake him up with a sloppy blaster.

I forgot to lock my door and my apartment is near a poor area. Yeah.. I'm kind of retarded. Thankfully he did not eat my food, just crawled into bed.

probably call the police just to be safe.

wake him up with a blowjob and a finger in the ass

Yeah, try and wake him up and escort him out of your house. If you're that afraid because he's a big dude, call the fuzz.

Suck him off

stab him in the neck, then maybe call the cops and say he attacked you

THis!!!!

id call the police instantly

trips should win

Time stamp him so we know you're not full of shit

listen to the trips

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Disease and bug ridden homeless. Bed's unusable. Torch it with him in it.

Plop your benis on his forehead

Found the girl

If there's a good chance that he's not actually homeless, but accidentally wandered into the wrong apartment, then drags his ass out of your bad and out of your place. If he starts fighting, just shoot him.

found the keyboard warrior

Winner winner bung my hole you dirty dumb bun cock slugging omega fagtron such an such

>Get a heavy pan.
>Heat it up.
>Smash into his skull.
>Burn his face to shit
>Call cops say he attacked you after you woke him
>Keep knife in pocket in case pan doesn't work

get a golf club or a pipe or something and hit him in the head, or choke him out and drag him outside forreal dude. dudes gonna wake up and freak and try to kill you

Found the faggot

Sex

Tongue his rancid mustard taint juice from his sweat encrusted nutzack

Slurp his salty slug dry

I found him too, he left a cum stain in my rectal prolapse, how do I shove my ass hole back is if it’s all slippery with rando cock juice

You've all found each other. Congratulations!

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Call cops. Press charges. Then he has 3 hots and a cot for a while. Win win.

Don’t forget to take tour prize and make sure you cum deep in my boipussy damnit feels good to be left dripping with blood and strange cum

pee on him

Ooooh yea smash my nutzach with that hot pan papi chulo me gusta to villas en my garganta ponche mamon joto

Timestamp

Pee on me (please)

What’s his cock jizz slug like

timestamp or go fuck yourself

Timestamp or fake and gay

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Get his attention, get him to stand up, when he is standing and facing you, shoot him. Claim self defense.

I'll try this. Thank you!

Just give em the rusty cumbone

shoot the fucker and claim he attacked you

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this.

Yea shoot your load all over him to assert your male dominance I get it it’s like my cum makes him lower than me almost like I own him and the bowls of his lower interstine

fuck the attacker and claim he shot you

Perfect get him to penetrate you then you could cut his head off after he completes in you nice twist at the end, just like tour daddy does

TIMEEEEEESTAMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP you fag

I would wake him up and tell him what's going on but let him stay for the night. The thing about homeless invaders is that they have nothing to lose, so now he knows where you live and can torture you or burn down your place, or if he sees you alone, he'll throw a bottle at your head.