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>tried going to therapy, I feel like they all judge me and I can't do it. Help
I'm a therapist. We do judge you that's how we help you man. Some will sit there and passively listen if that's what you want, sometimes it is enough, but in your case it sounds like you may need to bounce ideas off of someone

Weird. Recently (last few years) cut back on smoking and joined the gym and got a gun this last year. Never gamed as much as other dudes though but weird coincidence

gonna guess you're a heavy drinker user?

I'll be turning 30 this year. Developing lung problems due to heavy smoking as well (quit, I now only vape dry herb which is better but not perfect). I thought I had it all figured out, finally, a girl I like, an easy job with prospects. My own place. But it's all turned sour. I feel like the only thing I want to do is hermit myself up, maybe move to the country and get a large telescope and just look at the sky.

I've been to therapy before. Felt really bad going there for some reason. Also docs keep prescribing me meds that I don't feel good on, just sort of muted.

I don't do well with social interaction. I can be charming if I am "on", but I increasingly don't feel it's a rewarding experience like I used to. And it fuels my negative thoughts.

I got a bike. I didn't learn how to bike as a kid, so I learned now. I plan on doing that for exercise - but it broke and I have to go fix it and I'm just putting that off as the rest of my life.

I don't know man, it usually goes something like this: I blurt out all my negativity. The therapist acts like this is all to be expected, normal, everything is fine, just take these meds to feel better and now let's talk about our scheduling... I just can't connect with someone when I think they're being paid to do it. I just feel like they're waiting for it to end and get paid. Their answers seem stock out of a self-help book and don't help me. Also meds don't help me but they keep giving them to me.

When I drink, I drink. Some people are worried about that sometimes. However I can't drink alone which I think saves me from being an alcoholic. My drug is weed.

Suicide is an option. Maybe buy that gun OP.

I've considered it before, especially during my big lows, but I'd never do it. I have thought about death a lot since I was a child and have concluded that it's probably just nothingness - which is about the only thing that's worse than a depressed life. I actually dread the fact I'm going to die someday. So yeah, I could never do it. Oh well.

ive been through 7 or 8 therapists before i found one i "clicked" with. dont get discouraged easily, keep looking until you find the right one. and its not just about person, theres all kinds of trends/styles in therapy, google a little about that and find one suited for you.

U idiot

Delete overwatch. Install GTA

So you are a huge pussy too. Good Job OP.

I was thinking of starting actual psychoanalysis, like the whole Freudian thing. I'm going to get some money from a house soon and I will be able to afford an expensive (so I assume good?) one. Do you think that would help or would you say just searching for a psychologist who clicks would be more beneficial?

Thanks, you too

Wtf are u talking about moron, therapists are just crazy middle class bitches with one of the most easiest college degrees available. They are nothing, never pay those people anything.

In WWII 100 million people died, there was air raid sirens, bombs, mass rape, mass torture, mass destruction.... No anti depressants, no anti anxiety drugs, no therapists.

Toughen the fuck up pussy.

You already know what you have to do.

You just want confirmation from one of us

You're paying a therapist to tell your what you already know but refuse to own up to it.

Yeah I get it... It's scary... Life isn't always an adventure.

But even adventures aren't always as easy as resident evil 4 on easy mode.

Feel similar to you. Just lost the motivation to do anything. Have an easy life but maybe too easy.

Progress in life is a bullshit term.

No one achieves anything.

>You already know what you have to do.
I think I'd like to be productive, but on my terms. Be my own boss and actually contribute something to society. But I'm pretty useless. I write crappy short stories. I make stupid vector art sometimes. I have about a dozen unfinished scripts.
I feel like if I hermited up sufficiently I could perhaps create something, but I'm afraid it's just an excuse to do more weed and play more games. I don't know man.

im not familiar with that so honestly cant say as i have no way to compare both.

in your country maybe, it looks quite different where i live. i guess geographical factor should be considered.

All right, thanks for replying all the same. My gf also thinks it's a matter of going through a lot of therapists until you find the one. I will probably try that before anything else. Cheers.

Psychoanalysis is bullshit and them trying to force meds on your is bullshit if you don't want them (not to disparage Freud, but he pioneered therapy on his own. We have discovered a lot since he began psychotherapy). What you're describing though isn't that different from what a lot of 23-36 y.o.s experience...there has been a massive seperation between individuals and their culture/job/family/partners in the last few decades. The unabomber, for better or worse, had some of the most thought provoking stuff on this back in the 80s. Like an overarching social "blah" is effecting everyone. We don't live in and build up the communities we grow up in. We move for work. We don't know who our neighbors are. People act uncivil online. What finally got me out of it wasn't more money but a challenging job and physical labor like wood chopping, helping my old momma clear rocks from her property, etc. When it snows I will smoke, put on music, and then shovel the driveways around me until my back hurts. Anything that forces my body to physically respond to the surrounding natural environment. One thing about doing IT I noticed is it's easy to get swallowed up by the ever present cloud/phone culture we humans began developing. I see grandparents on their phone at restaurants now. It's unhealthy. I enjoy IT work but I leave my phone on mute at home.

get well user, all i can say its worth the time and trouble finding the right one (at least it was in my case).

Topkek

>No anti depressants, no anti anxiety drugs, no therapists
They had therapists you fucking mong. Chaplains too. They also didn't have running water, does that mean we should shit in buckets?

>Toughen the fuck up pussy.
OP isn't whining though. You are. You actually legitimately probably need a therapist.

Fall in love with something you fuck. Do things that are emotive or get the fuck out of my face.

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Says you.
Go live in a ditch and cry about your nihilism

If you keep going back to writing and like it. See this video youtu.be/eMTDAHK-tkE

Yeah all those doctors curing little kids' illnesses are absolute hacks, right?

If you’re exhausted, cut the strings and heal. Life is too short to have plan B’s. You’ll either continue to be a fuck, or get change it all. You either understand or you don’t. Fall in love or get the fuck out of my face.

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>Government job doing IT
Can you get me a job OP? I have three years of school in a CS program (I didn't finish due to finances)
Kik quahp

Doctors arnt special. 30% of doctors are drug addicts, they just get trained to do shit and memorise shit.

Its not nihilsm that's just intellectual bullshit.

Its called the real world, everyone's always fine achieving nothing. The achievement work culture is just upper class brainwashing.

KYS NIGGER

Hey OP, you're clinically depressed. Sometimes depression manifests in strange ways and you don't necessarily feel sad. It's not the end of the world, just go tell a doctor what you just posted and discuss your options. Personally I would recommend SSRI drugs be a last resort, try exercising and meditating but I'm not a doctor. Good luck and hope you feel better soon.

Pick up a craft that fulfills you and go and collect your fucking paychecks for now. Hone your craft and after a couple of years you can be an idiot about it and quit your job.

depression. get medical treatment and quit smoking

Thank you for this. I am going to write something now.

We aren't in a giant horrific war zone right now, we can have slightly higher standards than that. Mankind wouldn't still live in caves if the response to everything that lead to horrible deaths or life long suffering was "toughen the fuck up pussy".

Like a fucking 20yo dying from cancer.

Like a fucking 25yo perm disabled in a construction job

They gonna feel bad not "achieving" some upper middle class pipe dream idea of "achievement?" Its all bullshit.

And that aint fucking nihilsm.
.life's about pleasure that's it. Drinking water, breathing. Eating, wiggling your fucking toes, enjoying the fucking sun, enjoying sleep, enjoying gaming, enjoying weed, enjoying music , not fucking fsje achievements. Jobs, money, relationships , they arnt acheivments.

What a 10yo dying from cancer is a wasted life cause they didn't become a yuppy cunt, get a job, and marry some two faced neurotic bitch?

Fuck off.

Dont matter if you die at 9yo or 90yo no one achieves anything , there's no fucking medal at the end, just gotta max pleasure, rich poor, don't fuckin matter.

That ain't fucking nihilsm.

>progress=job only
You're a fucking retard

>Be my own boss and actually contribute something to society. But I'm pretty useless
There it is. You were promised you'd be something and you've almost realized it's a lie. You're not special, you're not contributing anything and you've been told your only worth is what you contribute. Your not going to shack up in the woods and write anything. It would just be another way to isolate yourself and do exactly what you're doing now, just in a shack. The reality is you were never going to be anything, by the time you were ten it was already over. You're looking ahead to your actual life, in the corner of a government office and it's nothing special, not even a little special. Welcome to being an adult faggot.

>imagine having horrible reading skills and getting butthurt because you think you can only progress in a career

The primary malaise of modernity is that no one is forcing purpose on you so people who have low self-actualization end up becoming complete hedonists and die from drugs and heart disease. You're not depressed, you're actually dying. Your only salvation will be to create meaning for yourself.

>Dont matter if you die at 9yo or 90yo no one achieves anything , there's no fucking medal at the end, just gotta max pleasure, rich poor, don't fuckin matter.
>That ain't fucking nihilsm.
Yeah it is moron. It literally is

We are mammals, every human alive today in our culture can handle , a rape or three, regular beatings, some torture, poverty, mass pandemics, etc and be perfectly fine

They just gonna cry a bit at first. Some of em, but quickly get used too it.

If a asteroid kills 50% of the population tommorow they ain't gonna be "therapy" around.

Middle class problems are all bullshit.

>NIGGERS WORK TOO HARD
You're obviously a fucking idiot, here's your (You)

Dipshit the other poster said doctors are special cause of a job, was refuting that you idiot. KYS

You can't even handle posting on an anime board without getting butthurtek. If I raped your ass you would be bawling

You can't even handle posting on an anime board without getting butthurt kek. If I raped your ass you would be bawling

>Dont matter if you die at 9yo or 90yo no one achieves anything , there's no fucking medal at the end, just gotta max pleasure, rich poor, don't fuckin matter.
>That ain't fucking nihilsm.
You literally just described nihilism you stupid nigger.

Say it too my face bitch.

I'm reading the same thread as you and nobody said that. Learn to read and stop getting triggered

No I'm not, I'm describing common sense. If some pseudo intellectual who over intellectualises everything cause they think they the shit wanna call it nihilism? What fucking NERDS

>doctors are special cause of a job,
I think saving kids is pretty cool. If nothing matters why are you such a butthurt attention whore?

Pussy of the year awa

How the fuck am I triggered? Just saying shit on fucking Cred Forums ffs.

KYS NIGGER

i feel you op

muchos love

Let me guess, your social media all says you graduated from the school of hard knocks? kek

so you are a dumb nigger. no need to respond adults are talking

You have any holiday hours left to take?
Go somewhere abroad with your missus. Some perspective could help alot. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I'll tell you the only thing you'll get from playing games baked is short term pleasure. Nothing else. Its just a fun distraction that wont matter in a years time. You'll get through this only if you want to

>how am I triggered he yells, triggered

CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL HAHA AMIRITE PLEASE TELL ME I'M FITTING IN

Why wouldn't you ditch work and your boring ass girlfriend to fuck around and have fun? I don't see what the problem here is. I do that kind of shit all the time myself.

you should progress on your reading skills that's for sure

I'll fucking raoe your Mon with your cut off dick and slam dog shit in ur mouth, whore. Im a fucking ex navy seal and I can sniff a PUSSY 100 miles away during a fucking hurricane bitch.

Try me nigger, and my dad owns stream and right now ur IP address is getting stalked and ur steam account is getting deleted, I'm calling ur mom right now, ur life as u know it is over.

Not true. Reading over this thread it's obvious every else's reading and writing skills have progressed past your level. Maybe you should try harder.

No I'll fucking raoe your Mon
How do I do that though?

NERD

U wouldnt last a day in the core

Say bye to ur steam account

Its ok OP, you admitet to be slacking pussy man child, nature will make sure you die of suicide so you dont spred bad genes. Or you coul quit being a needy bitch, man up and inpregnate your girlfriend so you can work two jobs to suport them, then life wont be about you, raise your kids and spred life, see your grandchildren and die happy. Thats what purpose of life is about

No shit I'm too old. You wouldn't last a day in my kid's writing class.

I don't have steam kiddo. More into hiking/fishing

Pedophile

Pedophile detected

you're trying way too hard kid

Δημόσιο 4εβα

Well OP, the spergy underages without parents are present. It was nice talking to you and the other anons

Dude.. I hope you get well soon whatever it is you are experiencing. Tell your gf or someone you are close to about what you are experiencing. And it's kind of rare to have a job where you do few tasks all day, appreciate it. I know this is just another comment from a stranger to you but I work in customer service assigned in logistics. I am assigned on taking all the escalation calls from customers who are upset. Imagine call after call you are talking to upset customers. It's kind of draining and I'm just looking forward to save enough money and get out of this and find a new career. Plus I don't even have time to meet a girl because of how much my commute and work time takes my day. So appreciate what you are having now and try to read books or stuff u want to learn during your available time at work. Your situation is kind of a blessing to you and if I can have a chance to have that kind of job now with decent pay I'll take it right away. Anyway. I wish you find your inner peace and I hope you get well soon bro

Also try to spend time with nature, go biking or hiking or stuff. As I always say I prefer physical pain than emotional suffering

Wtf

It's hell in customer service lmao

Cred Forums is full of 40 year olds

λμαο ναι

This just makes me feel worse. Like, I am so lucky to have this job. But I can't do it, I can't bring myself to wake up and go each morning. I've been doing it half-assedly for almost a year now. But I just can't anymore, I can tell I'm reaching a breaking point and will just quit.

You really think raising kids sounds desirable?

OP don't quit, you have such a dream job. Please Kik quahp and help me get a job like yours. I have three years of CS degree (didn't finish cause of finances) and I think I'd do well in IT

No

It is not about doing things that are easy and desirable, its about having a purpose a goal a meaning to your life. If you only do things that are easy, ran from responsibility and go plau games smoke wheed - you are useles and it is beter to just kill yourself you are whasteing our air and space

Well at least you replied. Thanks anyway. I really hope you do feel better mate. You've got a sweet setup it seems and I hope you get to enjoy it again. I don't think you're wrong smoking and gaming and blowing off your girlfriend either just don't let it become a full-time thing. It's about balance you know?

Hey thanks. I'd get you a job if I could, but I really can't. Cheers mate.

I understand where you coming from. We all need a break sometimes. There's still life even if you quit your job and take a rest, there will always be better opportunities. So you can just take your time for a while and rest.. But just think thrice if you are quitting because it's more difficult having no money (if u are prone to experience financial woes) and having other problems in life. Maybe try getting off gadgets at home and try living without those for a week or something.. during the height of my depression I imposed a ban on myself on using my phone for a time and fortunately I felt a bit better. May work on me but I don't know if it will work on you. Depression is still somewhere in the corner of my mind but I always try to find things and reason to go on in life. I always think like my life is like Stalingrad and Moscow in 1942, repelling the enemies and holding until fully able to counter attack or something.

The Witcher 3 is great too, I like it and I love the Toussant background music, makes me feel calm and content

Cheers mate. Any tips on how to get one like yours? Did you go to school for something specific, if at all?

A paycheck alone does not make happyness, as you've already found out.

Do something to make yourself useful to society and you will feel better, volunteering for something for example.

I got it through the unemployment office, so I guess my advice would be to jump through the hoops of that and hope. It took a year for them to find me something. I should mention this all happened in Greece. I should also mention that it really helped I have a "good sounding" degree in "cultural information" (even though it's actually just bullshit and I don't really have any substantial skills). So another advice would be maybe to get a degree in friggin anything, can be super easy doesn't matter

Volunteering actually sounds good right about now. I think I'll look into that. Thanks for the idea.

Good for you OP. How much are you making?

Also, you say youve tried therapy but maybe seek out a different one if you feel judged and unhelped at your current place?

850 euros per month, which is OK for Greece right now (even though it's not a lot, we're going through some hard financial times). I will probably keep looking for a therapist. I hope you find a job you like soon.

>has government job
>doesn't have health insurance
which one is it?

Πατριώτη, Are you on a fixed timed contract or employed indefinitely? Also, kudos on getting it throught the unemployment office. Hope the pay is good.

You need to find an extra curricular activity. If you're not up for that, start travelling. Short distances at first, maybe abroad later. There are lots of places to see in Greece.

I am too much of a pussy to quit my day job and start doing DIY guitar stompboxes and composing music and living off of that. But, I wouldn't move to a far away spot if I were you, it would just be an excuse to play vidya, as the other dudes said. I would suggest doing your writing side gig "professionally" while keeping your job (I think you have ample free time) and see where it goes.

Καλή τύχη, μανμου, ελπίζω να βελτιωθεί η φάση σου!

Wow I've heard about Greece's troubles but I make more as a cashier in the USA right now. Granted I'd take your job for minimum wage if I could.

Can you afford your bills okay? Like rent or whatever else?

Bear in mind that OP's pay is considered slightly above average. Minimum wage is 580€ for 8 hour days, so unless he's chugging half of it away in rent, he's not too bad off. Although in general our wages got fukt pretty hard and rents have gone up in recent years.

I have free health insurance since I don't live in the land of the free

Θενκς μαν. Επίσης. My 1-year contract is almost up, the office offered to extend it somehow because they need people but I refused.

I am lucky and inherited an apartment so no rent. Still can't really afford everything OK with just my salary, thankfully I am super lucky and my family invested in a couple of houses when things were good and now we scrape on by by renting those out in addition to the occasional job/pension

Honestly I am really bad at money. Even 850 without rent isn't enough for me to live comfortably, I need about 1100-1200 per month for that

>I have free health insurance
so fucking use it for a psychiatrist (not a therapist)
>insurance is free because I don't live in the US
nigger, don't believe everything you hear on leddit, I live in the US and I have free health insurance, haven't paid for a doctor or meds in forever

Please don't quit your based job. I have half a mind to come to Greece and apply as well lol. What are the laws on marijuana like in Greece?

Welfare nigger

get your act together, the fact that they're judging at therapy probably means to there is reason to judge you. The fact that you're in a situation that isn't working for you also proves that. I have no idea what you're interested in and how old you are but try getting a new job (don't quit you current job before you've got a new one btw) in something that you like doing or that at least challenges you more and talk to your gf about what you think and how you're feeling, maybe you two should move in together or something or maybe even break up, but some change is probably necessary. If you can afford it, it may also be a good idea to go to college and study something you find interesting, first off because it will keep you busy (can't get depressed if there's no time for it) and secondly because it will increase your chances of getting a good challenging job. Furthermore, start reading some good literature and watch good movies, there are hundreds of classic movies and books that you will definitely enjoy and that will make you a more wholesome person. Get out of your house more, go for walks and hang out with friends more often. Listen to music you like and above all, stop doing things of which you know that they'll disintegrate you, like watching youtube videos of which you know that they're just a waste of time, or scrolling through Cred Forums for hours. You're insulting all of the amazing shit the world has to offer when you're bored, noone's ever bored because they have nothing to do, people are simply bored because they are weak faggots. Get your shit together and fix your life, there's not much more to it. xx kloekie

Usually the therapist and psychiatrist are in the same office, at least that's how it works where I've been.

I also have free US health insurance but not everyone qualifies

Well, maybe I shouldn't have, but it's done now. Greece is fun but in a rut rn, don't know if I would recommend. Marijuana is illegal but you can get it and you'll be fine as long as you're careful.

Fuck, dude, that's kinda bad. Save some money now that you can. What I'd do is deposit some of that money right when I get paid (like 100 to 200€ in your case).

What are your general interests apart from vidya? Do you go out or hang out with friends? Also how old are you?

It's illegal pretty much. If the catch you with less than 5g(I think) on you it's minor jail time. More than that you are tried as a drug trafficker and get rammed in big boy prison.

You are depressed or on the verge of depression. If you cant see a psychologist, start going out into nature, pick up a hobby outside, like gardening, or if thats not an option, a hobby that involves creating stuff with your hands.
I know it sounds weird, but this stuff actually helps a lot.

Try to get it back OP! And do like that user said and try do see a psychiatrist, they actually prescribe drugs for depression or whatever

I like reading. I also write some shitty short stories (even got a publisher that wants to publish, but I'm not confident in my work enough yet for that). I digest pop-sci lectures like there's no tomorrow (astrophysics, quantum mechanics etc), don't know if that counts as an interest... I guess I was always good with languages, have tutored English before. I was never very social (though I have the capacity to be), always had a few close friends to be tight with, but now for the first time in my life there aren't really such people around (either moved away or lost touch or drama). I am going to be 30 this year.

I really don't want to. I feel liberated that I soon won't have to hurry up and go stare at a wall until afternoon all the time

But why don't you just do something you'd rather be doing while your at work? It seems like youd be free to work on your writings or stream a tv show or something. Easy income while you do your best to enjoy it you know?

I did at first, wrote things. But I can't be creative there anymore, I don't know why. It's like writer's block when I'm there. I think it's because there are other people around, I need solitude for it

I feel the same way. But probably for much longer than you. I don't remember being happy, basically ever. Maybe when I was 4 or 5 years old there were brief moments of joy, but I am 32 now, and I feel more depressed than ever. Never had a girlfriend or a relationship, and these days don't even want to. I'm just alone all the time.

Well, at least we can be alone together for a few moments in this wretched place. Cheers.