It’s Valentines Day, late in the evening here in Kiwiland. Wife away for the weekend. Kids asleep...

It’s Valentines Day, late in the evening here in Kiwiland. Wife away for the weekend. Kids asleep. I’ve watched all the rugby. Wat du now? Moar beer?

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Get your side piece in to suck your cock.

If your not drinking Cody's, are you really drinking?

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Yeah...married 15 years, 2 kids, job - no time for side piece. Last had one of those in the late ‘90s

Guess not. How is Hamilton?

Nelson bud. Im not that unlucky.

No shit. The main GF I had when I had the ‘90s side piece was from Nelson. SP was a Shore girl.

White and wealthy, what more do you need?

A liberal attitude, high level of culinary ability.

I don't know what that word is?

COOK THE MAN SOME FUCKIN EGGS BITCH!

Next you jerk it then drink more beer after you clean up

I’ve gone straight for the more beer option. Gotta finish a keg to make room in the tap fridge.

Stop drinking and go to bed. Do something special with them, anything tomorrow could happen. The next thing you know you're divorced because you drank too much, can't see your kids from a surgery, youngest kid has mental issues but can't do the drive to see them and your girlfriend works shitty late night hours and can't even see her for comfort. Just spend the whole day with them, make them your Valentine's, but do something special for your wife tonight and the rest of the weekend all about them. It may suck and I get it, but it could be so much worse you have no idea, go love them, they need love, not some hungover dad/husband.

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Move to a nicer country

Wow. Chill, man. I know how to care for my family - just doing a little insomnia tonight.

Where would you suggest?

Practice your nunchucks and get drunk as piss, then run into the ocean and fight a shark.

send a dick pic to your wife and report what happens.

As previous poster said - don’t really want to be hungover for the kids tomorrow. Otherwise, top plan. Except I’m about a kilometre from the ocean and kids are too young to leave by themselves. Nunchuks I could probably construct but power tools will wake the neighbours.

Already done. She said she’ll be home Sunday, and will send the kids out on play dates.

did she send a oic back?

Yep. No I’m not going to share it.