I'm joining the army soon. What am I in for?

ptsd and child murder

any mos that doesn't begin with 18 is ghey

Do yourself a favor and join the airforce, if they don't let you in then know that the army is a good intelligence level for you.

Initial thought marines, but felt like I was being forced into shit by recruiter. if I'm doing it it's on my terms, I know they're supposed to be sell me and push the product. But it's my decision.

Superiority complex
Feelings of entitlement
False sense of belonging
Questionable morality

A mix of fun, misery, exhaustion and boredom.

Why airforce over army? I don't really have an understanding of what either is going to.be like.

they probably needed nmbers, they gotta hit their qotas, go to a meps yet?

MOS/Enlisted or Officer?

I'll fit right in

Actually if you didn't sign anything yet you could tell your recruiter you want to 18Xray.

Nice digits.

Not yet, hardly know what it is other than the final step.

Dude your Sarge is soo gonna cum down your faggot ass throtte so fucking hard... you're gonna cough and have globs of cum rolling out from your nose and you'll cry from the facerape but Sarge doesn't stop because sarge does what he pleases (((your face)))

42A school is fun. The chick dude ratio is 1:1. And the lezbo straight ratio is like 1:9. And 40% nigress, 40% white angelic type, and 20% misc. races (latina, native american, chink, etc...)

gay rape and humiliation

Until you become a SPC.

not final, kinda? If yo need medical work done then yo gotta leave and come back when its ready

((im in the process and thats where im at rn, havnt sworn any oaths and i cold walk away right now if I wanted i think i read on a paper

anyway marines are cool, i woldnt jst say nah to it, what do yo want from the military? if the marines got it then do it

Enlisted, no education beyond high school, would be easier to move up enlisted ranks and try to make the jump later on.

Yelling. Lots of yelling.

Live Die Repeat without the "Repeat"

Qualified? definitely.
Also a total puss? Yep.

Not much. Lots of bad days, some great, but you meet a lot of people. Some are cool, most aren't. You'll have several "battle buddies" that you think you'll be close to forever until you see you were sent to different duty stations. Then you'll find a few there and a year later one of you is sent elsewhere so you start all over again.

Basic/OSUT/AIT sucks, but you'll remember it fondly later (don't mention basic at your duty station. No one cares and they hate new guys for a month or two anyway). Don't worry about being the best or top grad in basic. The second you graduate, literally no one gives a shit and it doesn't end up anywhere but your mom's facebook.

In a 3-4 year contract, someone you have gotten close to WILL kill themselves (I had 5). You'll count the days until you're done, re-up for a few more years; regret it the next day, then go back to Motorpool Monday and repeat. In the real Army, minus going to the field, everyday is the same thing over and over.

Recruiters lie, but I am friends with many and they lie because they want that quota marker for a 3 day weekend to actually see their family instead of kids like you. Expect to get fucked over by yours no matter how nice they appear to be.

It's repetative and tedious, but not actually all that difficult if you're smart about it. Be nice to your peers and respect even the shittiest superiors. It sucks ass, but you move up faster and life is a little easier when people in all ranks like you. It helps to know your shit too.

Whatever MOS you have, be cool with your Medics, cooks, mechanics, and S-Shop guys. Most (besides medics) are pussies, but they will all benefit you to be cool with. If you're infantry, your life sucks a little harder than everyone elses. Also, infantry gives you NOTHING after the Army, so plan ahead. Oh, and save your money. Don't buy dumb shit or take out loans with high interest rates.

Also, pray you get Carson. That post sucks, but the area is fantastic.

I want some stability and to get my shit a little more together. Been blowing the last three years. Want a job when I get out, or stay in. Was thinking trying to do legal work.

Army fag here, that's what happened to me, not so bad, I wish I was looser in the pooper prior to boot camp

A lot of bullshit and toxic leaders and also experiences most people can't imagine and the best friends you'll ever make. You'll hate it the whole time and miss it when you're done.

You will need to work with your team to get through basic. The DS will find any excuse to make you drop so don’t g t frustrated with how much exercise you will have to do. AIT lacks structure so don’t lose the good habits you made in BCT just because no one is riding your ass. Once you are fully in, it is just like a normal job. They talk a lot about integrity and LDRSHIP as a whole but you will find plenty of people who don’t care or buy into that stuff. Stay focused and do you. Don’t try to fit in by playing it cool, holding back, Doug stuff you know you shouldn’t. Your ASVAB score is great, just make sure you have taken stock of why you are doing this. You will need every once of motivation to get through BCT and focus to get through AIT

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Exactly the kind of thing I need to hear. I'm shitting myself over the size of this life decision. And realistic but not despairing stuff like this makes that decision easier.

I look forward to being bored as shit and then getting home and still being bored.

so like a yeoman? idk cold b cool if you like that. military seems to have the ability to make anyone effective as long as they really want what they signed up for

Lies and Oil

You mean find a couple of guys and play it nice, help each other out, and try to avoid the ever present urge for butt sex?

It's gonna get really gay really quick.
Like you never though.

gay as in the penis in male asshole gay. Not even cute gay. Chiseled NCOs giving out gibs for whoever can swallow the most of their cum.

Glorified janitor

I'm not gonna get raped am I?

I know sexual assault is a real danger in the military, but it seems like something that could be easily avoided, you're always around people.

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Not OP. I've been meeting with a recruiter lately about OCS. I'm 30. I hope I'm not making a mistake.

Sexual assault especially in BMT is incredibly common.

I got stuck in med hold in USAF and I filed down a knife from the DFAC and stuck it in a pen to keep it hidden after they put someone under investigation for rape, in a small room with a bunch of people who were fresh out of surgery.
Retardation is about as common as male on male rape, and most of the casualties in the military are probably caused by Crew Chief dingus.
If you scored higher than an 80 on your ASVAB just go to fucking college, you won't have a good time.

I'm lazy white trash, smart white trash, but I still have those characteristics. I would go to college, but i need to have a radical shift in personality in order to pursue what I want. And the Army is that.

Yeah man, basically, no advice will actually help dude. Especially in training and your first full year or so, shit happens fast and you don't have time to think. It's a process and you'll either get used to it or you won't. The best advice (even after writing a story for you) is don't listen to shit until you're there actually doing it. Military vets like half this thread are gunna lie and tell you to do the wrong shit so you look like an idiot. And you will do that a lot regardless, we all did.

Everything has something to it. Even if it is mostly people saying I'm gonna get raped. I just want to understand how people dealt with it, and if it is the right choice. Really it's my only choice other than just staying an assistant manager in the meat department of a Kroger.

just join the air force its so much better

Whatever dude.
It's not any worse than living in the ghetto, I just personally wouldn't join if that weren't a marked improvement in my living situation.

lots of running

What if I scored an 84? Should I still go, or no?

You're going to be in the top 15% and you're going to notice. There will be a drastic gap between you and 85% of your comrades. Think about it. You never want to be the ONLY smart guy who knows how dumb an idea is, yet you get fucked into deadly situations because your NCO wasn't good at anything so he stayed in the military...

Because an 84 indicates to me, that you knew pretty much all of it except how to fix cars or some extranious shit.
I didn't know any web developing so I got an 88 even though I don't think I actually missed any questions outside of it.

I had a bad time a very frustrating time and wound up an alcohol for a good 3 years. The entire thing was an uphill battle to not get fucked sideways by the bureaucracy, I don't know how the Air Force even functions because not much was getting done around 2015.

No Shit..No Fucking Joke....
Run...everyday intil you leave.
RUN more each day if you can...but just RUN
Also if you got spotify get the running cadences playlist...really will help you

No Shit No..Joke advice..been there done that
Had the calf cramps for a week

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God I wish I joined the fucking air force.
I'm on fucking CQ right fucking now in germany falling asleep almost. I see all these air force fags in ramstein living the life. When I was also in Korea the air force on osan was living in nice barracks and fuck I hate myself for not joining the chair force.

I didn't go. That was 3 years ago lol. I'm finishing college.

Join the fucki g airforce. But if you do go army dont fucking go to air defense unless you want to be treated like a fucking child. It fucking sucks I should have stayed at my previous mos which was a laundry specialist damn that shit was lit actually. Only switched because of a nice bonus and choice of duty station.

I'll tell you bud it still sucks but it definitely sucks less than the fucking army, usually at least.

Fucking don't. If worse comes to term, go Navy or AF. Tolerating the puns of being called 'Seamen' or 'Chair Force' outweights the bullshittery it saves you.

Also, you are gonna fuck up, try to not do it constantly. And don't get hurt under any circunstance, infantry life is misserable and you have to jump a kilometric fuckton of bureucracy for pretty much everything.

Fucking worst mistake I ever made. If you can go to college instead GO. Soldier is a SHITTY fucking job, and it's supposed to be.

PTSD, substance addiction, deep, resounding depression, and zero help from the VA.

"Muh honHURRRRRR"

Hope it's worth it for ya, babby boy.

You do realize recruiters just feed you heaping piles of bullshit, right? It's all lies, you're going to be sleeping in the mud in 20 degree weather, waking up ever 15 minutes as a drone strikes sounds in the distance, just a little closer than last time. Don't buy their bullshit, shit is NOT FUN and it's not meant to be.

Join the Army

We need people to die for us

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This is true. A SSGT longdicks the throat of every fresh new wide-eyed recruit.

Enjoy!

>On my terms

Literally NOTHING in the army is on your terms, fuckboy. The entire point of it is to open your tender asshole and allow yourself to be brutally reamed. Fucking get used to it now or don't enlist.

My older brother finished his tour in the Canadian Navy.

25 fucking years and dun.

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Read everything before you sign ANYTHING. No matter how much they rush you. Contracts, and other documents, are still binding once signed. Verify all details, check all of your equipment, etc. Don't let anyone stick you with some bullshit just because "You mean you didn't check to make sure all of your equipment was there? Man, that sucks. But yeah, we're gonna need $1,475 from you since you lost it."

Paper trail ends at you. therefore, you are liable for damage, lost property, and, in some cases, charges and violations you didn't actually commit (written in counseling forms and/or Article 15 paperwork). But, because you signed a document stating you committed those things, legally, you did it.

Administratively, look after yourself first, then others.
>But, in combat, be the hero.

Also, what this guys said. Dick desensitization. Showering with other men. Man Love Thursdays.
> plus the grace period 72 hrs after
> including the 72 hour head start window

AIRFORCE = Put up in the Hampton Inn in Germany, England, Italy or Japan one room down from 18 and 19 year old Airforce chicks with the tightest, fittest bodies you could dream of, who are away from home for the first time and horny as fucking shit. Every night is spent putting back beers with the boys and taking your pick of tight-cunted little Airforce hotties.

ARMY: Get sent to Iran or Afghanistan right into the heat of bloody tribal warfare between religious sects that have been killing each other for 3,000 years. You sleep on the hard as ground in a moldy tent that hasn't been aired out since Vietnam, right between a POG fresh out of AIT who cries for his mommy all night and a massively obese dude who can't pass a PT test and rips ass in your direction all night. One day while cowering in the FOB you suddenly hear ALLAHU and the next thing you know your missing both legs below the knee.

Choose wisely.

youtube.com/watch?v=-ZYlXEUo-Lo

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>No.820866234
fucking S-1 pogue....

Honestly just go through with it. Worst case scenario you have a shit time for 3 to 6 years and then have education, va and other benefits waiting for you. Nothing anyone can say or do is going to prepare you for the fuckery you will endure unfortunately. You're probably not going to die, you're more likely to die stateside as a civilian than you are in the military. Just keep your head low and do what you're told, even when its fucking retarded. You will make some of the best friends of your life that will drift away, but that's the same anywhere. I was in the same boat as you with my asvab and chose a job I wanted to do when I got out. If you're smart go for a tech job, 27 or 34 series. Those have some of the best out of service employability. Also look at 68A, biomedical equipment specialist. It's what I chose and I landed a job making over 30 an hour before I even left. It's the best decision you could make to give your life direction right now if you dont have a career path ahead of you.

>42A

lol hide in the FOB little bithcboy, 11B will be having our way with those white angelic types and maybe a few of the hot latinas, too.

And if you do stick it out for the full 20, it is literally one of the best retirement plans you can hope to achieve in the U.S. It's going to suck big fucking dicks but life is hard and shit sucks no matter where you go. Also, one of the most important things I can tell you is go to the fucking doctors. If you sneeze and fart too God damn hard go. Get every ache pain sniffle ect in your medical records. You're going to get banged up, but if you get 100% disability with a wife and kid its 3k a month tax free for the rest of your life on top of whatever else you have for a job.

You're gonna die for Israel.

Not only are you going to get raped, you're going to be painted with HIV infected NCO nut and impregnated during basic so you'll likely get discharged anyway.

I'm currently a SSG in the Army and it is the easiest, highest paying job you will ever have that requires D- effort on all tasks.

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Suuuuuuccckkkssss
Enjoy being treated like a dog

Fuckoff you welfare queen.

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Thankyou for you service.
maga

Don't know what the Army program is, but in the Navy we have the Seaman to Admiral program.
I recommend jumping on that shit early and often, if you're trying to get a commission and deadset on enlisting. Of note, it's easier to go officer as a civilian, if that's your endgame.

Are you stupid or something? You’ll probably end up dead in Iran or North Korea right before your last day before coming home. Do you have a high school diploma? Because some jobs at the FBI and CIA only need a diploma. Just go to a two year college or the peace core to build your resume and you could make $80k a year with no bachelor degree

Why the army? Why not the marines?
Are you a faggot?

ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU RANCID WHORE

Do you navy faggots snigger everytime someone says semen?

Nah. Also anyone below E-6 is just called by their name, titles are for chiefs and officers.

Whytf would you want Carson?! Or any CONUS for that fucking Matter?
Also kid, don't fucking do it. If you do, then at least join the Chair Force.

Pretty much this. Basic can be a good time, but mostly in retrospect. My AIT was six months, 35N, so it got decent after I "phased up" and could play video games and shit. Take PT seriously, don't drink and drive, and you'll be fine.

What job in the navy is considered gay as fuck by other navy faggots?

You're going to become part of a massive bureaucracy. Yeah, everyone talks shit about being "warfighters" and "warriors" but it's really a big, slow moving and thinking institution with guns.

A lot of NCOs aren't impressive. They don't have anything else going for them.

For officers, you're a rung on their career ladder.

I'm glad I did it but keep your head down, don't talk back, do your enlistment and get out. Better yet, don't do it at all if it isn't too late.

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The "oconus wishlist" is bullshit and almost no one goes anywhere awesome oconus straight out of AIT. Korea and Texas were big hitters for my group of grads. I was one of 5 sent to Carson. Sure, that post is GARBAGE, and it destroys your soul, but I spent 2 years snowboarding the rockies whe. I could, hiking every fuckin' trail, going to the 2 million bars/clubs that helped me rack in tail left and right (locals often begged me to go in raw leglocked for the BAH lol), and was close enough to my actual home that I would just visit family on a weekend if I was feeling froggy. Also, it's not too far from Vegas so a few of us made that trip a dozen times. I literally got to drink my morning coffee looking out my barracks window and see Cheyanne Mountain that's half a mile away everyday. Also, OP if you're here, he's right. Air Force guys are not retards because they made the better choice. They have a few posts near Carson as well.

Long AITs are fun. Mine was 4 months in San Antonio. We'd go to hotel pools on the weekends and party it up with the Air Force trainees from up the hill. He's right too, OP. PT is all active Army cares about when there's nothing going on to shoot at. Drinking and driving is retarded period.

watch the show "Generation Kill"
it's actually, unironically, a lot like that

youtube.com/watch?v=JNm0NRWTgPc

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This

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Inb4 "gay seaman" if you want a cush as fuck job without being on a ship go navy full time support. you get to go to various states,as well as some country but never touch a ship. all the benefits,hours,and pay of active duty but no gay deployments.

don't join the marines

Dont let your recruiter push you into anything,most army jobs are shit. go a different branch,dont settle for the army. i'm military myself.

Lol shitty is right.
the brits never took 18! FUCKING YEARS! to colonize a thoed world country.

then again constantant war to have a standing army at the ready to serve osreal is the jewish plan.

Basic
you will be tired and hungry all the time. Just keep your head down and don't worry about being high-speed/a brown-noser.

AIT
If you're not combat, it will be a lot easier. Still will suck bc you're in a training environment

Regular unit
Pretty chill. Will have to deal with lots of dumb busy work, bureaucracy, and officers/NCOs on power trip. Not a lot of expenses so your crappy pay actually goes pretty far. Don't get a serious girlfriend.

Basic is fun, but you would never want to do it again

but all they do is jack off and worry about where they are going to take their next shit.... oh right.

Several months of hard physical exercise followed by bordom.

u forget to mention all the craven cock sucking you get to do.
Plus you get to swab the poop deck IfYouKnowWhatIMean

this is totally true. civillian here, but when he's having a slow day, he takes it out on my neck instead. Be ready for that shit. SSGT's are fucking brutal. If you vomit on his pants, you're going to have hell to pay, OP.

I dunno, my SSGT demanded we vomit else the who.e squad was left gagging all night.

i gagged once, and he threatened to beat me if i got one drop of spit on any of his uniform, even his boots. shit was wild.

But it made us better soldiers right!
R-r-right?

i'm a civillian, I was taking one so you guys didn't have to. That probably explains why I wasn't allowed to vomit. I can see how It would have made you better soldiers.

youtu.be/0pS5MzF9U_k

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OP my best advice is probably advice you’ll forget but here it is. Be fucking smart. You’re going to be around so many retards that will make it difficult to not learn bad habits. Don’t spend your money on stupid shit. Save it. All you fucking enlisted get flush with cash for the first time and waste it on stupid, depreciating assets that you barely get to enjoy anyway.

Save every dime you get so when you come out in four years you can use your GI Bill (which includes BAH) to go to any city you want and buy a home.

Your fellow soldiers will be wasting money as fast as they can. It’ll be tough but have a four year plan

either the worst parts of your life or the best, personally id say both.