You find $100 million dollars cash in the woods

learn how to launder money, and then retire overseas

Whats to launder? Just hire a private jet and fly it to Antigua. Nobody gives a shit what you smuggle out of the country.

I want to buy a jazz bass and an amplifier.

This is to get an idea of what $100 million looks like in $100 bills, all in one place. If that's how the money's presented in this scenario, I'd have to be incredibly diligent and vigilant to leave with all of it. I could also report what I found to authorities and stay out of the laundering fuckfest I anticipate.

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I would donate it to the Society of Women Who've Gotten Fucked Up Because They Were FUCKING STUPID BITCH CUNT FUCK WHOLE FUCKING SLUT BITCHES CUM SUCKING WHORES Foundation.

Not gonna deal with IRS shit

Buy a better computer

I would buy property in northerm BC and have it completly off grid with homestead, buy a fuck ton of books and maybe start a family or live by myself long even until i kill myself

I’d buy some Doritos and a sody

First thing I'd do is wish that it was 100 million in a better currency like pounds, dollars are shite.

I enjoy a challenge. That size on the palette equals one cord of firewood. Would fit perfectly in the bed of a standard pick-up truck, with a tonneau cover.

Kek, indeed!

i tell you what i'd do man

200 chicks at the same time

is the joke here that you're too stupid to know about currency exchange

i'd buy a house in the same city i live right now. then i'd make my driver license and buy a car. i'd make my gf not having to work a day in her life anymore in a job she hates so she can do what she loves instead. i'd get children. i'd spend a lot of money on super healthy food so i can feel great. i'd buy clean and well-fitting clothes so i feel fresh and good about myself.
other than that i just want a quiet life.

Put my nephews through college, buy a house and maybe recreate bum fights

That said, I MIGHT be able to fit all of it in my car in less than a half-hour. I'd make sure no surveillance cameras or devices are around if I decided on that.
I would distribute a lot of the money to my family members as discreetly as possible, perhaps without them knowing I found it.

Invest half in a good mutual fund, rent a lakeside upper floor apartment - don't need or want a house. Keep my job for awhile, at least till the investment starts generating capital, cuz a million dollars sadly is not all that much money.

thread says 100 millions not 1 million

You'd need a ryder truck to move $100 mil in cash. It's not going to fit in your car, lol.

Whoops! Well, that changes everything, but I'm just too lazy to do this again.

>being to lazy to contemplate what you'd do with 100 millions
ironically that's probably why you wont make millions

That's not irony, you faggosexual.

Wat?

ironically it is irony

4x4x8=one cord. Pick-up truck.

Implying you will?

You could never really use it to buy anything big

House? Car?

you cant deposit more than 10K without triggering a CTR at the bank. Once that happens IRS will start questions where did you get those funds.

Best case scenario would just to buy a big safe and stuff that cash inside.
Over the years you it for small things like clothes, food, entertainment.

Over time you can say you "found" maybe 500K in the woods make it seem like its not the 100 million missing.
Depending on he local law they might let you keep it.
When that happens you can start "gambling"
and say the other funds you earned were from winnings.

ahhh big brain

Take it home use it as side income, would not put it in a bank. You run the risk of finders law police will seize the money until it is claimed also tax man will be knocking on your door best to hide it and skim off it for life.

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Yeah, really. How in hell could you launder 100 mil?

Damn. I wanted to be Sawyer.

Invest it into bit coins then sell it back to the bank at a loss

There would always be the fear of intruders or break-in. Unless you live alone, how could you keep it a secret from your family?

I take it that's how the cartels do it?

1 million in hundred dollar Bill's is 17 pounds. So one hundred million would be 1700 pounds

The problem is if you report the money at the very least it will be taxed at the worst they will take it. Look it up there are a few stories where this happened. There is no way to prove you did not get this money illegally. So bottom line doing the honest thing allmost guarantees a loss. How ever if you buryed the money in a drum and only keep 50k in your safe at a time you can trickle it into your income and no one will be the wiser as long as these are pure cash transactions.

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I would still pirate all my tv shows, movies, music, and games.

i would actually pay for high resolution versions and download them, but i wouldn't buy hard disks

i'd buy this site and shut it down for the lulz

Grab a million or so to purchase the land that the found money is on. Then build a concrete fort around the amount including a steel safe. Then start a cult. Then wage war against the ATF.

Open a pizza shop and never sell pizza. Just sit there all day typing 11.95 into the register, smoke pot and drink beer. Have pizza delivered since you ain't making no fucking pizza.

Gg

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you'd need a license and then they would do inspections. you'd have to work to make it look like it's being used to make pizza and not always just clean. is that what you meant by order pizza?

With the profit margin in pizza, I should open the store.

move into som third world country travel around and live as a sort of nomad, get a bunch of musical intruments, and create masterpieces.

You'd get too much flack today, but I loved Bum Fights. Really showed just how fucked up humans can be.

I would buy my own small island and have lots of young girls there. Also I like making movies, it’s always been a hobby of mine. So I would invest lots of money into that I guess. Buy a nice apartment building and invite actresses over for auditions while sitting in my hot tub.

Just cleaned it. I'm meticulous.

No shit, broski. I can think of four local joints that make so much fuckin money each one is rumored to be mob cash washing machines.

Id bring it to my house and figure out how to make it work.

Finish what St. Tarrant started.

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Load it all into my half ton truck, proceed to a hair salon. Call up my boyzs we pick them up in my range rover. Million dollar baby we be ballin and shit drink and drive smoke weed. Go to the strip club and spen every fucking dime cumming in those nasty stripper cunts me boyz be getting pussy too. Spend 1 million dollar in one day nigga.

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imgur.com/DnjfXj8

>Spending all that money but forgets to buy his freedom
>Fuckin slave nigga