hey Cred Forums, I remember being in a cutting thread and seeing ppl talk about how people with BPD shouldn't be in relationships, how it's a bad idea to date them, or how they "shouldn't be allowed to marry". can someone explain why? I just really want to understand. like, could someone give me some points?
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people with bpd tend to have short-term relationships, but i dont see problem with that as long as they dont lie to their partner about it
but there isnt really a reason to dont date them except that they basicaly dont have stable relationships (in case they really love their partner)
because they're fucking insane. imagine someone who literally can't tell the difference between normal human interaction and hostility, so they're always attacking you and making a big deal out of nothing, screaming at you, belittling you, physically assaulting you, trying to destroy your relationships with your family and friends, and they are literally incapable of telling that what they're doing is wrong.
it would be hard to exaggerate their behavior. you talk to another girl while you're out and about? she'll cheat on you, then tell you it's your fault for talking to another woman. you're hanging out with your friends just chilling? she'll blow up your phone and threaten to kill your dog if you don't cut your time short to spend 3 hours on the phone with her telling you how you're evil for abandoning her.
seriously avoid them like the plague. you're safer around a malnourished abused pitbull.
It's a bad idea to date someone with BPD who isn't aware of their destructive behaviours or doesn't take steps to combat them.
Search for "BPD favourite person".
You have to be a very calm and rational person to date someone with BPD, if you give in to their manipulative tendencies you will only make their fear of abandonment worse.
During their mood swings they are manic and feel emotions to the extreme, they might be irrational but they're not illogical. So stay grounded in logic and reason, and don't budge.
>I didn't say that
>What I meant by /that/ was /this/, but I can see why you might think /that/
Source: I've had two SOs with BPD, both of them were attending DBT (dialitical behavioural therapy)
Saying they aren't irrational might be a stretch, but their 'irrational' behaviour is more often than not because of a red herring
tbh I've always been that kind of person who gives in to whatever. if someone tells me i'm wrong and has any points that sound logical or real, i don't like to fight, so i'll just believe them and go with what they say. i'm dating someone with bpd right now, and i don't like it when they get onto me about so many things, but they're always so convincing and give reasons behind why they're upset with me. i just don't know what to do. i'm not going to leave them, i just really really want to know what to do...
OP if you have BPD I would love to know what you think
fuck, how retarded are you?
BPD === crazy
as simple as that.
yeah, as if "BPD who is aware and takes steps" exists any more than a unicorn with a motorbike installed into its ass.
tl;dr they are good only for 1NS, assuming you are good at covering your tracks (many of those people may, and probably will, stalk you after 1NS).
source: been there, done that.
Their emotions for being upset with you are very real. But their reason for being upset with you will often originate from their insecurities, not from your actions. Don't take it personally, they will convince themselves they hate you for an hour, then you will be their world again.
DBT works wonders for people with BPD, you clearly had bad encounters with people who either weren't in therapy or weren't interested in improving their lifestyle. BPD is a very self-destructive disorder after all.
>>>YOU FUCKING BASTARD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU
>don't take it personally
>>>/throws knife at you
>you will be their world
>>>while you're at the hospital with stab wound
oooh tell me more about your theory that BPD is great, mate.
please, share some fucking statistics about how many (percentages) BPD people:
a) insult their partners, threaten them, stalk them,
b) inflict physical harm & self-harm,
c) abuse drugs & booze,
d) destroy their relationships,
e) are successfully "cured" due to DBT.
No stats, GTFO. You're contradicting basic medical knowledge about BPD, hence you're a faggot.
>It's a bad idea to date someone with BPD who isn't aware of their destructive behaviours or doesn't take steps to combat them.
You aren't their anchor, you are your own person worthy of time well spent. Leave them if they're physically abusive.
DBT is not a cure for borderline personality disorder, but it can be very effective for reducing or managing symptoms of the condition. One study found that 77% of people no longer met the criteria for BPD after a year of treatment with dialectical behavior therapy.
Please read about a topic before calling me a faggot, faggot.
Another statistic I heard from Dr Alok Kanojia is that if a person with BPD is in a significant relationship (whether romantic, professional, or platonic) for over two years, there's over 50% chance that destructive behaviour from BPD will disappear entirely.
I'm not sure of the source, but he cited it in one of his Youtube sessions with Twitch steamer Reckful if you care enough to watch.
>why would dating someone who regularly has psychotic breaks with reality and loses their sense of reason, logic, basic interaction skills, kindness, compassion, etc. be bad?
are you seriously asking this?
It means that you have to become an incel. How do you feel about this?
Can't really tell for BPD but I heard similar things about Bi-Polar thing is you don't always select who you fall in love with.
So even tho I knew about my wifes mental health issues I still stuck with her.
You'll have to be ready to compromise a lot. Especially regarding ours sexlife. She's my submissive. But there are days where she's just not able to submit so, we won't always stay in our roles.
Be ready for drama, it's steadily getting better, but sometimes her mood swings and she's shutting down completely. Know that they don't do this to hurt you (even though it might at first). Don't spoil them either, they might not be responsible for their emotions but they can very well work on how they react to them. Thats what my wife and I are working on. If she's displaying a unjust reaction, I let her getting rid of her steam and then we discuss how a resonable response would have looked like.
Of course thats no replacement for therapy, it's additional.
so what is there that i can do or say when they get a certain way? like, is there anything i can say to get them to realize what they're doing and to get them to stop or at least feel bad about it?
1. You don't want to guilttrip them.
2. Understand and acknowledge their point of view.
3. Suggest another way of looking at the situation.
Don't belittle them, don't tell them how rediculous their actions are. That will in these moments just escalate the situation.
back in the day we would simply conduct a lobotomy
See Communication is key, but not while they're being manic. Give them nothing to work with and give them their space, then talk about it gently when they're more stable.
Don't shame them for how they're behaving. It's often because of a misunderstanding or miscommunication, so help them come to that conclusion while acknowledging the way that they felt initially.
It's not fair that some people meet their angel who will go through anything with them.
Well it's not like I chose to become that angel. When we met the first time on our local bdsm munch, we both had actually promised to ourself that we won't fall in love. This bdsm thing was supposed to be platonic only and thats how it started.
We pretty soon realized that the other person might be the one we want to get old with. We fought against our feelings.
At some point I couldn't anymore and told her how I felt,she told me she felt the same.
But in the end it all started with both of us getting out there to meet people, but actually not wanting a relationship.
I was saying. IT's beautiful. I wish there was enough love in this world to help everyone who suffers with mental illness but instead most of em rot away.
Without a support group it's hard to overcome mood/personality disorders. The curse of BPD is that the fear of being abandoned often causes behaviour that alienates people. Good therapy is /crucial/ for those without a proper support group, but most won't consider it an option because they can't see the wood for the trees.
You're a good guy dom user see u around.
Dom user is The rest is another
You sound like a psychos wet dream. Enjoy your inevitable suicide, also checked.
I live with a girl who has BPD. Good thing she realizes it herself and knows when she's having mood swings, and doesn't use her BPD as an excuse or justification for anything she does or says. Makes it much much easier for me to make things easier for her.
At bad mood swings she just takes a really deep breath, locks herself in the bedroom for 20 minutes, comes out, curses her brain for having BPD, then we discuss the thing she got moody about and continue our day. No big deal.
I've found that the best way to ease her negative mood swings and get her to stabilize, is to remind her of the good and nice things we've done in the past and the good things we have planned for the near future. Also gives her a sense of security, because her worst fear is being abandoned.
Usually all the positive things go under the shadows of the negatives, but they're still there. You just gotta dig under the surface a bit.
Women with BPD who don't realize they have it themselves or refuse to treat it will probably eat you alive.
>inb4 thx for the blogpost
>inb4 you can't inb4 your own post
oh thanks. yeah i'll try telling her that everything is good and how we have so many things planned in the future and how everything is so nice.
Male BPD here who has had relationships almost exclusively with female BPD's. The highs are great but everything becomes toxic as hell eventually (both sides). It's gotten to the point where I don't believe I can be in a normal relationship ever. Even if they're a saint I'm such a deeply unhealthy person I bring toxicity to any situation. I feel bad for my partner, every time they say they're okay with me being like this, I feel like I've tricked them. If anyone truly saw the extent of my chaos they could never be okay with it. It just doesn't make sense.
oh those are healed styro cuts. I have a few of those, too.
Yeah I heal like shit but also pick a lot so almost always end up with keloids.
I always try to not pick it. I figured out that if i don't shower for a few days, they scab better.
People with untreated BPD and the most rancid, pathetic excuses for human beings, behind maybe only narcissists