I’m going to New Zealand soon

The scenic route is pretty good in South Island if you're not wanting to follow SH1. Longer but the views are worth it.

If you wanna get laid your best bet would be Auckland

Christchurch is nice. Go to the botanical gardens there. I really just enjoyed wandering around the city and looking at things. The Hostels are ok. The food costs are sometimes high.

this. if you're ok with long winding roads and stopping off in tiny mountain towns and looking at glaciers, its fucking fantastic

also: milford sound and queenstown are fantastic but if you're there 6 weeks you already know they're worth the trip

there's not much work in the small towns. stick to Auckland/Wellington/Chch if you want a job.
Stay away from Queenstown and Wanaka, we're full. Dont need more cunts like you making rent even higher.
There are some great places but not gunna tell you because if word gets out they'll become expensive touristy shitholes as well.

>climate
Aussie winters but British summers.

>cost of living
milk and wine is retardedly expensive here for no reason, but some other shit like bread and beer is dirt cheap.
pork and chicken are expensive, as far as meat goes you'll be eating mostly beef and the occasional bit of lamb.
fish is rich man's food unless you're happy with crumbed fillets from the frozen section.
overall it's just slightly more expensive than australia and only in some regards. cheaper booze than Aus by far. cigarettes about the same. weed fukken expensive so expect to pay $400/ounce at least. wait for legalization soon and just grow your own.

fuck milford sound, too many people. spend the extra $100 and go to Doubtful Sound instead. only 2 tour companies operating there compared to like 15 in Milford and it's just that bit extra distance so it's not packed with Chinks, and bit more expensive so no begpackers.

there's a femanon who used to post here from the south island who'll probably suck your dick if you remind her of the good old days

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Thanks bud.
I’m ok for money so will mostly motel or campground if not hiking.
I have kiwi friends that live in Wanaka so I’ll spend a few days there and day trip to Queenstown. They tell me it’s not what it used to be and just go visit a couple of times and go to some burger place that’s awesome.

fergberger is pretty good but jesus, some people line up half an hour for those things

its a great burger but the crowd is crazy

Remember your sunblock - the ozone layer is thin down south.

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Make sure to fuck a sheep

That’s the one. They get it each time they visit. They phone ahead though so no queue. Not sure if this is standard or maybe local knowledge.
Yeah I hear it’s harsh, like 20min to get burned or something.
Just visiting buddy, I’ll leave a bunch of money, hopefully some will help nurse your feelings back to good health.

Don’t forget to tip. It’s customary there.

Australian friend told me this can be arranged before getting through customs, so consider it done.
He also said I can borrow Velcro gloves of practicality anyone if I feel lonely.

there's some cool shit to do in n around QT and some good hikes but yeah the place has been ruined by Chinese tourists for better or for worse.
5 years ago there were still a decent number of ma & pa stores in town but they've all been replaced by Gucci, Louis Vuitton and other similar bullshit.
The burger place you're talking about... the burger's good but like honestly it's only famous cuz everyone else goes there.
plenty of good eats in town without having to line up 30min for a burger.

How much?
I feel I should google this.

Kiwi here. Where are you coming from?

Courtenay, Canada.
It’s near Vancouver.

definitely nelson lakes, most beautiful place i’ve ever visited

Looking now.
Did you hike there?

Yeah a lot of Americans pretend to be Canadian. We can't tell the difference though and just suspect you all of secretly being burgers. It's cool. Here are your tips:

1. NZ women are generally not very attractive, but make up for this with promiscuity. Have fun but wrap it up.
2. The people telling you to get out of the north island are correct, but you're probably fine as long as you get out of Auckland.
3. If you have big bucks to throw around and want fun combined with beautiful scenery just go straight to Queenstown.
4. You don't have to tip here.
5. Skip Hobbiton (Matamata) - it's shit.

What's your plan so far anyway? If I know what you're into I can probably get weirdly specific with tips.

Glow worm caves are in Waitomo, which is North

I'm from Auckland and I have fun. People outside of Auckland all bond by hating on it, which tells you a lot about their hick us vs them peasant mentality

I don’t like to plan too much but I have a vague idea.
I don’t have huge bucks, but a few weeks living like a normal person won’t be a problem.
Land in Christchurch.
Look around a couple of days. Buy cheap car. (Will leave with friend to sell)
Drive to wanaka to see friends. Probably drink and relax a few days.
Surf trip. He tells me there’s actually a river there you can surf on. Then up west coast surfing, kaikora, Dunedin, Southland big waves hopefully.
Will break up above with hikes in parks.

This is true, I live in Auckland too. That being said, there's fuck all to do around Auckland for travellers.
>Hauraki Gulf islands
>Waitakere ranges

buy some tabs and trip balls in welly

How do you even say this shit!
I’m going to have to get a crash course in pronunciation!
I hear kiwis are super helpful and generally good folk, so I’m not in any way nervous about going, just keen to hear other people’s experience and ideas.

That sounds a shitload better than most tourist's plans - I suggest you listen to your local mates. If you're going to buy a car locally check out trademe,co.nz, and don't go on any of those hikes unprepared - we don't have any properly dangerous animals but the weather can turn absurdly quickly. Unexpected weather kills almost as many tourists as shit driving.

Google says cheap meth, expensive weed and not much else.

We dont like you because youre all foreigners

I’m pretty experienced outdoors, they told me to expect to get wet and lost on bad trails. I’ll take +2 days food, bivy bag and locator beacon on top of usual.
Just spoke to them, they said drive south down west coast to go with the flow and avoid cars passing in bad places.
So might switch things around a bit.
Thanks for car site.

Lake Waikaremoana.

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Come check out the Campus in Dunedin, rest of the city is a hole but the Uni Buildings are really quite beautiful

I’m told you burn furniture in the streets lol

He's fucking with you, we don't tip here unless it's nice restaurants. We pay our employees a relatively liveable wage so tipping at casual places is not necessary

Yeah not too often but cunts get a bit rowdy in the first few weeks, fair few matress burnings last week though

Cool thank you, have looked that up and you confirmed what I found.

Don't even visit.

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I understand you see too many tourists.
I plan to surf where few people surf and hike where few people hike. You won’t even notice I’m there.

Any small North Island town with a maori name is NOT worth your time. In fact it can be a really unpleasant experience. Examples being Tokoroa, Kaitaia and Kawerau.
Any small towns in the South Island with English names are fucking beautiful and awesome. Examples Collingwood, Hanmer Springs, Queenstown.

Have fun. NZers are pretty chill but they can get a bit weird sometimes. Can't describe it, you'll find some of the coolest people you'll ever meet. And then some people who seem cool, but start getting all village of the damned on you.

Thank you.
I’m told NZ is just a small version of CAN and same rules apply. This sounds VERY much like same rules. Thank you.

Fuck NZ and go to Australia instead. It's a real country.

yes.kys!!

The north does not suck. Coromandel peninsula is one of the nicest places in the world imo. I've done all the sightseeing south and yes the mountains are big whoptee but the intimacy of a classic Kiwi summer in Coromandel can't be matched.

I’ll be spending a couple of weeks with a friend near Darwin on his ranch/station.
After NZ though. He says anything that moves is deadly even if it’s a frog.

If it's scenery cool laid back nature feel you're after look into these places. Not a lot happens in these little places but that's part of why they're so great.
> Great Barrier Island
> Raglan
> Coromandel
> Marlborough Sounds
> Abel Tasman National Park
> Takaka / Farewell Spit
> Kaikoura
> Akaroa
> Franz Josef / Haast
> Catlins
> Stewart Island

Also when in Christchurch you must go to Taylor's Mistake. Walk the track out to Boulder Bay.
Lyttelton is great for a visit. Some cool old cemeteries, also awesome bars on the main street. Go to Corsair Bay for a swim. Birdlings Flat is an amazing beach. Dangerous af, youll understand why when you see it. Beach goes for miles and miles and no one around.

Is there really an old leper colony island or are people messing with me?

owozone

Cool thank you, most of that is on route.
I’m basically choosing a direction to travel with a few actual destinations and will stop anywhere interesting.
I recognise most of these names, will pin them on a map. Thanks again NZ : D

Oh Catlins.
I hear amazing surf but a lot of sharks and need jet ski.

Yep, the old leper colony is Quail Island. If there's a ferry running, it's worth a day trip.
Yeah sharks are a thing. Further south you go, the riskier it is. But I wouldn't worry, last fatap attack was about 2014.

Definitely suggest surfing at the Meatworks, just north of Kaikoura. Great whites hunt seals around there. Just don't get in the water at sunrise and clear off before dusk and you'll be good.

Just get fish and chips instead. Those burgers are overrated. $25 for a pattie, lettuce, beets and a bread roll? Fuck off.