What's your excuse for not enlisting, faggot?

What's your excuse for not enlisting, faggot?

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I hate jews like most people.

My dream is to join the US army

Got an education, have a great job.

I'm too busy fucking my neighbor's wife after he enlisted. He keeps on calling her because he thinks she's cheating.

I did my four years. Fuck the Marine Corps

there hasnt been a real war since WW2 can you fuck off

I'm on the waiting list

I was taught to read and didn't grow up in a meth town

I have an actual future and mind being send abroad to waste my life for no good reason at all

Because I commissioned like non-retards do.

They hate me because I'm on adhd meds

Agreed.

I have too many brain cells to blindly follow a general, therefore hindering my ability to serve

>Took military aptitude test
>Score 97
>Get denied because of genetically bad knees and back

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i don't want to be called by my last name all the time

I’m a fat drug user and alcoholic.

I did. 1966 u know where that landed me don't u? nah, u wouldn't. ur to young faggot "me may"

Too old.

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I did enlist. 15W here. 90% of the time I’m just standing around doing stupid shit and the rest is my actual job. 4 more years to go ;)

me may... is fuck you in gook

I'm in the reserve national guard. Not much reason to enlist. I get as much army time as I want. Actually, a little more.

Idk why anyone would willingly serve in a terrorist organization like the US military. I got drafted into the Russian army which is why I'm serving, but why anyone would willingly go other than for clout is beyond me.

So you're like 73-74 years old?

Would you trust yourself to protect yourself with a loaded weapon 24/7-365?

Who's going to kill all the towel heads?

07-15, USMC 0861

I wanted to stay home and fuck my best friends wife while he was at basic..

we are not at war

I had a mental breakdown and was put in a mental hospital involuntarily for some time so I’m exempt from the military.

Didn’t mean to quote that post.

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this

I'm an engineer that works in the defense industry and prob have a body count in the 1000s with all the shit I've designed. Technology wins wars

dam good health. came home in one piece

>Enlisted in the Navy 3 years ago
>Boot camp was basically Full Metal Jacket, a bunch of autistic nuclear engineers, that one guy who eats notebook paper and the guy who tries to suck up to the RDCs
>go to A-School
>Tranny starts hitting on people at the smoke deck
>Watch some guy call it a degenerate
>Know that he's gonna get fucked by a Thai ladyboy in his near future he's just that type.
>First physical fitness test. Everyone around me is a landwhale.
>Laugh at fat kid doing calesthenics
>He literally looks like a fucking walrus
>Sent to DRB for insensitivity
>Get to ship. Everyone is fat and depressed
>Go underway and the guy who sleeps above me decides to go on a protien only diet.
>Crew berthing area smells like shit
>Autistic kid walks out of the head naked and shit caked.
>"user I just shit myself. Can you take me to medical"
>He walks through the ship naked to medical.
>Division ends up having a racism incident and everyone goes to captains mast.
>Hispanic guy wrote "wall" on a piece of paper then played victim
>Black history month rolls around.
>Galley serves fried chicken, watermelon, and kool-aid
>Everyone is happy for all of 2 minutes until the white girl starts complaining about stereotypes.
>Today finally assigned to a shore command
>We sit around all day and play Vidya and talk about buying Camaros for our stripper wives.

TL;DR: The military doesn't really do shit and you basically sign your life away to dark humor and depression.

I wanted to be an army man when I was a little boy. I also wanted to be a race car driver. But when I was about twelve I started to have a basic understanding about what war is, and some of the disingenuous reasons countries went to war against each other weren't exactly the heroic bullshit the patriotic mouth breathers parroted. Because freedom. What the fuck does that even mean? I started to realize my body was mine, and I didn't owe it to the government to die in a ditch because they have stupid people in charge who can't be diplomatic. The soldiers I would face would be basically like me, but drank the kool aid, which is not really their fault. I heard expressions like "what if they threw a war and nobody showed up", which make some sense on a very simplistic level. And I was exposed to a lot of damaged vietnam-era vets because my mom worked for the VA, and a lot of those guys are pretty salty about the way the government treated them after their sacrifices. So, I decided it wasn't for me. But I don't begrudge some people for joining, the military is a good way to get your shit together if you don't get killed or maimed, or exposed to toxic chemicals.

been there done that
never again

Rheumatoid Arthritis in both ankles/feet and fingers

In high school I went and talked to a recruiter. My dream was to get into Pararescue. Ran 7 miles a day, AFJROTC, and practiced with the Marine recruits.

>Tfw my mom convinced me to go to college first for that sweet sweet officer label.
>Tfw I met a girl in college
>Tfw she got me fat and we had a kid

I should have just signed my life away before I graduated

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Failed meps. Apparently I have a severe heart murmur only the doctors on base can hear. Not sure why they wouldn't take me. I was varsity all 4 years of high school. Plenty of physicals. Never had a doctor tell me that before. Also got a high enough score on the asvab they said I could have any job I wanted. But instead they took my plan B to pay for college and killed it. On to plan C for college. Ended up working in the oilfield for next 3 years and made some money and put myself through school debt free.. Still wish I could have joined.

I'm not as gullible as you

Not retarded enough to fuel the war machine

Ex-Navy ET, can confirm.
Our entire division also got captains mast'd because *cough* someone *cough* me *cough* was rearranging the wires in literally anything and everything possible into swastikas cause I never thought the CO would be autistic enough to watch me take the metal panels off the walls.
No on got NJP'd though.
What ship were you on? Carrier it sounds like.
Destroyers/Fast-Attack subs are where it's at if you want an enjoyable sea rotation

Ask an user who enlisted in the L.É. without speaking a word of French anything

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If you enlist will you give me a blow job?

Next month can’t wait

Anyone went through this bad boy?

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Because I'm not a mindless drone like faggot OP.

Im considering it... What are the first few days like after signing?

I have a mind of my own. People like you enlist so that people like me that actually have a chance in life to contribute, can.

I don't want to be the property of the government.

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I'm not a brainwashed christian faggot.

living outside the US. wanna join up once i'm back.

wow you're so hot, i love boys who are a tool of french imperialism

Tell me an easier way for someone with a criminal record to become an EU citizen.

Cant smoke weed have to have dyke haircut and shave face to look like ugly girl.

Only people with no life and future enlist. The most wasteful branch of the government.

And this

Should have demanded an echo

Wanted to join but had made way too many isis and suicide vest jokes to be taken in.