What’s the best insult you’ve ever heard, user?

This I like

True, was just hoping to see something u can use at random

It's fun.

> You are a coward and history will forget your name.

>should of
looks like they followed your advice

If you killed yourself, the world would be a better place.

good thing spellcheck doesn't work with spoken words

An insult in an insult thread specific to the person. Hot damn

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If a retard jacked off into a muddy puddle .. something like you would crawl out nine months later.

Broke up with a chick when I was a wee lad she said
“You’re a piece of shit and you’re going to die alone and old an nobody will ever love you”

Maybe I should of ended a 2 year relationship over text lol

Then you would read it over and over, which is worse

She loved you, so what does that say about her?

No, hearing that in person is much worse.

Depart and fornicate thyself and the steed upon which though did'st arrive.

I never knew smegma could form opinions.

The smartest thing that ever came out of her mouth belonged to the last guy she blew.

Your mother should have swallowed you

I guess if it stuck with you it’s more of a cerebral assassin deal. Women can usually nail the whole “worst thing you could hear” thing when they want to

That the dumbest thing I've ever read and I used to review Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction

If I wanted to hear an asshole speak I'd fart.

that's dumb, you lose all authority with that and nobody's getting hurt

I always kind of liked you're so retarded you have two extra chromosomes.

seriously?... that's the best you've got..?

Gorilla Nigger

I think the best response to “your mother should’ve swallowed you” is “nah my mom wanted to have me. I wasn’t a mistake like you were and still are”

I think that's from Red Dwarf.

You should do the family a favor and put a pistol in your mouth and pull the trigger.

That’s... rough

Then maybe yoki should suck start a shotgun.

You're so ugly, you'd make a freight train train take a dirt road.

Yeah my sister has always been a cunt. Good news is shes almost 40, no children and has been dating a bernie bro for nearly 10 years. Chances are if they do get married and have kids itll be downsie or autsimospastic so I might just get the last laugh. Fingers crossed.

Fuck yeh at the time I was like damm bitch that’s cold fuck you to. Got over it tho. This was years ago 18-21 around their. Kinda miss that sweet Asian pussy

Yeah, maybe yoki should.

Fock off imposter user. Suck a dick attached to a blackanese midget trap.

op is a faggot

A+ for originality

I called someone a faggot on the internet a couple times, what a rush!

We deal with a LOT of shit for pussy

But there is timing, flow, nuance and bite. That's no pause, no stutter spit it dirty and ruthless. Not easy to do, even if it's a got lucky zing.

Make sure you suck hard, faggot

Mistakes can be corrected but your mom still lets any faggot cum in her lol

Calling someone that's fat bitch tits.

you look jewish

That's gay

Gay, very gay

The train of your insults roll down the track of my indifference.

>said the newly elected Authority On Gay In Its Full Spectrum

Call a fat person fat. It’s simple and will hurt more than any of the insults in this thread.

Fuck you OP, I don't give a shit about you or your thread, I just came here for the pic you posted, in hopes that more will follow.

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True but that's like taking English 101 for the easy A lol

You are a murderer and a thief. You've killed a baboon and stolen it's rear end for your face

My gamer buddy would always say "I hope your kids get cancer" if he lost.

Nigger always works to upset a Nigger

Shut up fatty

Not an insult but best rejoinder

Son, didn't yer mama ever tell you not to break wind with yer mouth

From the movie, "White Buffalo" cult enough that not that many people ever heard it.

Yup rimmer in season 3 I think

Hey! That kind of hurt my feelings and wasn't very nice at all! Only a double helix bitch made nigger would tell someone that.

That’s my point, the simpler the better. Cut straight to the heart.

You look and sound like a huge child molesting fruit. You prancing la la homo man

lol, I was being facetious and condescending

"I hope you get cancer and aids at the same time you bitch cunt!"

said to me by my ex-best friend's significant other (lesbian couple). understandably i did try to steal someone's gf, so i guess i deserved that.

Pretty heavy interest in child molesting fruits. How old were you?

Going up to a nigger and calling him a spear chucker. They always chimpout lmfao!

pretty sure you just handed you're self the greatest insult of all. people who pick up grammar and spelling in Cred Forums boards are pretty fucking low.

Yes you did. I hope you learn to respect other people's relationships from now on.

Well then...

If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your h
ead.

Yes, I am drunk. But although I am drunk, you are ugly. Tomorrow I will wake up sober, whereas tomorrow you will wake up and continue to be ugly as fuck.

Your Kung fu is weak!

That sounds familiar..

Winston Churchill.

Rice nigger! I'm Asian lol

>you're self
>people who pick up grammar and spelling in Cred Forums boards are pretty fucking low

Is this bait? Have I fallen for it?
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

Eyes that pop out of their head..... Steve

Son, you're a dissapointment to your parents. WHOM I FUCKED!

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I was fucking this bitch anal, and she was like, well my ex bf is bigger. Lol. Bitch please. I busted in her ass and bounced. She got with her ex a few weeks later. Kex rex

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I don't care enough about you to hate you

said that to this bitch who was giving me shit

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Be me in a bar,had ‘heated words’/slight disagreement with another dude.
All done,but,eager to have the last word,as this guy went to escort his girl outta the bar,i just had to open my mouth one last time.
‘Fuck me,if i had a dog that looked like your girl,i’d fucking shave it’s ass and teach it to walk backwards’.
That didn’t go too well.
Funny as hell though.

I gorilla fucked your mom and that is why she is so nice to me.

Is your brain cell lonely?

I'm a resident doctor
My boss wanted a retarded dress code, long lab coats instead of comfy scrubs or short lab coats which actually look nice.
>sees me for the 4th time in a short lab coat
>loses his shit
>dr, you look like you pack food in the grocery store...
>NO, I RECTIFY, THE BUTCHER IS BETTER DRESSED THAN YOU ARE.

Lost my shit and started to laugh. Told him it was a good burn (butchers do have white clothes too).
He hates me ever since.

Your mother was a snow blower !

not an insult but...

what do you get when you cross a nigger w/ a gay Eskimo?

>a snowblower that doesn't work

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Ah. Yes. He was the best

Not bad. Not bad.

If the girl is any kind of self conscious about her weight tell her "If only your IQ was as much as your weight"

It is impossible to underestimate you and while I'm at it, you look like something I'd draw with my left hand.

That’s how ya get pussy, right there.

A skinny guy got told: You have that “skin Stretched over the skull look”

the jerk store called, they're running out of you

Skinny guy approved

weak. low IQ insult

And you’ve been waiting 25-30 years for the movie to come out so that you could share this information when it’s somewhat relevant again. Should have held on for another 25-30 and you could have had it written on your headstone for eternity.

Everything itt is gay tryhard fauxpoetic cringe but one time I saw a post that said

don't you have some crawlspaces to be getting yourself stuck in

And that is a perfect dunk

That kid looks so fucking happy and content with life.

You're so fat i was watching 60 minutes and when you walked past the TV i only got to see 10 minutes.

imgur.com/30db28y 4

thats pretty good.

Short hair girl thread,let's go

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Cantstandya

I did this while drunk
>get to a party an hour north
>a fat slut sits next to me
>ive heard of her. she is known to be a slut that fucks people at parties and report them for rape for money right after
>>user I've heard of you before, you're friends with a dude
>>yeah me and dude is pretty cool
>she goes to the bathroom
>im sober so i drink up her vodka
>she stays and cries or something for an hour then comes back
>she is a total dram queen
> I would get annoyed normally but im super friendly to everyone while drunk so i continued talking to her
> she starts to talk about some drama
>>user, this dude on my snapchat called me a fat slut
>without even thinking i just went on autopilot and copied what Tumblr chicks say to fat people

>>nah it's ok to be fat. it's not like you don't know that you are fat while you take up half a sofa alone. him calling you fat is as insulting as calling you blonde lol. don't be ashamed. its the face that matters anyways so you're safe
>>hehe yeah... you're right user...
>she then tried to hold back her tears which she bearly did. i think she got confused by my insult. it was delivered so nicely that it was hard to know whether it was an insult or not.

another was after i had sex with a girl i knew
>get my mate to drive me
>get there and fuck her for some hours
>spooked cause her parents might get home at any moment so i pack my shit and leave
>my mate gets me and we leave on good terms
>im stoked af since i believe I've just found a fuckfriend
>she told me she came 4 times that hour and she screamed like a pig the entire time
>a weal later she sends me a message after fucking a dude i know
>>user, why tf has you told people we had sex?! we did never!
>told her i haven't said a word. but maybe my friend who drove me did imply it
>>I would never have sex with you!
then i told her
>>same. the mere thought of it makes me sick. i don't fuck vapid sluts with stinking pussies
she responded "haha" then i just blocked her

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"You literal nigger.
You subhuman baboon. You literal nigger.

How dare you speak, you swarthy jungle monkey. How dare you open your big lipped, rim encrusted, menthol cigarette smelling mouth?

You are human trash, Diego Tyrone LeShawn de Maradona. Universally despised, derided and mocked. Your nationality and skin tone offers no hope to the world that South America can ever prosper. Crawl back in to the Brazilian jungle you came out of, you literal orangutan.

I hope you decide to sail your grandfathers skip to the Falklands and rape some sheep, as is in the negroes nature. It would still be the whitest pussy you ever had. Give Nigel and Robert a chance for some target practice, your sole use to the world. Argentinians obsession with a few windswept islands in the Atlantic is hilarious but sad. Coincidentally its the only worthwhile contribution Argentina has made to the medical field. The MUH LAS MALVINAS sentiment in the average negro Argentinian is both an early warning sign of autism in children, and early on set Alzheimer's in adults.

Take your black hairy fingers off your keyboard, and never talk about the human species again, you mockery of our supposed shared ancestor.. No amount of olive oil and wheat flour slabbed on your face every morning will make you white. It's about as delusional of an idea as your daydreams of European heritage.

You nigger.

You make Bolivia look like a beacon of civilisation.

You are the Baltimore of South America.

Go fertilise the pampas with you and your families corpses, its the best you can hope for in life. For the first time in your life, nigger, you have a job making food for beings vastly superior to yourself. Uruguayan cattle. Coincidentally, it would be the first time an Argentinian "man" provided for a family.

Die, Diego. No one would miss you. Except for Australian Aboriginals, who now would have no one to make them look good."

You're so short that your hair smells like feet.

Ah, so close. Had to end in 6. Weak

You fight like a dairy farmer.

Lol this one isn't bad but wewlad so much fedora cringe itt.

nice end

imgur.com/2sAEVn0 3

Lmao wat

I am rubber, you are glue.

Once heard someone get called a “cum belching gutter slut” in the middle of a very posh pub.

That’s the best you’ve heard? You need to stop hanging out with man bun wearing hipsters who misuse language and have a parochial sense of what sounds profound.

Yes.
And OP asked what is the best _you_ have [subjectively] heard.
How is that hard to grasp or participate in?

>grammatical error
>spell check

Uh huh.

>thou

Pleb.

Winston Churchill was once told "If I was your wife, I would poison your tea."

To which he replied "And if I was your husband, I'd drink it."

Fucking love that.

your parents should have gone for a walk for that 5 minute

>being worried how you look while wearing safety clothing

Are you a twink or a bimbo?

THAT is the back and forth I’ve been trying to remember!

>Be me years ago in the military
>Go home on leave once a year and hook up with random local chicks
>One gal wants to stay in contact, okay pretend to do the long distance thing, despite both of us hooking up when apart
>Her friend fucking hates me for no God damn reason
>I have to hear about it from my bros, "bitch said this about you. cunt said that about you." blah blah
>after 2 years of this shit I'm done with the whole debacle
>Ended contact with hook up. Told my bros, "Forget that shit talking bitch. She needs to get on her knees and support the fucking troops!"

Bros still laugh about it every time we hang out

I wonder if your IQ is higher than your cholesterol...

Chromosome Theif

Fuckin A’

Your voice puts an itch at the roof of my mouth that only the barrel of a shotgun can scratch

I prefer cum guzzling gutter whore.

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"user has aids. Just kidding, you gotta have sex to catch that"

Curious what impulse made you believe this somehow contributes to a conversation?

You lack the intelligence necessary to exercise free will

Someone used to tell me I was the most artistic person they knew and it was nice to hear because I liked my art lol but the more they did it the more I caught on to the fact that calling me artistic didn't fit the situation and I realized he had been insulting me for close to a year when I thought he was being nice but he was really just as autistic as I am and thought he was calling me autistic the whole time.

Youre a smelly poo poo head

"im going to kill you and rape your corpse"- danny mullen 2018

Actually, if you don't point to a HDL subfraction level, it's a compliment.

Said by my roommate to the old cunt property manager: You shouldnt smoke. Look what its done to your face

I think anyone that ever watched that show was a real rimmer.

u mad?

Ouch

You can jump on the edge of my ass

At McDonalds I heard two teenage girls talking about some guy and one was struggling to express the depths of her dislike and finally said, "He--he just makes my TITS puke, okay?"

It should literally be
>maybe, but you're moms swallowed me.

I hope you chip a tooth on a urinal

It ain't good but if someone calls you a virgin just call them a genuine fucker.

while well thought out and articulate, your pants will be down, and you pushed over before you can finish that 1990s afterschool special burn

Retard or idiot
Not sure which one is the best

Alot of people call me a loser....or a fatty...or a dork...or a retard. Take your pick. I enjoy them all personally.

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Some guy: Suck my dick bitch!

Me: Sorry, i can't suck something that doesn't exist so..

If I had all the water in the world, and u were on fire, I'd rather drink it.

i should have aborted you

Fag

Poor January titties

I now understand the depth of immaturity on this board

shut your dick holster bitch

I've been called a lot worse by someone a lot better.

You're a goddamn lying dog faced pony soldier

Whatever I'm pwning the local newb@lyfe with....Lame brains.

ya' mutha

I hope your kids forget how to read.
I think a comedian said it or something

Nice one faggot

SHIP RAT!

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Your ugly face made my dick reabsorb one previus load, thats how desqusting you are

>should of

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That's hot

You know you're going to die alone

Your mom should have flushed you.

If you can read words without those mistakes leaping out and smacking you in the face, then you are mentally deficient. We don't proof-read the boards, we simply read them and cannot miss the mistakes because we are literate.

that one time when someone called their friend a pigeon. I adopted the insult and it always works

You know what's difference between you and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

You're so fat you gave Dracula diabetes.