Hey man. I'm here for the job interview, sorry about being a little late...

Hey man. I'm here for the job interview, sorry about being a little late. Did you have the chance to take a look at my resume?

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Welcome to the Peet’s Coffee And Tea family. You start Monday!

I did, why didnt you include any previous employment information?

What the hell man? Why are you criticizing me?

>be American
>resume
motherfucker, we won't be resuming anything. There's the door.

What do they call a resume in other countries?

royale with cheese

Ah yes, thanks for coming today. We've decided, based on your resume, that you are a perfect fit for the test, i mean, uh job. If you can start this minute, i'll give you a $100 bill as a starting bonus. Just head out through this door to the firing range, i mean, uh warehouse.

Get the fuck out, and take your service dog with you.

It says here you were a scat artist for 3 years, can you tell me about your job duties?

curriculum vitae

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you're fired

Fuck, I lost.

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hi, please take a seat. so, your educational history and work experience are spectacular. it may seem you are over qualified for this position. i can offer the job to you now, but what made you want to work here?

if i said "pee in this" or "the position has been filled" which would probably get rid of you quicker?

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I have, and I think you might be a great fit for the Starbucks family.

Lolololol

I'LL PUT MY BOOT IN YOUR ASS YOU MISERABLE LITTLE QUEER. BACK IN MY DAY IF YOU WALKED AROUND LOOKING LIKE THAT YOU'D GET YOUR GAY ASS KICKED FROM ONE END OF THE STREET TO THE OTHER AND THEN YOU'D GET RAPED SILLY BY A BUNCH OF NIGGERS. GET YOUR FAGGOT ASS OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU GIVE EVERYBODY AIDS FROM USING THE GODDAMN TOILET.

>ITT 14 year olds who don't have a clue about the outside world

>Mfw my boss looks like this

>Mfw I work for a pharmaceutical company and his pay grade is higher than most.

It's not 2012, people who look like this actually get very good jobs

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People that look like this get their ear lobes ripped off by accident during a slight tussle.