So after years of wondering if I was gay and one unsuccessful hookup which I didn't enjoy because the guy was ugly...

so after years of wondering if I was gay and one unsuccessful hookup which I didn't enjoy because the guy was ugly, I just bought a dildo and sadly, sucking it feels nice and gives me a boner. I actually did put it up my butt earlier and tbh I didn't like it very much. I also tried taking a picture of myself sucking it like my face but that just made me feel weird, I didn't like looking at the picture of it with my face sucking on it. What does this say about me?

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Says you're pretty gay. Show us asshole

someone who's not sexually turned on by faces, i think the rest you already know

but i didn't like so much of what gays like, ugh. this is terrible living in this purgatory of sexuality. Also, fine.

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you can actually tell it's a little raw from me fucking it earlier

dude I really don't know, and I don't know the solution. I guess it would be I have to go hookup with another guy for real in order to tell. Guess that's my next move, i'll try to get that done this week.

Im the same way, I sext with guys online all the time and the faces always gross me out.

What part of sucking dick do you like?

tbh it's kind of hard to figure out, but when I get on my knees and put the cock into my mouth, I start getting turned on. Feeling it in my mouth, the submissive gesture of being on my knees, sucking a big dick. Then the more turned on I become the sluttier I act with it, which in turn turns me on more. It's sort of freeing, I guess. Like i'm letting loose a little side of me that I would rather was not there.

>I didn't enjoy it because the guy was ugly
Yeah you're pretty gay. Homosexuals ironically expose the truth that men are just as superficial and shallow as women are, it's just that weird bullshit female sexuality holds such as attraction to wealth and status don't apply so it's almost entirely physical attraction.

I also hate seeing my own face during the act. I can see my body fine, for the most part. But when I see my face while im sucking or shoving the stupid dildo up my butt I just kinda cringe. Like, "wtf are you doing user"

just be bi user. it's not purgatory, just means you're easy either way. makes getting laid good.

if you post more asshole I will too.

>I actually did put it up my butt earlier and tbh I didn't like it very much
Did you use enough lube and go slow?

okay. Taking these pics also sort of turns me on. I think I have an exhibition fetish. Being looked at feels good. Except my face. I think I just hate my face.

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The Romans pretty much understood that being the bottom was shit. Hell they even considered eating pussy to be pretty gay despite it being heterosexual.
Of course you feel embarrassed, whatever shred of masculinity you hold yourself to is being humiliated.

Maybe instead of subjecting yourself to being a little bitch you find someone who's twice the twink you are and stick it up their ass. Or maybe, i don't know, fuck a woman like a normal person?

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also Idk why the image quality sucks sooo bad

I did at first, maybe I started trying to go too fast about halfway through.

honest suggestion - try dressing up.

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>Just be bi
No, don't spread HIV to women.

I have fucked women. A couple of them. I enjoy girls a lot. I think i'm something of a masochist as well as sadist. idc if being bottom is shit, I couldn't top anyone with a masculine ass, the thought disgusts me. sucking the dick gives me a boner though :/

errr, why?

if you don't like how your face looks but you like the feeling of being submissive, then it's an easy way to change your face if you do it right. if you hate it, just don't do it again.

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Sounds like you just want to fuck a trap then, or get fucked by a man that looks as close to a woman as possible?

no, masc guys r hot as tops, just couldnt fuck them. the thought of fucking a manly guy is gross to me, or even an average one. I can pretty much only stomach the thought of fucking femme girly things. Myabe i'm just a coomer taking it to the extreme. but then again most porn addicts dont all of a sudden become gay. I think its at least partly innate in me

I'm not sure if I understand, but maybe this is only something a man who's had his as penetrated can understand.
Or maybe, straight men are incapable of understanding.

ive only penetrated it myself. tbh I act completely straight, I can only see myself fucking girls for the most part, or maybe another hairless twink. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Try to achieve a prostate orgasm before your disregard anal. Buttstuff is absolutely heavenly and addicting when done right.

Grindr is your new friend

You've just internalized all the shaming. That's why you don't like your face, you keep thinking what other people would think if they saw you. You're fundamentally incapable of thinking for yourself. You cannot live your own life because you are constantly living it through the eyes of others.

the solution?

>inb4 come out as bi

here's a solution

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>ugh. this is terrible living in this purgatory of sexuality.
its not complicated. stop living int his retarded superficial world where sucking on a dildos got you hard. it means nothing. if you bough a flesh light with big flopping meat curtains you'd still get hard. a lot of the time sexual arousal is derived from deviancy rather than genuine attraction. this is why people tend to develop things like scat fetishes, piss fetishes, fisting, or cross dressing fetishes. such as here fulfilling these urges is something you're trained to do with porn, when you watch different types of porn than the ordinary you feel different; if you aren't out right disgusted by it you might find it alluring, and get a different more thrilling feeling than typical arousal when you just watch what you now consider normal porn. this is why tranny porn is so sustainable here; its alluringly different and the brain doesn't necessarily know what to do with this new idea. All of this is to say that you cant listen to your cock. if you follow your cock you will invariably be masturbating to scat or other extreme fetish porn that you might at present be disgusted by. You need to simply identify what it is you find attractive masculinity or femininity. Do you like mens hairy stomachs? do you like a mans dripping wet precum dick? do you like a grool dripping pink hairless pussy? identify what traits turn you on. and if both turn you in then simply live your life with women; but do you must pick one. do not spread disease by being a hook up hoe like this degenerate wants you to be
>i like your balls pls send pic

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Also, realising Im bi was the best thing ever

fuck off cunt

You just sound like a pervert to me OP neither gay nor straight somewhere in between.

Let your freak flag fly user.

im going to bed, but, i dont want you to slip into some degenerate lifestyle. we should be better than that and grindr is now safe on multiple levels. i could talk for hours about being a faggot with a low opinion of faggots in general but please just be practical and as suggested by others try and be happier with yourself, try to rid yourself of any potential self hatred; related to, and, unrelated to homosexuality. I think you benefit from /r9gay/ threads. here is the current one going. in the future if you want to find a /r9gay/ thread just go to /r9k/ hit catalog and command/control F to search it. anyway. good luck

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Gay sex is a lot like straight sex my friend, if you don't cum or the person is ugly or for whatever reason you're not feeling it you won't remember it with fondness. Imagine if someone fucked one fat ugly chick who puts in zero effort and then swore off hetero sex for the rest of their life, it would be equally silly. Maybe you've just gotta suck the right cock. I think if you're still feeling an urge to suck a dudes dick after trying it once it's probably worth exploring, but it depends on how you handle mistakes of this nature and if the potential shame and self loathing incurred by taking a load in the mouth is outweighed by the chances that you'll absolutely love it. For my 2 cents I'd say give it another try but pick a better dude this time, analyze what you enjoyed / didn't enjoy about the last encounter and try to refine your tastes, same as you would with a woman.

How hard did you fall down that slipper slope you built there?

user you legit sound like someone who has zero clues into their own sexuality and honestly sound really repressed. You talk more of deviance and scat than anyone else in this thread.

I think you just want to eat shit and are shamed it makes your little pee pee hard.

i used the most extreme examples of fetishes; this applies to all fetishes if i had said something about a foot fetish it would've been written off; so i used the most extreme and objectively fucked fetish. but ok ill take advice from a faggot with reddit spacing

>"youre repressed"
>is kike for "you should be filling your balls with E"
theres a way to be gay and not a faggot, and dont let these faggots trick you into living the life of a faggot because they themselves were. you can be a normal person who likes cock and has a gay lover who also disagrees with deviancy and degeneracy.

Larger isn't necessarily better, either. I have a small buttplug that I use to cum hard without any penile stimulation or even moving the plug manually. It just hits the right spot, and I flex my kelgels, and I get there in about 10 minutes or so. Intense as fuck.

I have an actual dildo I can do the same with, and it also provides a nice, full sensation.

he never said the guy was average, he said he was ugly. Just because someone is hetero doesn't mean they can't judge male attractiveness. Its like claiming to be unable to tell the difference between brian peppers and brad pitt.

It's a kink. You're not gay, or even bisexual unless you have had romantic feelings for someone of the same sex. There's nothing wrong with kinks either.