I hate people and i hate myself. i masked my autism last term at uni because i knew it was the only way i could fit in...

i hate people and i hate myself. i masked my autism last term at uni because i knew it was the only way i could fit in. i haven't been able mask it this term and all the people i thought were my friends have now abandoned me. why did i even try? what was the fucking point? people don't give two fucks about me.

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You're supposed to outgrow your autism

paradoxally, when i stopped giving a fuck about my autism and just started being myself, just more open and nice to people - everyone started being friendly and accepting towards me, no bulli

Don't mask anything.
Life is easier if you're honest and open.
No need to hate people, it's a waste of energy.
No need to hate yourself, it'll only bring you down.
You are who you are, cut yourself some slack and learn to accept your shortcomings.
Best of luck, user.

Just start simple self improvement and lessening things like masturbation

kill yourself

misanthropy isn't autism. stop abusing the word. no you don't have autism. everyone in the world thinks they are autistic.

Its funny because thats what is happening to me right now. I forced myself to be social but its so draining and i gave up and now no one talks to me because my whole posture says im unavailable dont talk to me. How exactly did it happen to you? How did you show your autism?

Yes, that's a completely rational reaction.

I've tried to be more myself this term but people keep rejecting me. i was with two of my housemates and jokingly said we were the three amigos but they just looked at me weirdly. why do i even try to make jokes or banter with people when i just constantly embarrass myself. i don't know what to fucking do.

Well you kinda sold them an empty promise OP, lied about who you were and all that. People generally aren't a fan of that

That's because people with autism are high-maintenance. More effort for the same value. It fills a niche, but good luck finding people buying.

Misanthropy isn't autism
Teenage fat kid angst isn't misanthropy
Being a fat annoying nerd is being a fat annoying nerd.

i'm sorry. i do have autism. i guess i'm also misanthropic

i don't know what else i'm meant to do. the only way people accept is if i hide it. I've never met someone who's just unconditionally accepted me. i have to mask my autism to survive.

you missed the part about being nice and open. to be a good person, you must really try. you cant just be passive - you must give something to other people if you want them to like you. the key to do it is just not expecting anything back. im not even talking about shitting yourself and doing favors for others. i mean casually being nice and helpful whenever you can

i agree. if i didn't have autism i probably wouldn't give shit but it's also why i have to mask it. i wish i could depend on people but can't because no one accepts me.

i am. i'm no saint but I always try to be nice people. i try not to be rude or inconsiderate. i'm just a retard.

im a retard too and i made it, sooo

maybe your just lucky. maybe it's not the same. if it's autism then it's a spectrum, sooooo

honestly theres always the alternate option - if you dont feel like being social, just dont - get a hobby, do something you enjoy without giving a fuck about other people. theres nothing wrong with being alone if you have something to do

social life isnt for everybody and not everybody is fit for it. maybe get into a fandom or some shit?

i already do that. i spend to much time sperging over my interests. it's just i want people to depend on and to have genuine friendships. i appreciate the advice. you've given more of a shit than most people have this term.

You're probably better off just signaling you have autism and telling people to be upfront and assertive when they want/do not want something. Most people are pussies, so when you go off the rails no one is capable of stopping you and when they don't know how to do that they just stay away.

Also never make yourself come of as desperate, that's ten times worse than autism.

im in the same place as you except im in high school... i feel so sorry for my past self because most of my life ive been bullied, misunderstood and alone, sperging over some weird interests 24/7 but the key to overcoming it is to become independent and self sufficient

thanks. i appreciate the advice. i hope it gets easier.