Best way to hide my body after I kill myself?

>Best way to hide my body after I kill myself?
Buy 25 very large helium balloons, tie them to you, float away to upper atmosphere over ocean, balloons burst, your lifeless body falls, gets eaten by sharks.

Jump off the back of a transatlantic cruise ship. But get on with fake ID? Is that possible?

you could like go very very far out into like a desert or a forest or something, and bury yourself alive possibly
it'd be a very agonizing and intricate way to die, but it might work out
like maybe do it the day before it rains so the dirt gets covered up real well on top of you

Protip: You should hide it BEFORE you kill yourself, not after. Once you do it, you wont be in any kind of condition to move yourself.

Attached: 1580789832271.jpg (700x850, 76K)

Bury yourself alive, obviously

kek

This may be too expensive, but you could go on a cruise or some boat with a high amount of random people and jump out after od'ing with a cinderblock. There's almost no way you'll be found in the ocean randomly or, if you do it at night, intentionally.

brilliant

Attached: 1517959628725.gif (700x350, 1.43M)

That's spectacular. That would actually work. It's so fucking absurd though and I would be reported quickly by FAA. It happened to this dude en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawnchair_Larry_flight?wprov=sfla1

Attached: Cluster Ballooning.jpg (900x1200, 326K)

Find manhole cover in deserted area. Kind with holes in it if possible.Pry it open. Tie rope to manhole cover. Other end to neck. Climb down little ladder steps. Pull cover back in place. Jump.

1. Build a small raft.
2. Go out as far as you can into the water.
3. Attach weights to yourself.
4. Kill self.

Btw, why care about not being found? Youll be dead so nothing will matter.

Just blow you brains out at a pig farm. Pigs eat everything.

go to a forest or deserted place and od yourself

Cameras will catch it. Then a head count is done and then in exposed. I could do it if I can get on board with a fake name. Is this possible?

If you're near a swamp or bayou with alligators that's your answer.

jump off a cliff while hiking, genius.

Depends what you dissolve with.
Lye doesn't fuck about

user, whatever you're going through, don't throw your life away over temporary problems. All of this will pass.

fag

>Best way to hide my body after I kill myself?
hire a car and drive your body to a wooded area on a mountain

cringe. KYS faggot.

Go out into the forest, undress and cover yourself in honey and wait for nature to run its course

I appreciate your intentions but I've been waiting years.

Go to Japan's Suicide forest.
youtube.com/watch?v=4FDSdg09df8

Go to desert and dig a shallow hole. Cover self with tarpaulin to make a oven then shoot self in head

>out into the forest, undress and cover yourself in honey and wait for nature to run its course
Dental records

volcano.

find a house being build and get yourself sealed into one of the walls.

------------

but what would be better than killing yourself and staying hidden?

finding a way to kill yourself and with 100% without a doubt having it blamed on a random person.,

fill a bathtub with hot, strong sodium hydroxide solution. finish the job standing over it. sodium hydroxide should take care even of the bones

Go to a national park or other huge woodland area. Go as far as you can into the deepest woods. Climb tree, put yourself a noose in the tree. give it about 6ft down until it tightens. Jump. you'll die and your bones will be gone before anyone finds you.

Jump into concrete before it dries, just OD on heroin right before you do it, a shit ton, then jump in.

dig a hole far away in the woods, make a really big fire in that hole (but make sure it's gonna raining tomorrow) and shot in your head at the moment you fall in that hole

Interesting. How the hell do I immerse myself in lye? Excruciating.

>volcano
Now we're talking

Not sure why u have that pic....

find a shit load of pigs and kill yourself near them, they will eat you whole

>Jump into concrete before it dries, just OD on heroin right before you do it, a shit ton, then jump in.
I think ppl would notice that someone jumped in

He's my professor. I got an A+.

Until that dumbass Logan Paul finds you

>OP doesn't want his body to be found
>suggest a location that is regularly searched for corpses
Great idea. Fucking idiot

why... he looks like a man who can give wise advice

>On October 6, 1993, at the age of 44, Walters committed suicide by shooting himself in the heart in Angeles National Forest.

WHATEVER YOU DO....

...make sure to livestream it for your buddies here on Cred Forums

Go into the woods and overdose on weed.

Radiation

Gotta hand it to him, that boy is one hell of a bloodhound for dead bodies

Based

HUGE amount of explosives, far far away from any inhabited area?
Vapourize yourself?

Alternatively: Kill yourself on top of an anthill/near termite mound?

>Best way to hide my body after I kill myself?

Jump into a wood chipper --problem solved

Attached: 4f06278249e5677f6e82d405fee9c9e6.jpg (600x800, 117K)

Yeah but some blonde retarded vlogger will film you then.

That’s coronavirus control over in China. All should killed themselves.

you need to fing a lot of wild agressive animals and let them eat you, or you can go to a black hood wearing sign "niggers", nobody will find you ever

I know. My point was only that taking balloon trips will get you detected by the FAA pronto. Then they find and ID my body. Not good.

But what about the chips. All it takes is one old woman with lots of jigsaw experience and its game over

Blow yourself up in a crowded mall during christmas season. The pieces of you will be intermixed with everyone else and with no id youll be a john doe if they even determine someone was present. Malls have super shit security and dont record video.

Get your own concrete, dig a hole out in the woods and do it. Do it near a creek to mix it.

Shit all of you are crazy pls dont suicide we live you :)^^

Easy, go to a Vulcano and jump. No trace AT ALL.

get the wood chipper far into a dessert and THEN jump into it

Love*

Not OP but internet love isn't always enough friend. Despair can feel so overwhelming sometimes that even a prostitute can't fix it

In a water tower. You and Lisa lam could be swim buddies

and dress in muslim suicide suit

1: buy cheap, little boat with sail/engine.
2: Go as far out on the nearest ocean as possible, the further out and deeper the better.
3: Sit on the edge of the boat, pockets full of weights and an hero.
4: Fall into the water as you expire.
5: Local deep sea fish get all fat and jolly.

Fly yourself and the woodchipper with helium balloons far out into the dessert, then jump into it far above the world. Meat shower onto everything over a 1 mile radius, the sparse pieces of you will be buried quickly and not be picked up any time soon.

Op is subtly asking the best way to murder and get rid of the body.

Attached: 194ED9C4-4C5F-453F-A251-771FA6A81365.png (750x1334, 847K)

Which dessert

Abandoned mine-shafts are all over some states. Could snort a lethal dose of fenty after climbing down, or fall if you like a slow painful death that could take days

Go hiking in a high desert where you can die in hours from dehydration, no-trace entering area & scavenging animals scattering your bones makes discovery unlikely

Crab bait, wrap your torso tightly in chicken-wire & tie to something heavy enough your body wont float offof the sea bottom after you jump in. Bottom feeder buffet.

Attached: Death-in-Paradise_2series-4-.jpg (2000x1572, 652K)

>1: buy cheap, little boat with sail/engine.
>2: Go as far out on the nearest ocean as possible, the further out and deeper the better.
>3: Sit on the edge of the boat, pockets full of weights and an hero.
>4: Fall into the water as you expire.
>5: Local deep sea fish get all fat and jolly.
This looks like the winrar. I'll do this overseas. Third world. Off the shores of Vietnam or Indonesia.

best advice so far

>Crab bait, wrap your torso tightly in chicken-wire & tie to something heavy enough your body wont float offof the sea bottom after you jump in. Bottom feeder buffet.
Like this one

The pussy desert that is your bed lmao

Good luck and godspeed, user.

Yeah you're right but for that there is pages that you can find friends or uf you have family tal to them

Yes, it's sounds and considered

Get involved with sex trafficking young girls and then cozy up with the Clintons and the Trumps

As soon as you are exposed and jailed you'll immediately 'commit suicide' and your bodyand identity will never be seen ever again

Remember, all your problems are just in your mind. You have things you enjoy in life, and things that will make you happy in the future that haven't happened yet. You also have people that will miss your terribly.

Cheer up, things really aren't as bad as they seem. Don't throw away your one and only life over stupid reasons.

oh you mean the pussy dessert your mom gave me last night

go deep into a forest. put branches and stuff over your body. put bullet into head...
nature and wildlife will dissolve your body and it will only take a few weeks before any traces are gone. bones will be scattared by wildlife.

/Thread

He scripted an automatic post. OP KILLED HIMSELF.

AAAAAAA what a joker

Thank you, sir, and and thank you to everyone in this thread. Youve sent me on my way while meeting my difficult criteria. My final words as I ease myself over the edge of the boat and into the water will be 'thank you, Cred Forums. You fuckers were always my friend.'

Attached: 9a6.jpg (398x500, 23K)

Why must it disapeer?
Kinda important to know of the only real selution is Explosive

:')

What a fucking awful thing to put your family through

Post your gofundme so we can buy you a GoPro

be a bro

damn... you might be right

why not roid instead of killing urself

Really????

swan dive into a wood chipper.

An "eclair au chocolat", maybe ?

Attached: 1271810955917.jpg (441x408, 28K)

Do this, but yell "IT WAS HER TURN" before you do it.

They have a volcano for this in Japan

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Mihara

Insurance won't pay a dime if they find out I an heroed

Trips, nice.

Honestly man, why not just live down there and fuck a bunch of those women. I gave into a chick from Loas a few months ago, best thing I ever did, she's pretty fucking awesome, young, great ass and always puts out, she just needs lots of love. I'm sure you can find the same if you moved there. Their dads are all fucked up from the culture, that's really why they love white cock my man, that and well, we're bigger. Learn Muay Thai while you're over there, it's pretty bad ass, love it.

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Mihara
Smart man.

dig a hole, bury yourself with a gun. shoot yourself in the head underground

would they if you are just reported missing?

Attached: images (47).jpg (862x356, 19K)

fake and gay.

Epstein is still alive.

You could start by not posting about it in fuking public forum...

Kek'd

You do not want to die, and it is apparent. Change your lifestyle.

Where is better than Cred Forums for this things????

Get a few weather balloons, wait until the wind is towards the sea and fly away never to be seen again

But it's not a body before you kys yourself.

Take a trip to a 3rd world country....

Act like an obnoxious American.

Someone will gladly help you.

Years and you're just now thinking of how to do it? Mmmm hmmm.

Why do the good have to die? Why does it have to be this way?

Attached: 57828-full.png (272x204, 82K)

You want op to walk? Not going to happen.

this and don't forget about the wood chipper

Go join the Hong Kong protestors..... theyre vanishing left and right.

That is the correct answer.

Try cronochan

Drink a ton of lice shampoo and try to shave them out as they crawl underneath your skin.

How the fuck did his sandals stay on.

This, then take over. Drop to them that you're CIA, and if you're a white American, you'll disappear in seconds.

get the wood chipper far into a volcano into a dessert and THEN jump into it. like this the chips are blazed

Op am not actually going to do it. I mean for one the insurance is going to find this thread because they'll be desperate to not pay out.

>tigres

Attached: 1320941564026.jpg (373x500, 117K)

You know lice shampoo doesn't made with lice user?

Sit on a large mound of thermite and ignite it.

You won't do it.

Bones remain

dude don't be stupid, dont die alone, before killing yourself do everything you wished to do like fucking your cousin, killing your enemies, torturing someone, etc. After all you will be dead so you might as well wanna go down as one of the most fucked up killers in the country, dont be a pussy and do what I said

I know you're telling my a lie, but thanks.

Attached: ML1MJXG.jpg (960x948, 60K)

Hunting accident
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sexless-marriage-struggle/id1412287325?i=1000459545053

Man, if you just disappear the insurance company will claim you skipped town and started another life and shaft your benefactors.

ive always known how i would kill myself
go to local zoo go pro attached bring a bowie knife and a gun find a bear or ape fight it to death anyone iterfears with my fight shoot them if i win go to next fighter

They won’t find you. It doesn’t matter.

Just kill yourself out in the middle of nowhere in some woods
>remove moss in big pieces
>dig a grave big enough for your body
>lie down in hole
>place moss on top of you
>shotgun in mouth
>pull trigger
>?????
>profit

Tradition seems to demand, I recommend you to do a barrel roll.
So long, space cowboy.

Plan to become an activist that wants to help the black community overcome the struggles of American society. I can assure you that they'll never find your body.

They won’t find you. It doesn’t matter.

Ditto

How abou jumping in a barrel of acid?

Just get drunk and go walk around national parks. Check out missing 411 David Paulides. People disappear all the time.

Basically this. But shot yourself in the head right before you slip into the water. So the death is less painless.

You basically have to be leaning off the edge so that once you blow your brains out your lifeless body falls into the water.

I have thought about this many times.

Paris catacombs or another restricted access catacomb, take enough food to walk for days, get as deep as possible, an hero. Likelyhood of you being found before mummification is extremely low

Maybe he just doesnt want op to get what he wants you faggot you ruined everything

Collect many branches of trees and make a tipi with them and leave space in the center to enter and then spray all the wood with gasoline and you too and get inside and light a cigar.

Attached: Catacombs2.png (741x352, 526K)

This server saved my friend from suicide

Attached: 437 - b7nGkfD.jpg (284x177, 12K)

something like 40% of its properly mapped and there are older catacombs underneath, genuinely terrifying that they exist, the older ones are made with machinery possibly a lost civilization.

Travel to some Native African Village Tribe and have them cook you. It's a fun adventure and you get your wish.

would be so fucking fun to explore, but i don't have a death wish

OP is a woman. Men almost never care about their body’s discovery after suicide.

Just don't, idiot. Stay here with me, we'll go bowling.

Dafuq is that?

Don’t get drunk before you go to your ending spot as you will fuck something up and leave a trail. You need to venture out far away from any trails. Thick brush. Basically get lost in it. Sit by a tree, make peace. Over much time nature will eliminate your body. Wear not much all natural fabric clothing. Animals will scatter your bones.

Use your brain you fucking moron. Look at the context

Is it rabbit warren?

This or go swimming with white sharks. Not the black sharks. They don't work

They dont tip either!

whatever you decide your fate to be, I honestly hope it brings peace to your mind. good luck fellow /brother.