Wizard here. Nobody wants to have sex with me. How do you find someone who wants to have sex?

Wizard here. Nobody wants to have sex with me. How do you find someone who wants to have sex?

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you pay them

Paying them doesn't mean they want to be there. And if they don't want to be there what's the point?

Prison?

Open your wallet, start waving those nickers around and, if the wind favours you, a woman ought to puck up the scent and follow it to you.

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what does this mean specifically? i've got money, so that isn't an issue. how do use that to my advantage in a way that doesn't make me seem like an asshole?

>how do use that to my advantage in a way that doesn't make me seem like an asshole?
You crumple them into little balls and flick them into their face.
They love that.

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it's easy man
just be yourself and you'll find someone

Go to the gym u mong

Wow what a sensitive faggot you are. You're ego need a cold shower.

i've been working on getting in better shape
mostly things like hiking and skiing
how fit do i need to be to be attractive?
what's wrong with wanting to have consensual sex with an eager partner? that's all i ask.

I know of a spell where it calls up a demon to possess the body of a woman or girl for the purpose of sex. The only catch is you have to kill the host as the sex with the demon drives it insane and dangerous enough to implicate you as a rapist.

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that seems a bit extreme
so far i've only used my wizard powers to master spells like dispel attraction and sphere of repel females

How old are you? How much do you weigh? Are you horribly ugly? Are you on the spectrum?

34
180lbs
not horribly ugly, but certainly not hot either
i'm relatively average in the looks department
never diagnosed, but i wouldn't be surprised if i'm somewhere on that beautiful rainbow

You know what's funny OP? I'm in the worst shape of my life and still getting some.

Okay. So you're a fairly average dude. Language skills seem decent. Your first step to getting laid is to go on a dating app. Find a chick you connect with (keep your standards low for your first time) chat her up. Take her on a couple dates and you'll be in. It's really simple. You just gotta bite the bullet and do it. The real trick is not to fall in love with the foray chick you bang

how do women react to male torso that isn't in good shape?
iv'e got a stretch mark from a low point in my life quite a few years ago where i stopped caring. i've turned myself around since then, but the scar will be with me for life
do you have a dating app you'd recommend? i've looked at a few of them and it seems like average men are pretty screwed, just not literally
i don't have much in the way of standards. i still haven't technically ever been on a date. i just want someone to let me take her out for dinner

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I've seen similar graphs before and I think it's funny how women complain all the time about men having unrealistic expectations from watching models/movie/porn stars and then you have shit like this.

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This guy gets it.

get hobbies, be interesting, learn how to be charming

Man you could just do Tinder or something like that. Average guys do well on all apps. Find an older chick who has been through some shit and is just looking for a nice guy who won't treat her like crap. Don't put women on pedestals. They're just as clueless about life as men

Who cares about stretch marks? You're not a woman. It's good you're trying though, can't fault you for that.

I wish I had the motivation you do to work on yourself.

what's wrong with seeming like an asshole?

It's not very hard, women are people. You just have to lie to yourself and believe that you're not worthless. If you have good qualities it's just a matter of going for it. You have to put in the work to get the return though. That means nutting up and talking to women or matching with women on a dating app and striking up a convo (don't set your standards too high, you'll have more luck)

>just be yourself
Thats the problem

Be yourself to an extent, but don't fully open up until you're somewhat close. That way you won't scare people off

i've got some hobbies
mostly outdoor stuff like hiking and skiing
but i also work a full time job, so time is limited
i think women generally find me interesting
we can chat for a while about hobbies, or just random shit
that sometimes leads to friendship, but never to anything more
>learn how to be charming
yep, there's the rub
if i knew that, i wouldn't be here posting this thread
how do you be charming?
i'm thinking of trying tinder. i've heard its all about having a good collection of pictures, so i've been building my repository
i do. i haven't taken off my shirt in front of a woman in years. i know it's honestly not that bad all things considering, but i still feel like shit knowing i fucked up ages ago and i'll feel the repercussions for the rest of my life

You need to be fit enough that you feel confident. Aside from living longer, being fit and liking what you see in yourself is the point of fitness.

If you like what you see in yourself, you're giving off vibes to everyone around you that you're a "strong" (mentally and physically) individual.

That's what women like. I've seen a lot of confident dudes who were beerfit pull in choice trim. I've seen a few dudes with all the weightroom cut muscles fail because they still lacked self-confidence.

it takes practice. you have to learn how to manipulate conversations and give compliments without being creepy. it sounds like you just aren't able to seal the deal. it's probably because the girls don't even know you're interested. so tell them. you have to make it somewhat obvious early on.
hit up outdoor events on meetup dot com or the like. you'll find single women there that are looking for a man.

i don't know. i guess in theory women love assholes. so maybe i'm just not being a big enough asshole. but that's not what i want to be
i don't have problems talking to or connecting with women
women love to talk, and honestly its easier to talk to women than it is to talk to men
but i can't figure out how to take the next step into an intimate relationship
i don't like what i see in myself, but i think that's more of a personal problem with the way i view myself than an objective problem with my person
by a lot of metrics, i'm doing pretty well in life
so do you just straight up tell a woman you're interested? or what? flirting seems like a ridiculously complicated game where everyone other than me has a copy of the rules.

flirting is learning how to subtle about hinting at your interest in someone. and if you can't be clever about it, then sooner or later just say it outright. remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

fair enough
so far though, i also miss 100% of the shots i do take

Ok, you don't like what you see in yourself. Dude, that's an issue. It needs fixed.

Exercise helps.
Meditation helps.
Learning a new skill helps.
Therapy helps.

It's a matter of mixing and matching various self-care strategies to find the point where you can look in the mirror after a night of heavy drinking and pizza, and know that you'll slay the world.

I'm 40. I'm about 20 lbs overweight. I exercise when I can, but know that with my work schedule, it's not happening even 3 times a week.

If I genuinely wanted to end my marriage tonight, I could go downtown and fuck a 20 year old college girl without any financial expenditure whatsoever (save fuel costs).

Why?

I'm a goddamned Master Gunner. I'll do what I want.

OP you are getting some good advice in this thread, for a change, take notes. Confidence is key for women. Really really work on that and the rest will fall into place. When Lion's hunt they dont go after the the strongest, fastest gazelle, they go after the homely girl in the corner lol

just keep doing it slightly differently until you find something that works

I'm covered in stretch marks and scars. It hasn't put anyone off but me, I'm guessing the same with yourself. Chill out, take a step back and stop taking everything so seriously. You'll forget to enjoy life otherwise.

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Get out from in front of your computer and play station...Just hang out in a bar or other gathering place for people your age.
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut eventually.

Lower your standards.

This formula is far from being mathematically correct

i've been working on self improvement
the past year has been pretty good in that regard
made new friends
found new hobbies
got in better shape
lost weight
i just cant imagine seeing myself as a desirable person in the absence of any desire from a woman
believe me, i'm trying to take it all in
it's amazing how many normal people have managed to have sex. it comes so easily to you guys, and to me it's just so completely foreign
thanks, that's good to hear. women seem to enjoy hanging out with me as long as the shirt stays on. i hope that remains the case afterwards

i don't know what's a good gathering place for people my age. it seems like people my age are either married with kids, or have given up on life
i don't know where to find anyone who falls into the potential real life category
i'm really not looking for much. i just want a female human with no penis who actually wants to have sex with me. which part of those standards should i lower?

Just got to get a little self confidence that's all. Try swimming for fitness- might get you used to taking that shirt off in front of people too.

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Think about seeing a therapist as well. It seems you have a few mental roadblocks that a pro might help you get out of your way. You can even do therapy via text message these days. I think you just need a few tweaks and you'll be fucking bitches in bo time flat

As much as I love this pic, the love of money is the root of all evil. Timothy.

So you have friends, hobbies, and have gotten in better shape.

But, you don't see yourself as desirable?

Post a pic of your absolute minimum expectation that you'd want a woman to look like.

If you have a hair on your ass, post a pic of yourself as well.

I'm telling you man, I'm 40. Medically retired from the army for PTSD. Got plenty of whiskey weight. I can and have pulled ladies half my age, got caught by the wife, and kept her too.

I'm not a chad, I just know that I'm fucking awesome, and will always be awesome.

Get a big dog
11% of white people lose their virginity to dogs

1.)Go to a 24-hour book store.
2.)Wait in one of the small cubicles in the back.
3.) Inspect auspicious hole in wall.
4.)?????
5.)$20 richer, also no longer a wizard.

>If you have a hair on your ass
lolwut

Jesus.

I'm a GenX asshole and have heard that my whole life.

What the fuck happened?

I'll translate for you to something similar.

"if you have any balls at all."

I'm 28 and have never heard that. Hair on the chest is common enough, though. It's more likely regional than generational.

Talk to every woman. EVERY. WOMAN. eventually one will be responsive.

if you're fat you gotta lose weight.

Confidence

Where you is?

I'm in the Ozarks.

damn dude find a fat girl on a dating app, do you live in the middle of nowhere?

samefag from this reply.

Look at this, think to yourself "how the fuck does he do it?"
And then look at all of my posts.

That's how.

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Oh and I forgot to mention, if all else fails find some COCAINE or MDMA and a girl who likes drugs. They are the ULTIMATE panty droppers. Just be careful if you indulge as well. Both can make you pee pee no worky

west coast

Ozarks here.

Same concept.