If Khan Sousaphone hated Texas so much why did he move there?

Because it was better than Canada.

>Austin
Aren't they like so different from the rest of Texas it's like walking into a different state?

There's a Dr. Pepper Museum?

Southeast Asians are the fucking worst. I work part time in customer service and I deal with a lot of outsourced Filipino reps. They constantly lie to customers and fuck up their accounts beyond repair. Their voices are annoying as fuck too.

It still counts as Texas, dammit.

East Texas is the best place to live though. Avoid the cities and avoid the border. East Texas is peaceful and sparsely populated but the people are nice, the land is cheap, and there are discoveries around every corner because Texas is enormous.

It's in Waco. You can buy the original Dr. Pepper made from cane sugar instead of corn syrup and it's delicious.

>the people are nice,
>East Texas

user, I'm white as shit and I STILL won't go to Jasper unarmed.

Maybe he got relocated by his company?

>I STILL won't go to Jasper unarmed.

To be fair, there's no reason you should ever go anywhere unarmed.

East Texas is peaceful, its inhabitants kind.

that is just Filipinos in generals

but they have a great president. you don't know many guys who fed a person to an alligator.

You reading this in my voice now
Dumb hillbilly ha ha-ha

These dumb rednecks keep trying to make me look bad. I make more money than any of you!
ຢຸດເຊົາການຂະໂມຍຕົວຕົນຂອງຂ້ອຍ!

Sometimes you have to go to a place you hate. There are a few places on earth that are God's country, and Texas is one of them.

This. Also spiderwebs are a FUN and PROVEN SAFE bedding material! DON'T remove the spiders though, we make it safe for you to sleep outdoors and keep bedbugs away!

Texas is where people move after they've failed everywhere else.

This seems like the most logical answer.

His Job moved him there.

I will have to check it out if i am ever in the area

You americans sure do use a lot of corn syrup

That's Dubai.

It's a good place

I was talking to a Korean transfer student earlier who had been to a dozen different states before this. She said Texas people are pretty calm and nice. Then it got into a discussion about how New York is a very different game, and they take offense to politeness.

I can't say king of the hill is really inaccurate.

Texas is bigger than most European countries. You can go a lot of places in Texas that are entirely different than the others.

That picture look like Khan is about to cop a feel.

We started selling sugar coke in glass bottles ever since Mexico coke started to catch on and be popular. People were importing it, so the market answered, and now some stores keep it in stock.

Coke or Pepsi products also came out with limited brands that have sugar which are only released occassionally. As long as people can make money, someone will answer.

No way Arizona and Florida. Texas is not on that level

So, is he Chinese or Japanese?

FOND OF MY SOULS

That IS how reading works, yes.

>he really believes this

Apparently he is a complete asshole that keeps causing trouble and getting kicked out of every neighborhood.

I just don't understand why he moved to a lower income working class neighborhood if he was supposed to be making so much money, and hated rednecks so much.

I feel khan is the one way a show has made a racist sterotype into a kind lovable character

>reminder that everything's bigger in Texas

Isn't that the truth?

>including the disappointment

So he could be the big fish in the small pond.

>Aren't they like so different from the rest of Texas it's like walking into a different state?
>Texas is bigger than most European countries. You can go a lot of places in Texas that are entirely different than the others.

South Texas = Northern Mexico

West Texas= Eastern New Mexico

Panhandle= Southern Colorado

North Texas= Southern Oklahoma

East Texas = Western Louisiana

And Austin is our San Francisco.

"Real Texas" is that triangle between San Antonio, Dallas, and Houston. Pretty much where King of the Hill is set.

Everybody imagines South/West Texas though.

California has better Mexican food

Putting everything into a tortilla does not "better Mexican food" make.

Dumb Redneck, bet you wish your wife had titties this nice. Yes, feel SO good in my hand. You never know what this feel like, enjoy hillbilly flapjacks stapled to gross spouse chest. UhHAhaHA

really did not help his constant attempts to join a country club

Californian here, you're wrong.

>muh mission style

Californian who has been to Texas here.
That is false.

California and Texas have different Mexican food. Neither one is inherently better than the other but most people would probably prefer the version they grew up with.

>UhHAhaHA
there it is. that's the stuff. nailed the voice

8/10 well done user

The entire show is about subverting stereotypes.

Pepsi has made the real sugar variant a permanent addition to its lineup instead of the twice a year release it had been doing.

Also real sugar Fanta is amazing.

for his job

miami here. objectively best most authentic mexican food.

>THE ALAMO.

The what?

Mexico has better Mexican food.

>Miami
>Mexican

It's in Dublin actually and unfortunately no longer sells original Dr Pepper ever since the Snapple group sued them to oblivion. ;_;

I think the single most annoying aspect of the random Californians appearing in my state is how they are almost required to tell everyone they meet that the Mexican food in Californian is infinitely better and how you have never had "real" Mexican food, they've had real Mexican food...

Happened way more times than I ever cared to count.

Objectively false.

Unless you like eating food tainted with god knows what.

>You americans sure do use a lot of corn syrup

We have a lot of corn.

As a Californian I officially apologize for our hipsters infecting your state.
But you do have to take at least some responsibility for all the "visit/move to Texas" advertising you flooded our state with.

There's also good gun laws, no state tax, and the Hazelwood Act.

They put SALMON in the fish tacos.

SALMON. Who fucking does that.

what are you, stupid?

Its New York syndrome, or whatever you would call it. I just made that name up. But New York always gotta be "You haven't ever had real pizza unless you've had New York Pizza, all other pizza is literal shit and not actual pizza. I haven't had your pizza, but I know it sucks and its nothing compared to real the real real pizza you find here".

It creates some strange "us vs them" going on when you hear people around you say that you have the best something, eventually you start taking pride in it whether its true or not, you start parroting the statement. Its gotta be better, because its us, and we're the best.

I agree japanese burgers are better than american ones since they don't put chemicals in their burgers.

Chicago is better

Enjoy your bread with shit on it

They had an episode on this

youtube.com/watch?v=f6x368MUQJg

youtube.com/watch?v=yChVLrgkpbY

yes the upper class mexicans who could afford plane tickets.

not the filthy walkers

>not getting the joke

This
Japanese burgers are better than american ones, since they don't put god knows what in their burgers.

They better have good burgers given what the did to the poor pizzas

different cultures have different tastes :^)

Had to look it up. School never mentioned it so never heard of it before now. I went to one of those schools that did not even mention the Civil Rights movement in the 60s since it "promotes disobedience". I guess the Alamo gut cut from the lesson plan for a similar reason.

Alamo is accompanied with the phrase "Remember the Alamo", because you can't forget it, its like 9/11 for Texans for some time. The final stand of some great figures and heroes, as they were surrounded by the Mexicans, but they held out until the last man. It was an impossible victory, and of course they lost. However the memory of their loss was enough to cause others to rally, to take revenge for them and grab Texas independence.

They were able to beat a strong empire of that age and establish themselves due to the Alamo.

Davey Crockett and all the others, they all died there though.

Interesting shit. How the hell am I 22 and no one has ever mentioned this stuff to me? Why are US schools so horrible and leave out so much neat shit?

Because no one cares but texans.

Always wondered what made the Mexican food more authentic elsewhere when the kitchen in this restaurant is filled with authentic Mexicans.

That entire era is basically relegated to being told through Westerns. Most people probably figure that's good enough.

Only if you're talking fast food and you haven't eaten real food in years except for what your grandma cooked because your mom never made more than mac and cheese.

You disgusting weeb trash.

Its basically like the American version of 300

Where a few spartans hold off an army, for a bit, but then lose in the end.

What new york doesn't realize is every city has their own pizza trends and styles they also like to boast about, but only new york actually believes is.

I happen to like the St. Louis thin crust with gross looking but tasty provel cheese that I get at home, and I like chicago deep dish pizza, but with all their bragging I still don't even know what new york does that makes theirs so special because I haven't been there.

I wonder if new york is just fooling themselves.

>I just don't understand why he moved to a lower income working class neighborhood if he was supposed to be making so much money, and hated rednecks so much.

He was probably lead on by Ted and the other members of Nine Rivers that he could move in to some rich community very easily and live the high life but could only afford to live where he is now and just considered it a temporary set back until he hit the Jackpot or saved up enough money.

>Burgers
>not fast food
Unless you're talking about something other than burgers, I haven't had anything close to what I had in kyoto than what I had in LA.

>still don't even know what new york does that makes theirs so special because I haven't been there.

literally nothing. it's just a bog standard greasy thin mess

New Yorkers have always had their heads lodged firmly up their own asses.

'go 'za a shit

la is a food wasteland. for burgers you need to go to the ranching states or the restaurant capitals.

NY Vegas Chigaco. Wisconson is also notable as is kentucky

Why is Ted Wassanasong so based?

LA? That's your only point of reference for what a good american burger tastes like? Where the fuck do you get burgers that you think Japan can cook them better?

What is so magical about that burger in kyoto?

And more importantly, what kind of horribly cliche of an American tourist visits another country and orders American food?

There is a small kernel of truth to what NY has being "the true pizza" in that pizza was invented there. So assuming the recipe did not change over the last century or so you could say NY is "The original pizza". But saying that every other kind of pizza is not actually pizza just because it's made differently is some dumb shit.

Plus it's just food, nothing to get worked up over.

Not just that, for something like burgers you can find some of the best at some small hole in the wall in a city in the southeast, or a bbq in a small town in the midwest. They're like those stories where someone walks into a store they never remember seeing and buys something that turns out to be magical and when they come back the next day the store is gone as if it were never there.

Except with burgers.

I get that the japanese have wagyu and the real stuff is a high art, but bring that shit over here and it is no contest at the highest end.

It was invented in Italy. Whatever New York "invented" was just a variation of that. Saying they invented pizza is like saying Lutherans invented Christianity. They only made their own variant and other people saw their example and followed suit.

Because America Had SO MUCH SHIT GOING ON AT THE TIME! The Alamo, Civil War. Mexican American War, Louisiana purchase, Trail of Tears, and more happened with in the span of 20 years thats a lot to cover so most states focus on state relevant stuff

New Mexico had and has the best history though.

Huh, always heard differently. I'll look it up after some sleep.

Same reason Americans hate doing the pledge despite living in America

if you want to go back even further there is evidence that Roman Soldiers loaded up stall flat bread with Rind cheese, olives and olive oil, and made pizza on the battlefield.

it's just more new york boasting. It might have gotten popular in America because of Italians who moved to new york, and it might have first been Americanized there, but that's about all the claim they have.

And these days every country in the world has their own pizzas and their own preference for toppings. Some have the strangest shit to us, but it's the 'regular' for them. Yet it's all still pizza.

From that perspective New York is just behind the times.

>Implying I'm american
Went to go visit for e3. Tried In n out since that's what everyone told me to try, pretty mediocre theirs fries tasted terrible. Also went to a place named Hawkins better than In n out but not as good as Grand burger in kyoto.
Since la is a food wasteland I suppose it's a good reference.

He's lotion.

I never do the pledge. I always just stand there grinning while all of the sheep around me blindly bow to their master. I've even gotten into a few fights about it will particularly well-indoctrinated sheep.

This. There was so much going on that schools usually just focus on what was relevant to their region. Some might get a tidbit about the Alamo, but most learn it from pop culture. Only in Texas is it important enough to really be prominent.

It's mentioned a lot in pop culture so it's still surprising he never heard of it.

Hahaha, SUPER BASED!

Fast food is called fast 'food', not 'good' food. A place named for walking in and out fast is going to be fast food.

So yeah, by fast food standards they might be ok, but dang it bobby, a good burger is not going to be fast.

jesus

Do you people seriosuly have to recite it every single day in school?

There are laws against forcing people to do it. But no school will tell you that.

The store at I'm working at sells Mexican coke individually, 2 different six packs, and cold ones. Although I work at a luxury market.

You don't have to but most people do it. Sometimes particularly cunty teachers try to shame students who don't because they're fucking assholes.

Schools don't care. You can stand and do nothing, or stay seated. As long as you're not disruptive during it. But if you can't even manage that you deserve to get kicked out of class.

Detroit style is alright.

It's kinda a mix between the two. Jets and Buddy's are the best example if you don't wanna look up weird versions online.

>As long as you're not disruptive during it.

The school I went to considered sitting quietly and not bothering anyone during it was "disruptive". I got suspended for it.

I didn't know that, I thought you did it at the beginning of the school year or something. If I remember correctly, that's how we did it in my country, the national anthem was played on the beginning of the first day of school, we had to stand and put our hands on our hearts and that's that.

Doing it every single day is a bit cult-ish.

McDonalds is better in most foreign countries though

So is KFC

Mexican food in Mexico is shitty just like most fast food in america is shitty because the food of the common people doesn't have a lot of quality put into it, but when you're selling exotic foods to foreigners (your food being exotic in this case) you put effort into it so you can charge them more

ow the edge

One time I went to a Chinese restaurant and ordered a burger because I'm poor and it was cheap. I never heard the end of it from the waitress. Don't order oriental burgers.

>McDonalds is better in most foreign countries though
Jesus christ this.

I don't understand it, I grow up in a third world shithole associating McDonalds with, like, actual meat and lettuce and tomatoes between two actual pieces of bread, and then I go to America for college, and I get the exact same kind of McChicken sandwich, and somehow they've substituted the chicken with a disc covered in pepper, and they just put a thin slice of green to pass off as lettuce, and they SMEAR it in mayonnaise between two pieces of brick.

What the fuck is that. What the fuck. What the fuck is that.

>Doing it every single day is a bit cult-ish.

Had a family friend that was like a 3rd grandfather to me. He was born and spent most of his life in the Soviet Union, the place he was from is its own country now, and even he thought forcing people to stand and do that hand over your heart thing for the pledge was fucked up.

But I'm black. Is Khan racist against blacks too?

>We started selling sugar coke in glass bottles ever since Mexico coke started to catch on and be popular.
You gringos have good taste.

Last time I checked, pasty Cubans aren't Mexicans.

TARGET SIGHTED

NO PLEASE

Khan would likely be racist towards anyone not his particular ethnicity just to feel superior.
>Hey, Dumb Jungle Bunnies, check out new bike I just bought, only cost half my paycheck. Oh do you not know what paycheck is? It like welfare check but you actually work for it. UaHahaHa! And don't bother trying to steal it or I call all your parole officers.

Basically because Khan is seen as a hillbilly to other people from Laos. Hell Ted was even more of a pompous ass to him than he was to Hank....in the end Hank is the closest thing Khan has to a friend... and he hates himself for it.

I think its that place Ozzy Osbourne used as a toilet once.

A better job opportunity I'm guessing.

Also Mihn, Luanne, and Peggy are best girls.

>I never heard the end of it from the waitress
Did you even understand her?

From the ocean?

No one actually hates Texas. You can't hate Texas. You're just upset you're not from Texas and pretend to hate it because you're not Texan but live there - and you love every damn second of it; you see, there are two types of people, those that are born in Texas and those that are born out of it. Texas loves the people its birthing hips gave life to, a kind of love you only find by being Texan - this counts even if you're born out of Texas as long as your parents never forgot that Texan love, you're as Texan as they come, friend. Now, people keep saying that they're not part of the land, but that's not true. Texas loves its babies. It loves its fine titties Houston and Dallas and give you a slam dunk of a time in San Antonio.

But Khan isn't Texan. As much as he says doesn't want it, that he would rather spit on his wife than admit he wants to go to town like a spiritual Oedipus to its Jocasta.

That's Khan's problem. He loves Texas. He loves it so much - but he knows that despite fucking his lawn with that Cambodian-descended pencil dick of his, it'll always look to the truebred Texan man like its true son and the big-tittied, tight-pussied Texan women as the finest its daughters can be. Khan will always that guy who got off that boat and longed to leap into the fine tits of Momma Texas's bosom.

But he knows she'll never love him as much as a bar-hopping, gut-dropping, cackle-cauling, Texan steer.

I just finished eating a burger I made myself

>aussie beef mince from the butcher
>vegetable stock
>shredded carrot
>red onion cooked in butter
>Worcestershire sauce
>HP sauce
>garlic
>breadcrumbs
>salt and pepper

>fresh bakery roll
>iceburg lettuce
>mild 'murican mustard
>tomato slices
>beetroot
>some bacon

All my housemates liked it and asked for seconds (my evidence they're not just being nice).

Burgers aren't necessarily shitty fast food, they can be done quite well if you're willing to put in the time.

>Red onion
>Cooked in butter

Neck yourself.

it smells and tastes fucking delicious, try it sometime. And don't blame me blame Coles taste.com.au/recipes/39349/best ever aussie burger

i had that recently and i'll be damned if it wasn't surprisingly good

>do Alamo
>create sovereign nation
>get annexed by USA
>everytiem

its probably mostly white guilt apologizing or at least ignoring American conquest

this is why America is no longer great

>best barbecue

them's fighting words with every other southern state, son

And North Carolina has better BBQ although its unfair to even call what texas throws together BBQ

They cut the fucking ALAMO from your?

Holy SHIT.

It was revealed that Khan is bipolar. It was probably his only option left.

Also your school shafted you.

Man I went to Catholic school and we got the good and bad shit because that's important. You need both to get an idea of where we came from. Promotes disobedience jesus christ.

Its regionalism chest beating but you're also saying a whole hunk of the country is fooling itself based on something you haven't tried.

So idk look in a mirror I guess. Most of it is in good fun anyway.

They left out the part saying why they ended up in that battle in the first place. That being a crazy fuck millionaire who decided he wanted his own country and went to steal land from Mexico and murder all non whites in the area. Mexico said fuck you and then the assholes got what they deserved but dragged a bunch of innocent dopes who were in the area into the conflict.

Wait, what voice do I read normal Anonymous posts in?

>I just don't understand why he moved to a lower income working class neighborhood if he was supposed to be making so much money, and hated rednecks so much.

He doesn't make that much money. That's why he's so resentful and pissed off all the time. He's not happy with his lot in life and thinks he should be rich.

I thought Detroit style was robbing the delivery man?

He's another pompous carpetbagger who can't admit just how unlivably shitty Democrat-run states eventually become without admitting the inherent failure of liberalism.

>no state tax
>right to work
>low cost of living
>second amendment protected
>no natural disasters
>low crime rates (outside Democrat-run major cities)

All the Mexifornia license plates throughout our state are indicative of our effective policy making.

>only serena looks lost
muh sides

Yeah, no. Southern New Mexico has the best. We also have our trump card, Hatch Green Chili.

CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST AND CAVIAR FOR YOUR CAT

Woah there bud, you might want to get off your pastor's cock and stop reading those chick tracts before you make another post

>THE ALAMO
FUCK YEAH!

Everyone's a closet texaboo

Mockery is a universal language

>Mfw live in Michigan
>Get to enjoy quality mexican food without living in redneckland

I think Northwest Ohio is practically Mexican food capital of the midwest. There's a reason Taco Bell uses Toledo as its testing grounds for new products

>dat Tribalism

It's annoying, but there's a certain truth to it. Most of the Mexican food you find in Texas is actually Tex-Mex. Whether it's better is a matter of opinion (I happen to think it is), but it's true that it's not "real" Mexican food.

I didn't get the joke behind Ted's voice until I moved to Houston and ended up meeting several Asian dudes who talk just like him. Apparently they sound like that because they're trying really hard to remove their natural accents and Americanize themselves and put on this exaggerated attempt at an American accent.

Even better when you see the original salute

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bellamy_salute

This. He's after that rich lifestyle but it's out of his reach, so he's trying his best to live the life of a rich, pompous ass without actually having the wealth. That's why he's obsessed with Nine Rivers, getting in means he's made it to this elite caste that he feels he deserves to be a part of. He's eternally frustrated that he can't climb that ladder and takes out on other people who are at his economic level but are satisfied with where they are. He's desperate to find any reason to make himself feel superior to these people because he's desperate to BE superior to them.

To be fair that was WAY before the Nazis and it's even older than that.
Hitler really ruined so many things simply by using them. It's a wonder we can even drive Volkswagons anymore,

True, but it's still cultish as hell. The hand over the heart is a much less bizarre gesture, even if the entire pledge still has an air of fascism to it.

At least Hugo Boss seemed to have gotten out of it unscathed. Well, the company anyway, Boss himself wasn't so lucky.

Ain't nothing wrong with trying to instill a little patriotism into kids.
However all they managed to do was cause utter disinterest in the pledge itself since it's just associated with going through the motions when you're half sleepy and about to have a long boring day.

>Ain't nothing wrong with trying to brainwash some kids

>However all they managed to do was cause utter disinterest in the pledge itself since it's just associated with going through the motions when you're half sleepy and about to have a long boring day.
It also doesn't help that kids aren't actually given an explanation for what they're pledging. In the early grades, most kids just know that they're words that are supposed to be repeated but are never given any context. That's how stuff like "Richard Stands" happens.

...

Finally a reason for me to wanting to go to Texas.

Just to make you even worse: I'm not even American and I've known about the Alamo since before I was 10. Not because of school though, I just was into Davey Crockett.