ATTENTION PUNY WEAKLINGS OF THE INTERNET

IT IS I, YOUR LORD AND MASTER, AKU. THE DELIVERER OF DARKNESS. THE SHOGUN OF SORROW. THE MASTER OF MASTERS, HERE TO ANSWER YOUR IDIOTIC QUESTIONS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY SUPREME AKU-NESS. ASK AWAY.

Does Jack know you're cheating on him with Blossom?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? PUNY LITTLE WORM, BEGONE WITH YOU.

WAIT, AKU? AS IN, THE AKU?

THE GUY WE USED TO GIVE SWIRLIES TO BACK IN UNIVERSITY?

YOU'RE STILL USING THAT "DELIVERER OF DARKNESS" CRAP?

HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT MAN I THOUGHT YOU GREW OUT OF THAT

THAT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING, MAN.

YOU SEEM TO ACT AS IF I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION, ZILLA.

I'M SORRY, WHICH ONE OF US RULES OVER AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE AGAIN?

OH YES, IT'S ME.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

I'M WAITING, SAMURAI.

i'm with UNATCO start talking

Aku, how do I deal with my persistent attraction to amoral, heartless characters who kidnap and take advantage of others?

I DESTROYED YOUR HEADQUARTERS AND USED THE BUILDING MATERIALS TO CONSTRUCT A ROBOT-FACTORY.

YOU DON'T.

THEY'RE THE BEST CHANCE YOU'VE GOT!

do you have a single fact to back that up ?

Dear Aku,

When will you do something about the illegal immigration problem?

The number of alien biospheres currently on Earth is unsustainable to your evil empire. I can understand wishing to rule the galaxy and displacing local cultures with militaristic mercenaries and slave species, but when invasive weevils from Io are eating electronics in your security fences, it does interesting things to public order.

Like letting the Samurai escape because the electric field on his cell is disabled.

By the weevils.

So when are you going to start taking care of the things you own? Kick out the fucking aliens. And the Mexicans.

DO YOU DARE QUESTION THE AUTHORITY OF THE GREAT AKU?

O Great and Powerful Aku! Hear my humble question! Can girls have feminine penises?

hey aku how's it feel to be the second best demon in hell ?

Dear AKU,

Prepare for me.

Sun Tzu.

Why do you take over everything but barely develop it? I mean, there are always giant bugs and gangs everywhere

O Great and Powerful Aku, Master of Darkness, Lord of All the World.


... how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

BAH.

THE WEEVILS ARE THE LEAST OF MY PRIORITIES AS LONG AS THAT SAMURAI IS STILL AROUND AND ABOUT.

MY SCIENTISTS ARE ALREADY WORKING ON A WAY TO HALT THE WEEVIL ANNOYANCE. DON'T YOU WORRY, PUNY PEASANT.

Dear AKU

Do you like pizza?

NO.

YOU'RE DEFINITELY A HOMOSEXUAL.

I am the head scientist working on it, asshole.

The weevils are immune to pesticides and you've already threatened me with death if I fail to destroy them.

Deal with the root of the problem, which is your immigration policies.

I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED YOUR SISTER. YOU ARE WAY TOO... WHAT'S THE WORD? OH YES, UPTIGHT.

do you know someone named Mako

WHO ARE YOU?
I'D RATHER COVER MORE AREA AND DEVELOP IT LATER.
I KILLED ALL THE WOODCHUCKS, YOU IMBECILE.
A WHAT?
DO I NEED TO SEND YOU TO THE PIT OF HATE AGAIN? DO NOT DEFY ME.

Are you a screamer Aku?

at least we faced our opponents instead of sending them into the future after we've taken over

what you did seems quite cowardly to me

also your empire is terrible and needs more ruuuuus

Do you like Dwarf Fortress?

>tumblr filenames
>roleplaying
Holy fucking shit, Cred Forumsmblr is real.

How big is the Samurai's dick?

it's the one guy i think everyone's just going along with the shitposting

Aku can you call this user a fag?

THEN COME WORK FOR ME. BOTH OF YOU.

SEE IF YOU CAN DEAL WITH WITH SAMURAI ON YOUR OWN.
I MAKE PEOPLE SCREAM IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
I ENSLAVED ALL THE DWARFS 156 YEARS AGO.
WHAT IS THIS "Cred ForumsMBLR"? EXPLAIN YOURSELF YOU WORTHLESS LEECH.
THAT'S A SECRET EVEN I WOULDN'T SHARE.

Pizza is an old human made food made of baked dough, tomato sauce, and cheese.

I'm ordering some later and wanted to know if you would like to try some.

HMMMM.

VERY WELL.

>doesn't know pizza
>no sense of humor
>tumblr filenames
>can't spell
>can't even make me hear the lines in his voice

YOU ARE AN IMPOSTER
WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

what's your thoughts on autists on imageboards ?

OK what do you want on it?

Dear Aku, could you defeat Ben Tennyson?

SILENCE.
THEY'RE AUTISTIC.
SURPRISE ME.
I ALREADY DID.

Dear Aku,

I will help the Samurai

OK.

"Calls the pizza place"

It should be hear in 5 mins or else it's free.

Aku, O Deliverer of Darkness, Shogun of Sorrow and Masters of Masters, I implore you to heed my question in regards to deities that exist throughout the continents and galaxies:
"Do the more chaotic deities align with you when it is convenient for them? Or do you have them grovel first in order to work with you?"

Oh hey, it's that guy who'd rather rule universes over destroying them.

We're onto you, hoss.

1v1 Me Bitch
Right Here
Right Now

I'll teach you fear

What's your favorite kind of 'za? Personally I'm a mushrooms, peppers, and onions kinda guy, myself.

>a what
>breaking character this hard
Aku has ordered pizza on the show. After ruling over humans for centuries, he should know about all facets of human culture, and adopt what is necessary or pleasurable to him, including cuisine.

>Aku has ordered pizza on the show.
He ordered a bounty hunter you retard. That was the joke.

Why are you so cute?

I just have one question:
Who is going to voice you in the new season?

Dear Aku

Are you hyped to return in the new Samurai Jack show done by Adult Swim?

Will we able to see you in all your glorious evilness and see you do evil shenanigans on the titular samurai?

Aku, will i ever get the robot love slave i desire? If not, can i have a sexy alien bride instead?

Dear Aku i got a job for you.

Aku is your daughter legal yet?

>nobody drew a tentacle threesome between them yet
drawfags come on

I have a question of the utmost importance.

Which one?

Even so the rest of the point is completely valid.

It really isn't.

This is awful, why would anyone do this?
This is fucking worse than Bleedman

>Hanabi not top tier.

Explain why not.

>this is canon

What a fucking weird world.

Holy shit our disgusting deviantart shit is canon? I knew Dedede has stockholm syndrome for Dark Matter, can't wait until it's shown in one of the games.

Who is this ugly mortal and what are you doing on my board?

Aku do you even have any testicles

Why do you sound like an elderly Japanese man

You do realize you are being constantly cucked by the Gangrene boys right?

>my board
fuck off f/a/g