HELP! Someone help me!!!

HELP! Someone help me!!!

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He's got her! He's got her locked in a dungeon!

This sounds like a mystery, gang.

Storm a castle, kill a monster, and rescue a maiden? Sounds right up our alley! You have coin, right?

WHO?!

...

BELLE! We haven't a minute to lose!!!

They just take everything that's ours. We'll make them take it back.

I won't scatter your cheese dust to the heartless sea.

A tasty light, to our brothers in arms. Even in death.

Whoa! Slow down Maurice!

WHO'S got Belle Locked up in a Dungeon?

A BEAST! A HORRIBLE MONSTROUS BEAST!!!

Oh look, it's crazy old Maurice.

I assure you I have no idea what this man is talking about. If I have anyone locked away in the sub-basement, it is purely for recreational purposes.

That is to say, the activity in which we are partaking is of the purely consensual variety, despite appearances. She's... she's into that.

Crazy old maurice?

"CRAZY" old Maurice.

..............BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

AND ITS BIG, BLACK, AND ALSO'S FROM UNDER US? YEAH, RIGHT.

Crazy Old Maurice's daughter is a furfag? Holy penis, what a scoop! Put that on the front page! Where's Parker? I need pictures!

BONER

Did he have a gun?

Ask an actor who played Gaston anything. I'll give you my answer.

Alors, but master! BDSM is still too extreme for the average tavern-goer, he'll whip them into a French frenzy in no time!

how many eggs did you eat as a lad?

How many dicks did you suck to get the job?

Were you as incredibly thick as Gaston?

Were the hurricanes as great as Gaston?

...

The only way we're going to save Belle from that dungeon is by raping Gaston.

Too many. Not even kidding. I ate eggs at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I make great omelets.

You want me to say it, don't you? They always want me to say it.

Fine.

When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs ev'ry morning so I could get large. But now that I've grown, I eat FIVE dozen eggs, and I'm roughly the size of a BAAAAAAAARGE!

If the thread's still alive tomorrow, I'll sing this on a vocaroo.

One. And it was my own. None.

The line is "no one's neck is incredibly thick as Gaston's!"

Your queefs were.

youtube.com/watch?v=EDHr5IMFRUk

>None.
Why are you lying to me?

Because the last time I sucked a dick, I was raped repeatedly in High School.

And the director was an SJW. Yuck.

>I was raped repeatedly in High School.
Is that how you got the job?

I saw it! It was big! It was all wiggly! And it ate everything!

It was an
Alaskan
Bull
Worm!

Actually, now that I think of it...yeah. My director was sympathetic, no longer saw me as a douche, and casted me. Proably thought that I saw that white males are rapist--something far from true.

Like I said, the director was an SJW. He was weird. Not gonna work with him again.

Yeah that sounds like a thing that happened. I'm just going to assume you sucked five dicks to get the role.

Sounds kinky, can i join? Ill have to call my brother first to "save" me.

It was three...

Crazy old Maurice Hmmm?