Heroes For Hire v2 Storytime (Part 3)

Welcome back Anons! Sorry, but this is going to have to be a quick one!

I know I promised a long one the other day, but between my net only just NOW working, and general prior arrangements, I can really only do three issues for today, unfortunately.

Oh yeah, this happened.

I admit, I know as much about gorillas as I do about everything else (jack shit), but aren't gorillas pretty tough? Like, they wouldn't even register a bite from this guy?

>Shang-Chi tells them all to STFU so Orka can die peacefully

>Shang-Chi is going to stop with the calm

Uh oh...

>first blow takes Ruby Thursday's head clean off
>Second blow audibly cracks a dude's bones

Holy shit, angry Shang-Chi don't fuck around

Huh, okay, so I guess she's okay? Is this an ability she's been shown to have?

>and then he beats a gorilla down without getting touched

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So Shang-Chi cleared the entire room solo, and despite what all the blood on him would imply, he didn't even get touched.
I know this is supposed to be horrifying to see the hero snap like this, as implied by that second panel, but god damn, it's cool to see someone clean house like that.

oh yiss

So yeah, the Girl's Team (Misty Knight, Colleen Wing, Black Cat, and a new woman, "Tarantula") caught Man-Ape and Grim Reaper last issue. You can see the entire thing there, if you want to.

Welcome back, user.

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In case you're curious, Orka is still dead. He was last seen in Incredible Hercules, in the afterlife, trying to gamble his way out.
Weirdly enough, the Wasp was there too, only for Bendis to later reveal in his last Avengers run that he never killed her, presumably after he got bad press from killing off the Avenger's founding female member.

>the bad guy takes the time to talk shit about Humbug's body
>even taking the time to comment on being "horribly inadequate for carnal pleasure".

Going by this page and what we learned last time, they BOTH want the other.

>"I haven't had a date in months"

Misty and Danny's "off and on" status is, for the moment, "off". I was never able to see a source where they broke up between now and Heroes For Hire (assuming Daughters of the Dragon was just a random hook-up).

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A recap for those who missed the rest of the arc. Weirdly late in the issue, but whatever.

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Paladin, don't act smug. Shang-Chi just got finished half-murdering two guys, a woman, and a robot.

Awesome.

Didn't know there was so much H4H stuff. They really could make a rather long TV series.

>"One millions dollars. Each."

To explain the joke for you skimming, PALADIN was offered ten million for the job. With Misty, Colleen, Black Cat, Tarantula, Shang-Chi, Humbug, and him, that's only 8 million, so he's pocketing that last two million without telling anyone.

Fuck yes.

There's three series just called "Heroes For Hire". The latter two don't even have Luke and Danny in them, period. There's also a mini called "Villains For Hire", which was a sorta-sequel to the third Heroes For Hire series.

If you've been here from the beginning, there's a LOT of Luke and Danny stuff.

>that Colleen and Humbug scene in the background

So, I haven't been reading Moon Girl seriously (although apparently there's a Kree who's a fan of Mar-Vell as a villain), do they ever bother explaining what happened to Moon Boy?

I can only assume this is after Colleen trashed her car another few more times.

I guess these could count as supporting cast stories in the eventuality that they make H4H series.

Okay, so let's try and keep track of Tarantula's various talents. She's a boat-pilot, she's a biochemist skilled enough to reattach a man's head to his body without killing him, and she's practically a ninja. Did I miss anything?

you see the Marvel solicits?

Power Man and Iron First Sweet Christmas Special

They DO have Misty Knight as a main character, hence why I'm folding them into this.
Also, I was wrong, Danny DOES appear in the second one, but not Luke.

>Paladin still butthurt Shang cost him a massive payday

Do you think Shang will care as much if Paladin shoots flies that as bigger than him, who are also trying to eat him?

I forget, is it actually called that? Because that would be amazing.

>"Except for the fact that I smell like the sexiest monkey-woman in the world right now."
>suddenly surrounded by monkeys

I've seen enough filthy hentai to know where this is going.

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Huh, "king kong"? Is that what they're calling it now?

I guess she and Bob Diamond ended up breaking up. Bummer.

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Well, looks like Tarantula disagreed on that "but not slaughter" part.

So I haven't actually read much Shang-Chi (I've been too broke to get the Omnii), does he have any serious love interests?

It is

That's freaking great!

Welp, that can't be good.

Yeah, REALLY not good.

>they left only humbug's clothes

Wow, fucking dark.

Huh, seeing as how they both have their clothes on, I guess Shang-Chi and Tarantula DIDN'T do it.

All right Anons, we're gonna be finishing up with this issue for today.

>"Want you."
>"No running."
>"Ours now."

Does this seem rapey to anyone else?

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WTF WHY

>Colleen immediately develops an empathic bond with Moon-Boy, and starts ignoring Misty

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>"Maybe it was a friendly 'grrrr'."

If you're so sure Misty, how about YOU go check next time.

So yeah, her name is "Maria". I feel like it was mentioned at the grave scene in the first arc, but if not, here we are.

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>"These bandages are UNDER my costume..."
>You slimeball! You took my clothes off while I was asleep?!"

And instead of saying "don't flatter yourself" a better response would be "of course, because putting them OVER your clothes wouldn't help, and it may have actually made things worse."

This is the kind of shit you see in bad harem anime.

>"Hive-life traveling through the cosmos on dead-rock"
>"Hive-life falling on the earth-hive".

Wait, is this implying that all insects on Earth are aliens?

>"They create the green one."
>"the green one with the power to travel the cosmos."
>"the green one who returns with our ancestors."

So Devil Dinosaur is a female? Was that the case in the original Kirby series?

Okay, so going by this Devil Dinosaur IS a male, it just somehow had eggs... and even the characters are confused.

>"Tell everyone how you felt me up while I was unconscious!"

Felicia, seriously, you make it sound like he raped you. Fucker gave you proper first aid. It's not like you DON'T have a chest injury, after all.

Shang-Chi has had a rough day...

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So he can get his Shounen anime Power Up, user!

I really like that design.

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>this entire scene

If you want to see where Moon-boy ends up next, track down the Avengers: The Iniative series. He gets involved with Raptor.

>"Next Month: World War Hulk"

And we'll get event tomorrow Anons. For now, I have to go. See you then!

Damn I'm happy again

oh, the world war hulk tie-in will be fucked up.

Aw, I wanted that to be a surprise!

Where's Issues 4-7?

Damn, I forgot to add that one.