New Avengers Vol 1 Storytime (Part 8)

>Hey, I bought an airplane, that's something millionaires do right? I think I saw that online?

Defenders, Secret Defenders.

>"And Luke Cage..."
>"Used to be a satin-shirt metal-tiara wearing hero for hire, but now he went and turned himself into a husband and father and leader of a super-team that years ago he wouldn't be found dead on. And now he rarely speaks to his so-called ex-partner Iron Fist."

Bendis, just because you call attention to your shitty character "development" doesn't mean it is no longer shitty.

To be fair, that's literally the exact same logic he used when he bought a Yacht. "I'm rich, I'm told this is what rich people do."

Bendis insults and demeans everything that he didn't personally like as a child.

He didn't even get the fabric right on his shirt. Those suckers were SILK. CUSTOM MADE.

Secret Avengers was basically a black-ops team of Avengers, which didn't become a thing for a few years.
Secret Defenders was a 90's series that took place after the first Defenders series, which started as "Doctor Strange recruits whatever heroes he needs to solve a problem."
Then Thanos led a team for three issues.
And then Doctor Druid, and we read the first few of THOSE issues.

Honestly, I'd use that as the OP picture in every one of these threads if I didn't worry it would confuse people.

Okay, is that Clint claiming that Aliens first landed on Earth in the 30s?

Because he knows that's wrong.
He's met Eternals and Inhumans and they're both the result of alien visitation.
He's probably fought Fin Fang Foom, who is a thousands year old alien dragon who's been asleep under China for most of the last few thousand years.

Is there a story time of this?
Ultron is cool.

>"And you've never been dead before."

I haven't read much pre-Onslaught Avengers, but I get the feeling that whatever her excuse for her sort of death was, she was TECHNICALLY dead.

Can you imagine how absolutely magical it would've been if the ENTIRE team turned out to be Skrulls. It would be like that one /k/ story where a bunch of alphabet agents entrapped themselves in a government overthrow attempt.

Because Bendis, user.

I'm mostly avoiding the Mighty Avengers series because this is one of two instances where anything involved in it affects this book, and they tell you all you need to know in this book.

Sounds like fun.

That was Echo speaking, and she only JUST died getting turned into a Hand Ninja.

Jessica has almost definitely seen aliens before.

>"My Cloak won't work under these conditions."

Horseshit, I've seen the cloak of levitation save you in way worse.

>That was Echo speaking
It can't be, Echo was wearing black a few pages ago, and the character who said that was in red. That's the kind of shit even an ameatur editor should be able to catch.

Logan, was that a pretense to throw Jess out of a plane?

Oh, that's been called out as bullshit since this issue first came out.

>FUCK HOW DO I MAGIC IN AN AIRPLANE! I'M INEPT BECAUSE BENDIS IS WRITING! SAVE ME, LUKE CAGE! ONLY YOUR MANLY BLACK PECS CAN SAVE US!

Let's be honest, wouldn't you want to?

Echo is in black, she's sitting across from Jess, who is next to Clint, and you see a bit of Jess's shoulder.

That explains why he hasn't put on a shirt yet.
If this were old Luke, he'd be wearing a shirt at first, and the speed would somehow be shredding the shirt as they went down.
Yes, it's bullshit, but his clothes get damaged easier than a teenage girl in an anime.

>Wolverine landing on Doctor Strange

Remember, Adamantium skeleton means that despite being roughly five foot nothing, Logan's a heavy son of a bitch.

So is Logan supposed to be Berserk right now, or did Yu just forget to draw irises again?

>panel 6 has him with blue eyes

Yeah, he just forgot to draw them last time.

Yeah Jess, don't bother to check and see if everyone's okay, just take the damn alien and fuck off.

Bitch.

And now Bendis writes The Hood. I apologize for everyone who saw and liked that mini.

Getting punched by him should be much more fatal than it's typically depicted as. Like beating someone with an indestructible metal bat wrapped in flank steak.

There's no character Bendis can't ruin! Not one!

Like I said, I never read much pre-Onslaught Avengers, did the line-up of "Cap's Kooky Quartet, also Janet and some version of Pym" exist?

I guess we're skipping the panel where Quicksilver laughs at Hawkeye for getting his ass kicked, and then makes fun of him.

It's Bendis. Don't dare you thinking about Clint doing cool stuff. In his head he's dumb and useless, remember.

But let's take it as him meaning recently, because they're talking about covering aliens to the media and the general public. Which wouldn't be an issue in the case of prehistoric stuff because it doesn't have a big impact in the current matters of the world.

I have the Avengers Membership by issue chart on my computer, but can't look for it now- gotta get back to work.

Will find it when I get home.
I think yes, though.
Like, this is the next lineup past Kooky Quartet, I think.

>this whole scene on TV

Yeah, so Ultron took over Tony's Extremis, which he then used to transform Tony Stark's body into a naked Janet Van Dyne.

I honestly have no idea if that weirdness was Bendis's idea of Cho's, it's just stupid enough that it could be either.

I kinda like Steve playing at being the Avengers' Drill instructor.

>"Spider-Woman was the Skrull."
>"She wasn't."

I like to think that when the truth was revealed, Danny mocked Wolverine relentlessly for about a week.

And yes, that's supposed to be Danny.

Dammit

I guess you can assume he's holding back when he punches people. It makes a bit more sense because when he's actually fighting someone seriously, he's usually TRYING to kill them as shown with the fucking claws.

Who do you think actually told Echo that her job for this was to dress up in a bra and bathrobe, and distract the staff? I figure that would be an awkward discussion to start.

It was probably her idea. Echo's a freak like that.

>The Wizard stuttering at this at the Owl

Seriously, does nobody even bother telling Bendis who the people he picks are? Wizard is probably just below Doom in terms of Fantastic Four villains (assuming you don't count Galactus as a villain).

...

I'd put Annihilus over Wizard.

Also his plan to not get shot is kinda shit.

I wannafuck Echo

>"There's bounties on all your heads. After the auction, I'll lift them."
>"It's not like there's already bounties on you for being known super criminals."

Which of course, completely contradicts the start of this arc. The Ultron story established that it was the Might Avengers' first mission together, in fact, Ares had been recruited only hours prior. Yet here in New Avengers, the MA face the NA before that could have possibly have happened.
And of course, Bendis wrote both books. Bravo.

Bendis keeps treating the Wizard as some loser B-Lister for some reason. The Wizard would NEVER debase himself to working for Lucia Von Bardas or The Hood. He's too egotistic, he's only in the Intelligencia because technically nobody is in charge.

So, Funny story. My scan of this issue randomly has this two-page spread blank.
I've checked my trade, and it's not the case there.

This is fucking BULLSHIT. Skrulls are an accepted fact in the Marvel Universe, in fact there have been MULTIPLE cases of public Skrull revelations and mass hysteria. Like that Senator during the Kree-Skrull War. Or that time in Waid's Cap run where Hydra used Skrull hysteria to cause chaos all over America, just by revealing 2 Skrulls, they hadn't infiltrated anything. Not to mention the Dire Wraiths.
The government doesn't bother covering it up anymore, they'll in fact use it to fearmonger.

Bendis thinks too much in "real world" terms, forgetting that he is NOT writing the real world.

AND I CAN'T FIND THE FREAKING PAGE ANYWHERE ELSE

Okay, so page 11 is a double-page spread of the Hood suddenly appearing above the Owl and shooting him.

>"There's no bounty on your head. There's no contracts out on you."

No wonder that plan was shit, it was a bluff.

Funny how we've known about Echo for a while, and this page is the first instance Bendis has acknowledged that she's deaf.

Maybe you can take a photo.

The Hood really sucks at shooting people, since The Owl was fine after staying in the hospital a couple of months.

Also, HOW THE FUCK WAS THE OWL RELEASED FROM JAIL?

Bendis "needed" a character to fill his "super-villain Kingpin" role, and for some reason he latched onto the Hood even though he proceeded to ignore everything that made The Hood interesting in the first place.

Parole.

The Hood was interesting?

Ronin Clint is hot.

>this entire bottom half of the page

I guess Bendis really thought "Hawkeye is lame, what kind of superhero shoots arrows? You know what's cool? Ninjas!"

Guys like The Owl don't get parole. And even if they did, it would take years, decades even, and The Owl couldn't have possibly been in jail more than a couple of months.
Not to mention, The Owl is a superhuman, so with the SHRA they could keep him in jail indefinetly if they felt like it.

It's funny that even if Clint wasn't deaf at the time, he certainly is now and was before.

The Hood is one of the most bullied villains by bad characterization in the pàst years, I think. I mean, it wasn't just Bendis, I... think. 'm not so sure now.

So The Hood's brilliant plan for running the underworld is sending his cousin to tell people "this wasn't authorized by The Hood, even though you've never heard of the Hood. You must obey The Hood now!"
Brilliant plan.

Eh, it'll work. Straight from my crappy phone. Okay, so between and was this double-page spread

>That cycle of family hell ends with us
Man, Jessica really hates cars

And now, back to what should've been after

But silly user, he always is.

At least he had the actuall background to pull a convincing ninja.

I mean, minus the part of him being flashy, boastful and liking colourful stuff.

Remember, Bendis has written Daredevil, so he should know the kind of shit the Owl used to do.

Thanks a bunch, user.

I gotta say, in hindsight it's kind of weird that seeing ONE Skrull infiltrator in The Hand makes them automatically assume there's Skrull infilitration everywhere, even their own team. This isn't the first time they've encountered Skrull impostors, Wolverine himself was replaced by a Skrull once.
They're jumping to conclusions is all I'm saying.

Man, Bendis REALLY thinks people are invested in Jessica Jones, huh? Then again, him and Gaydos are getting ANOTHER series, so some things never change.

Yeah, they easily could have just said "he just escaped from prison yesterday" and nothing would have changed.

Really Logan, not even gonna bother to change out of your bright yellow costume with the X belt?

Being released is lamer somehow. Fucking loser actually paid his debt to society, like a bitch.

Continuing from here After seeing one Skrull infiltrated in the Japanese underworld, suddenly Luke Cage suspects that the Skrulls would bother replacing his wife.

Remember the time some black guys in Harlem were secretly Latverian robots? I guess that means Doctor Doom is planning an invasion, and not just some rogue robots.

...

So the way the Hood plot and the New Avengers plot interact is because Wolverine randomly walks into a bar where the Hood happens to be at. Such great writing.

Sad thing is, Bendis probably thought this line was badass.

Someone was talking about a double-page spread from this issue a few months ago. Now you'll see the context.

>I heard that Sentry guy just flies stuff into the sun
Is this the first time this joke was made?

Worst part is, he wasn't even looking for a villain who WAS there. Fucker just wanted to get drunk.

YOU YOU!

Is that grammatically right in English? Shouldn't be more like "I'm sure it's you who smells"? Is is some kind of slangy speak? Or is my English just plain bad and I'm wrong?

Wolverine has enhanced senses and a proclivity to blow off steam by getting into fights. It's entirely possible he went trawling around for small timers to beat on and landed The Hood instead.

He's only deaf in the one ear. And it's less that he wasn't before, so much as nobody remembered he was, until Fraction made the point that he got stabbed through the ear in his book, and he's got a tendency of writing "the only book about this character anybody ever reads."

Much like how some people only read Immortal Iron Fist, and then act like they know all about Iron Fist.

It'd probably be better if he said something like "You're probably smelling yourself."

A more correct sentence would be "I'm sure that's you that you smell".

So I haven't read the Hood comic in a while, but Bendis started THIS whole thing. Gave him a massive power boost, as well as giving his hood a definitive origin.
Originally he just turned invisible and could walk on air (or up walls, I forget).

As much as Bendis wanted to make him the Kingpin... he's really not.

And of course, him beating up Wolverine was Bendis going "LOOK! LOOK AT HOW BADASS AND COOL THE HOOD IS! HE'S FOR SERIOUS YO!"

To be fair, I feel that that might have been the point. The Hood's reign doesn't end well, he ends up being quite pathetic.

>Strange randomly banging the night nurse

Remember, Bendis had Clea go back to the Dark Dimension off-panel in his Illuminati mini.

Also, good lord those eyes in the bottom panel horrify me.

Hum... I don't know. I think he's deaf in both ears now. The architect guy stabbed both, and iirc, it's written in his medical report.

Fraction retconned him into being partially deaf since childhood.

I guess it's inconvenient to have a deaf guy running there playing hero with no powers. I cannot blame writers on forgetting those details. But as someone with very bad eyesight, I think it makes him even more badass.

Which he is. He is, even when he's blinded. I guess I'm not the only one who likes that trope.

user, it's Wolverine. He's been the X-Men's jobber for decades.

It's not that random, it's sort of a follow-up to Dr. Strange: The Oath, which was recent at the time.

Looks like Echo agrees.

I know, but Bendis' intentions couldn't have been more obvious. In a later issue, The Hood brings up his fight with Wolverine and another character says "that's pretty badass". Just because we laugh at it doesn't mean he didn't think he was portraying the Hood as an uber-badass top-tier threat that can take on Wolverine and nothing personel kids The Owl.

Oh, I see. Thanks.

I guess Bendis isn't the best writer out there to improve my language skills, is he?

>this casual reference to the opening arc of Immortal Iron Fist

We'll actually read that after Siege, because it doesn't tie in to anything else, but in case you want to know when that series takes place, it starts here.

>I guess Bendis isn't the best writer out there to improve my language skills, is he?

I guess his habit of Kojima-like repeating may have been helpful if it were spoken?

>Hawkeye cracking jokes about being married

So Bendis knew about Mockingbird at this point. I can only assume that means he knows she's been dead for years.

>this long description of the spell

So yeah, Bendis waited THIS long to reveal that they named the damn kid.

That made me have a long laugh. Thanks a ton, user.

Yes, exactly. If it were spoken, it may have-- I mean, It would have been helpful. Maybe.

>Btw, how come I wasn't invited to your wedding?

And THIS is how Bendis thinks all of these characters are. Thoughts, everyone?

B-But he was taking the photos!

>"Anybody know who The Hood is?"
>"Yeah I know that guy."

For once, Bendis has a character acknowledge they know something about another one!

See, you know that, and I know that, but sometimes I don't think Bendis does.

I don't get the Danny one.
Luke,Strange and Peter are cheap.
The other ones are alright, I guess.

>Luke's tiara is upside down, other than that, sure
>Danny's is OK I guess
>Jessica Jones' seems odd given what Bendis himself has written
>Peter's is weird, he was an edgy loner before he was Spider-Man
>I don't know enough about Echo to comment
>Clint's is understandable at this point in time
>Dr. Strange was an asshole before he became a sorceror, so also weird
>I guess Wolverine does aspire to be an honorable samurai, he just sucks at it

It means he's Iron Fist, because that's probably all Bendis knows about him.

Okay, so this shit I may actually have to actually post Mighty Avengers to explain.

>For once, Bendis has a character acknowledge they know something about another one!
I know, I was shocked too, especially since Peter didn't follow-up with exposition about The Hood, which is usually the only reason he'll have characters know things, to tell stuff to characters that don't know things.

Okay, time for a detour.

>I was snooping for Skrulls
Stop lying Logan, you just wanted beer and got really really lucky

So this takes place right after

...

It wasn't a nightmare Peter, you were just remembering Planet of the Symbiotes (the 90s clone saga story, not the Bendis one), where the exact same thing happened in New York.

Oh, right. I feel like an idiot for not realizing.
I guess that put him in my cheap tier list.

>Jessica tells him to shut his armor down
>He instead starts recording

I mean, it's the SMART thing to do, but also kind of a dick move. So it makes perfect sense for post Civil War Tony.

GOD DAMN IT BENDIS, STOP SAYING SKRULLY!

I still can't believe they didn't make him change the name of that story.
Then again, they let Bendis name an event "Secret War" when Marvel previously did no less than two stories called "Secret Wars" so I guess nobody tells Bendis what to do.

At least Bendis realizes that Civil War would've never happened if Nick Fury were in charge.

>"If there's a Skrull on my team right now, they will react."

If you've read Secret Invasion, you know how this plan goes.

I'm sold on pretty much all of these. Especially Clint wanting to be like Cap.

>At least Bendis realizes that Civil War would've never happened if Nick Fury were in charge.
Actually, it would have. Mark Millar's original outline had Nick Fury in it, and he was on the Pro-Reg side.

Now, I want to remind you that this guy teaches about writing in some college according to Wikipedia.

Funnily enough, first thing Tony did when he woke up in the hospital bed and they told him what happened, was check under the sheets to make sure his junk was still there.

For some reason, Bendis gave people thought bubbles in this series.

>You have been the very first Avengers HAND-PICKED to represent the best we have to offer
I'm 99% sure that's not true. I believe lots of Avengers rosters have been hand-picked.

This seems unethical.

So who's safehouses did the anti-reg side use?

I feel like this reveal would've been better in the next issue. Or better yet, at the start of the issue, and reveal why she's there in a flashback.

>So who's safehouses did the anti-reg side use?
Hell if I know, it was just an outline. It's the one where instead of Stamford, Speedball is stopping an armed robbery, and a stray bullet kills Happy Hogan's then non-existent infant son. I think one day I'll do a thread and just post the whole thing for all to see how bad it could have been.

I think Bendis genuinely thinks that every Avengers team formed out of people who just happened to be there.

hey it's bendis tries thought balloons!

i forgot bagley did some might avengers

>"These are the same costume designs you showed Luke Cage."

She's right too. End of the Pulse, right before Jessica went into labor.

He started right after Cho left.

It's weird that Black Widow of all people is so butthurt about this.

...

Jan should know Simon's history of horrible horrible costumes and just be happy he looks normal.

>object from orbit lands on a bus
Bounces off the bus without any structural damage

>Tense moment over Jessic Drew joining, Wasp is mad
>Suddenly scene where Wasp randomly brings a bunch of models in to convince Wonder Man to get a new outfit
These scenes don't belong side-by-side like this.

>Symbiote baby

I'm certain it's true of the very first iteration. Shit went done, a buncha Superheroes went to ground zero, stopped the nonsense from getting out of hand and joined forces or some shit like that.

Remember what said.
I fear for those students.

Fun fact: even though the implication here is obviously that the Skrulls are behind this, years later a different writer revealed that it was actually Kristoff Vernard in a nice bit of continuity welding.

Also, notice NONE of them have the spider on them.

i had always assumed this image was from a random What If... or something

Spoilers: There's TWO Skrulls

>Also, notice NONE of them have the spider on them.
Why would they?

Read Bendis's Planet of the Symbiotes. He apparently forgot that they don't have them by default.

And now we start back at

That might not be Bendis' fault though, it could be the artist's.

And since I don't think New Avengers says how exactly they solve this, I'll do the next issue.

Bob is all "Eh. Fair cop."

Remember this scene for Secret Invasion

...

Wait, hadn't Wasp already gained the abilty to grow giant before? I mean, I know it was Chuck Austen, but ut still happened.

>"There's clothes on some of them!"

Maybe my eyes are just bad, do any of you see clothes?

Or even the editors, who should've noticed it.
Or maybe they did notice, but go with it because with the spider, the average reader have it easier to identify them as what they're, connecting them with Venom.
I'm not very much into modern Spiderman, and to be honest, I don't know shit about symbiotes. But that's something I can guess.

Janet pls

I only read Busiek's Avengers, before moving on to a different series, but there is at least one frequently passed along page where Giant Janet falls on someone's fence and says hi to a random kid.

...

Okay, so Tony is sealed in his armor, Simon is all enegy, Sentry is too strong, and Ares is a god.
The fuck is keeping Carol safe?

>Carol genuinely seems to think Luke Cage has any idea what's going on

kree energy bullshit? or a dropped plotline

>The fuck is keeping Carol safe?
She's invulnerable and tastes plain nasty.

>top panel

So yeah, why the New Avengers even had an issue in this is beyond me, given they don't actually do anything.

>Majority of the team is chicks
Why.

Because Cho was the first artist, and he's a dirty, dirty man.

All I wanna do
Is see you turn into
A Giant Venom
A Giant Venom!

...

>Dr Strange gets taken
I call bullshit. Fucking Bendis, why put him on the team at all?

By the way, they DO mention why Luke isn't effected in New Avengers. It's a shitty explanation, but it's an explanation.

These arcs were when I jumped on the wider marvel universe (outside of spider-man)
I guess i get why people say it's shit, but I still have a pretty big soft spot for 2007-2010 me avengers/secret invasion/dark reign

>Mephistourich435DFG
>Mephisto U Rich 435 DFG

What?

>Sentry knocks giant Venom into a building
>causes massive damage

And because of the SHRA, Tony is totally going to foot the bill for repairs, right?

Same

You'd think the file would mention the Symbiote's weakness to SOUND and FIRE.

Same raising Carol isn't. Invulnerable. probably because it's transmitted via bites.

Just remember to try reading some classic stuff. Personally, I think the 70's was one of Marvel's golden periods. 80's was good for comics in general, going by what little I've read.

It isn't his invulnerability, they mention something specific.

I'm that first guy, I can't stand Bendis now so that's something I guess. I feel like my taste didn't improve so much as he got lazier though.

...

Again, weird how Tony had to find an "antidote" instead of just blasting a super boom box all across New York. They forgot about the weakness entirely.

At least SOMEONE is noticing that Clint Barton is just randomly there.

Scenes like this make me wonder if post-CW2 Carol is going to get put-downs like this.

Just as well, with how many symbiotes there are out and about, you'd probably have to raise it to an amplitude that could really put the hurt on the people inside them. Not to mention, deafen most of New York.

>"I can see your butt."

I REALLY hope that's the kid saying that, and not Spidey being weird.

I already told you Peter, you didn't dream it, it actually happened. It ended with Eddie Brock getting all the symbiotes to commit suicide or something.

Surprised Natasha didnt say anything about him.

Please don't keep mentioning that, otherwise we'll get that one guy to post Linkara again.

And we won't be posting the next issues of Mighty Avengers. If you want to read it, I'm sure you can find it easily enough, it's worth it for all the wrong reasons.

>fat_piece_of_furniture.jpg

I'm a pervert. Does that mean if I work hard I can have an Avengers team that is >80% female?

Well, Tony is ALREADY blaming both the deaths of Jim Rhodes and Bruce Banner on her even though they're not actually her fault.

And now, back to New Avengers.

Warning: This cover is a lie

A closer shot of Jigsaw than anyone has EVER wanted.

>it's a Bendis writing Tigra issue

>Jigsaw just robbing a random safe in some dingy place by himself.
Really? Bendis doesn't have much respect for B-List villains, does he? Always has them be pathetic.

Tigra, shit like this is why you should wear more clothes. It would give you POCKETS to hold that card.
Maybe wear a 90's belt of pouches.

She would overheat from that.

>that top panel
>"I know!."
>"You know.
>"I know NOW."

Pure Bendis-speak.

Further proof, why does Bendis love demeaning and making villains pathetic losers?

Feline Lives Matter

I haven't read a lot of Punisher but isn't Jigsaw like a crime boss or something? Not cheap thug?

I've read three Punisher issues in my life, and posted all three. I'm pretty sure that's his deal.

So, why can't Tigra chase after him? Even if he hides in garbage, she can still smell him.

Exactly, and you'll see a lot more of that this issue

>The Crusader
Um Bendis, he's one of the LAST guys who'd show up for a super-villain meeting, he's a religious nutjob that hates those he considers evil.

>fucking Chemistro in the corner

Bendis, why do you even like Luke Cage if you don't do anything with his villains?

I thought Nitro was in Namor's rape dungeon at the time, since the US government and public didn't give a fuck about him even though he's the one that actually blew up Stamford.

Didn't Chemistro go straight after losing his leg?

You spoke to soon user, Chemistro is actually one of the few villains here who actually do something.

Either that or in Doom's sex dungeon.

You know, the basic set-up for this isn't that bad. It's the execution that fails. Especially since there's no way many of these guys would ever work for a guy like The Hood, especially since they'd never heard of him.
Other writers actually used The Hood and his gang much better than Bendis.

So, Hood's trying to control the crime the way Tony is trying to control the crime fighting?

I need to lie down.

There's at least THREE different Chemistros, because that guy kept making new guns. Luke kept getting mad every time.

Why is the Purple Man there? You'd think Bendis would know better.

Yeah, One lost his leg, went straight, another I think died, and I assume it's the third one here, but this we're talking about Bendis writing B-List baddies.

Motherfucker thought the Third Foolkiller had a grudge with Spiderman. They never so much as met, and he was never arrested anyway.

I'm REALLY hoping that's just a random purple guy who I can't think of. Dude doesn't take orders well, as Bendis knows.

Spoiler alert: other than beating up Tigra, they do not implement this plan in any way. No hero or their relatives are ever targeted again.
Granted, they do end up taking over the Initiative, but that's because Osborn was controlling them, not the other way around.

>"When will you stop self-descructing?"

Wait, so that IS supposed to be Nitro? I really hope he's being metaphorical.

That's not Nitro, it's Blackout, a Ghost Rider villain. The Hood even says his name.
Nitro is somewhere else in the room, and he is seen with the Hood gang in other appearances.

>Other writers actually used X much better than Bendis.

Sounds about right.

>And I found out where you guys live
Um, how DID he find out where all of these villains live?

Hood, I really hope you're not offering to kill Frank's family.

Is this supposed to be her using an image inducer, or is the necklace magic?

Most of these guys shouldn't be impressed by 25K because most of these guys are dangerous established villains who have made a lot more than that on their own.
But of course, Bendis portrays them as directionless and pathetic losers with almost no individuality.

Why not? It is free money since you just shoot some graves.

Remember this scene, Anons. Between this and his shit with Carol, I'm amazed people didn't eat Bendis alive for how he writes women.

Actually, The Hood ended up RESURRECTING Frank's family as part of his plan against Frank. Frank burned them alive with a flamethrower right after the ritual.

And when I say "his shit with Carol" I don't mean Civil War 2, I mean the Mighty Avengers scene.

Magic amulet. When she wears it, she can be human again, since her tiger form is her default.

So am I a bad person, or does Jigsaw look like he's gonna masturbate to this video?

You're not a bad person, you've just read enough about Jigsaw to know that he's that kind of guy.

>"I'm Curtis Carr."

THE FUCK?! HE'S THE ONE WHO WENT GOOD! AND LOST A DAMN LEG!

Oh wow, he really did have that scene.

I told you Chemistro would be one of the few villains who would actually do something. I did however forget to warn you about Bendis ignoring continuity again.

What did they do wrong Punisher?

You got me user, I wasn't prepared for that kind of shit. If he picked Calvin Carr, or the other one, I probably wouldn't have cared. Fuck, if he didn't outright say a name, I wouldn't have cared either.
Fuckin' Bendis.

Something somethin

Why did they even need the Deathlok? The Wrecking Crew could have just stolen this bank by themselves, or with the help of some of the guys in the Hood Gang.

...

Something something they're not real something something my family died years ago.

Because making the cyborg that struggles against his programming to not be a killing machine into a tool is funny.

Okay Anons, I'm gonna have to go and leave this story half finished. If this thread is still up tonight, I'll do the rest of this 7-parter.
Yeah, it's that damn long.

this venom thing is like a huge mini event and i'd totally forgotten about it

>Grand opportunity
What did he mean by this? He didn't actually take advantage of this "opportunity" at all, he didn't benefit from the Venom attack in any way, he made no money.

Can you imagine how awesome this would be if Curtis was trying to infiltrate Hood's little clubhouse to bring it down from within?

Probably isn't what's happening, but god it'd be great.

Why does Mamma Mask get a seat around the table? She sucks.

She's one of the few villains in the Hood's gang that Bendis actually gives a damn about. Everyone else is just Interchangeable generic villain underling.

Why does everyone treat Blackout as a chump? Slott did it in Superior too. The guy used to antagonize Ghost Rider for fun and tell him that he got his sister killed. He's not exactly a pushover.

He wasn't treated like a chump in Superior at all. He was treated like a dangerous psycho that doesn't mess around, they even had SpOck ask Ghost Rider about the sister thing. Sure, SpOck defeated and then tortured him, but that doesn't make him a chump, he did almost kill Aunt May and shit.

It's the way the torture went with SpOck pulling out each of his teeth and making him cry then promise never to go near Aunt May or Pete again. It just didn't sit right with me.

We stopped in the middle of the plot, so who knows what they do.

I already read this arc, I know for a fact that he doesn't take advantage of the Venom bomb at all.

But she has no powers and isn't even a great marksman compared other "just shoot them" baddies.

Man fuck this issue....but it did produce some decent porn

Bendis doesn't care about power levels, to him someone with guns is on the same level as anyone.

Power Levels barely matter in conflicts. Popularity is more effective, with heroic characters usually beating the evil one of the same level unless it is part of a larger arc.

funny. I'd read it.

another idea: everyone belongs to hydra and everything is a secret branch of hydra.

Even better. One's a Skrull, one's a Dire Wraith, one's a Space Phantom, one's an LMD, one's a Hydra agent, one's a Hydra agent from a different splinter cell and one's Mystique.

Dire Wraith is unusable and LMD are people too.

...

Why is Madame Maque getting a cut? She didn't do anything.

Okay, well, I can't find the pic I was talking about here. Sorry.

Bendis is incapable of adjusting his real world view of characters to actually fit the characters as they are presented in their own universe.

He's also shit at writing characters generallly- Everyone always sounds the same- but he also writes characters he doesn't personally like as disposable extras.

He is probably the worst choice you could ever have to run a shared universe's narrative.

>Dire Wraith is unusable

What?

Oh, no. A gun, to Wolverine's head. He is doom-ed.

>And it's less that he wasn't before

Actually, seeing as how it never came up again after Onslaught, I think his hearing was healed by Heroes Reborn.
He wasn't deaf in McCann's run when he started to go blind.

>It's amazing to me that you brought them all into your home

Bitch please. The Defenders spent years working out of his house. There's probably still Hulk shaped indents in the damn couch.

Another thing about Bendis that shows how much he drags the real world into comics, unnecessarily? Bendis's Peter Parker never shuts up about clones, because herp derp gotta make fun of the Clone Saga.

Wait, why the hell do they know Deathlok as Luther Manning and not Michael Collins, who had a much longer run as a Deathlok in the universe they're actually in, and not some crazy dystopian future like Luther Manning?

Yeah but this is the first time it was done from the wide roster of the entire SHRA!
Which is why it includes exactly ONE non-returning member. Who is a guy they used to fight.

Busiek spent an entire issue after the whole Camelot World-every Avenger Ever arc having the team leadership hand pick the team.

I feel like Jan, Lady of 1003 Costumes, would not stoop to reusing the same designs on two different people.

>Who...?
>Who is he?
>The Who?
>Who is he?

Fucking hell.

The matching team Avengers leather jackets from the earlier 90s were a better look.

Because he popped in this universe a couple times.
Also is cooler.

Oh, hey, I guess LOST had premiered by this point.

Yeah, I think Geoff Johns actually gave her the power up, but it was used pretty prominently in Austen's run.

Do NONE of these people know about Venom or Carnage?

Bendis wrote Strange as worthlessly inept at this point.

Yeah, if you're gonna hate THOR for reigniting paganism, you are sure as hell not gonna want to hang out with The Griffin.

Also, the Owl seems to be there, not dead.

And other villains that make a bit more sense as the mastermind behind this kind of plan, like Crossfire or Deathwatch.

Also, I think Armadillo had already been established as being in the Texas or Arizona Initiative team before this even came out?

Wait a second, that's fucking Foolkiller!

Why the hell isn't he killing all these fucking fools!?

Blackout isn't really a money kind of guy, though.

He's a deranged half demon serial killer vampire hobo.

this is the actually angriest I've been at bendis

It's honestly like he just flipped through the OHOTMU and picked out designs he liked without reading any of their actual backstories.

Bendis is a GOOD writer for women, right guys? I mean how could the creator of feminist icon Jessica Jones not be?

>The Wrecking Crew could have just stolen this bank by themselves

I know that you mean they could have robbed it.... but they probably ARE strong enough, collectively, to just pick up the entire bank and leave with it, Carmen Sandiego style.

As was brought up by Paladin in Heroes for Hire- Why the fuck does Chemistro need to rob a bank?
Just fucking turn random shit into gold and flip it at pawn shops.

>Dire Wraith is unusable

No, they can still use them. Heck, they were part of Hickman's whole Universal Inhumans thing even though why the fuck would the Kree experiment on Skrull Offshoots as potential recruits.

Essentially the only Rom thing Marvel CAN'T use is Rom himself.
Everything else, basically, is all Mantlo.

So how come IDW ROM uses them?

>Danny Partridge.

Fucken dyin here.

>>Dr. Strange was an asshole before he became a sorceror, so also weird

Life was less complicated when he was just a doctor.

This style ain't for capes; mystery, crime drama, spy, war, maybe horror, yes, but for capes, no.

Maybe that's Mr. Hyde, and not The Owl.

They didn't get the memo?

No idea, but Marvel used them as recently as Annihilators.

Because Dire Wraiths was mentioned on the box of the original toy. But it wasn't trademarked or anything.

So both companies can use Dire Wraiths, but they have to be different Dire Wraiths.

Bendis does not LIVE A POEM

And as proof that assassin I hired is shit at his job, he hasn't died a fool.

When does the Bendis end

When my assassin makes him die like a fool, user.

From where we are now?

Like, 4 or 5 more years of Newvengers and Darkvengers and associated events? And then starts up again with the fucking Jessica Jones crap in the more immediate present.

...

And let's try and finish up this arc!

>Why did they let a Wolverapist on the Avengers?

>Doctor Strange gets taken off-panel

So yeah, gist of the page is the same, although he can't even be bothered to make sure the text is the same.

So going by this first panel, it looks like the only reason Luke wasn't posessed was because his unbreakable skin means they can't get into his pores.
Which sounds like bullshit because worst case scenario, they'd go in through his eyes or mouth.

Also, I'm no doctor, but I feel like if they can't get IN his pores, it means he can't get sweat OUT from his pores, which sounds like it would kill him.

Cage's theme is out: youtube.com/watch?v=FJUYlCnCwi0

It's okay. Could be funkier.
I know rap's the hot shit and all, but honestly, I'd have been down for just a Curtis Mayfield track.

If Luke's pores don't work, would he just fucking die, though?

>giant Jan has to hold her top on

Like I said, pretty sure that would freaking kill him.

Eh, 70's stuff would get laughed at now, no matter how much Luke Cage deserves it.

>"You're the private eye. You should be working on it MORE than us."

Sometimes I think Bendis forgets that Jessica was a fucking PI. You'd think that would come up more.

>"Logan's having words with her."
>"Words of claws?"

Given it's Wolverine, that's a legit question.

>"In one hour, we're invading Latveria."

So this issue is taking place before the last page of that Mighty Avengers thread.

>Logan gets her in the shower
>Logan is somehow almost as tall as her

So either Jessica Drew is freaking TINY, or Bendis has no idea that Wolverine is.

...

Well, he IS Huge Jackedman nowadays.

Maybe Drew is just stunty too?

>"Hey Widow. How's the bod?"

God damn it Wolverine, I get she's a redhead, but keep it in your pants!

God, this dialogue is so Bendisy. It's like someone trying to write like Joss Whedon and then not realizing that it doesn't work nearly as well in text form.

She's lucky he didn't fuck her back when they first met in WW2, when she was a kid.

...

Wait, what? I know Widow's a old, but she's THAT old?

>"That's the Wrecking Crew. That ain't small potatoes."

I think this is the first time someone's taken the Wrecking Crew seriously in years.

So yeah, most of this issue takes place before last issue. Cage literally knocks their wall in a second after the last panel.

>They got everyone from Howard the Duck to the fucking Silver Surfer

Fucking hell, I know the Wrecking Crew is treated less seriously than their power would imply, but fucking hell, they aren't THIS strong!

...

Yup.
comicvine.gamespot.com/the-uncanny-x-men-268-madripoor-knights/4000-33256/

>that technicolor holo when he punches Thor

Okay, THAT makes a lot more sense.

Honestly, now that Thor's alive again, they could really just leave it to him, he's been soloing them for about as long as they've existed.

Well I'll be damned. So Widow is genuinely old enough to have met Captain America and watched him punch Hitler in the face?

Yu does not draw the Wrecker as brickish as I'd like.

Him having like, a defined neck kinda goes against his character?

...

>"This isn't just Spider-Man you're getting spanked by, this is Black-Costumed Spidey."

Bendis, it isn't the Black Costume that people like, it's the fact that he's quiet that makes people brown their pants.
Quipping black-costume Spidey isn't the same.

...

>"Hey Fist, that's your move. Smashing the floor."
>"I did that a total of ONCE."

I feel like he didn't even do that a lot in the older stories, so Bendis is just making this up for his own bad joke.

>"I just want to go!"

Okay Anons, correct me if I'm wrong, but Wizard probably has a teleporter, right? Or at least the kind of forcefield tech that could let him literally float out through the hole Cage just made, UNTOUCHED?

>Doctor Strange soloing the magic guy

You know, if we saw Hood doing more damage during the fight, this would probably be pretty badass. You know, playing it as "he's the only one who can beat him".

>Ronin fucking stabbing a guy in the back
>"Agh! You pain in the ass!"

And of COURSE Bendis has to get Luke involved in the Doctor Strange fight.

Bendis doesn't understand that his opinions are not necessarily the characters opinions.

I have no idea why my version of this linked these as one page.

Well, his most iconic tech is antigravity disks. So he could yes, just fly out of the hole, away from this fight.

>Wolverine Snikts a guy just above the crotch
>Danny then punches the guy in the same damn place

Not as impressive as the time he punched an arrow into Piledriver during Secret Wars.

Well I know he can fly, but I was referring to the fact that he could probably just get out without being touched, instead of sticking around for no reason.

>"What was that? Was that Skrully?"

The sad thing is? I have no idea who that was. PRETTY sure it was Spidey, but Bendis writes everyone basically the same.

When was the last time Spidey signed a crook he captured?

Holy shit how much damage do these bad guys tank?

Well three of them are guys who regularly fight Thor.

That entire fight, and neither Luke nor Danny even SPOKE to Chemistro, even though they were more or less friends by the time he de-glassed Colleen.

Good news SHIELD guys, you don't have to have Sloppy Joes!

>"I told you things are different now. My guys don't sit in jail."

How the fuck did you even get into this SHIELD base alone?

Seriously, I genuinely don't get why Bendis even likes Luke Cage if he never does anything with him. He writes him completely out of character, doesn't use any of his villains, and even changes his look entirely.
If he wanted to write a black guy, I'm sure there's less obscure Black Guys he could've used.

Magic.

And let's leave off with this for the night.

>No one cared who he was, til he put on the Hood.

>all these characters

And probably they'll ALL be written like shit.

>"Intel believes the cloaking was mystical in nature, which puts us at a disadvantage."

Huh, was right.

>this entire scene

And SOMEHOW people think Bendis can write women. How the twits from Tumblr haven't eaten him alive for this is a mystery for the fucking ages.

Actually, probably not. At least, not powerhouses.

I mean, Black Panther and Falcon probably both had an edge on him, but they're both human strength agility fighters (basically)
There is the Michael Collins Deathlok, but he's a pacifist, middle class black guy. And a weird looking cyborg.

And then after that it's what, like, Triathlon? Black Goliath? Bishop?
None of whom made a solo last nearly as long as Cage.

So did Strange's big globe thing ever get renamed? I doubt it's still called the Eye of Agamotto now that it's the name of his pendant, you know?

>I hate that magic crap

Not the kind of thing you expect a magic powered villain to say. Much less two of them.

How is this not resolved with "Tigra calls up Tony, and Sentry throws them all into the sun"?

I think it was called the Orb of Agamotto a few issues ago?

>None of whom made a solo last nearly as long as Cage.
NOBODY'S had a solo last that long lately. If you count the title changes, Luke's first series lasted 125 issues!

Going by how she acts in The Initiative, she wants to tear him apart herself. I don't even know why Marvel let him do this to Tigra, since she was already in her own book.

Yeah, but I was speaking historically.

The only other Black hero Marvel has with the kind of sales longevity Cage has shown is Black Panther.

>"The whole damn Masters of Evil stormed Avengers Mansion once. Almost one too."

Serious question Anons, when was the last time the Masters of Evil appeared in a comic, and actually used that name?

In Doctor Strange, or in this? Honestly, I'm kind of skimming now, unlike the good stuff.

Do you think Bendis even KNOWS they're technically magic based?

I wanna say Thunderbolts? There was a team of anti-Thunderbolt MoE.

Or the Young Masters of Evil, which was during Dark Reign, as a YA spin off.

Also, I'm pretty sure Zemo's team was more powerful than this group that includes a guy with the power of not having any damn hands.

>female daredevil
What did I miss here

>"Oh THAT was Chemistro."
>"You didn't even recognize-"

I guess someone told Bendis by now that Chemistro is one of a handful of Luke Cage villains that are memorable.

What are YOU favorite Luke Cage villains, Anons?

>HYARGH
so close

>Jessica Jones casually flying after Spidey

I guess she can fly a lot better when she's fucking pissed. Actually makes sense, given the only other time we've seen her fly as an adult was the time she beat the shit out of Stormin' Norman.

>Cloak walks into the building
>Immediately kills Strange

I mean, I know it's crap that he sort of managed it, but tactically speaking, that's the smart thing, if Strange were as strong as he's supposed to be.

Sorry we're dealing with Bendis-shit, not Taylor-madness.

>Wong beating the shit out of The Hood in hand-to-hand

Freaking great.

AND HE ACTUALLY HAD TO RUN AWAY!

I repeat, "freaking great".

...

>"They actually have SHIELD agents stationed outside the Sanctum Sanctorum

How has it taken them THIS long to report "Supervillain attack, wake the fucking Avengers"?

>Hood puts a gun to Danny's head

I like that wolverine keeps making fun of Clint for being dead

>TIGRA comes out of nowhere to save them

Spoilers, there's no reason this couldn't have been Luke Cage, taking a bullet for his bro. Tigra doesn't do anything else in the issue.

I actually kind of liked Stilleto and Discus for being such awful villains? Like as morons bouncing off of Cage, they were fun.

That Cred Forums incarnate arsonist guy with completely forgettable name was also pretty good.

Oh, and of course, Gideon "should be played by Nic Cage" Mace.

It's freaking weird, given that he's a damn X-Man. His people come back from the dead more often than Jesus.

Who's that above spider woman? With like the Roman helmet thing?

And the one next to sentry (not wonder man)

>Living Laser rips a hole right through Wolverine

God damn, that's fucking brutal. Has he always been able to do that?

>Who's that above spider woman? With like the Roman helmet thing?
>And the one next to sentry (not wonder man)

Close user, it supposed to be a GREEK Helmet. Because that's Ares.

When I called them idiots, that didn't make them bad as characters. They were what every Punisher hater thinks the Punisher is, which is GREAT, especially since the story keeps playing up that they were dumb as dirt.

...

Well, at least Wong knows to do the spell on Tigra.

So going by this page, World War Hulk already happened. And SOMEHOW it wasn't mentioned in this entire series until now.

Probably? I meant he's a laser, and usually fights Iron Man who's all kinds of fancy metals.
Wolverine is mostly Meat from the Meat Dimension, espescially in the gut there where the only real bones are the spine.

Okay, so "Operation Lightning Storm". In Reed's Ms. Marvel run, in addition to being a member of the Mighty Avengers, she was also given her own SHIELD sub-unit. It was mostly a bunch of SHIELD guys, but she got some superpowered people on her side like Anya Corazon as a sidekick (back when she still had the Arana carapace), Wonder Man, Sleepwalker, and Aaron Stack, who was going full Nextwave.

>Aaron Stack, who was going full Nextwave.
Yeah, rewriting him into being Bender was extremely popular.

So THAT'S where the beef bowl from Persona 4 gets all that meat.

Yes, I played Persona 4, shut up.

...

>"My name is Jessica Jones. I'd like to register, please."

>What are YOU favorite Luke Cage villains, Anons?

Oh shit, forgot one: The Soda Machine.
Most of the black, animal themed gangsters he fought were kind of disposable men with guns, which is why the white villains stuck out a bit more

>Why did we lose?
Because for some reason none of the members of your gang used their powers effectively in the slightest. They might as well have been Hydra agents.

Seriously. There were like 3 or 4 mind controllers on Hood's side.

Also, Namor's old flying mount.

Alright Anons, next we're going on to Secret Invasion. We'll start the tie-ins tomorrow! At midnight my time, maybe we'll run some of our favorite Luke Cage stories in a new thread, just to celebrate the Netflix series. Post any stories YOU like to show, and we'll try to get to them.

Don't bother mentioning "Luke's Christmas Carol" or the Doctor Doom duo, I'd probably start with them.

Something just hit me: Bendis forgot to give the Hood's gang AN ACTUAL NAME. They're just "the Hood's gang", that's not very memorable, and it's indicative of how Bendis sees these characters, as just mooks for the Hood and not villains in their own right.

Because the stuff he turns into gold won't stay as gold for longer than a few seconds.

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE
THAT'S NOT A LIVE BROADCAST AT ALL

Gideon Mace's secret desert city.
The one with the afforementioned super racist arsonist.
The one with the Knight theme tech gang.
Meeting Danny.

Tell me about The Hood! Why does he wear the hood? A lotta loyalty for a hired crowbar!

If you want black villains, there's Chemistro (literally all three were black), Shades and Camache, Black Mariah, Big Ben Donavan, and that's just what I remember off the top of my head!

Avengers Undercover

Well, I didn't mention Chemistro(s) because that's kinda what set off the discussion, but yeah I can't believe I forgot Shades and Commanche.

Black Mariah suffered a touch from being so Mammy visually. Big Ben was Luke lawyer much more that he was a villain (which was twice.)

Living Laser should be able to solo most of this team, only reason he isn't is horrible writing.

Pretty sure Jesus only came back the once

...

It was kind of her thing that she didn't trust Jess.

He got it back in House of M off screen without anyone commenting about it for any reason because no one with a tie in book had any reason to comment on some random guy having two legs and kept it for reasons.

Bump

Maybe Wolverine is standing into his tiptoes and Jess is relaxed.

It's a problem of the penciler, I think, to be fair.

Since when could ares fly or is he being carried which doesn't seem like something he'd allow

I fucking hate bendis' dialogue so much

It's okay, user I did too, twice. And plan to play Lupin III pàrt 5