Homestuck

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Why is Dave always a ghost?

irony?

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He likes dead things senpai. Liking dead shit is his big thing outside of god-tier rapping and making mixtapes

I always wondered which one was sweet bro and which was hella jeff. Now I know.

He should be a skeleton, since he specifically likes dead specimens. John should be a ghost. Or a lame movie character. I'm really not sure what he's going for in that second one. Bee keeper? Is that a Nick Cage reference?

>he doesn't know about THE BEES OH GOD NOT THE BEES

how

youtube.com/watch?v=-1GadTfGFvU

Ghosts are ironic?

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That's why I said Nick Cage. It's still a stretch. I feel like he should be a ghost buster or wearing a grungy white wifebeater with shoulder length hair.

There are so many other kind of dead things he could be though. Ghost is just low effort?

Who sorts Dave into Griffindor? Literally any other house is a better fit. How has tumblr so completely misinterpreted his character?

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Fuck, I meant hufflepuff. That's what i meant to say.

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>Dave
>More Silverdiver than Griffenguy
>Implying

What a cuck.

Anyone have a cool picture of Tavros that doesn't draw him like a goon or with other people? Trying to make a fan card game and can only find art that makes him look shit or that he is a ghost in.

Sorry, I meant Hufflepuff. Griffindor's probably the best fit for him. I think he could pull off a Ravenclaw too. Rose is a total Slytherin.

Dave's kind of a huge coward though.

I have a lot of Tavros pictures.

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Anything of note happen in the last month or two?

This. Ghostbuster John/John Poe is best John

Yeah, but that seems a little too sincere for Dave. Nothing would be more ironic than a bedsheet ghost costume

Hiveswap got a relase date- then didn't.

So was Ron, but he pulled through in the end. Dave was afraid of dying, but he confronted that and did what he had to do. He was afraid of his bro, but he worked up the courage to tell him how he felt, even if he did end up saying it to the wrong person. You can be afraid and be a Griffindor so long as you can over come your fear.

the hiveswap site surreptitiously updated to say that act 1 is coming out june 2017

Don't you mean KEK-a-doodle-doo?

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

why can't i say cuck what the fuck is going on

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But Dave rarely ever did.

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Nice so it's what I thought.
>Blood and semen found on the bed sheets by John.
>Only half of it is Dave's

What is miraculous ladybug and why is there so much crossover art of it with dave and jade

I just told you how he did with Dirk. And when he took the tumor to the green sun with Rose, not knowing that there would be sacrificial slabs to turn him god tier. And when he defended Jade during GO from Jack and PM, dying a heroic death.

Also Ron was a bad example. I hate that whiny bastard. Neville is better.

a better question, why is there no art of TzTok-Jade.

there's a blonde guy and a black-haired girl

pretty sure that's it + people cross HS over with fucking everything

Dave is gay.

3 and a half weeks...r-right?

Coolkid twinky blonde + dorkyish black haired girl that really really needs to fuck the blonde

So was dumbledor.

Too cowardly to deal with women.
>le gay dumbledore meme
That was such bullshit.

Because nobody plays runescaoe

So what does Cred Forums think of MSPARP? Because personally I feel cringey as fuck, but cant stop

Could never get into it. I've kinda always had that problem with roleplaying; I'm pretty fuckin happy with my life and personality as is, I'd just rather RP me in a cool world like Homestuck.

Speaking of, anyone know of a cool SBURB-esque game to play? I thought maybe GMOD might have some SBURB-themed servers what with that Homestuck mod, but I haven't found any yet

>*big dick nepeta walks into the room*

why is dave so commonly a ghost?

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WHY ARE THERE GHOSTS?

That's what I'd like to know!

Where did it all go so wrong?

>Nepeta body pillow
He deserves to be bullied.

The moment he didn't stick to the true 4/10 timeline, dooming the story.

:33 < talking shit like i wouldnt find out meowtherfucker?

Bitch, you aren't intimidating. You got killed by a clown.

Eh, I think Hufflepuff works. Dave's thing was that despite purporting to be an ironic coolguy, he actually is a really cool guy who comes through for his friends, and his role as a Time player involved a lot of unforgiving work to the point where he ended up playing the game longer than the others

Feels more reflective of his character development than "cool kid goes in the party house"

I wouldn't say he was a coward, he clearly had the stuff to face his fears, though he was still afraid. That's what bravery is all about, innit?

I also don't get why so many peg Rose as a Slytherin, I think she's more of a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw. I don't even know who would constitute a Slytherin in Homestuck, seems to me you have to be a big smelly willy to get in there, maybe Eridan, Vriska, Equius? Equius mostly for the blood thing, though.

Hey Sollux

To be fair, if that clown wants to kill something it's pretty damn hard to stop him from doing so.

Silverdiver is ruthless ambition. You don't have to be evil to get in. Eridan might work. So would Vriska. Maybe Rose.

Harry Potter is fucking stupid anyway.

All you have to do is rub his face.

I left out Meenah, she's plenty ambitious and proud of her lineage.

>proud of her lineage.
This wasn't a thing. Stop trying to make it a thing.

He goes into the big fucking hero house because he's a knight who's character development centered around facing his fears. The fact that he worked hard wasn't really a part of his character and wasn't elaborated on. You could make an argument that he shows slytherin potential from the way he manipulated the nakkodile stocks with time travel. But a much larger part of his character was his fear of dying and his insecurities about being a hero, both of which he learned to over come.

Tell that to the Karkats in the hundreds of dead timelines where Gamzee killed everyone. Because that's where most of those doomed Aradiabots came from.

I wish I could but that's literally all you had to do.

Rose is a slytherin because her lust for power drove her to collude with dark forces as she tried to break the game, eventually becoming consumed by their power. Slytherins are ambitions, cunning and unafraid to use morally ambiguous means to their ends.

I like how they were just the "lol evil" school. >b-but my dumbledore
The traits inherent to the school still fucked him over.

Harry Potter is dumb. Fuck Harry Potter.

You're right, she idolized herself. I misspoke.

I'm sold.

It's (literally) painfully easy
>Gamzee wants to do someone a dead
>Stand 20 feet away
>shout something like "ha mirthful messiahs more like BAD"
>run away giggling like a faggot
>Gamzee chases you to kill you instead

No, I mean, the Silvernigger school specifically caring about lineage.

It's weird. I just started listening to the audiobooks because I wanted something to listen to while I played grindan games that should've died 10 years ago, I step into the first Homosuck thread in forever and I see y'all talking bout Harry Poofter.

>ya'll
Do you use Tumblr? You're triggering me.

Do they actually use ya'll on tumblr? Isn't that cultural appropriation or does that not matter if they're white?

I don't know why I asked that, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

To answer your question though I don't use tumblr to do much more than follow art blogs. I'm just a weenie who says dumb stuff.

Why do so many girls like DaveRose?

>Do they actually use ya'll on tumblr?
Yes, all of them do. And it's a southern thing which isn't inherently any color. I live in Texas and it hurts to talk to people because I just think of Tumblr.

Dude, you need to let the fuck go of tumblr. You are balls deep.

Tumblr gave me PTSD.

Kanya is a cuck.

Kanaya is Cuntpi and Liveblogger?

No. Like Andrew.

But Andrew doesn't ship RoseDave.

That's Hufflepuff Dave.

Cuntpi's special. Don't rub it in

it's like the simplest and oldest halloween costume, so dated that it's barely used nowadays, and so simplistic that it has a high shittiness factor. therefore, irony.

Dumbledore was a gryffindor though

Really?

I thought Dave just hated niggers lol

by that definition, anyone who ever shows the tiniest amount of courage will be a griffindor

heroic != courage
hell, that stuff was even covered in his arc; being forced by (knightly) duty to act courageous despite being a coward and all that jazz

>Homestuck 2.0
>people believe it's going to be a highschool sitcom
>it actually turns up to be John and his friends killing other sburb winners who turned insane

woah when did this happen?

Sounds awesome, actually.

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i hate it but it's the only place i can act out my most depraved fantasies

i guess the majority of the userbase feels the same

alright you shitlords, ive got a morsel of info for you. you can chose to take this or let it die with this shitty thread

-the epilogue is underway and will open up with an injured AR from the alpha sessions derse making his way to the new earth where he will meet up with the mayor and PM
-vriska and the ghosts are DAOOTS, the breach healed itself taking everyone in the bubbles with it
-davepeta and aradia survived
-davekat is still endgame and will get a drawn out kiss scene

andrew has spent the better part of the past few months locked up in his gremblin cave of doritos and gin working on this and this is all hes told me

and fuck you mickey for realizing too late you didnt save the website post as a fucking draft until the fandom found out. interns i tell you

later

this is one of the weaker fake leaks I've seen

Fuck off and don't come back

SKRUB drops 10/25

I would highly recommend playing, it's just plain fun. Especially getting the other players to conspire to cuck the one faggot who keeps trying to waifu all the female npcs. For instance, the Black Queen is having some pretty strong feelings toward our dear Rogue, as she thinks he is her gay bff.

>and will open up with an injured AR from the alpha sessions derse making his way to the new earth where he will meet up with the mayor and PM
....?

Wow, these threads are still around.

Wow, you're still around.

I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this.

I believe you

you know, every fucking leak is true if it has a fucking retarded davekat scene

Guys
Let's not forget the Sorting Hat considers "what house do you want to be into" the most important criteria

So it's likely that characters like Vriska and Tavros would both end up in Gryffindor despite their wildly different personalities, because it's the Brave Hero Person House and they both value heroism and bravery in their own ways.

Similarly, Dave doesn't like the thought of being a hero, so might ask to get sorted into Hufflepuff, and Karkat, who likes to pretend he's ruthlessly ambitious, would probably love to belong in Slytherin.

What's with this weird shit?

Hardy Potter is stupid.

*Harry
Fuck.

Homestuck is so much worse

I'd be a slytherin derse dreamer because I'm intelligent, nihilistic and have a wicked sense of humour

>implying hussie can afford an intern

Interns aren't paid

Hussie still can't afford that.

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You don't?

because they identify as rose

Then why was Albus Severus put into Slytherin?

And I agree that the Cursed Child shouldn't be counted as canon, but JKR implied he'd be going there anyways at the end of the seventh book.

Regardless, do you really think the tryhard coolkid would want to be in the house whose biggest defining trait is being left overs from the other houses? Hufflepuff is the least cool house to be in.

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Kanaya's morning routine would really be complete with a nice big breakfast sausage

I like this.

>nice big breakfast sausage

Man, can you imagine her eating it?

Because dave is confident, rose is sassy, and the two of them mix together.

Good chemistry, and also girls love incest.

>dave is confident

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Whoa there user, what are you doing? You didn't even call them a nigger.

i'm too tired, sorry

Ah, sorry to hear that. Well, try to get some rest, and be sure to call them a nigger next time.

thanks
i was just going to take a nap, heh

Because at the time Albus resented his dad and couldn't think of a better 'fuck you' then being sorted into Voldemort house.

That and the first genuine friend he ever made was almost certainly going there, and he'd rather hang out with him than Hermione Jr.

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Do you have any expectations at all for 10/25?

Seems like wordfilter randomly turns on and off.
Which is a shame, banning "cuck" would effectively destroy Cred Forums and Cred Forums.

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Cuck only wordfilters when you put it in caps.

aradia's vagina

arabia's toothy vagina

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So does this guy just spam dead inferior ships all day?

>>Homestuck 2.0
>>people believe it's going to be

i DEFY to you try

Literally doesn't exist anymore in canon, forget her

Nope.
Thanks.

Would you prefer KatNep user? Is that what you want?

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how come she doesn't exist anymore when karkat does fuckall and is just a shitty fucking afterthought

I'd prefer neither. Why do you feel the need to spam this shit all day?

>Vriska apologizers paint her as a well-intentioned extremist, the one who does what must be done
Can you even imagine a way to win the game without Vriska raping Tavros? I don't think so.

Katnep user died so I took his place.

What if Kanaya raped him?

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Why?

Kanaya would never

KANAYA IS LESBIAN

SHE WOULD NEVER DRINK CHOCOLATE SEMEN

>lesbian
I'm pretty sure that will automatically change as soon as she sees Tavros dick

Because I love Daverezi and these threads are dead anyways. I would have done it in the threads around 4/13 and the many weeks (months?) after, but there was actually discussion going on then and I didn't want my OTP spamming being attached to whatever opinions I might have been sharing. I try to sage when I do it but honestly I forget most of the time.

Also, sometimes people reply with how much they enjoy Daverezi, or their dynamic, and that makes my day. If it bothers you, I apologize, but there isn't a lot of decent art of them so if you filter the MD5s you won't be seeing me.

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pure autism

KANAYA IS A LESBIAN
SHE CHOKES ON MY COCK

It's a Homestuck thread, yeah.

My thought is that Bloods true power is Investment in the story. That's why he's still there. He doesn't have any cool powers, he's just been around long enough that everybody expects him to be there, so he is. He's not important for any reason at all, Vriska stole that from him. He's just invested in the story so he gets to be there at the end. Ultimate joke character.

>classpects actually have powers
How do active and passive really work, if you're so smart?

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Active classes are actively fucked over by Hussie, like bringing back Vriska, while passive classes are passively fucked over by Hussie, like just forgetting them.

its awful and has been steadily getting worse. i wonder how many times ive talked to the same person :T

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Cuckswap

I forgot my trip. These are the ideas I have used to make the system for my game. I tried to bade them off of Canon as much as possible, but that's near impossible so it will undoubtedly be wrong on some counts.

The difference between active and passive classes are that active classes directly interact with their aspect, or directly affect other players without the others will having any effect over it. Passive classes invite other players to act, thus giving them the power to enact their will upon the medium, or have powers that rely on others for their potency.

These are just general guidelines, as the powers of the classes are more based off of what seemed to be the character archetype the class represents.

Let's take the Page for example. His first power is when he performs an act so pathetic(although that can change per aspect) that it invites everybody else to exploit his aspect. He arms everyone, inviting them to be Knights. This power can seem pretty useless, just holding others weapons for them. But his second power is what makes the Page a class to be reckoned with. It gives the page bonuses to his stats equal to everyone who he has ever acted as Page to, as well as access to the unique weapon they draw out of him. Thus it is the task of the Page to go about acting as bitch to everyone, until the point where he can use everything he has been made to carry.

>exploit
Whoa, that's specific! Do you also have classes that "use" or "have" their aspects?

Was he, dare I say, a cuck?

Don't wait for the Epilogue, the ending had all the answers.
Unless you care about things other than shipping.

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>clowns don't die
Good thing kids didn't prototype their sprites with a clown or something, that would make imps unbeatable.

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But the epilogue didnt confirm anything besides rose n papaya are gay

>they weren't even holding hands in the end

Poor dumb Rose. Give it another 100 years and Kanaya will have a harem of pretty young things, and Lalonde will be living with her mother like a codependent.

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If Hussie had actually planned this shitshow out, even a little, it could have been a hell of an impact

Imagine if we saw evidence of Caliborn and Gamzee's nature and all that as early as possible, like finding out clown-type enemies are nearly impossible to kill

Kanaya has no options for a harem
>jane
Is a heterosexual
>jade
Kanaya doesnt date anyone with a bigger dick than her
>roxy
Is with cali
>cali
Is with roxy
>terezi
I guess

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100 years dummy, by then they'll have an entire planet of new asses to ride

Yes shell have her pick of gentic abominations, inbreds and carapacians

>implying they're not going to just clone a million hybrid Roxys to pass aorund

That's a harlequin

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Where is the update man?

I'm still sad we didn't get to see more ideas for sessions. Andrew struck some fun creative gold he could have made a small side project out of to keep setting-interest piqued in some way, maybe set up Paradox Space and Homestuck 2.0 better. But the dude loathes worldbuilding and good ideas, so no dice. Shame.

>LOCAM
Buddy, I know our moon when I see it.

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>Paradox Space
Nah, the fandom is too fucking retarded to make good ideas

And most good ideas are butchered to make them tumblr-friendly

You know, it's kind of sad the moon didn't come along with the earth, because then we could have had the Green Moon be Literally LOCAMs Moon.

Does anyone have context for this image?

jojostuck updates every friday now due to college

the last update was three days ago

mspfanventures.com/?s=13714&fav=1

unless you're talking about something else?

>those kind of eyes

god dammit Kanaya stop taking boner-inducing makeup tips from your slutty cumtank of a 'girlfriend'

Sometimes I almost wish Rose had kept the blonde but gone full goth whore

Oh, no, I was talking about Jojostuck, thanks for informing me about the update schedule by the way.

>Those first threads after Rose's black dress was revealed
literally the best time to be in hsg. It was open season on Rose slutification

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kan is for sexual

Kanaya can start dating the myriad of blonde spoiled Strider puppygirls that have grown up by that point.

But first what?

lewd purposes

What lewd purposes user?

But they're all straight!

Please, they're stuck up rich bitches, they're all a little bisexual

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WE MUST TALK ABOUT PARALLEL UNIVERSES

Cute non-fucked over kids are cute!

would pre-godtier dirk or sollux win in a fight to protect their respective bitch?

>jade why are you black when our parents are clearly of asian descent

>Not wanting a heavily tanned partly Asiatic looking Jade

jake is tanned though
she is overcooked

>no alt timeline where Eri went Godtier in the veil and turned into a recurring villain

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Dark tan skin can be cute.

They go well together.

The incest is just a bonus

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For christsake stop

I dont want this thread for the 20th time this week

but he got fish pussy and got tiger in one

and that's all we can be glad for

Holy shit

Skin colors that actually make sense

Its a miracle

(Jade and Jakes make sense because they live on islands in the middle of the ocean)

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>tanning turns you into a nigger

>every dark-skinned person is black

Well, no, but they aren't white either.

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F8CK 8FF

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no

Jade had narcolepsy so she probably passed out outside for hours at a time

>that one fic where Dave was kidnapped and raped by Jane

>that one fic where Dave was kidnapoed and raped by Jane but it was actually Jane

>Jane pretending to be Jane
The perfect disguise!

"narcolepsy"

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what is the most VILE, HURTFUL and OVER the LINE prank the two nannasprites could have pulled on jade?

>that one fic where Jade and Jane consider things for a moment, make up because family should always be close, and then both rape him

Why would they prank their daughter like that? Especially the Nannasprite that spent years with her and dealing with her heartbreaking doggy depression and comforting her while secretly feeling that she's failed as a caregiver because there's no way she can help her child

I mean
If Jane is going to rape, she'll rape Jake.
It's the circle of rape: Rose -> John, Jade -> Dave, Jane -> Jake, Roxy -> Dirk, and John, and Jake

>Roserape

God I miss that. That was good stuff.

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The REAL circle of rape

Dirk > Rose
Dave > John
Roxy > Jane
Jake > Jade

Jane loves cummies!

homestuck is very, very bad

>There is a universe where Homestuck went ahead on 4/10
>There is a universe where it was good

>That fic where everybody hates Jane
>Slowly Nannasprite realizes everybody is starting to hate her too because of her relations to Jane
>Kills Jane in her sleep

this tbqh

Fuck you it said it was right when i typed it

There wasn't a typo

She didn't have narcolepsy

Vriska was just using her as a target to train the use of her powers on humans

That's why she stopped falling asleep constantly

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So when Cred Forums dies, what happens to us

Links? I wanna see what it's like

I feel so CAUCASIAN

>Cred Forums
>dying

Why would Cred Forums die? I think your question is backwards, these threads are on life support.

It works. Dave with all the heroic bullshit he ironically subverts but winds up doing anyways.

It gives him something to fight against.

Why are we still posting here?

He thinks he is, but he really isn't. There are plenty of times (like facing his death at the hands of Jack, or trying to undertake the Green Sun mission in Rose's stead and chasing her down when she took off without him, even though he knew it was certain death)

Japanese Moot announced that this site is bleeding money like crazy and he's going to need to at least cut back on things

I honestly doubt I'd really miss this site for the most part but I enjoy the little autistic corner of the Internet that is /hst/ and I'd miss it

>capital letters
hand in your badge

Give us somewhere else and I'll go, my dude
Talking of which, does anyone wanna do a "Cred Forums sings" of How do I Live? I heard that mentioned around when Act 7 ended, I thought the D8 night version would be cool to do

Jade "No ZOG in my Frog" Harley approves

Homestuck betrayed and hurt us too badly for anyone to want to do anything Homestuck related.

I expect there to be a revival (albeit in /vg/, where the mods pretty much anything goes, no matter how autistic) when/if Hiveswap comes out in 2017

It's been bleeding money for years. We'll be fine. Cut Cred Forums and Cred Forums.

>Hiveswap comes out

>Hiveswap
Reminder, lads: Hiveswap, more than any other reason, is the reason Homestuck went to shit. Hiveswap is, ultimately, the reason for the Gigapause, and several lesser hiatuses. Hiveswap is the Dio Brando to Homestuck's Joseph Joestar, if Hussie is George Joestar. Hiveswap is the embodiment of ruin for Homestuck, and for us.

It is your duty to ensure that Hiveswap is a massive commercial failure. Show no mercy. Get a little of your own back from that man.

*Jonathan Joestar

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The Hiveswap webpage was briefly edited to say Q1 2017, and then taken down again

The "Hiveswap" threads would only nominally be about Hiveswap. In practice, they'd be /hsg/ all over again (but not called that, because Hearthstone already has dibs on /hsg/)

But yeah don't give Hussie your money

We don't need to do anything for that to happen, part one means it's going to be an hour long point and click 2d flash game written by nu male tumblr cucks (not including andrew hussie) sold to a dead audience with an announcement of no sequel about a month after release. The game might not ever be finished anyway.

>dat back arch
It's the kind of flexibility that lets you tongue-punch her mouthhole while rod-slipping her lovebox. Just fold her over like you're on /po/ and one-two-three you're in the flow.

Don't forget the breasts when you go down, of course.

The odds of the game making money are slim, but you can still do your part. Don't let that con artist see a cent of your money.

>The Hiveswap webpage was briefly edited to say Q1 2017, and then taken down again
top lel

Hiveswap will never last, there's no mods for it.

>buying single player video games in 2016
heh, don't worry about a thing bud.
All I want from Hiveswap is joey porn

There is autism, which /utg/ has been running off of for a year and counting

We die

how do we fix hussie

I don't get the joke.

Will Joey manage to be a better character than jade and Jane? Because homestuck without sounds irritating as fuck.

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*without strilondes
Don't know why my phone deleted that word.

Straight Strilondes > Harleyberts > Gay Strilondes

What about incestuous strilondes?

It's really not.

A dumb bitch?

this is wrong on so many levels

Strilondes:
Rose: Boring
Dave: Ok for the first three acts then he got Boring
Roxy: Boring
Dirk: Perfect

John: Funny, sexy, interesting
Jade: Funny, sexy, interesting
Jane: Bitchy, sexy, boring
Jake: Funny, sexy, boring

Superior genes win again.

It'll happen.

WTF, I hate Homestuck now.

WTF, I really, really hate Homestuck now.

What was the original instance of this sentiment in reply to, anyway?

>straight Strilondes
Don't exist.
>but Roxy
Bisexual.

Also you forgot to put gay Harleyberts on there. Hint: there's one confirmed and he's the worst.

Guy saying all Homestuck threads have autism in it.

To find out who is the superior genepool, we must first understand that each character is one of four characters Hussie can only write. For convenience we will refer to them as
>John
>Rose
>Dave
>Jade
characters.

>Trolls
Aradia: Jade then Rose then Jade
Tavros: John
Sollux: Dave
Karkat: Dave
Nepeta: Jade
Kanaya: Rose
Terezi: Dave
Vriska: Jade
Equius: John
Gamzee: John
Eridan: Rose
Feferi: Jade

>Carapace
Spades Slick (and all jacks): Rose
Diamonds Droog: Dave
Boxcars: Jade
Deuce: John

WV: John
PM: Jade
WQ: Rose
AR: Dave

BQ: Rose
BK: Unknown
WK: John

>Cherubs
Caliborn: Dave
Calliope: Jade

>Guardians
Dad: John
Nanna: John
Mom: Rose
Bro: Dave
Gramps: Jade
Bec: Jade
Gcat: Jade
FedoraFreak: John

>Alpha Kids
Jane: John
Dirk: Dave
Roxy: Rose
Jake: Jade

>Etc.
LE: Rose
Hussie: Dave
Alt Calliope: Rose
Serenity: Jade

Alpha John
Alpha Dave
Alpha Rose
Alpha Jade

Horrorterrors: Rose

>Ancestors (Both)
Damara: Rose
Rufioh: Dave
Mituna: John
Kankri: Dave (i would have said rose but dave's masculinity rant really shed a light on dave's true colors ie faglord)
Meulin: Jade
Porrim: Rose
Latula: Dave
Aranea: Rose
Horuss: John
Kurloz: John
Cronus: Rose
Meenah: Dave

[1/2]

>>but Roxy
>Bisexual
Proof?

Pretty high-tier

>there's one confirmed and he's the worst
Jane is the worst though.

his cavernous ass

Roxy got married to a girl.

Can't find the screencap of Hussie saying "gay singularity" from that particular day but trust me, there is no straight Strilonde.

Debatable. I'll grant a tie.

>implying jake acts anything like jade

>Jake
>not bi
He's explicitly into ladies too.
>bi erasure

Yeah really, he's no breedslut

>AI
AR: Dave

Now that we have a way to measure each character, we simply list the good characters of each character type.

>Good John characters
John
Equius
Deuce
WV
Dad
Nanna
Mituna

>Good Rose Characters
Eridan
Jack
Mom
Aranea

>Good Dave Characters
Dave
Sollux
Droog
AR
AR
Caliborn
Dirk
Meenah
Condy

>Good Jade Characters
>Aradia

Now we simply count:
John: 7
Rose: 4
Dave: 9
Jade: 1

Conclusion
From this information we can gather that Dave is the best character as there are more good Dave characters than any other character archetype.

Sources
mspaintadventures.com

This is retarded.

This is especially retarded.
>Aradia
>Good

>Using tricksters as evidence.
Ayyy lmao.

Wow, this got super wrong super quick

Dave's also bi and the only options they gave were gay or straight. I assumed it was gay in the general sense, like a bi person saying "wow I'm so gay". Hence defending Roxy as bi. I'm also inclined to think Rose is bi but that's ambiguous.

Why do you think it's greentexted? It's a controversial topic that needs further testing, but for the purpose of this experiment I counted it.

Care to write up your explanation then? Otherwise this is hard science.

Calliope, dude.

Your science is bad and you are gay.

...

What?

Care to write up your explanation then? Otherwise this is hard science.

...

It's not. You're gay. The only thing that's hard is your dick (for men.)

When Roxy gave Calliope the ring of life. Hussie posted something akin to "see? gay singularity" on Twitter. He later left some affectionate interaction ambiguous ("in times like these words have a hard time cutting it"), pretty obviously hinting at a kiss BUT that can't be confirmed.

I refuse to believe in bi Dave. The epilogue can consist of nothing but Dave taking it up the ass from Karkat and I'll still refuse to accept him as anything other than straight

That's because post-retcon Dave isn't Dave.

So pandering? Can't take it as proof.

You're just a homophone!

I love davejade but nigga he was raised by the gayest dude in five different universes

it'd be impossible if he wasn't AT LEAST bi-curious

...

>what's the point of having sex it i can't have kids...

>Jade "Greyskin Genocider" Harley
>Having sex with a troll

DELET THIS

I wish Hussie would confirm it either way but he's a coward and Roxy/John enjoys fair popularity so despite the clear hints I don't think Roxy/Calliope will ever be confirmed beyond this pandering. On the other hand, he'll never explicitly deconfirm it because he'll be flayed for gay baiting. This is a hellish limbo.

Anyway, the only straight kids are Jane and John and probably Jade, but if she enjoyed the kiss from Davepeta all bets are off.

Why isn't she allowed to have kids?

I fucking hate Hussie. Shipping in Homestuck never mattered until Act 6. But then he had to pander so he started dropping shit like this

I'll post links and the whole thing on /tg/ on 10/25

I'll admit, the Knight and Page is the least grounded in Canon, and most vague compared to Understand, Take, Make/Fix, Destroy, and Manipulate/Change. But I've done my best to make Exploiting a legitimate power.

It works by having objects, status effects (which are all emotional based), and general story themes that are associated with an Aspect. When an Exploit player simply is in possession of these objects, or has been afflicted with a related status, they gain bonuses to stats as well as unique, aspect based powers. And when other players have these objects or are afflicted with these statuses, then the knight gets bonuses when interacting with them, as well as special powers. So just because it sounds vague doesn't mean it doesn't have rules to it, fuckfreak.

>tfw jackquest died
>tfw jackquestanon was never heard from again

So what's happening with Homestuck now, is Hussie going to do things to continue it or is it officially over and dead?
can i finally delete my porn

>Jack never got to masturbate furiously

>Bec Noir just got his hand cut off.

Hiveswap is ambiguously set to release early next year, according to an apparently redacted website update. God only knows if the epilogue is still on.

Hiveswap still coming soon™ and "Homestuck 2.0" is a thing

Hussie has basically made Homestuck the rest of his career.

Someone help me find that dumb funny homestuck general comic about WHY ARE THERE GHOSTS, I need it for reasons.

We're halfheartedly holding out hope for any kind of news on 10/25. Otherwise, same old radio silence.

She's trying to see if she can make the Grey Baby.

>Jade "Paradox Space for the Master Race" Harley
>Making a baby that isn't 100% white

You should upload your porn and share it with us.

Hussie's SJW friends can't keep a secret for shit but in 9 days he's scheduled to have a Pepe the frog tattoo removed from his right arm that he got just before Pepe was declared a hate symbol and doesn't want anybody to know about

Seriously though Jackquestanon if you're here just tell us what happened, even "I didn't feel like maintaining it anymore" would be enough

Please give us closure

Explain THIS

>Jade "No Brown in Can Town" Harley
>black

She's mad because little Daveniqua didn't lean more towards her father's side of the family.
And that Dave actually wrote down "Daveniqua" on the birth certificate.

...

>Dave and Dirk fucking with the other kids by making their worshippers adopt intentionally stupid practices

I'll trade it for your best Nepeta.

Sounds like them.

>John getting really uncomfortable whenever he sees people worshipping him

Pretty dress Nepeta is my favorite kind of Nepeta. I can't find one of the better designs though. Is this enough?

Why?

Just being called a leader made him uncomfortable

Imagine how he'd feel about people worshipping him like a god

But that's with his friends. John would probably think it's funny to be a God.

sounds plausible but i mean, surely if he got a pepe tattoo he'd have a meme photo immediately spread around

I am satisfied, that's a cute Nep. Enjoy, user.

>MSPAF dead
>Cred Forums on track to die soon since Hiroshimoot can't into money

>MSPAF was slowly murdered while Huss and co watched
>DA simply disappeared
>/hsg/ had died, been brought back, and is dying once more
>Only tumblr remains
Life is simply unfair.

At least we can fuck Tumblr. But she's probably limp in bed.

Tumblr's on life support thanks to Yahoo!.

dA is the one who seemingly disappeared, but was always there and watched the downfall of the others from a distance because they were too afraid to try and directly help the others.

Delete your porn? Shit son, I was thinking of commissioning some.

Some Condy porn, that is.

Sad story.

Here's a thing I found on Reddit.
Enjoy.

What happens when they embrace it
What kind of practices are there?

Jade's followers emulate her, they're all total breedsluts.

What the fuck is a Griska?

Gamzee and Vriska.

>Lord English was trapped by the end of the comic and Andrew Hussie and was left inside the comic and inside the House Juju
>The Kids entered the white door which led outside the comic to their new universe
>The New Universe is safe and happy because they trapped Lord English
>The masterpiece didn't happen because it was unhappened by a retcon
>Character arcs were mostly unfulfilled because it was badly written (something, something, story conventions, something, something "real people don't have arcs")
>The ghost army died in the black hole
>The Sprites and Sprites^2 lived, because why wouldn't they
>Gamzee died in Collide
>Vriska is awful; she got rewarded and didn't deserve it
>Griska is I have no fucking idea what this is talking about
>And that's why the ending was bullshit

she's fucking karkat in that pic!
karkat is infertile user

then Explain THIS

to jade you mong
trolls can't get humans pregnant!

>actually subtle propaganda so that humanity can breed itself back up to acceptable numbers

then explain THIS

Reminder that the future of humanity are slaves to sexbots.

Jade could never compete with literal breeding machines....

or could she?

...

see
those are clearly puppies

why do you think? its untrying and he's cool alternatively he should be wearing something overly complex and extra dumb to be ironic

But Jade doesn't produce puppies, she produces babies

>There is a universe where Homestuck went ahead on 4/10
yes
>There is a universe where it was good
no

>Jade could never compete with literal breeding machines....

You really, really underestimate her.

>le homestuck was always bad meme

It'd be like John Henry only with lots of impregnating sex!

And in the end it's Dave who dies, not Jade.

Gives a new meaning to "driving steel"

Terezi is fat.

WTF, I hate Homestuck now.

Then what about THIS?

- Lord English was trapped by the end of the comic and was left inside the comic. The Kids entered the white door which led to the Lord English fight. The new universe is safe and happy because Lord English won't mess with his stable timeloop. The Masterpiece didn't happen because it was in a doomed timeline. Character Arcs were mostly unfulfilled because it was badly written. The Ghost Army lived because of the House Juju. The Sprites and Sprites^2 lived because why wouldn't they. Gamzee survived in the fridge and arrived in Caliborn's session via the black hole. Vriska is awful, got rewarded, and didn't deserve it. (Vriska) is wonderful, got fucked over, and didn't deserve it. That's why I thought the ending was bullshit.
- Lord English was destroyed by the Masterpiece kids. The Kids were killed by the Condense or her minions. The new universe is fucked because Lord English is nonlinear. The Masterpiece happened and was fulfilled by a doomed or alternate set of kids. Character Arcs were mostly fulfilled because of the lilypad conversations. The Ghost Army died in the black hole. The Sprites and Sprites^2 vanished because they are game constructs. Gamzee died in Collide. Vriska is awful, got rewarded, and completely deserved it. (Vriska) is awful, got rewarded, and completely deserved it. That's why I thought the ending was amazing.

He has a little death.

>Vriska is awful, got rewarded, and completely deserved it.
???

@: Vriska %{v1}. (Vriska) %{v1}.
v1: is %{wonderful|awful}, got %{fucked over|rewarded}, and %{completely deserved it|didn't deserve it}

She can't produce that many kids compared to a mass cloning machine.

it would look something like this

No but it's more fun to fuck Jade than a machine

I can't believe Vriska became the lucky father...

Kanaya is also fat.

i always jade knew was a black woman!

Prove it.

Fucking Jade takes too much commitment, you can't breed her then leave her

*black man

Even the worst people like it.

Just because she has the build of a proud black man doesn't mean she is one! How is she going to outbreed a machine if she has a BIG BLACK DOGGY DICK

Those vaginal muscles can crush that steel-driving machine

Not evidence.

prove it
draw a detailed picture

Not an argument.

try fucking jade then a microwave sometime

VRISKA IS A FAT DUMB WHORE!

Literally wasn't an argument.

I just did both and prefered the microwave.

Prove it

>microwave
You got shit taste in robots, toasters are where it's at.

>toasters
>not blenders

>he wouldn't fuck a washing maching
thick
THICK!!!

Jade's augmented vagina

No. You're gay.
>Not a refrigerator.
That's not REAL thicc.

Dogmentation

...

>You're gay
You're the one that doesn't want to fuck Jade

Maybe only the worst people like it.

Why are they so flat

rekt
homophobes btfo
how will they ever recover

They're 16

It always felt wrong to me that the Disciple wasn't called the Huntress.

Jade is dumb and annoying.

What does that mean?

You're dumb and annoying

Jane > All

Photographic evidence of comparisons stating otherwise or you're AUTOMATICALLY wrong.

...

Where's the IN photo comparison?

Jane is too big to fit in the photo

bullshit

No, I'm not. Jade is.

It's true.

Is Cuntpi the only tripfag we've got left? I haven' seen Loki, Angel, etc. in a while.

the world went to shit around the same time homestuck did.

Coincidence? I think not!

The 2008 economic crisis started before Homestuck did

Almost everything that's gone wrong in the world since has been a natural consequence of that

No...that's not true... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE

I didn't know there were Jane fans

There shouldn't be.

and yet white supremacy and mass shootings seem to have spiked in the last year, right around the time Terezi: Remem8er came out

It's true.

well shit

can't argue with that

>white supremacy
>Bad thing

NOOO...nooo...now I NEED to fuck her.

...

You can't

thanks obana

She's 700 pounds, dude.

Damn, Dave has some biting political commentary.

oh right, I'm at the seat of white trash's power, aka a shit-stained scooter in walmart

We didn't buy enough SBaHJ shirts

we could have stopped it

What?

Back to your containment board

...

What would buying SBaHJ shirts have done? How would that have stopped hivebent?

I do kinda want this one.

you could have been the proud owner of a glow in the dark shirt that doesn't actually glow in the dark

...

Let's kill this fucking thread already. Post your breeding list.

Somebody bring me a pregnant aradia right now
Or I'll FUCK nepeta

As I recall, Hussie said they did two runs of the glow-in-the-dark shirts

The first run didn't glow, the second one did (or maybe the other way around, I don't remember)

They don't glow in the dark? My dreams are ruined.

I'm talking about the one that was specifically supposed to glow in the dark if it wasn't clear

Fag.

It was clear. Thank you.

s h i t h e a d

...

...

Someone make one where Dvae's and Karkat's sperm have sperm sex and then 8ig 8ad vriska cell comes in and fucks them both

This all happens in a...fleshy tealish background

God tier
>Nepeta
>Jade

Good tier
>Rose
>Roxy
>Feferi
>Latula
>Meulin

Ew tier
>kanaya
>Jane
>aradia
>damara
>aranea

I don't want to die tier
>vriska
>meenah

I don't want to die or have by dick bitten off tier
>terezi

Bully.

>Shit tastes.

I didn't come here to seek your approval. I came here to shit up this general's remains

>Nepeta on top
>Rose above Roxy
>Latula that high
>Vriska not at the very bottom

>Vriska
NO
STAY AWAY, KARKUCK

SHE IS DANGEROUS

>>>>Rose above Roxy
>Implying that's not the right choice.

Good Tier
>Roxy
>Fef
>Jane (A. because her fat body is just better for making babies, B. because she reminds me of some chick that I love but really messed shit up with)
>Aradia

Okay Tier
>Jade
>Rose
>Nep
>Eri
>Vriska
>Terezi
>Kanaya

Garbage Tier
>Any of the womans not in the above two tiers

This list, of course, excludes the dudes because I can't get them pregnant outside of my friends' slashfics

...

Roxy is shit! Shit!

No, YOU'RE SHIT

No, Roxy is gutter trash! Complete scum! Horrible character! Terrible waifu! Awful breeder!

Yeah, well you know what?

All of that stuff, but instead YOUR waifu!

haha jokes on you! i'm gay!

But then it wouldn't be true. :^)

>i'm gay!

haha j-just kidding john
w-we cool?

...

But all of that is true for Roxy.

...

There is NOTHING wrong with being gay.

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

...

I'm calling the cops.

The entire judical system was destroyed because of the gays. There's only one man left who can take the law into his own hands.

What do you guys even do here nowadays

We haunt the halls we lived in because we were betrayed and murdered by a shell of a man.

Stew in anger. Lament our fate and imagine what could have been. Shitpost.

Basically the same as any other thread in this hellhole.

I forgot why I'm even being murdered.

Try to play catch-up on all the fun shit the fandom used to do here by begging for cute art of characters that barely resemble the people that once interested me, grieve over the fact that I never got to hang out with my fellow autists at a Homestuck-themed con, and laugh at other people being funny

>tfw you witnessed Karkat getting castrated by Hussie and turned into Dave's irrelevant girlfriend

she bear John's hate child

>when John cucked the shit out of post-retcon Vriska and pre-retcon Karkat
god DAMN

Johnroxy is shit.

Only one family is allowed to bear John's seed

This.

the last hetero human male in the universe is bound to cuck aliens and get pussy where no man has before
and that family is the eggberts
john and all his wives

I meant the Lalondes

Only one Lalonde, user. Rose.

ALL Lalondes must get pregnant from John

>Only one Lalonde
probably not the gay one tho

...

No. Only Rose.

Don't want her getting shit character genes.
She's probably bi.

>Don't want her getting shit character genes.

Don't worry, John's sperm beat the bad character genes into submission.

They're not THAT strong.

Don't be wrong at me you fucker

Name five shit trolls that aren't dancestors or feferi

Or Aradia fucking gets it

What? Fuck you?

You heard me. Go be wrong in the corner.

Nepeta and Aradia.

I'm not wrong though. You go in the corner.

Hi icels

...